getting stuff done: creating my life

a fascinating TEDx talk about how humans create music from their environment.  What I found totally inspiring was the idea that we don't necessarily create otherworldly idylls to escape an environment that we do not like, but that we create in symbiosis, we embrace our environment and humanly mimic it and in doing so we transform it into something else (music, dance, art) and by that we escape the mundanity.  I just love how those ladies created a dance from the machines they worked with.  Check it out.

Oh and here's another one.  This chap set up the Hanover Zocalo which was a really really cool idea.... here's to setting the example....

I wish I hadn't deleted all my old posts...... however, there was a time when this blog was all about GETTING STUFF DONE.  It still is.  Its still about writing down my dreams and goals and tracking my progress towards them.  My old first ever post was all just the dream life thing.  I seem to remember it was about having a big kitchen table and lots of friends dropping by, of eating well and doing art and yoga everyday.  I guess this still pretty much sums up my dream life.  I will add in having my own studio (ooh one for Art and one for Yoga, get me!) and throw in some travel.... yes please.  And I have upped the ante with the campervan to being a really beautiful converted horse box... all dark wood and a wood burner!  My travelling studio!  I have been sitting here in the Blue Dog Gallery today dreaming of my alter ego.  She is called Dolly Chestnutt and to a large extent, as perhaps all alter egos are, she is pretty much all I want to be.  Or even all I am....  at least in my dreams.    I am thinking that she might start a blog.... and be the name of my new business.  She could be the wedding coordinator who supplies vintage bunting to English Country weddings.  And who creates totemic iconic narrative portraits using collage, story telling and drawing and painting.  Oh and she definately creates vast colourful painterly canvases that sell for thousands in international galleries! Dolly definately has one of those cool converted horse boxes as a mobile home and mobile studio! 

So its March, like tomorrow.  And I do like a little bit of dream and goal setting.

March 
- create new dream journal pages -  I have an idea of a 3-d set piece or three.  I am looking forward to joining in with Amelia's Journal Your Dreams again this week.  I like that its just a week too.  I can get very enthusiastic about online things then if I miss out a bit somewhere in the middle I can lose my way and forget about the last bits....  But in a way I will be experimenting and dream setting at the same time.  Woohoo.
- yoga at least 2 times a week
- green smoothie every day
- eat something raw everyday
- study my yoga books a little every day if I can.... before I go to sleep I think is a good time.
- track spending / switch my ISA account / count up my savings jars stuff and BANK them.  pay Hanover Centre for playgroup room hire. 

Theme dreamsetting..... as narrative portrait.... hmmmm.....

Things I am looking forward to in March
My London Girlies are coming to visit on 19th March.  Woo hoo! I am so happy.  I so regret missing going to the girly lunch get together.  Its a lesson I have learnt, if possible, do not cut your nose off to spite anything.  Old friends are so valuable, do not miss out on spending time with them.

New friends are very cool too, though.  Part of my dream setting has to be this seeking of supportive community.  And as part of this I am also VERY MUCH looking forward to the UK bloggers meet up on the 26th.  I have already met up with Kat from This Year I.... and that was just great!  It was so easy chatting to her, I had such a lovely day.  (Kat, I did take some pictures but have lost the lead to upload them to my computer..... I loved reading your post and am so glad you loved Brighton!) I am not sure who is coming, but Kat is, and so is Holly of Shopaholly (the illustrious and dynamic organiser of the event, GO Holly!), I believe Laura from Move to Portugal is coming (hope so) but am sad already that Caroline from What's Happening at My House cannot make it (double booked? you are too popular!) And Rachel of Go Placidly too (hurrah!) And someone called Amy whose blog I need to look up....  Very exciting, so really looking forward to that, ladies

Bjorn Again, next monday!  Hurrah some high campery and ABBA singalonga.  Its my Christmas present from Hub.  Gotta love him for that! 

I am also being a nanny for 2 weeks.  Which I am somewhat dreading slightly.... the wee chap, K is gorgeous, but looking after him and Bub at the same time?  eek. And back to nappies with him (he's just 2) And he's a vegetarian and a prolific fruit eater.......  I do prefer sitting in the gallery and blogging I must say.  Oh am sure it will be fine.

Well.  Better stop now!  Off to dream some more!

Hello again.  I just wanted to say that I have spent the last hour or so immersed in creating freely.  I have totally and utterly had a lovely time and I feel happy inside. Inside my heart there has been some leaden feelings and they have been hard to shake off.  Hello creative play!  It so works.

I started out because i have entered into Louise Gale's Creative Colour Challenge.  And so like me, I have missed the deadline.  I have already received a delightful and delicate painting from Fur Will Fly and there's me, all in a huff and had forgotten all about it.  So with this beautiful reminder that came so unexpectedly in the post (how totally awesome to receive an unexpected parcel?!) (FWF I am on the case, it will be coming your way soon!! I Promise!) I came upstairs this evening to create my piece.  The theme is BLOOMING COMPLIMENTARY.  Its bloom and complimentary colours.  I chose green and red and started by cutting out green and read bits from a magazine.  Then I got some green and red paint and made a bit of a mess on various bits of paper. FUN.  And finally went for it.  I have used the words Bloom True.  Because this is the name of the workshop I will be doing with Flora Bowley at the Do What You Love retreat in May.

After the last few days, and my work load of late. I am so absolutely and utterly taking this time out to go and immerse myself in wild and free creative painting.  Posting about Amelia's Journal Your Dreams workshop (and YES I am going to do it again!) earlier this evening, got me thinking about how I had used a photo of Flora painting in her studio as part of my Journal.  And how she came to symbolise what I want to be as a painter and how I had journalled about wanting to find the time and space to CREATE.  It all sort of came together with Beth inviting Flora to be one of the workshop leaders at her Do What You Love retreat.  I felt that it was all a bit pricey for me, and my husband definately is not sure its something I should be spending the money on...... but I am sure. And the work that has come my way since, and this unexpected insurance payout.... and EVEN this horrible fit of the blues I have just gone through..... this finding the time and space to create is TOTALLY necessary to me.

So Bloom True.  It was so good to create a piece that means so so much to me right now.  In honor of all the magical coincidences and dream manifesting and creating community I have found here in the blogosphere....


Oh and I am going to be adding a new word to my WORD for 2011.  SPACE.  Its yoga and its about space for me to Bloom True to myself.

Later::: I just found this.... its just EXACTLY what I need to read just now.... 

I just want to say that I am thinking about re doing Amelia's Journal Your Dreams E Workshop again.  Its Pay what you can (suggested £25 donation) so its so accessible.  Totally loved it.  And if you are wavering on the edge of thinking about it, GO AHEAD dive in!

As much as I really was trying to just focus on the positive.  Truth be told I was a seething mass of fury and resentment for a few days there.  Pissed off about one thing (OK furious! about it) I spilled out into everything that pissed me off and stayed there, unable, UNABLE to STOP THINKING ABOUT IT ALL.  I tried and did all sorts of things.  But gradually it subsided.  Today Hub was telling me that I was being stupid and when was I going to stop being so miserable about the place.  And while it did annoy me a LOT that he said that (!) never the less, there was this part of me, that just thought, OH, yeah.  Its just going to be me stopping it.  Nothing is actually going to happen to make things any different.  I am just going to stop being cross sooner or later. And there.  And if I do stop being cross and, as such, focusing on ALL THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF.  Then my life might get more bearable again.  I do have reasons for being upset.  And perhaps life isn't exactly how I expected it or, more like, *wanted* it to be.  But being a sulky cow snapping at everyone isn't much cop neither.  It is funny though.  I feel calm now.  But really have not been calm at all.  And I really don't know what exactly it was that sent me so far over the edge and why I found it so hard to come back from it. 

I went to a lovely yoga class this evening and came out feeling rather humble and silly.  This is my life and while there are bits that are not perfect, seriously..... I am being silly, hanging on to my anger for some sense of being justified in it.

Good things that happened today

Bub's recent appalling behaviour can really really be linked to him being knackered.  Today M   - Bub's age and a friends wee boy whom I look after for her -  with whom Bub behaved like a devil last time they were together, to the extent that I feared that I could no longer have him over.....  today they got on really well with only minor spats.  It was such a joy to see them giggle and play happily.  And also to just have it confirmed that Bub's behaviour does degenerate when he is tired.  Last time M was over it was after 4 days of preschool and playdates and a late night.  Last night when Bub went meltdown was when he was up extra early and had a really busy day with a very long walk at the end of it, too late in the afternoon.  I am very relieved about this diagnosis.  It means we can help him manage.

My yoga class was ace.

Gallery called to discuss future dates for me working.  I have work.  It is GOOD.
My girlfriends, whom I was not able to see this Sunday, are convening to come to Brighton to visit me.  They are so cool.

I had a bad day yesterday.  it made me think of ALL the bad things in my life.  And all that happened is that I cried a lot and felt miserable. I drank wine, ate chocolate and croissants and shopping. But I still felt miserable.

I read a post today by Lizzie about her brother in law (you can read the post here) who is from the Middle East. He had never been to London before and was thrilled.  He and his colleagues were SO excited about the prospect of democracy in Egypt.  And their praise for the UK.  He loved the 'system' and how everyone knew how to join in to it.  Not something any of us would come up with really I am sure.  But how much we take for granted.  We live in a country where by enlarge people are law abiding, where we have a democracy, where we have systems that generally work.  Where we can walk safely in the streets.  Where women can work for a living and have rights.  Where there is little threat of bombs or shelling or violence.  We have healthcare and education.  We have traffic that stops at the lights.  These are all things that we just do not even take any notice of most of the time.  Or if we do, we criticise that it is all not working better.  We don't stop to think on how marvellous it is that it is working at all. 

And so I am hauling my sorry arse back into the land of thinking of the positive things in my life, and how lucky I am to live in the UK.  How lucky I am to be healthy. How lucky I am to have a healthy child.  There is much to be grateful for in this life of mine.  And I need to start appreciating what I have and stop having a big old pity party for the things I don't.

I am getting more and more excited by the Handmade Weddings idea.  Its probably being done.... but hey.  I can still think about it. And to be honest there is little I enjoy more than ideas!  Especially good ones.

I have been having this idea to do weddings.  as in handmade weddings.  and vintage type stuff for weddings.  collating a crew to do em.  event organisation. 

oh I do have too many ideas!!  I am going to talk to Kat about it this week.

sadly today was not a good day.  am bummed out totally.  fed up with everything and I really should try to come up with some favourite bits to try and make up for it.  Basically I have to work tomorrow instead of going to my old friends house in London for a big catch up dinner with girlfriends (and husbands and children) and I have been looking forward to it for ages.  I am gutted.  I am taking solace in the fact that I am helping the lovely gallery owners whose misfortune is far far greater and I am glad I can be of help. The lady owner has been diagnosed with a very serious illness, so I am stepping in tomorrow to help them both (its a couple who own it). 

Its not just that.  Its another thing too.  But I am not at liberty to say.   And it makes me so very cross I have had a large bar of chocolate, a strong coffee and a couple of glasses of wine already about it.  And I nearly blew £110 on a cardigan.  I still want to.  Talk about emotional shopping! 

and it was a busy one.  I had a lovely day hanging out with Bub (I love that he has started to use the term, hang out, as in, "come on mummy, lets we two, hang out in the sitting room together") He was mainly delightful, apart from a few "I won't"s to what we were going to dos.  How do you deal with that? "after lunch we are going to catch a bus and go to the supermarket to get some fruit" "I won't do it".  Um, "yes y you will" "I won't".  Hmmm.  I managed by at first ignoring, then distracting and finally doing this, "in 20 minutes we are going to go out and catch a bus... in 19 minutes, in 17 minutes etc... so what coat are you going to wear..." And it all went smoothly in the end.  Blimey though, children eh?

At 4.30pm I had arranged to pop round to K's house to give her the cash for the nannying she did for Bub.  Stopped a while and ended up having a beer (it's Friday, right?!).  Had a lovely time.

A good day, all in all.

Favourite bits
Bub being lovely and generally just playing, and chatting away playing with his toys and being utterly charming.
Having a beer with my pal
Getting more super green smoothie ingredients (spinach leaves, avocado, fruit)
Reading more of my book (Memoirs of a Geisha)

Speaking of which, am off to read some more of it now!

I went to Birmingham.  It was, in the end a successful day.  Hub's focus group went really well and I got high praise for my recruiting.  Bub behaved beautifully for the babysitter (!?) and I got to Birmingham on time, despite the very difficult, well, confusing ticket buying proceedure.  I am still owed the expenses for it (not a cheap trip) but have been paid for my part in the creative brainstorming session for a supermarket bank.  I slept in a hotel last night. And had a lie in til 8am - woo hoo!  Having those long train journeys gave me the opportunity to read and read and read. And I must say I am totally and utterly enjoying, Memoirs of a Geisha.  Fascinating stuff. 

Bub slept until 7.30am.  Hurrah.  Bit of a lie in,  always good.

Sorted the focus group for tomorrow night.  And it seems that nearly everyone can make it.  Brilliant.  I hope it goes OK.

Got my dress.  Oh yes must post picture of it....

In the afternoon a friend and her 3 yr old son, J came over for tea.  Bub and J got on really really well and played really happily.  Then a while later K (who is going to baby sit Bub tomorrow night) came around with her daughter D (also 3) and they ALL played well!  WOW.  And we ladies got to have a nice chat. 

Found out that I can get my train fare from Brighton so no travel expenses for me tomorrow.  Hurrah.  I hope it all goes well with Bub and K.  I told him about it, and he just burst into tears that neither Hub nor I was going to be there at bedtime.  K is a very experienced nanny who knows him well though, so fingers crossed it will be OK. Its got to be OK sooner or later  though hasn't it.

Here we go my lovelies!  Today I am writing about my favourite bits of today.  It was Valentines of course.  So we treated ourselves a bit.

Brunch at Bills.  OMI.  I have mentioned this before, but seriously folks "I WANT MY LIFE TO BE LIKE BILLS'  they have hit the nail on the head with everything as far as I am concerned.  Lovely tables, good sized portions of great ingredients cooked well.  Nice wooden tables.  Just ooh lovely.  That was our Valentines outing as Hub is snowed under with work at the moment.  But it was good. 

After that I went for a bit of a wander in town.  Not done this really for years it feels like.  I am usually in a hurry or with Bub.  And I bought myself a dress.  I don't actually have it yet as I didn't have the money on me, so I have reserved it to pick up tomorrow.  Bit of a treat.  And actually a winter dress so won't be wearing it really until next Christmas.  But its a gorgeous velvet tunic style dress in a deep but not quite black colour.  It was on sale,  £65 down from £235.  So a splurge but not a full price one!  It is utterly lovely and I hope timeless in that  - well I think every lady needs a gorgeous party frock.  And it is very evening. I hope that it will last me years and years.  And its tunic style is forgivng.  Not going to be growing out of this one!

I also treated myself to some hemp powder protein and some spirulina.  Not a treat for some lets face it, but I do like concocting my super smoothies and these feel just right for doing it.  Had one for supper.  Apple juice, half an avocado, a banana and a heaped teaspoon of both of the above.  Deelish. 

Bub and I had a rather nice relaxed afternoon with no hideous power struggles (something of a thing, of late) We all as a family went to the Dover Castle for a mid afternoon snack (late lunch following the large late breakfast!).  Hub went back to work after, but Bub and I stayed and spent a good hour or so building 'houses' out of dominoes. 

This evening I went to my Yoga class.  Jim, the main teacher is away and the class was being covered.  I was very inspired by the cover teacher.  She looked kind of like my mum.  As in elderly and very very apple shaped.  Not someone you would think would be able to do the positions she could do.  I guess she is a graduate of his yoga school and she was really really good.  I am so looking forward to being an inspiring old lady like her!

Going to work.  I love going to work in the gallery, with my book in hand, my pack lunch in bag.
I was happy in the gallery to sell various high value items there today, after days when I sat there all day with no customers at all.
I actually finished a book! Life of Pi. I am getting back into reading books.  Hurrah!
Tonight instead of Bub going to bed in his bed, we snuggled down in the spare bedroom.  He was sooo happy to be 'snuggling in' it was just so sweet. 
Bub bouncing on the bed earlier this morning. He is 3 and seems to have hit the 'I have boundless energy and need to use it up' stage.  Perhaps this lasts for a long time in wee boys.  But I swear he bounced for about 2 hours!
I loved my dinner this evening.  It was a heady mixture of home made vegetable curry mixed with green peas and brocolli, a spoon of yoghurt and a sliced of toasted polish bread.  YUM! I am pretty much enjoying being a vegetarian. The whole 21 days thing has actually changed my diet! Plus this morning I was under 60kg for the first time in um..... years.  Its not really really the point.  But its kind a nice never the less.

Today was a good day.  Bub and I went up to the Southbank (BRILLIANT PLACE - never went there when I lived in London.... ) to meet up with Amelia (who organised it as part of the Experimental Art Course she runs), Concetta and various other Experimental Artists to chat and do a really fun photography assignment.  36 photos in 36 minutes.  I think I may well have taken more than 36 but having Bub with me kind of helped me lose count.  My excuse anyway. So some favourite bits of today.

1. getting to go to London and discover how cool the Southbank was - and just going on an ADVENTURE with Bub - always such fun


2. Bub's face going on the Jubilee line tube train for the first time ever
3. Meeting Amelia and Concetta in person  - and some other lovely ladies whom I have virtually met only on Flickr; The Rachel Papers, Banky Moon (Leslie Ann) and Beth and Sarah..
4. Lots of fun taking crazy photos and getting very positive feed back on them! 

CAn't help meself.  I have already posted today.  BUT I read this by Andrea about gratitude, and how her son calls it 'remembering his favourite bits of the day' and I just thought, yes, that's it.  Its about remembering the best bits....  And that's important (especially when you had a day like I did today  - already written and deleted for just being too damn whingy 2 posts about today) SO instead.  My favourite bits of today....

Waking up with Bub cheerily saying GOOD MORNING MUMMY!

Bub and M laughing hysterically at breakfast making up songs based on "Hong Kong Pooey"  (Hong Kong wee wee',  Hong Kong bum bum, etc etc) not that the songs were funny, but their laughing was joyously delightful. 

Talking to B about her lavender filled bunting and feeling inspiration to setting up a Vintage Wedding Supplies online store.

Bub running to the park really fast

Making Easy Peasy Pizza with M and Bub (they were SOOO into it and evidently really proud of the results that I brought out of the oven to serve them for their dinner)

Nice glass of wine and a Cadburys Flake

Hot bath

Bed early.  Book soon. 

I am working out a way to go along to the Experiental Art E course photography meet up tomorrow.  I am going to have to take Bub with me.  But at least I will get to meet my fellow e coursers and Amelia which is totally cool.  The work that is being done is really exciting and despite somehow managing to fall behind with it (AGAIN! How did I manage that) I am still getting so much out of it this second time around.  I am glad it is up there for a few weeks after the course officially ends as I have some catching up to do.  What I like about it is that it opens up doors of exploration and encourages creative play  - in ways or mediums you might not have considered.  Great for souping up creative thinking and getting unstuck.

I was thinking I couldn't make it to the meet up.  And I was sad about it.  I thought I can't go because Hub has to work and if I ask he will be annoyed and say no.  So I thought I need a way to ask so that he will think its a good idea.  And so he has to work, and we will get out of his hair for the day by going on a day trip.  COOL.  We can have a nice lunch somewhere and meet the gang too. Though we may be slightly scuppered on the actual taking of photographs bit.  But I don't think its a case of half is worse.  (does that make sense?) I think its a compromise but better than not going at all.  

1. Got another day working in the gallery and D gave me some tee shirts to sew labels into, meaning I am hitting the earning targets again this week.
2. Today I heard from the insurers about the whiplash injury claim.  I wasn't going to do anything about this initially but then, seeing as we had lost the car we had just paid for, and it wasn't our fault, and for several weeks afterwards I really did have to take pain killers to sleep properly, and as legal stuff was all part of our insurance package, I decided to go ahead and wade through the claim process.  Not really expecting much to come of it.  But it turns out that the initial offer is £2400, which my lawyers are in the process of turning down as too low.  Basically they expect about £2800, or, if not, £2400 is already on the table. Considering I hadn't really held out any hope for anything.....  its all good news for me and the retreat. And while I am seriously trying hard not to count any chickens it does mean that we are likely to get something similar for Hub too.  
3. I did some yoga this morning.  I was in the house on my own for 3 hours.  Its sooooo rare. I was able to do my practice in the living room. 

Taking a tip from WHAMH, a blog I love to read, I am going to do 3 things to appreciate and love.  Today. 
1. I loved how when I did the Playgroup today, so many ladies came and complimented me on my husband (who gamely ran the cafe last week while I was away) it makes me glow with warm pride to think of him holding court with the mamas of Hanover and making everyone tea.
2. Given my mission of late, I love the Blue Dog Gallery, who have asked me to step in on Sunday and do another shift.  Aside from the money, Sunday is the shortest shift of the week.  It will hopefully be a bit busy as its the weekend and, I am sure I will still have time to sketch and think about stuff.
3. Am going to go for Hub again today, for looking so spiffing with his big duffle coat on.  Aw. 

I am thinking a lot about how i will need to proper focus on my Yoga in order to come out the other side of this course with the results I want.  This isn't casual.  I am going to have to be taking it very seriously (in a light hearted yogic sort of way of course)  I will have to make time for it.

And I have been thinking about my art. And blogging.  and how, perhaps, if I gave it the forethought it could do with, then perhaps I could make something of this too.  I mean, I love doing it, and I do it in a very unthought out sort of way. And much of it is truly my ramblings.  I just think I could create something proper nice, oh and my website too. I don't think I am generally doing my self justice. 

thoughts.  I am looking forward to the UK blogger meet up though.  That will be very exciting. And I am scheduled to meet Kat too.  Wahay.  Though so far this month my social life has been subsumed by work.  And tomorrrow I am still not getting to London to see my dear friend J and wander around galleries. 

xxM

Ah, well the Universe is working in mysterious ways.  OF COURSE I got the Wednesday night job.  WHY? I don't know.  I am very pleased I got at least one job out of it.  I am.  Its more money in the coffers and that is a GOOD THING.  But it is slightly annoying the very evening that Hub had to move his focus group to.   Which means child care costs.  I have to say I am extremely lucky to have a good friend who is also a nanny, who has a daughter the same age as Bub, who knows him well and is also looking to earn some extra cash, and who is willing and able to come around and do the putting Bub to bed routine.  Not something anyone but me or Hub has done before!!  I do have complete faith in her actually.  So, yeah, Lucky!   It will cost us though as she is a proper nanny and charges as such.  But you know.  Its my bub.  And I am happy for him to be with her in so many ways.

I went to see Jim Tarran today, he of the Yoga Teacher Training.  And it seemed to go quite well.  He was very positive about my application.  He liked my letter a lot apparently!!   Which pleases me, so I am now hoping that he will say yes to me for this year.  One of the reasons he liked my letter was that I was in it for the long term and was happy to wait until next year if necessary.  Which is true.  Though I am now very much hoping that I will get in this year!  It is going to be hard work and a big commitment for 2 years.  I need to commit about 8 hours a week apparently.  And will definately need to step up my practice as I am nowhere near strong enough to do it yet!  But we will have to see.  I am very much enjoying getting back into my practice anyway, and its all good for me whatever happens.  I have to remember that I am in it for the long long life time of a time at it now. 

A huge online shop arrived.  Its kind of weird as I have all this stuff that Hub eats, then the stuff that I eat.  And stuff that Bub eats.  I wish Hub would go the healthy route, or at least the non processed route.   But seriously left to his own devices he will never cook for himself.  He heats up.  I guess he just doesn't know how.  And is unwilling to learn.  I honestly would cook for him if he would eat what I cook, but seeing as he doesn't, or often just leaves it on the shelf and it ends up getting thrown away.  I am still trying to LET GO of the desire I have to control his eating habits.....   I wonder if  - well some of the books I read are saying we create our own reality.  Which makes me wonder.  What if I attempted to convince my inner mind that Hub was indeed a fabulously healthy eater and slim?  I may try!  I am out of all other ideas.  Bar giving up entirely.  I might just try to programme a different reality and give up on the actual one.  Or LET GO.  not give up.

Today I am writing this in the Blue Dog Gallery.  There have been no customers, but at least the lovely owners suspected that this might be the case.  Last Monday they thought it would be dead and someone came in and snapped up 2 amazing metalwork and glass chairs for £1200.  That sort of thing is worth staying open for just in case.  Me, well I just love the opportunity to earn some cash, read my book (well I just started reading a book called Life of Pi - my brother and a couple of friends said it is a good one.  Have you read it?) and luckily I can even hoss about on the internet. Get me.

The universe is being kind to my quest to earn this  year.  Next week there is the possibility of 3 supergroups, though of course, I may get none, depending on the whims of fate.  However I'd like to think that the universe will be on my side again and hopefully give the ones on Tuesday and Thursday.  Much as I would quite like to travel to Birmingham and stay over in  a hotel for an extra £100 it would be awkward for child care as the focus group we had to move is now rescheduled for that date.  And poor Bub would be in the hands of someone who he won't be used to at bedtime.  But as we are at the moment, we are going to have to lump this one.  If that is how it pans out. Hub has got some more work too, which is all fab.  But it is precarious, in that, we both have no idea how much work will or won't come in in the next few months, and last year the 99% certain job did not come in, wiping out our saved monies.  At least I had something saved.  And good thing that I am in charge of the finances!! I think we have to forge on and put our faith in said lovely and beautiful Universe.  That work will continue to come in throughout the year, and that both of us will create ways of increasing our incomes.  I have more recruitment work too. 

Tomorrow I have a meeting with the Yoga Teacher re joining the Teacher Training this year.  I have just read the email and its all about getting plugged into the whole training experience.  Which means going on retreats really.  Universe I would LOVE to go on as many Yoga retreats as he does!!  More money and time away!! Although he does do one dayers and hopefully that ought to do for now!  Although, how, universe can I justify going on a week long yoga retreat???  How can I afford it? 

My week this week is a busy one now.  Today is Gallery work and yoga class (am pleased that I am making these twice a week so far this year)
Tomorrow I am meeting up with 2 mummy friends (one with new born and one who may not be able to make it as she is already a week over due!) Then on to my Yoga Teacher Training meeting.  Then collect Bub from Nursery and hang out all afternoon, awaiting the online supermarket delivery.... Oh and I am expecting a delivery of tee shirts (I sew labels into them for cash)

Wednesday is Playgroup and French class
THursday is my rescheduled trip to the Saatchi Gallery in London
Friday I am babysitting M (3 yr old) for cash
I think I put my name down for a stall at an art fair on Saturday.... not sure if I did or not.  But I could be doing that....
I think I put my name down for a stall at an art fair on Saturday.... not sure if I did or not.  But I could be doing that....

And ....  today is my 21st day of not drinking coffee.  And I have only eaten meat once (sarnies provided at work were very un vegetarian friendly).  I have drunk alcohol 3 times (onces in anger, oops and twice for social reasons) I have had considerably less milk (no lattes helps) and lots more veggies and less bread too..... It hasn't made any difference to my weight sadly, but at least I am eating well!!  I did find myself craving craving craving a coffee yesterday.  But am glad I held out to get through my 21 days.  I think I will generally be going for the vegetarian option from now on as well.  Not dogmatically, but still.  I just am starting to want to avoid meat eating. 

Lastly, for this is a long and rambling old post.  We are thinking of getting a car.  It is a luxury as we are fine without it. But we do have the money from the payout we got from our insurance on our car being written off.  And we will only be getting a tiny cheap car.  A Panda.  Very economical.  That's the plan anyway!

And having read a book about detoxifying childhood.  I am revisiting my desire to build community in our street.  I am not sure how. How about Universe  you help me come up with some ideas?  I have thought of having a party.  Its the simplest route n'est ce pas? Or just a project visiting the neighbours and getting to know them a little bit, just like that.  Maybe another more interesting idea will come to me now? 

I am looking forward very much to attending the Do What You Love retreat.  And - though I have been workly restricted from doing the more painterly and messy tasks on the brilliant Experimental Art Course even re reading the posts Amelia does is filling me with enthusiasm and ideas.  Go Amelia.  She is fab. When I do my creative retreat, she will definately be doing a workshop or 3!  xx

Laters y'all.  Love blossoming out to y'all.  Smile!

I am glad that sometimes I can admit when I feel sh*t.  But generally I aim to be living an empowered, inspired and joyful life..... 

its a  quote.  I love it.  (I found it here)

other words I am loving right now are Thrive   &  Abundance

AH, feeling better now.  Just sorted through a few bits of admin stuff  - yeah I KNOW! - how can admin actually make me feel better? Well I just typed up all I have earnt this year (including the money I should have earnt for the work I did for hub) and I am doing REALLY WELL so far this year.  Plus there is enough for me to put away for my Creative Retreat and pay off several bills and I remembered that I paid a tax bill out of the current account which means I have saved enough tax after all.  SO  yes, am happy. Thank you very much.  Of course, I have had some wonderful help from the Universe on this, so I am pretty grateful for that.  And there is no point dwelling on the crappy bits of life really is there? All is actually well in my world.  I am about to have a nice hot bath and reflect on how well I am doing (rather than stressing about all the bits where its not going so well)  Here's to a little tad of gratitude. 

And here are a selection of my Valentines Cards.  I have a few left and gave 10 to the shop that sells some of my work.  

Its the end of a long week.  I feel today, all irritated and angry for no apparent reason.  Or I am about to get my period.  I hope so because otherwise I am feeling all irritated and angry for reasons.  And I don't want the reasons I keep thinking of to be actually true.  I prefer to think that in fact,  everything is absolutely fine and its just the way that the end of the month makes me feel.

I did have a stressful day yesterday as the focus group I am arranging for my husband had to be cancelled at the last moment, which involved a big call around and having to reschedule the whole thing.  A lot of work for - well  - no money.  Its not 'no money' at all as I am saving Hub from having to pay it out of the fee he is getting for the job he is doing.  But it was all very annoying for everyone concerned.  Well, it annoyed me anyhoo!! I do find recruiting kind of stressful as its always a worry that people will not turn up, or that they are a bit bonkers or not suitable really.  I only feel I can relax after it has happened successfully.... so the stress goes on for another week.  So see, I am being a bit of a moany old me as its not like, really really stressful or anything.  Just a bit.  And it is helping earn us some money.

Had a nice day with Bub today.  He is LOVING preschool and is really dissapointed not to be going for the next few days.  We went to a playgroup and then out to lunch with Hub (he has got me some more recruiting work!) and then strolled home really slowly, ending up visiting some friends for a cup of tea on the way (via doing a supermarket shop and going to the libary)

I am tired today.  SO am planning a nice early night.

Phew, what a few days.  Endless endless talking about mints..... blimey I nearly went mad.  It was a strange job.  Not the same as supergrouping at all.  In fact not fun.  But I can't complain at all having brought in £1000 for 3.5 days work, plus a girls night out with the other supergroupers - just 3 of us plus an interior designer friend of L's I drank and stayed out quite late, and stayed over at G's rather amazing house in - Tuffnel Park.  But it is good to be back.  And it is good to have a lot of cash to divvy up into pots!! I am tired though, am not at all used to drinkning nor staying up late, and for some reason despite the extremely comfy bed (it had jersey sheets, very very cosy) I did not sleep at all well. 

I am so glad that talking about mints for days on end is not my whole job.  ARGH!!  So my 21 days of super health has slipped somewhat.  But tomorrow is another day and I am back on that superfoods wagon!  And I have some splendid ideas for promoting my children's portraits.