getting stuff done: creating my life

Our water bill is way over average.  I didn't know this until I read a newspaper article about the high prices of water.  Apparently where we live the average water bill is £450 a year.  OUrs is £750.  I know that we have not been frugal or even consious in our water consumption, but still, I can't imagine mr and mrs average have either.  And so I started asking around and it turns out a metered property in our area with a similar sized house and 2 parents and a 5 yr old has a bill of £282 a year.  WHAT!?!
THere is something amiss.  SO I contacted Southern water and they agreed that it was odd and they are coming round to check it out next week.

In the mean time we are operating "Operation Reduce Water Use"  around here.  I am kind of glad in a way, as I have a mission in life to be more green, and this sits well in that aim.

So, while I am not prepared to give up my bath (I have a bit of an issue with cold feet and literally find it hard to sleep without a hot bath before bed) I am making sure they are only as deep as they need be (its more about heat than soaking for a long time in a hot deep bath).  Bub is geting a bath every other day, which he is fine with.  I am no longer washing up under the tap, which I knew was a bit naughty, but I had no idea just how much water it wasted (8-9 litres a minute btw) and we are also flushing less.  And I filled up some empty drinking water bottles to create a poor mans 'water hippo' in the cistern.  We don't water the garden or wash our car really, so the only other culprit could be the washing machine.  Its very old (2nd hand reconditioned  meant to be a green option) and may be overusing water.  We are going to measure it and see, it may well be worth splashing out on a new more eco version.

So that's the news here.  I am very happy with work  - just saying.  Its going very well.  And the feedback I am getting is making me very proud of myself.  I am lucky. 

Every now and again I forget why I am studying yoga.  This reminds me.

"Just for Now, without asking how, let yourself sink into stillness.

Just for now, lay down the weight you so patiently bear upon your shoulders. Feel the earth receive you, and the infinite expanse of the sky grow even wider as your awareness reaches up to meet it.

Just for now, allow a wave of breath to enliven your experience. Breathe out whatever blocks you from the truth.

Just for now, be boundless, free, with awakened energy tingling in your hands and feet. Drink in the possibility of being who and what you really are – so fully alive that the world looks different, newly born and vibrant, just for now"

~ Danna Faulds

"A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have"

its a quote.  I read it on this blog just now..

I think its an interesting idea.  I have come across it a lot.  The idea of doing things that are uncomfortable.  

I certainly have had great results in doing uncomfortable things last year.  I am now teaching. In various forms.   And that was no comfortable learning curve I can assure you. 

Question then.  What uncomfortable things can I broach this year.  I have my yoga finals for the next 10 weeks.  Culminating in exams and tests and all.  Yes I am not looking forward to all of that. Yes, that will be not comfy.  

But what else.  What else am I shying away from.  What else is on the other side of uncomfortable for me?  

And then.  There is also that which I read here, via Madelyn Mulvany

does this feed my mind, my body, my spirit
is there flow and ease
can I be myself completely in this exchange
is there an abundance of joy, a dash of irreverence, deep kindess

And LO - that is the other side of the coin.  It can't always be uncomfy.  THere must also be flow and ease.  and joy.  and kindness.  

Oh we must have a balance then.  NO shying away from either.  A bit of stretching into the uncomfy zones that have us growing and a bit of relaxing into the ease of things that rejuvenate and refresh and nurture us.    

Yesterday I realised I need to go dancing more often.  I am going to try 5 rhythms.  a couple of friends go.  I am hoping that it will a bit of both.  A new thing to try, venturing into the unknown, an adventure, a bit of a risk.  And yet, hopefully, also an amount of flowing, ease and joy in movement.  

By the way am not yet doing any gluten free ness.  THough I am not eating bread and have avoided caffeine more of late.  I am feeling more energised.  But I also have more of a sort throat and a cough.  I think I was ill and it is now working its way out in mere symptons.  Roll on   

I am not ill.  I have just been feeling slightly ill, or nearly ill, or maybe nearly better? for about a month.  Its getting a bit annoying and I am starting to wonder why it is.  I was working hard.  But I have had a chance to rest of late, and it just doesn't seem to be getting any better.  Like I said, I am not ill, and its not that bad.  I am just tired.  As in, I could nap at any time, and I could sleep from 8.30pm easily.  And I just feel  - lethargic.  I am perfectly able to muster up any energy I need to, to do stuff if I need to, but once that mustering has passed, I just want to sleep. 

I have been reading about going gluten free.  I am wondering if I need to take this step.  It feels like a vicious cycle of lethargy and no energy and then no exercise and weakness leading to less activity etc etc.  It may be just winter and the fact that I am fighting off cold after cold.  I have had slight earache, or a touch of a sore throat, or a minor bit of a cough, but no actual cold or flu or anything. Perhaps I am being really strong and healthy instead by not getting any of these things. 

I dunno.  But I would VERY MUCH like to get a bit more base level energy back in my life. 

What? gluten free? give up caffeine (am definitely cutting down) more yoga? more rest?  HOLIDAY??????? (mmmmm yes please! - somewhere hot and sunny!!)

I am struggling to start the process with my art workshops.  I know I want to.  I know I can.  So I put some time aside to think about what is stopping me and what the very next physical thing is that I need to do in order to get the ball rolling.

Before I can do that. I need to think about what the finish line is for this task.  What am I heading towards here.  What would it be for me to tick this item off my list.  What does success look like??

So in that end I thought I would spend some time imagining and writing down what My Perfect Art Workshop looks like.

I am totally writing as I think here.  So all is changeable. 

SO

I am looking at running a series of workshops.  Pop up ones, with different themes.  They are well attended by a group of likeminded souls, probably women, who love doing and making art.  I have different tutors and everyone brings their own art equipment.  I charge money.  THey make me money.  They are in a charming creative venue, perhaps the venue moves too?  There is delicious food.  And wine.  And chat.  And making and doing.  I build a reputation and from this move on to art retreats where by we go away for a few days to get creative.  They are bit like a party.  I am hostess.  I am inspired by Tea House Studios.  I don't want to run a venue.

I could start with one.  As an experiment.  A collage one? something I know how to do.  Collage and Mixed media. ON wood? 

Maybe contact all the folk I know and ask them what they want to do?  If I asked them to bring a project what would they bring? Maybe a pot luck supper? cover costs?

I devise and run and art journalling course, which begins with making our own books.  Goes through various techniques, background making, collaging, stamping. making our own stamps.  Subject matters.  Creative challenges.  Beads and tassles.  Pockets.  It lasts for 6 weeks and costs £90 each.  I get 6 - 10  people to come on it.  Each session lasts for 2.5 hours.  There are lovely yummy refreshments.  Is it an evening thing or a Saturday or Sunday morning or afternoon thing?  Maybe I could do a survey? 

I could start with a one off, introduction to art journalling workshop.  £15 each.  Maybe at Super +Super?  Or Alex's.  Or both.  Try 2 introductions to art jounalling.  How would I do an introduction?  I would show some examples and some books and we could do 1 page.  At the end of it I would have my course set up and get people to sign up.  At least they could signal their interest to me.   Hmm.  So.

The perfect one.  Is a course.  6 weeks of art making.  Me devising it.  in a nice venue.  with yummy refreshments.  Starting with an introduction to Art Journalling.  Hmmm?

ManOman its been a tough coupla weeks.  I am pooped.  Proper drained out of energies. Recently I have delivered 2 productivity workshops AND some follow ups.  It has all gone WELL.  But I am sooooo tired!!  The first one really took it out of me.  I was so nervous about it beforehand, and the energy it requires on the day is really quite phenomenal. Especially if you are also nervous about it.  You are preforming, concentrating, delivering ALL day.  Of course I did it after a slightly nerve induced bad nights sleep, and a really early start to get up to London.  Probably a slightly unnecessarily early start, born of fretting about trains not being on time and all.  It proper wiped me out.  However, the next day, instead of resting and getting an early night,  I had a big night out. I drank too much, perhaps because I was a bit too tired to be out I guess. But that didn't really help me get restorative on my arse.

The night out was brilliant at least.  Really inspiring.  I went to the launch of something called The Brightoneers which is all about making the economy in Brighton make the world a better place.  Or getting businesses to make the world a better place.  At one point Tom Nixon (one of the organisers) got on a table and delivered a rousing speech about "why we should be asking what can the economy do for us" to much cheering.  About 150 people were there.  I met a really nice bloke called Dave (also an organiser or the event it turns out ) who helps people start cooperatives, the guy who started the campaign for his community to buy Exeter Street Hall, and a man who is running the buy the Bevy campaign for his estate to buy the boarded up pub in its middle.  I was very inspired by the lot of them and bought shares in both the hall and the pub.  I love these ideas.  Exeter Street hall as already worked, and 800 people are buying the community hall and I won't ever be taken away again.  The Bevy (of Bevendean) is an even more worthy cause as its in an area that really could do with some community spirit.  In both cases though, what has been amazing and wonderful is how it has brought the communities together to fight for their cause.  I so believe that you need to feel part of a community to feel happy.  And its power to the people.  I hate it when things get closed down and made into 'luxury apartments'.  They are usually actually shoddy and overpriced and don't really help anyone but the developer.  hmmm. could rant a lot about that..  but rant over.  It was a good night.

So the next week was more delivery of workshops and 2 days of 121 follow ups for the first lot.  It went better, mainly in terms of it didn't take so much nervous energy beforehand or during.  Not that it wasn't tiring, but just not quite so exhausting and draining.  I am really enjoying it, though I can see, that this work is proper hard and you cannot do too many days of it in a row.  My reserves are down to very very low.

So today I wasn't working.  Oh thank god.  I pootled.  I had a long hot bath.  I gave myself a pedicure.  I listened to radio 4. I COOKED.  Oh I love cooking.  I find it so so relaxing and grounding.  Chopping up vegetables.  sigh.  And I managed to recreate a dish I used to make all the time, and wasn't quite sure I remembered.  Its a kind of vegetarian north african stew, with root veg; carrots, parsnips, sweet potatoes and onion, with cumin, chilli and garlic.  Its super nourishingly delicous.  AND I made some of my favourite ever risotto (fennel, tomato, beefstock and goats cheese.  It ROCKS.)

SO tonight I was meant to be driving up to Felixtowe to a mini art retreat.  I am instead heading up tomorrow morning.  I am still so so very drained.  I wouldn't be safe on the roads and while I could have done it, it would have been over doing it.  And I need to recuperate not down a hypercharged coffee and hit the road.. NO.  Early night. Get my energies back.

I shall be heading off in the morning and in the daylight for 2 days of art making amongst some fabulous friends.  SO looking forward to it.   2 days of art.  Now that will bring some sparkle back.  Hurrah!