Embrace Life!

I wanted to share this quote with you written by Vincent Van Gogh, the Dutch painter, and son of a pastor.

It always strikes me, and it is very peculiar, that when we see the image of indescribable and unutterable desolation-of loneliness, of poverty and misery, the end of all things or their extreme-then rises in our mind-the thought of God.

Between 1181-1890, Van Gogh painted 900 paintings and only sold one. He only became famous after his death. Some of his most famous paintings were Starry Night and Sunflowers. What a gift he was given and what focus it must have taken to paint 900 works of art.


I heard a message recently that said we often hear to put God first in our lives, but rarely do we hear to make God the center of our lives. Just as Van Gogh attended to every little detail in his paintings, so should we allow God to be the center of every little detail in our lives.

We should think carefully on Jesus and lock our eyes upon Him. According to this message I heard, it should be a laser like focus. Between the quote and the message, the two went hand in hand to me. God should be the center of everything. Even in the midst of an economic crisis, God has to be center. At work, God must be our focus in order for us to do our very best and witness to others. In our homes, God has to be our foundation for strength, compassion and leadership.

God is always there, even when it seems He is not. Turn you eyes upon Jesus.



Embrace Life,
Ginger

Today on the front page of the Charlotte Observer, there was an interesting article about texting. "Could So Much Texting Spell Trouble"?

There are concerns on both sides of the issue. It certainly is convenient, and helps us to keep in touch with our teens in ways my parents never imagined.

However, many teens are losing their ability to write and spell correctly in addition to more serious concerns such as texting while driving or text bullying. What do you think?

According to this article, on the national average, 2,272 texts are sent each month by teens with cell phones. My husband is convinced that our daughter definitely is not bringing down the national average!


Over 75 billion text messages are sent in a month...mind boggling! Does anybody talk anymore? Does anyone write a thank you note or letter anymore?

Call me old fashioned, but I still love to get a card or note in the mail. The beauty of cursive writing seems to be a dying art, unless we keep using it and pass it along. It's so personal and speaks so much about a person's uniqueness. Thoughts on this?

Texting I guess is really no different than when when used to stay on the phone all the time until our ears turned a nice shade of red and our parents were insisting that we get off! In our house, we had one phone. I remember stretching that cord as far as it would go into our one and only bathroom, shut the door to talk friends and family! The only plan then was not to pick up if you heard someone else on the line..boy was I glad when there were no more party lines! Does Mayberry ring a bell?

I guess you could say I was late bloomer...just learned to text this summer. It certainly does have its advantages. My award will be the slow, but steady text award. My daughter and husband just crack up at my efforts!

Oh well, on another note, this week is teacher appreciation week! This morning each of my students brought in 3 flowers. One for me, one for my assistant and one for our pal teacher ( the literacy facilitator...she works with many students). My room mom arranged our flowers into beautiful vases for us to enjoy this week! Tomorrow morning the PTA is serving us breakfast...can't wait. They always treat us like royalty.



Final note on texting! A good friend of mine puts a positive spin on texting by sending her son a text bible verse each day! Great idea...pass it on!

Embrace each day,
Ginger :)

Our story and journey is one of hope and healing. No doubt, God had a plan all along. Now there is a facility in Virgina which would have been so much closer to home, but that was not in the plan.

There are wonderful facilities all over the country that treat eating disorders, but Remuda Ranch proved to be the best place for our daughter.

When we returned home to Charlotte late that Sunday night, I knew I had to get up and go back to work the next day...there was no other option. Life had to keep moving. I had to keep busy or I would go crazy.

It took every ounce of energy I had to get up, drive to work and pretend as if nothing different was going on in my life. Just like our little girl, we masked the situation out of shame and guilt. We felt like we had failed miserably as parents. Only a handful of people knew.

The next 60 days went by at a snail's pace. I counted the days to our visit..writing letters every other day and sending cards of encouragement. She was allowed to call us a few times a week after the first week and called once the first week. What a relief when we heard her voice and she wasn't angry or bitter, but thanked us for what we had done.

Those visits were precious to us. Treasured time. We were allowed usually 4 hours in the morning to visit on site. The rest of the day, we spent driving in the desert, healing, viewing sites we had never before seen. Absolutely beautiful and serene.

There were no distractions. Just alone time with God.


All of these pictures are ones we took while there.

You may recall in an earlier post I mentioned the cactus and how I thought it was ugly. As time passed, I changed my mind. In the Sonora Desert, the saguaro plants are everywhere. In March, when we first got there, I was amazed at their size and texture.


The saguaro has a reputation for being a plant that is easily damaged, but hard to kill. It has a will to survive. When we went back in May, I noticed that it had changed. It had beautiful, creamy, white 3 inch flowers with yellow centers.

So symbolic of our journey in my eyes. When we picked up our daughter on May 31, 2006, we knew she had changed. She had a will to live. She had bloomed again.

Just like the cactus, her her life began again under the shelter of a "nurse" tree that provided a shaded moister habitat for new life.

We were so thankful for our daughter's life being saved. We knew that God had a plan for her and that all things happen for good.

We also knew when we returned home it would be an adjustment. There would be ups and downs and slips. There were. Over the next six months, once again life as we knew it almost came to a screeching halt. In addition to ED trying to wiggle back in, it was taking a major toll on our marriage. Spiritually, financially, and emotionally we were spent and unfortunately we started to check out.

T.D. Jakes once said and I'm paraphrasing, "Difficult times will either push you together or pull you apart." It almost pulled us completely apart.

Once again, God had other ideas. God really spoke to both my husband and me during a Sunday morning message that God changes you little bit by little bit. I remember that Sunday, praying that God would heal our family and make us whole again. Evidently that prayer was being lifted by others in our family in other places because that very week, things changed.

Today our daughter is doing very well. She still struggles from time to time, but is so much healthier and happier. Our marriage is better than it has ever been, not perfect, but much better. One of the biggest lessons I learned from this journey is that I am not in control. Everything is is God's time...not my time. This is a picture of Katie and Tony..the loves of my life.


If you know of someone that is in need of help or you need help, please contact
NEDA to find help in your area.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the lord, "plans to prosper you,
and not harm you, plans to give you hope
and a future."

Thank you for allowing me to share our story. Just know that God has a plan for your life. Allow him to work through those imperfections. Jesus knows your hurt. He has experienced every possible pain that you and I could feel. He is there for you when you are hurting.

Embrace the hope of Jesus Christ,
Ginger

To bring awareness to Eating Disorders, I've been sharing our family's story with anorexia. Hopefully our story will bring hope to others as National Eating Disorders Awareness Week approaches.

When I left off yesterday, I shared with you that I finally was beginning to have a sense of peace. Since August of 2005 it had been an emotional roller coaster day in and day out. Now here we were March 30, 2006 boarding a plane and heading for Phoenix, AZ to place our daughter in treatment.

After a very long flight we arrived, got our rental car and drove another hour to a charming little desert town called Wickenburg. Until now I had never heard of this place before in my life. Quite frankly I never really thought the desert was all that pretty and thought the cactus plant was ugly!

We checked into the small little Best Western there and stayed the night. Our bodies were spent. After yet another restless night, we got up early hoping for the best. We had to be at the check in office of Remuda Ranch pretty early which was located there in Wickenburg.




I must say we were treated so well. They know when you walk in, you are suffering looking for help. One promise after another was being made by our daughter to eat if we would just forget all this and go back home. Part of me was buckling and honestly at times I was weak, fighting back tears, wanting to go hop in that rental car and take her back home, knowing all along that would be the worst thing in the world to do.


After all the necessary papers were signed, we then followed a lady out to the house where "K" would be staying for the next 60 days. She would be under the care of primary care doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors and nurses 24/7. Did I mention that this was at Remuda Ranch, a Christian Eating Disorders facility?



Once we got in the house, I was blown away at the level of care she received right off the bat! Immediately checking her vitals and taking care of us. We only had a few minutes with "K" before we were taken for a couple of sessions ourselves, giving us an overview of what every minute of her day would be like for the next 60 days.

My heart was already breaking just knowing that we wouldn't get to see each other on Easter and Mother's Day, but God had worked all that out. We were allowed to visit one weekend...Easter weekend. Family week came just around Mother's Day. Everything according to what we learned that day was going to work out so we'd be able to see her at least twice.

I felt such a sense of peace, until we had to say goodbye. I couldn't let her go. Tony couldn't let her go. Sick to my stomach would be an understatement, but I knew that she was going to get well.

That night after we checked in to a hotel just outside of Phoenix, my body ached as if I had the flu. In my dreams that night, what little I slept, all I could see was her little face with tears streaming down asking "why"?

The next day, we flew back to Raleigh...both our families were there and the flight was a lot less. Emptiness filled the house where there had always been lots of laughter.

We all knew she was being taken such good care of and that she was going to come back to us happier and healthier. "K" was in a place where she could rest, find hope again and peace.

Psalm 121:1-2
I lift my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lod,
the maker of heaven and earth

Ginger

For those that have been following over the last few days, I have been sharing our family's story about ED...an eating disorder that really took a toll on our lives. I'll pick up today where I left off.

Up until just a few years ago, I would ride by homes and think...WOW! They've got it made, a beautiful home, perfect family, great life. Never really appreciating what I had. I was too focused at times on what I didn't have to fully recognize how blessed I was. I'm sure that from the outside looking in, it probably appeared to others that we had the perfect family and great life too. Looks however can so often be deceiving...all that glitters ain't gold.

After our last visit with the pediatrician, she convinced me that we needed to seek professional help. This was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do...admit there was a real problem. To begin with I had never in my life seen a psychologist other than the ones that had worked in the schools where I had taught, but we knew we needed help and fast.

From the outside looking in... no one could see the pain we were feeling as we learned from the psychologist that our daughter was deep in the throes of an eating disorder and going down hill fast. Medication wasn't even an option at this point to level the anxiety, because her body wouldn't be able to metabolize it.

From the outside looking in... no one could see the total frustration my husband and I would exchange, both verbally and with glances, as we begged, coaxed, and argued with our daughter for her to eat at dinner time.

From the outside looking in...no one could see the shame and guilt we felt and put on our daughter for doing this to her body and to us. Why?

From the outside looking in...no one could see that it wasn't about the food at all, but rather ED was serving a purpose in our daughter's life...very legitimate needs for her that we didn't understand at the time.

From the outside looking in...no one could see the side effects that were masked during the day. Her beautiful olive complexion had now turned a pasty gray. Our daughter's long thick hair would fall out in handfuls. Extreme hot and cold were the norm...mostly cold. Dressing in layers of warm clothing. Her nails became brittle and skin extremely dry. Because of her low weight, her body began to try and protect itself by growing baby fine hair on the trunk called lanugo. Due to lack of nutrition, her digestive system was no longer functioning properly. Rapid heart beats and severe headaches would make her dizzy to the point of almost passing out.




From the outside looking in...no one could know that just like having a new baby, I would get up three maybe four times a night just to make sure my little girl was breathing.

From the outside looking in...no one could see and know the pain we felt after three months of intense therapy week after week and sometimes twice a week with no change.

From the outside looking in...no one could see the heartbreak we felt when Dr. Combs said to us "If she had cancer, you'd find the best treatment possible and get her there, if you don't she will die."

From the outside looking in...no one could see how my heart was breaking in two the day I had to withdraw our daughter from middle school, from the only life she knew, and prepare to take her all the way across the country to a treatment facility that was supposed to be the best for children.

From the outside looking in... no one could see and understand the worry my husband and I were experiencing, wondering how in the world we were going to afford this.

From the outside looking in...no one had a clue what we were about to do, but I was finally feeling a sense of peace that there was hope and on March 31, 2006 the recovery began.

Because we were so numb at the time, I don't even think we realized that God was leading the way. As I said in an earlier post, there is hope and there is healing because we have God as the great physician.

Embrace Hope!
Ginger

According to Rick Warren, "Your problems are not punishment; they are wake up calls from a loving God." I know this now, but in December of 2005, you couldn't convince me of this.

Like any mother, I tried not to react when my 8th grade daughter announced to us after a family beach trip in August of 2005, that she was going on a diet. The "D" word wasn't used often in our house..not dieting people. We love to eat! I looked straight at her and simply stated "moderation". Eat right...fruits, vegetables, lean meats. I tried to take a very "health class" approach. All the while, I'm wondering...why the sudden interest in dieting and exercise!

Later it came to me, school was starting back and she wanted to be thinner and look more like the skinny girls in her class. Mind you, she wasn't a big girl, just going through many of the changes middle school girls go through. It dawned on her she wasn't rail thin.

Unfortunately it became an obsession. Thirty minutes of exercise turned into an hour, an hour turned into two. My den from time to time looked like a small room at the Y. Upstairs late at night, I would hear her exercising again after we had gone to bed. She started to cut back on meals. The weight fell off her 4'11" frame, and the compliments started flowing from the skinny girls. Just what she wanted to hear! Approval.

She continued her slide down the slippery slope...the tip of the ice berg. Our daughter lost 16 lbs from August-December. She was really good at masking this.
After a couple of trips to the pediatrician's office, we knew it was time to check into getting help. A couple of years before, God placed us in the hands of one of the most caring, Christian pediatricians, Dr. Brockman and she guided us through a long and difficult process of getting professional help.

At this point, all I could do was question "Where did I go wrong?" Life as we knew it was no more. Our little girl was changing physically and emotionally. Everyday was like an emotionally roller coaster. ED had found a way in, unpacked and became very comfortable.

I will share more of our journey tomorrow. Signs of anorexia and steps we took to get help.

This verse helped us during so many dark times.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Embrace each day and the ones you love,
Ginger

How many of you used to sing along with Karen Carpenter on the radio? I know I did! She was one of my all time favorite singers. I used to love to sing along to "Close to You" and " Rainy Days and Mondays." Not only was she beautiful to me, but I loved standing in front of the mirror with my hair brush pretending to be her as I sang "We've Only Just Begun."

She was best known for her mellow vocal performances and ballads, but she was also an accomplished drummer. Karen Carpenter had such a gift from God...her voice. What a range. True musical talent. Until ED.


Who's ED you might ask. ED is who came along and took Karen's life at the young age of 32. ED is short for eating disorder or at the time when Karen Carpenter died, anorexia nervosa. She died of heart failure just before her 33rd birthday on February 4, 1983. Not many people were even aware of what it really was at the time.

According to everything I've learned about her battle, she dieted obsessively because she felt she had no control or very little over her life. This is very typical of young women and now young men with eating disorders, although not the only cause or reason. 90-95 percent of anorexia sufferers are girls and young women. Between 5-20% will die from this disorder. Anorexia has one of the highest death rates among any mental health condition.

Karen Carpenter's death brought awareness to anorexia and bulimia. My hope is that over the next couple of weeks, during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I too can bring awareness and understanding to this so often misunderstood disease.



You see, ED came as an unwanted guest to our home back in 2005. ED came just like that family member that you think will only stay for a couple of days. Instead, ED unpacked, stayed and refused to leave.

Over the next few days, I will share with you the warning signs of this most unwanted guest; how to reach out to others in your time of need; how I would probably do things differently; where to turn for help; how to allow God to be ultimately in control in this situation...this being the most important!

I pray that if you know of someone that has a daughter or son and they are suffering in silence as I was, to please encourage them to check in over the next couple of weeks just to know that they are not alone. What I would have given to have had another mom to have turned to in my time of hurt and need.

Psalm 143:1-2
O Lord, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
Do not bring your servant into
judgement,
for no one living is righteous before
you.

Embrace the ones you love and all the imperfections of life, knowing that God is faithful and good . He is the great physician and healer. I believe this because I have lived it. There is hope and there is healing in Christ our Lord.

Ginger

Happy Valentine's Day! Although I love flowers, especially yellow roses, and dinner out at our favorite restaurant, this year we've decided to keep Valentine's Day simple. A nice quiet dinner at home, with the best chef in town cooking, my husband.

Later this week, Tony came up with the idea to cook dinner for Katie and me as a Valentine's Day gift! Suits me just fine. He's a great cook. The plans are to grill steaks, if the weather holds up...right now it's looking a little "iffy". Grilled steaks topped with bleu cheese and a side of seasoned vegetables is sounding really nice right now.



Boosting the economy by going out would probably be a good thing, but we decided to boost our budget instead. The cost of a steak dinner at a really nice restaurant would just about buy groceries for our family of three for a week. This simple, yet sweet idea of cooking dinner meant a lot to me.

Whatever your plans may be, simple or elaborate. Big or small. Embrace your Valentine's Day with the ones you love.

Song of Songs 2:11-13
See! the winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their
fragrance.
Arise, come my darling;
My beautiful one, come with me."

Ginger :)

Night before last I was cooking chicken for a salad...didn't have time to change clothes, so I quickly grabbed my grandma's blue checked apron, white pocket and white apron strings and quickly tied it around me!

I use it pretty often when we've got company coming and I don't want to mess up my clothes or in a hurry and don't have time to change!

That was one of the original purposes for the apron, to protect the cook's clothes. Apron comes from the French word "naperon", for napkin or small table cloth.



I remember my grandma wearing an apron for several different reasons. There were probably more, but these are the ones I remember. Drying hands, wiping the counter, wiping sweat from her brow as she cooked and picking up figs in her yard. I hardly remember my grandma without an apron tied around her waist. She was always in the kitchen, a true southern lady and great cook. Every Sunday after church when I was growing up, we'd go visit, and Grandma would always have a made from scratch strawberry short cake on the counter ready for us to sample.


When she died, I was 21 years old, preparing for my wedding. She had 11 children and more grandchildren that I could count! Needless to say, I counted it a blessing to get two of her aprons and a few of her other handmade items.



My mama also wore aprons and still does from time to time. Quite often she would wear them in the garden when picking a mess of peas early in the morning. After we helped shell, she would take the hulls in her apron and throw them over the fence to the cows. When I was very young, I remember her putting tobacco plants in the pockets of her apron when it was "setting out" time. Cherished memories.

Maybe I wear the apron to protect my clothes when I'm cooking or maybe I wear the apron to keep me founded in the roots I'm so thankful and grateful to have.

Embrace your strings!
Ginger

I just want to say thank you to my blogging and teaching friend Betsy for honoring me with the "Friends Award". You are so kind Besty! Besty inspired me with her beautiful and encouraging blog to start my own and I've had so much fun learning all about the wonderful world of blogging!




The "Friends Award" recognizes that:

"These blogs are exceedingly charming.
These kind bloggers aim to find friends
and be friends. They are not interested
in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that
when the ribbons of these prizes are cut,
even more friendships will be propagated.
Please give more attention to these writers.
Deliver this award to eight more and include
this cleverly written text into the body of
the award."

Please take some time to read these most inspiring blogs!

Christy
Alicia
Beth
Beth
Dahpine
Tricia Anne
Nicki
Beth

I hope you enjoy these as much as have! They are all such wonderful blogging friends.

Embrace the Day!
Ginger :)

I love the lyrics and sounds of contemporary Christian music! These songs are very uplifting and touch the fiber of our lives with their words. However, every now and then, nothing really speaks to my heart and soul like the old hymns. There are many favorites. Growing up in a small Baptist church, hymns and gospel music were part of my Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night upbringing...so glad it was. Then, it didn't mean all that much, just routine. Even in my early adult years the words didn't really resonate with me as they do now.

This morning I was reading the words of Annie S. Hawks, author of the poem, that later became the hymn I Need Thee Every Hour. During her routine household chores that June day, the words came to her and she began to write. She couldn't imagine how anyone could live without Jesus, no matter the situation.

The words to this song are just as meaningful and relevant today as when they were originally written. This poem describes just how much we need Jesus during the good times and the bad, which is why Annie wrote it to begin with.

I need Him every hour, because Jesus knows my joy, my happiness, my hurt, my pain, my sorrow, my fear, and my disappointment. Why? Because He too felt all the same emotions. The author couldn't imagine not having God in her life every hour. I can't either. He is a most gracious Lord.

She presented this poem to Rev. Robert Lowery, her pastor, and he began to compose the tune on the organ and added a chorus for this cherished and most treasured hymn.

I need Thee every hour,
Most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine
Can peace afford.

I need Thee every hour,
In joy or in pain;
Come quickly and abide
Or life is vain.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee.

-Annie S. Hawks
What a comfort to know that we have Jesus to turn to during all the times in our life...even the chores.

Ginger :)

In an earlier blog I shared with you a few thoughts that came from our church newsletter back home. I found another one that I thought was simple, yet very insightful. This one you've probably seen, but definitely worth reading again.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Noah's Ark


1) Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

2) Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, God might ask you to do something really big.

3) Don't listen to critics-do what has to be done.

4) Build on high ground.

5) Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.

6) Remember: we're all in the same boat!

7) When it gets really deep, don't sit there and complain-shovel!

8) Stay below deck during the storm.

9) Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.

10) If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.

11) Remember that the woodpeckers inside are a bigger threat than the storm outside.

12) Don't miss the boat!

13) No matter how bleak it looks, there is always a rainbow in the other side.

14. Stop what you're doing, and do what God says!
I don't recall the author of this...if you remember or know, please share.

It looks like it is going to be a beautiful day!

Embrace Your Saturday,
Ginger

Friday...You gotta love it! You know it's coming if you can just hang on. I always look forward to just relaxing on a Friday night with my family after a busy week.

First...order a pizza! We love the new place just around the corner from us called Donatos. The pizza is always delivered fresh, hot and delicious.



Next get the movie and popcorn ready! We rented Fireproof last week and really enjoyed it...not sure what we'll watch tonight.


Last, but certainly not least, settle down on the couch with a nice warm blanket and pillow and hope to stay awake for the ending!

Embrace your Friday!
Ginger :)

Christy from Between Here and Home is a great blog that I started following! She recently participated in a letter game that sounded like a lot of fun! She gave me the letter "J". My job was to come up with 10 things I love that begin with "J". At first I thought this letter might be a challenge, but it really was fun and easier than I thought. Here goes:

1) Jesus..My Lord and Savior. I can't imagine my life without having the peace of knowing that I have Jesus to turn to daily.

2) Jan...My beautiful, talented sister; wife and mother of two and horse lover. This is a picture of Jan and her daughter Callie. Jan is such a blessing in my life..my closest friend.




3) Java...Can't live without my morning cup or two! The bolder the better.

4) James Taylor...I love his smooth sound.

5) Jazz...love it!

6) Jiffy Cornbread with jalapeno peppers and cheddar cheese...delicious with a bowl of chili on a cold day like today!

7) Jammies...I love my comfy pajamas!

8) Job...a challenging, creative job! Keeps me on my toes! So thankful to have it in this economy!

9) June and July...I love summer when I can have a little time off to spend with family and friends and just relax! Love to go to the beach for a little R&R.

10) Journey...I'm on one!

Embrace the J's in your life. If you're interested in doing this, let me know and I'll give you a letter!

Ginger :)

I don't know about you, but sometimes I have a really hard time forgiving myself for things I know I shouldn't do! No! I don't really beat myself up over the extra piece of dark chocolate or not walking 3 days a week...somehow I always seem to have a really good reason...excuse! Good for the heart...too cold outside!

I'm talking about the hard stuff. Snapping at my family. Not spending enough time with my family. Complaining about things when I should be counting my blessings! This is what you'd call being transparent I guess...letting you see the real me. Lately I've been swamped with work, tired with traveling, and a little on edge, and yes it does get the best of me after a while.

Last night I didn't sleep well thinking about how I really needed to be more kind and caring to the ones I love. They were quick to forgive my shortcomings, but I couldn't seem to forgive myself.

This quote by Mark Twain made me realize how important forgiveness is not only to others but to ourselves.

Forgiveness is the fragrance
that the violet sheds on the
heel that has crushed it.

Romans 3:23-24 This verse gives me hope that all things can be made new.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ.

Thankfully each day is a new day in Christ and I can be renewed in Him. I am forgiven. He is the God of second chances.

Ginger