Going Crazy and Having Fun

In the past few days I have talked to two friends and was given reports from both of major life events. Both were hard situations, one with a happy ending and one with a sad one. I have shed tears over both their stories...tears of joy and tears of grief. And I can't seem to shake either of the feelings as I am overwhelmed by emotion tonight. I am just trying to understand the why? Why does life have to be so hard? Why do some people get happy endings and others get the depths of despair? Why when someone is living so right and with so much faith, hope and charity in all they do, are they denied blessings they so desperately want and deserve? And why, when others do the exact same are they taken to those depths of despair and then pulled out to find joy and elation waiting for them? I know that these are questions that don't have answers and I know that it's silly to even ask. But I can't help but wonder and as I wonder I can't help but marvel at the faith that both of them still have despite their struggles and their pain. Faith has never come easy to me, yet as I see the faith of one of these friends in particular, I am comforted. Not because I know life will be easier, but because I know that Heavenly Father put people and situations in my life that I can learn from and grown from. For those people, I will be forever grateful. From those situations, I will try to learn and grow. And from all of this, I will still ask why, but not with an angry or bitter feeling, simply with compassion. Why isn't there something more I can do? Why can't I share her pain?
I know we all signed up for this life. We were ready and willing to face the challenges that were placed in our path and we were expected to be tested and tried. Like I said, I know all this, but I still struggle to understand it. And while I know I will probably always struggle with that, I also know that I will always have people to look up to and love. And while I feel guilty for gleaning something good from something so sad, I will say that I have been able to learn something from both of these stories, and most specifically from one of these friends. So to that friend; thank you for your faith. Thank you for your hope. Thank you for your smiles, albeit smiles of sadness right now. But most of all, thank you for you. You are a shining light in my life, and I am so grateful to have you in it. I only wish that we had more time together, because I can't even begin to express how much I look up to and love you. You are amazing and I have no doubt that you will receive your happy ending soon!

I feel a little guilty that I haven't posted about our ward's primary program yet, but I am trying to remedy that problem and take a minute tonight to share my feelings on one of the most touching experiences in recent memory. The primary program is always one of the best meetings of the year; there is always a different spirit in the chapel on the days where children get to be part of the program. This year was no exception, except for the fact that I was more involved in this program than I have ever been before and also that I love all of the children in our ward more deeply than I have any other year.
When we heard that the theme for this year was "I Am A Child of God" our primary presidency decided to place a special focus on helping the children internalize the topic. I absolutely loved this theme from the get go. The simple and profound truths that are so apparent in just uttering those words, are a beautiful source of peace in my life and I hope that those simple and profound truths have been passed on to the children in our ward. We began preparing for this program at the beginning of the year by asking each child in the primary to take a turn giving a "Royal Talk" about specific things in their life that they were doing to stand tall as a Child of God. We saved each and every one of those talks and then used them to write our program. The end result was a success. The primary children in our ward spoke from their hearts and bore their own little testimonies through their words and their actions this year. To top that off, we have an absolutely fabulous chorister who has taught our teeny-tiny primary to sing like they were twice their actual size. It was so great to see everything come together perfectly and to see the testimony borne through song and words. I have to admit that my eyes were moist for most of the program and that I got more than one funny look from kids who were wondering why I was crying. But I wasn't wondering. I was beyond touched for the beautiful spirits that I saw on the stand. One of my favorite songs from the program was "If the Savior Stood Beside Me" and as they sang this song, I was completely overwhelmed as I could feel His spirit there standing beside each and every one of them. I know that He loves them. He cheers for them. He supports them in their good times and grieves with them in their sorrows. They bore testimony to me that day time and time again of just how amazing they are and just how much the Savior loves them and me and everyone else. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to serve in Primary and to learn from these children every day I spend with them. And I am also so grateful for the tender mercies that allowed me to forget about the stress and details of planning this program and instead let me get lost in the sweet spirit and simple joys that it created.
I thank everyone in our ward who was part of this program, from teachers, to pianists, to sign language experts, to parents, to ward members who are all able to feel a child's love and return that love through thoughts, actions and service. But most of all, I thank our primary children for so many things. For being able to invite a spirit unlike any other into a meeting. For tying so hard to be good examples. For working so hard to memorize their parts--over half of our kids had their part memorized (and I don't think it had anything to do with the candy bar bribery;-) For being brave enough to play the piano in front of the whole ward (thanks Jessica). For smiles, and giggles and wiggles. For letting me love them and for loving me in return. And for being an example to me. I truly work in the greatest place to be in the church and I know that I have been blessed by my association with these beautiful children of God.

If anyone in my house should crave bedtime on Saturday night...it's me. After all, I rise at the crack of dawn (or usually before) to run way more miles than is natural, spend all day racing and running from one kids activity to another all the while being the glue that holds everyone and everything together. To top that off, I am always responsible for something on Sunday (and tomorrow its a biggie) that should make me take the time to get a few extra zzz's. But I never do. It's true, come Saturday night, I am utterly exhausted. My eyelids are heavy, my body is sluggish, and my mind is never at it's sharpest. Yet somehow, I am always reluctant to go to bed because I love the quiet and peace in my house on Saturday night. It's one of my favorite times of the week. I love knowing it's me time and that I can do whatever I feel like.. and the truth is that I usually get more done on Saturday night than on most other weeknights combined. It's crazy I know, and I don't think that I could ever explain what it is that keeps me and my drooping eyelids from my soft pillow, but week after week, I know that my Saturday night is like an old friend, that will always be there waiting for me to breathe in it's peace and serenity and enjoy the moments that were made just for me.

and for those of you wondering what I am talking about here is a lovely definition for you!
verb (used with object)(The object being running!)

3.	to make gradually smaller toward one end.

4.	to reduce gradually.

Dear Becca,

Do you remember those last two weeks of summer? You and your family had gotten in all your fun and vacations and you were starting to feel burned out. And that's not a problem. After all, you had spent the past two months in high-energy mommy mode. In fact, I would have been surprised if you could have lasted the whole summer without wishing for some semblance of schedule and routine to return to your life.

Now that school is here, I do have one question for you: Did you forget about me? Did you forget that I come to visit you every fall and take away any hope of having a normal schedule? Did you forget that four days a week, it would be my job to occupy your life? Did you forget that this year you willingly signed up to more than double your intake of me? Did you forget that I love to help you spend countless hours in the car? Or even better, countless hours wrestling Sarah? Did you forget that I am just a part of your life that is not going away? I am always going to be around for you, your husband and your kids and it is my job to take create chaos for them that directly affects you. Now I don't mean to be mean or to take total control of your life, but I really thought that I needed to send you this little note as a reminder of things to come so that maybe one day you wont forget about me.

Now, don't worry, I don't feel bad about being forgotten, I just think that maybe it's time for you to make a mental note, that I will be back to visit full force in the spring....and the fall.....and the next spring...and the next fall....and.........well let's just hope you get the picture!

Love-
Soccer

Ben was so excited to start preschool this week. He was so cute the night before as he got ready and laid out all his clothes and shoes and backpack. The trouble is the kid is so tall and skinny that when he put on his new elastic waistband shorts--his favorite apparel--they would hardly even stay up, so he had to have a last minute change of clothes. Despite that, he was ready to go more than an hour before school even started. He couldn't wait to walk out the door and ride his bike to the first day. His school is just down the street from our house and he has the greatest teachers. We're excited for the year that he has in store for him:


I love that kid more than he knows and I am thrilled to the simple pleasures he finds from the little things in his life.