Going Crazy and Having Fun

I love Halloween--not the whole beg candy off your neighbors then make yourself sick part, but the dress up and have fun part! I love figuring out costumes with my kids and seeing how much fun they have dressing up. This year, I had a bunch of the cutest kids around:
After 3 or 4 different costumes, tons of indecision, and a great find on the clearance rack, we ended up with my favorite knight in shining armor!

But my personal favorite costume of the day was this:

Last week was yet another one filled to the brim with all sorts of fun things for our family. On Thursday we went to Cornbelly's with my brother, Greg, and his family. Due to the frazzled state of my life right now I of course forgot the camera, so sorry, no pictures. I will have to say, I enjoyed Cornbellys a lot more last year, that I did this year, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I was done being a mom long before the day was over and I just wasn't in the right place mentally to be involved in a fun family activity. Despite my bad attitude, the kids really did have a blast and are already looking forward to going again next year!


After the zoo we went up to my mom's house for ourHalloween party, complete with our spooky dinner that she likes to have every year. This year we unintentionally had an eyeball theme. The kids loved helping prepare some of the food with grandma, and we all loved laughing at how gross it looked! Cindy did a really cute craft where we made bats out of pumpkins and everyone had a great time. It really was a fun family party.
My mother never ceases to amaze me with all the fun things she plans for her grand kids. The day before this party, she came to my house and helped us make a skeleton out of PVC pipe. We named him Mr. Bones and he looks so cute sitting on our front porch. (Maybe I will remember to take a picture some time soon). Perhaps my favorite thing about the holiday parties my mom hosts, is that she always gives my kids a new book at each and every one. This year, we got Frank was a Monster Who Wanted to Dance. My kids all love it and we have already read it more times than I can count. I have so many fun holiday themed books around and I owe my mother a huge thank-you for all of them. I love how much she does to make my kids love to read.


Later that evening, Madeline lost a tooth while she was at a friends house and then we ended the night at the ward chili cook off. It was so great to not have to cook dinner since I feel like we are constantly going 100 miles per hour every day around here lately. I am actually really looking forward to a chance to slow down a little bit for the fall, but we'll see if that actually happens;-)

Some of you may remember my posts from last April that all had a similar theme--cars. Well, let me say here they come again. After all the stress and time and energy the Highlander has brought into our home, we have decided it's time to help it find a new home. I mentioned in the previous post that we went to Price to see Craig's parents last weekend. The real reason we went down was because Craig had put a lot of time into helping his parents pick out a new car and as a thank you they decided they wanted to give him their old one, a Dodge Intrepid. That's right, we just got a new car---for free--how crazy is that? Now before you think we're too spoiled, know that it is nothing fancy and it is 10 years old. So now we are the proud owner of not one, not two, but three cars, and we decided that one of them has to go. Sadly (at least for Craig), we decided to get rid of his Highlander, or what I used to call his mistress. He has put so much time and energy into making that car look good and meet his standards that he has seriouslly formed an emotional attachment to it. He is sad to put it up for sale, but it really is the most logical and responsible choice for us. Really the decision to put it up for sale was a no brainer--why keep a car with a payment, when we can do away with that payment and put that money to better use elsewhere. So if anyone knows someone who needs a new car take a look at give us a call--I promise you won't find a used car that has been taken better care of anywhere else on the market!

One day, I might just learn to stay put, but until then, if there is a day off, I want to be doing something fun and exciting! For UEA we decided to go up and visit my sister Heather. She lives farther away from me than I would like and I miss hanging out with her more than she will ever know. Because my parents are in between the two of us, we don't make it up to see her too often, but I know she loves having visitors (and after having us there for two days, I'm sure she loves seeing us go even more:-) Anyway, we only make it up there once or twice a year and since we haven't been for a while, I figured this was a perfect weekend to go. The kids and I took off on Thursday morning and we had so much fun hanging out with her. Heather is my super stylish sister so I figured that since I was there I would have her take me shopping for new jeans because I know I am dangerously close to becoming a frumpy mom and I am really trying to avoid that at all costs. We braved the mall and a few other stores with all four kids in tow and I am glad to report that I got new jeans. Thanks go out to Heather for being a fabulous fashion consultant and an even better aunt and babysitter. The kids however did not enjoy the shopping trip nearly as much as we did--this picture actually looks like they were being good, but if you saw the shelves above Sarah about 10 seconds after this picture you would have seen the entire shelf and all the jeans on the floor.

To thank them for putting up with grown up stuff, we did let them all have $2 at the dollar store to buy something which greatly lifted their spirits. Ben got a toy phone, Sarah got dress up shoes, Madeline got a pony, and Andrew kept the money-smart choice! We also went to "surprise" Casey, Heather's boyfriend, at the restaurant he works at, for dinner-even though he figured out that we were coming. Now you might think that taking 4 kids to a nice steak house is crazy, and I would have to agree. I think I would have truly gone crazy had we not been lucky enough to get seated in a room that we had all to ourselves. My kids thought that was great and they had fun acting just like we were eating dinner at home, with all the volume and craziness that goes along with it.

Up there, we also fed the ducks that live in the canal right by Heather's house and had a super fun sleepover. The highlights of the trip was, as always, going to Heather's classroom and taking turns in the wheel chair. She teaches special ed and has as many toys in her classroom as I do at my home. The kids loved trampoline and exercise ball in her class. Madeline got disciplined and did not like getting "detention." Heather taught a Math lesson and Sara did not do very good sorting her coins but Andrew, Ben and Madeline all passed with flying colors. Even thought it was crazy, it was worth it and we know that we will be back at least sometime soon! Thanks Heather for hosting us, you're the best and we love you more than you will ever know--even if Casey is our favorite!


We came back home Friday evening, then spent Saturday with Craig's parents, Sunday at home, and then all day Monday park hoping with our best friends. Counting my backyard and the outdoor play place at Arctic Circle, we hit 5 parks in one afternoon and we all had a blast! Overall it was a great weekend, but it was exhausting and I am ready to spend some time at home!

So I know I posted about the race (which I am still fixating on way too much), But there was a lot more to the trip for us as well. After much persuasion, I convinced Craig to take Friday off work so we had three whole days down in St. George. Granted one was occupied by the marathon/conference and the other was Sunday, but it is always nice to go there and get away from real life for a while.

While we were there, we celebrated Madeline's birthday-she turned 7 and was pretty excited to have a special day just for her. We had a lot of fun torturing her all day by having her presents in sight, but out of reach. It was so funny. We put the pictures up on a shelf above a doorway the night before her birthday and when she woke up she was so excited to see them. We told her that she could have them if she could get them down. She was pretty clever and was able to talk multiple people into helping her out. It was a fun day and she loves celebrating it in her birthday in St. George which is a good thing because it's pretty much a tradition from her on out!

Saturday morning, Craig the kids, and my sister, Heather and her boyfriend, Casey upheld their race day tradition--the Mayors Walk- a two mile race that covers the end of the marathon route. Andrew was so excited to run in a race and Craig was brave and let him run a head of the group--it's probably a good thing I wasn't there or that would have freaked me out. But everyone arrived home together and in one piece so all is well.

Apparently Madeline talked through the whole race and never ran out of things to say and she even learned the meaning of some new words. She is very curious and very smart and kept Heather and Casey entertained (or annoyed, take your pick) the whole time. The kids also loved getting to ride the bus home from the race--they thought they were so cool!


While they were doing all that I was running 26.2 miles and since the only post I did about that was to complain about my time, I thought I would give a few more details here. (Thanks Laurie, I basically copied and pasted this one from you.)

After the race, we all went back to my parents St. George house and hit the hot tub! I probably could have stayed in there forever, but eventually we had to get out and have some fun again. Of course we, and by we, I mean everyone who didn't run the marathon, found another standby St. George activity--bike riding. There is quite the interesting array of bikes down there which include an ancient bicycle built for two and my old bike from more than 20 years ago. It is so fun to see Madeline ride that one, it always makes me smile and I usually even feel like a kid again. This year Andrew also brought his rip stick and had a lot of fun trying to teach Heather and Casey how to ride it. He was thrilled that he was the best ripstick rider there--he thought it was so cool that he could do something better than all the adults. However, no one had the heart to break it to him that non of the adults really cared.
Other than that, there was a lot of hanging out at the house, swimming, and of course conference. On the way home we stopped in Cedar City to visit Craig's sister and her family and it was so fun to see them and their kids and grand kids-- we don't do that as often as we should and they are such fun people to be around. All in all, it was a fun weekend and I am already making plans to do it again next year!

So ever since the marathon, I have sort of been in this hum-drum mood. I can't exactly put my finger on it, but it's just like I don't feel like doing anything, but I have so much to do and I'm not sure where to find any balance. I also have to admit that I am going a little crazy not having a race goal to work towards and I think I'm just kind of at a loss for life and self right now. In an attempt to combat the hum-drum do nothing attitude that I have been plagued with, I decided it was time to update my blog and catch up on some of the fun things that have been happening at our house this month. (Thanks in advance to my sister Heather who I basically copied two of these posts from.)

Today Sarah turned two! It's hard to believed that my baby girl is not really a baby anymore--but that doesn't mean I will stop calling he my baby! She will always and forever be that to me and I will always love that about her. She is my constant companion, my sidekick and my partner in crime! I love her so much and even though she wears me out and sometimes even drives me crazy, there is nothing I would change about her. She brings so much fun and life to our family and I don't know what we would do without her. She makes all of us laugh every single day and it is so fun to watch her learn and grow. I love seeing her experience new things and chart her own course. She is so independent and she knows what she wants and is never afraid to go after it and get it! I also love talking to her and hearing everything she has to say--the girl really is a spitfire and I can't even begin to express how much I love her, but I will try my best by just saying that she brings so much life and excitement to our house and our life would be so boring without her!
I love you babe--you are to fun for words and I don't know what we'd do without you! (This picture is a bit old, I'll try to update it with a current one as soon as I get them from my dad!)

That's right, Craig and I just hit the big 1-0--as in our 10th anniversary. Ten years seemed like such a long time when we first got married, but now, I'm not so sure about that. The past ten years have totally flown by and I can't even fathom how much has happened in those ten years. 4 kids, 2 homes--technically a home and a condo, 6 cars, 3 college degrees and so many memories that I don't even know where to start. But I do know that I love him more today than I did 10 years ago and that we make a really great team! He is such a great husband and father and I am so grateful that he works so hard to take care of all of us. I love what a good dad he is and I am in awe of the energy he has to be the fun dad at the end of every day. I love the fact that he never gets embarrassed. I love the way he laughs with the kids and listens to their stories like they are the most important thing in the world. I love that he does all our deep cleaning. I love how he makes me laugh every day. And I love that no matter the place or situation, he is always true to himself! I am so blessed to have him in my life and I was so grateful to have the chance to get away with him last weekend. We went to Park City and had a blast. I am so grateful to know that we still know how to be silly and spontaneous and that we still can have so much fun together. I think that when we get stuck in the hustle and bustle of daily life, that it is so easy to forget how much we really do enjoy each other and I am just really grateful for things like anniversaries that force us to remember!

It's hard to believe how fast time flies. I can still vividly remember almost every detail of the minute Madeline was born, and yet, here she is--seven years old! (OK she turned seven on October 3rd, but I had to get through all that marathon stuff before I could think about posting again). It's hard to believe how quickly those seven years have flown by and how much love, laughter and life that little girl has brought into our home. She really spices up our lives and she keeps me on my toes every single day! The girl is a fireball and she lives her life full of passion, no matter what her emotions of the moment are, you can be sure they are filled with passion! And while that passion sometimes gets her into trouble, it's also is what makes her tick and what makes her want to try and do so many new things, and ultimately what makes her her. I love her more than I know how to express and I am so grateful that she is mine. She is so sweet and sincere and I love how she truly thinks about EVERYTHING! She really is so much fun and I love the phase of life she is in now-so eager to learn and try new things with a new found bit of independence, but still so content to be my little girl. And while I am having fun, a lot of fun, with the seven year old version of Madeline, I still find it hard to believe that she went from this:

to this:
and if I'm honest, I don't know if I'm to excited about her getting any older because I love her so much just the way she is!

There are lots of reasons to go here:
Maybe it's the pork--yum!

Or if chicken's your thing, maybe it's that.

Maybe you want to broaden your kids horizons and have them experience somtheing other than the drive through.

Or maybe you just like the free kids quesadillas.

Maybe it's the pebbled ice.

Maybe it's because you get jealous of your husband who goes there so much that he never wants to eat there with you. (And by so much, I mean every single Wednesday folks).

Or maybe, just maybe, it's because you dropped your dinner on the floor when you were taking it out of the oven, and you just couldn't bear feeding your kids Mexican food mixed with glass shards.

Maybe.

I have been hesitating to post this because I know I sound like a total whiner and that not many people will get it, but I think I need to do it. Maybe it will help me get over myself and start obsessing about something new. So without further adieu, here is my weekend report:

I ran a marathon on Saturday.
I am not happy with the results.
I missed my goal time.
I wanted to run it in 3 hrs. and 40 min.
My time: 3 hrs. 42 min. and 9 seconds.
I did find my shirt.

You might see that and think--what's the big deal? Who cares about a lousy 2 min and 9 seconds? The answer is, I do. I really really do. I wanted to qualify for Boston--as in the Boston marathon--and I missed the mark; I missed it by 1 min and 10 seconds. And I have been beating myself up over it for the past 3 1/2 days. I have picked out at least 9 specific spots in the race where I cost myself 10 or more seconds of delays and I have cursed myself for every single one--over and over and over again. I am mad at myself for all of them. The dumb thing is, I had no intention of even going back to Boston to run the race--I just wanted to know that I could do it. But I didn't. And coming so close to the goal makes it even worse.

Now I know in the big picture, this isn't going to matter much at all. But for the here and now, it does and I have been through all sorts of emotions because of it. I know that just being able to finish a marathon, and to finish it so much faster than my last one, is no small feat, and I don't take that away from myself. But I am still mad that I didn't live up to my expectations and even more so that I didn't live up to what I know I can do. I think what makes it so frustrating is that I have put in so much time and energy trying to meet this goal, and when all is said and done, it feels like it was in vain. (Now I know it wasn't, it just feels like it). Thankfully today I'm moving on from it a little bit. It's not the only thing on my mind--it's still there, but at least it's not front and center anymore. (It's moved a little to the left I think--but only a little). And while I will probably be disappointed with myself for a very long time over this, at least it has given me more of a hunger and a drive to get back out there and do it again. And yes, I will do it again--If I could do it tomorow I would--but I don't think that's possible since just yesterday I was still going down the stairs backwards.

Now I don't want to sound ungrateful for too long, so I do will share what a good friend texted me that day that did help to make me feel better. She simply reminded me that it's not so much about the destination but rather about the journey, and let me tell you that they journey has been better than the best. I would still be beating myself up if I didn't get to think about the amazing journey I had training for this race. I have had so much fun and felt so much love as I have been adopted into a new group of running friends and I have loved every single minute of training and racing with all of them. So to end on a happier note I will give my top ten training memories, in no particular order, from this racing season that are even now putting a smile on my face and reminding me what that the journey really is all that matters:

10. Being the tag along for the Painters 5K--I needed a ride to St. George and bravely bummed one off of some casual acquaintances who have now become a major lifeline for me. And who, consequently, I can't imagien NOT having in my life. I LOVE YOU GIRLS!

9. Running Bandit in the Provo Half--and carrying Cami's HEAVY bag full of bricks and brushes and who knows what else;-)

8. Freezing my butt off in the Provo river:-)

7. That 41/2 miler that I did with Lisa that felt like old times!

6. Snickers--a surprisingly good alternative to Gu! (Except not on race day)

5. Getting lost on the mountain with Laurie and having a blast charting our own course

4. Wasatch Back--I still think it was harder than the marathon....harder, but drier and much more fun!

3. Running while wearing a dinosaur headlamp--and then having the nerve to make fun of some other guy for what he was wearing.

2. Hobble Creek--what's not to like about a race you run with everyone you love and set a PR in too!

1. Seeing all my friends do such a slammin' job at St. George--if I couldn't have a good race, knowing that they did is the next best thing. I'm so proud of all of them and their PR's and I can't wait for the next set of memories to begin!

Today has yet again been one of those crazy days and I thought it appropriate to give a quick run down of what I did today.

Got up and ran.
Thought about the marathon.
Made breakfast and lunch for my family
Thought about the marathon.
Got Andrew and Madeline safely off to school
Thought about the marathon.
Went through every drawer in my dresser and shelf in my closet looking for my missing tank top I plan on wearing for the marathon
Thought about the marathon--and started worrying about what I'm going to wear if I can't find that top.
Tried to read a book
Thought about the marathon.
Let Ben and Sarah watch more TV than usual
Thought about the marathon.
Worked on Reflections stuff
Thought about the marathon.
Straightened up my laundry room--no shirt.
Thought about the marathon.
Mopped the floor--I even let Sarah help
Thought about the marathon.
Went through the bathroom drawers and the ironing pile---still no shirt
Thought about the marathon.
Cleaned out under my bed, looked through all our luggage, vacuumed the whole upstairs--you guessed it, no shirt :-(
Thought about the marathon--along with obsessing over my tank top.
Took lunch to a friend for her birthday--HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA!!
Thought about the marathon--but not quite as much.
Delivered Reflections stuff and new nursery manuals (they're so cool)
Thought about the marathon.
Vacuumed the house--the good way--you know when you actually move the furniture and use the attachments
Thought about the marathon.
Put Sarah down for a much needed nap
Thought about the marathon.
Sent Andrew and Madeline to piano
Thought about the marathon.
Sewed most of Ben's Halloween costume--and I didn't even have to unpick anything:-)
Thought about the marathon.
Cleaned the basement
Thought about the marathon.
Searched the laundry room with lights out and a flashlight--freaked out about the missing top.
Thought about the marathon.
Put up all the Halloween decorations
Read Halloween books with the kids
Thought about the marathon.
Sent the kids to bed
Thought about the marathon.
Blogged
Thought about the marathon.

As you can guess I have a one track mind today. I can't get this race off my mind and I am really trying hard not to make myself not freak out. (Hence the hectic day.) I guess that the one thing I have going for me right now, is that at least I have gotten a ton done today--even if my brain wasn't totally there for most of it! Thank goodness there are only 2 more days--I don't know if I can handle much for of this--St. George, here I come!
Still thinking about about the marathon and the missing shirt.

My last post, while from the heart, left out one major thing that has been nagging me for the past few days. I knew from the beginning when I titled the post "Why?" that I was asking the wrong question. I know that if anyone is to make it through any trial they face, the question is not why; the question is how? and who?, When you change the question from why to how and who the answers are always easier to find. And while the pain may not go away, at least you can know that you are not alone and that you don't have to bear your burden by yourself. The Atonement is obviously the how, and our Savior, Jesus Christ, is the who. It is through Him and His sacrifices that I know I can face any burden. I know it may not be easy, but I know I can do it. Thankfully my friend I was speaking of knows this too--I think she knows it more strongly and powerfully than I do. I honestly don't know how I would be able to face pain and suffering and trials in this life without this knowledge and I am grateful every day that I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father and with His son, my brother, Jesus Christ. The older I get the more comfort I find in this scripture:
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
-John 14:27
I love it because it doesn't promise that things will be easy, or that we won't face trials, it simply promises that there is somewhere that everyone can turn to find the peace that they need for whatever they may be facing. Our burdens are so much lighter when there is someone to share them, and the only place we can turn to find true peace and healing is to Him. I know this. I've lived this. And I will always be grateful for it.