Going Crazy and Having Fun

A couple of nights ago Madeline had just finished her shower and she brought me this:
And requested this:

I just laughed when she requested it with the words "Mom, it will look so cute if you put my hair all in a ponytail right above my ear." I remember feeling the same way and saying the same things--only I'm pretty sure I looked like a fool. I couldn't help but laugh every time I saw her, but not because of her, just because of how 80's it really was--next thing you know I'm going to be buying florescent nylon sweatsuits for her (gasp). And even though it made me chuckle, I do have to say that she looks pretty dang cute-she definitely wears it better than I ever did--after all with a smile like that, you can't go wrong!

If you want to feel dumb, I mean really really dumb; buy your 5 year old this for his birthday. It's a surefire way to make you feel inferior to whoever it was that designed this toy and to whoever it is that can actually make it transform properly. Very clearly in the top corner of the box it says ages 5+. I did however neglect to turn the box over and notice the tiny writing that says " Level 3-Advanced Conversion." And by advanced conversion I'm convinced that they mean--we would like to laugh at you and your family as you try to solve our cryptic instructions and turn this stupid robot into a plane. If the Hasbro people were smart, they would figure out a way to record each and every transformer's journey, from the factory to it's new home where the process of each family trying to transform these impossible toys would be a ratings juggernaut. (Ohhh I feel smart for using a word like juggernaut--even if I did have to use spell check to get it right) I think I'm on to something, it would be great reality TV--truly real reality TV-complete with temper tantrums, tears, frustration, injury, and even a few bad words thrown in here and there. But sadly for Hasbro, it probably wouldn't help their sales--after who wants to buy a toy that just makes the birthday boy sad and his parents just plain frustrated. Back in the days, the transformers commercials were really cool with their theme song sang in a roboty voice "Transformers--more than meets the eye." I'm here to report that that jingle still holds true today. There is a lot more than meets the eye with these evil little toys. The eye says; "This looks like fun for my son." The more that meets the eye part- "if he's destined to bea rocket scientist."

Today is my big sister's birthday and I couldn't let it pass without letting the world (and by world, I mean 7 people who read this blog) know how much I love her. She's a total babe and I don't know if I could ever tell her how much she means to me! I have always looked up to her and wanted to be just like her. I have always believed in her--even when she hasn't given herself the same courtesy. I have always wanted to be like her. She is my friend, my sounding board, my partner in crime and I miss her so much that I cry every week about it. As far as my sisters go, she is the only one in the same phase of life as I am so I have always related to her on a different level than my other sisters. I have turned to her countless times for advice, oneverything from motherhood to makeup. I remember when we were younger that she had this white shirt with a rainbow on it that was dripping hearts--it was one of those super wide necked short sleeved sweatshirts that screamed 1986--and I loved it. Every time she wore it I would tell her how pretty she was and how much I loved her shirt. Eventually she got tired of the shirt (as any pre-teen in their right mind would have) and she handed it down to me. I remember the day clear as a bell. I was standing on my parent's front porch and she was getting ready to go out. On her way out the door she tossed the shirt to me and told me it was mine. I instantly ran inside and put it on and felt like a million bucks (although I looked like a whopping $5.99). I wore the shirt all the time and I loved it, not because it was cool (I promise it wasn't) but because it was her's and I wanted to be just like her. I still want to be like her. I look up to her in so many ways. She has such a big heart and would help anyone out if they needed it and sometimes even if they didn't. She is a fierce mama bear who protects her kids at all costs, but who also let's them learn life lessons the real way. She knows each one of her kids so well and she knows how they need to be loved and is able to give them what they need and be there for them in ways I wish I could copy. She is the kind of friend you'd be lucky to have because you really couldn't have anyone better looking out for you. She knows how to perservere through the hard times and keep her spirits high even when life tries to push her down. She is such a kind and caring person and I really don't know what I would do without her.
No matter what whenever we are together we spend the majority of our time laughing. Who else could I ride a tandem bike to Albertsons with to buy tampons at 11:00 at night? Who else could I watch the pirate nun with? Who else would laugh with me so I don't cry and cry with me until I laughed again? The answer is no one. She is one of a kind and I'm so grateful that I get to have her in my life, even if right now all I get is scattered phone calls and text messages. I miss her. I miss her laugh and I miss being together, but I will say that no matter how much I miss her, I will never miss out on learning from her. She is truly an amazing woman who I will always look up to and always want to be like, and most likely always yearn for her hand me down's.
I love you Wendy, more than you will ever know!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Now that I've taken a trip down memory lane and cried about what great friends I have (see previous post) I just have to do a quick race recap. Once again we ran the 5K but this year was way more fun. This year I was part of the group. I still sat in the back, but it wasn't because I was hiding out--it was just because. Here are my favorite highlights (sadly there are not pictures to accompany them):

*Reconnecting with an old friend where's there's been some distance that's really been causing me a lot of grief and even a few tears lately!

*Having my sister show up at the house at midnight--we double booked the house, but it was my fault, I requested it for President's day weekend. It was so funny to have her call, worried about the car in the driveway. It was even funnier seeing Melissa's face when she walked in on Kristy and her friend in bed together! It was fun being there for just a little bit with Kristy and she just better let everyone know what a fantastically nice sister I am after I gave her the good bed and slept (OK didn't sleep) on the crappy trundle one--no wonder my kids complain about that one!

*Brittany thinking I was crazy in the middle of the night.

*Running my fastest 5K ever (23 min flat:)

*Placing in my age division (a first for me)

*Adding miles on to our wimpy 5K on the half marathon route with Cami. The course is an out and back one so there is a turnaround point on the running trail. We cut out before the turnaround point and it was funny to see the looks of disgust on the other runners faces when we did that. Then it was even funnier to get past that point and see all the other runners cheering us on. We actually felt really guilty about it so we took our numbers off without really ever missing a step. Then we were just cheered on by all the onlookers on the course. We kept telling people that we weren't running the half but it was still so fun to have them cheer for us. But my most favorite part was cheering on the grandma and giving her the boost she needed to pass the girl in maroon. It was so fun talking to her at the finish line--I wish we would have asked her name, but I will say that I want to look that good and run that fast when I'm a grandma!

*Being reminded how freaking lucky I am to have such AMAZING friends!

I love to run. (I know--you're surprised).

I like the St. George Marathon (another big shocker--eh?)

Well, just in case you didn't know it's not a sure thing that you can always get into the marathon. Lots of people want to do it--lots of people try to sign up--lots of people get turned down. But there are a few tricks (OK really just one but a few sounded cooler) for those of us who have been paying attention. There's this thing called the Runners Series that you can sign up (and of course pay) for which guarantees entry into the marathon if you meet the requirements.

The requirements--run 2 of several designated races in St. George causing your cash flow to boost their economy and making them like you enough to let you run their race. (Sounds a little like bribery eh?) Basically it's just buying your way into a race in a roundabout and very fun sort of way.

Last year was the first year I signed up for the series and the first race I was planning on running was the Painters 5K over Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend. I had it all planned out. My family and I would go down for a fun long weekend, during which I would run my first of 2 races and be well on my way to meeting the requirements. To me the trip was mandatory--for some reason Craig wasn't so excited. He really really didn't want to go down that weekend--he was OK with me going, but he was pretty definite in letting me know that he and the kid's weren't going to accompany me. Once he decided that I was in panic mode. I had to run that race! (It was my plan and I don't do so well when I change those!) I needed to be there but I didn't want to go down and back all by myself. There was another option, but it required me being brave.

There was this group. They lived close. They like to run. They were intimidating but they were going and I needed a ride. Thankfully my parent's generosity gave me the needed boost to be brave. They have a fun house in St. George and they were OK with me and some girls who I "knew" using it. Here was my internal dialogue:

""OK I know that one girl well enough to call and ask if I can join them..""

"Yeah, but they probably are only taking a small car and I'm just going to mess that up."

"Yeah, but I can offer a free place for everyone to stay--who's going to turn that one down?"

Yeah, but what if they don't like me? What if I feel like a fool all weekend?"

"Yeah, but it's really my only option."

"Remember--free house, free house, free house; really who's going to turn that down--even if they don't like you?"

Finally after about 2 days of hearing that inside my head, I made the call to that one girl. I was brave. They were planning on taking a small car, but she was really nice (I already knew that). She thought the free house was just for me--when I told her it was for everyone, she was even nicer. She had to make a few calls. I had to sit and wait with butterflies. She called back after cars had been switched and hotels canceled. I had a ride and a lot of new anxiety about what the weekend would hold. When they came and picked me up, my anxiety increased. My first impression: they are all goregeous and have reallly great jeans and the bodies to wear them well. They really really have a great thing here. They like each other a lot and have had YEARS of building up a friendship. I don't think I fit in. What the heck was I thinking?
I'll admit I was nervous. On that drive down I sat in the back of the car in a corner glad to be by that fast yet intimidating girl who was reading so that I could do more listening than talking. About half way there I relaxed a little and started talking too--I felt like a total outsider, but at least I didn't feel like an outcast. The weekend ended up being really fun. They were nice (still intimidating but that was probably just me). They were also really fast. My goal for the race the next morning was just to be able to keep them in my sights for the duration of the race. (I almost met that goal).

This weekend was the anniversary of that race those girls are now some of my closest friends and I would literally be lost without them in my life. And so I have to tell all my gorgeous girls-who still look really great in their jeans-HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I don't know how to ever tell you all how much you mean to me and how grateful I am to you for opening your circle and letting me in. I couldn't imagine a better, sweeter and nicer group to be a part of. Everyone has their niche and everyone fills it well. But best of all, everyone genuinely cares about everyone else. In running we cheer each others successes and share each others disappointments. In life we do the same. I am beyond blessed to have each and everyone of you in my life and I hope you all know how much you mean to me!

We're trying a new plan to combat the terrible two's 'round here. It was Sarah's idea and I thought I would take it to heart. If only it really worked:

Sometimes I am just really struck by the complete unfairness of life. I have a good friend who is trying to adopt a baby. Yesterday she had LDS social services come and do a home check. They told her all the stupid, necessary, but still stupid things like--"You need a gate for your stairs." or "You need child locks on your cupboards." or countless other silly little things along those lines. Then today I filled out a reference letter for her to put in thier adoption files. On top of that they have had to go through background checks, have attended way to many meetings (most of them boring), made multiple scrapbooks, filled out mountains of paper work, and basically been poked, proded and inspected under a microscope just to make sure that they are fit parents. And let me tell you--they ARE fit parents!!

Then there's me--I got pregnant with Andrew 2 months after we got married (kind of an oops-a good oops but still an oops none the less). I got pregnant with Madeline the first month we tried. Ben was another oops--a good oops and a "hey we were starting to thinking about getting pregnant" oops, but still an oops! And then with Sarah, it took us a whooping 2 months to get pregnant. And then even worse, there's that lady--doped out and sleeping around who--oops--get pregnant. Or the crazy lady who couldn't take care of a pet rock, let alone a child, who get's pregnant. Or the lady who has kids for the "image" but really only cares about her career. Really, I could go on and on and on with examples, but I'll get to the point:
How is it fair that all of us just get pregnant, or knocked up, wait nine or so months, go to the hospital and then just get to take our baby home. There's no background check, no reference letters, maybe some paper work (but just a little), and no home visits by social services. (At least not for me, cases 2, 3 and 4 probably see their social worker plenty.) What would the world be like if eveyone had to be scrutanized like my friends have been in order to take their child home. Chances are the world would be a better place. Chances are, kids would grow up with respect and responsibility. Chances are, all the kids in the world would be loved and provided for they way they are supposed to. Chances are that the world would be a whole lot less screwed up than it is now. But like I said, life's not fair. If it was, I can guarantee that my friends would have a baby by now.

Usually at the end of a post I know how to sum things up and wrap up my feelings in a nice neat package. But tonight I don't. I'm sad. I'm mad. And I'm feeling just a tiny bit of the heartbreak they have been feeling for the past three years. I wish it was in my power to give them the thing that want more than anything in the world. But I can't. All I can do tonight, is tell you all about them in hopes that someone, somewhere will see this and give them the one thing they want more than anthing else in the world. If you know of anyone who is looking for a fantastic home for a baby, please send them here and let them know that I couldn't think of two better people to have a baby. They are already parents, they are just waiting their baby.

This week really has been one for the record books for me. I can't believe everything that I have been through and accomplished. I blogged about Andrew's traumas, but left out the fact that Sarah got a staff infection and I had to completely reorganize our entire primary--which was a HUGE task that I can thankfully say is successfully behind me. One week ago our stake redid our ward boundaries. I was excited to add more kids to our Primary but it was quite a daunting task to be ready to go for the new ward in one weeks time. (Let alone one week with some major medical trauma mixed in). I won't go into all the details of what I've been through this week or sit here and complain about how much work and stress it's been, because that's not what stands out to me. What stands out to me is that my testimony has been reaffirmed. I know Heavenly Father loves me. I know He hears and answers my prayers, and I know that even though things might be hard, I never have to go through them alone. This week was proof to me that I have help when I need it. It is sent through the priesthood, Craig, my kids, my family, my friends, my ward, a fantastic primary presidency with a rock-star secretary and in so many other ways. It is felt when I ask for help and have my prayers answered EXACTLY as they need to be. I know that I couldn't have got through this week with my sanity intact if it were not for my testimony and my faith. I am so grateful to have both and to have experiences like this week to help me continue to learn and grow as a person and in the gospel. So, tonight, I might still be tired, but I am full of peace and I know that I will never be faced with an obstacle that I can't conquer because I never have to go through anything alone. And with that said, I am SO looking forward to my well deserved upcoming girls getaway--I couldn't ask for better timing!

All I have to say is that I am totally, completely and utterly EXHAUSTED! Mentally, physically, emotionally--I'm done. After the week I've had all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep for the next two days--but since we all know that is never going to happen, I will settle for signing off after this post and being thrilled that I am going to bed before my clocks big red numbers glare 1:30 at me tonight-a feat I haven't accomplished in the past three days! And with that, I say GOOD NIGHT! (Oh and sweet dreams too.....and with lots of luck and faith a happy and successful tomorrow!)

With the crazy events of this week (not just the story in this post) I have felt a lot of emotions; fear, frustration, completely overwhelmed, exhaustion, and too many other to name. But thankfully tonight, I feel just one--GRATITUDE! Tonight I am aware that I have SO MUCH to be grateful for.
Here's the story. Saturday night, Andrew went to bed with a toothache. He woke up Sunday with his tooth still hurting and went through the day doped up on ibuprofen, not quite himself, and in quite a bit of pain. I called our dentist (who I love) and left a message that we wanted to get in first thing on Monday morning if possible. Sunday night we put Andrew to bed and the pain was so bad that he couldn't sleep. He was literally up all night. Thankfully the dentist called at 7:45 Monday morning and said that they had a spot for us in 15 min. We raced into the office and after taking x-rays, they discovered that he had an infection in a tooth that had previously had a cavity. The dentist performed a pulpotomy (kids root canal) after which they took another x-ray to make sure the infection was clear. It looked good and they sent us on our way. We went home, but Andrew wasn't quite himself. I just figured it was because of the total lack of sleep the night before, but by about 3:00 that afternoon, he was still complaining about the pain. I called the dentist and they told me they would call in 2 perscriptions--one for pain and one for the infection. Since it was snowing and I didn't really want to take four kids out to get a prescription, I asked Craig to pick it up on the way home from work. By the time he got home at 6:30, this is what Andrew looked like:

We hurried and filled him up with Lortab and amoxicilin and hoped for a quick recovery and a better night ahead. Once again he went to be but couldn't sleep because of the pain. Thankfully due to the snowstorm, we were able to find a neighbor who came over and helped Craig give Andrew a blessing. He was able to fall asleep and get some rest, but when he woke up he looked like this:
Obviouslly we were concerned so we called after he woke up at about 9:00 this morning. They told us that any swelling was not normal but that the antibiotics should be kicking in anytime and making a difference. They wanted us to keep an eye on it and come in if it hadn't improved by lunchtime. They blocked out a time for us at 1:30 this afternoon. This is what Andrew looked like just before that visit:
After visiting with the dentist he sent us straight to an oral surgeon. Thankfully I completely trust my dentist and his judgment so I didn't hesitate at all to go to someone I had never heard of. The oral surgeons first reaction upon seeing Andrew was, as best as I can describe, eye popping and jaw dropping--but not in a weird cartoony way, just in a "Holy crap, this is a big deal" kind of way. "This is really serious" were his first words to me, "We might have to hospitalize him" were the next. After a quick examination he diagnoised the swelling and infection as cellulitis-which can be very dangerous and surprisingly has made quite the appearance in my family in recent months (my dad, my neice, and now my son). The suregon decided the best course of action would be to extract the tooth and then drain as much of the pus as possible from his cheek, gums and mouth. We had to wait until 5:45 to start the surgery because Andrew had eaten something this afternoon. Thankfully we had a surgeon and his staff who was selfless enough to give up time with his wife and children in order to take care of my son who I couldn't take care of myself. He was very kind and gentle and made us feel at peace even though we were kind of freaked out. He was so sweet to Andrew and I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for all that he did for my sweet Andrew tonight. While we were waiting we had enough time to run home and give Andrew another blessing with the help of another neighbor who is practically family. After that it was back to the surgeons office. Here is a the pre-surgery picture:
For the surgery they had to extract his tooth, drian the infection as much as possible and then they inserted a tube to help with any additional drainage that might occur in the next 16 hours. We have to take Andrew in at 10:00 tomorow morning for them to remove it and to decide what to do next. There is a chance he has to be hospitalized, but seeing the change in him tonight makes me believe that is not very likely. Here is the post surgery picture:
The poor kid, he's really been through the ringer today!

So after all that, one might wonder why gratitude is the one emotion that sticks out in my head tonight, so I will tell you.

There are a lot of things I should be blogging about--heck, I haven't even posted a thing about Thanksgiving, let alone Christmas and New Years. There really is so much I want to say and record, but I can't--at least not right now. All I have to say is ditto to my previous post..scroll down, you'll see. And I just want to know one thing--does life ever slow down long enough for me to catch my breath?