Rather, I refer to authenticity and vulnerability, two qualities which I have almost completely avoided these last few months. I suppose I've considered this blog an escape of sorts, a place where I can catalog the happy memories. After a day of dealing with reality--which is rather harsh of late--I'd rather not unearth it again and dump it on my virtual neighbors.
Which is why you haven't heard much news on here. Or email. Or phone. But ask me about my kids, that I can write and talk about...
My friend has had the courage to write publicly about the very recent loss of their baby through miscarriage. That is, two weeks after their loss, she was posting about it. She shared with me that many people had been helped by her openness. I've told her how much I admire her courage and honesty. I'm sure she is healthier for having written about her experience.
Likewise, my dear A2 sent regular updates throughout her battle (and victory!) with lymphoma. Now, I marvel that she did that. It blessed a lot of people, but must have been hard to actually type out.
As much as I admire them, I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet. I don't know that anyone really wants to hear about our struggles with job, houses, and cars (oh my). My friend Mrs. K says this is a book in the making, "A Suitcase, a Crib and Two Plastic Totes." I'd rather wait to see the wonderful ending to this chapter before putting it to paper/screen. Immature? Perhaps. Survival mechanism? Definitely.
So, please know that I cherish every prayer sent up on our behalf. We need each one. Thank you for understanding that, most days, I just don't feel I have it in me to encapsulate all the drama for mass consumption. Thank you for being faithful to pray for us even though I may not tell you specifically what to pray for. In the meantime, I hope to make more time to post about the blessings for which we are thankful. Such as my three amazing, precious, incomparable ordinary miracles and their dad.
