jeeeeesh...it has been a while since i've posted on the blog.  life here is at a constant pace keeping up with all these little people!  here's a few most recent pics...this will officially count as our Christmas card this year people!!!

our first egg from our chicks!  they were so excited!!

this crazy girl was all wound up after one of her girlfriends birthday parties!

just one of the silly looks this boy can give!  he sure has come out of his shell and turned out to be quite a comedian!

bugs teaching the littles how to play

even the dogs are silly in this house!  technically, i think this could count as dog abuse. i'm pretty sure the big bro 'staged' this one!

we had family up for a Christmas celebration.  here the hubs is giving a big old bear hug to his 'little' 2nd cousin!

sis with her great aunt

biggest bro was a happy camper farmer to add another combine to his collection.  great aunt spoiled us big time!

and my bug being his silly self!

the whole crew enjoying their gifts, and the reality of having each other.

little man

fun times with the cousins

building their legos with help from the cous!

hubs was bent on getting a photo of me in the most precarious positions {aka...taking a giant bite of ridiculously delicious cake}, so i gave him something to take a pic of.  i learned this from one of my best of girlfriends...thanks mandy!  but i think you may still have me beat!

we got snow on Christmas eve morning.  big bro was towing us all around behind the four-wheeler.

the littles and the bug bouncing around!

our trusty driver kept an eye on his cargo

it was a glorious day filled with all kinds fun!!

the 'men' taking care of the turkey

all the kids for our first Christmas eve dinner together.  such a blessing!

Christmas even present time before our nativity story!

this year marks a pretty special year to us.  the hubs and i had candid conversations last Christmas, that we both remember clearly, thinking it was our last Christmas as the four of us.  it shouldn't have been. at the time we were adoption from haiti which would have taken much more time.  God had different plans and let us in on His little secret last Christmas.  it was quite overwhelming as we watched them all open gifts together this morning and wondering what their last year held for them.  did they know we were coming for them?  where they preparing their hearts for us?  did they even celebrate the Saviors birth?  probably not, but God sure made a way regardless, and has been faithful to knit our hearts more and more with each passing day.  

yes, i know, it's been a while.  things with four kids and homeschooling has kept me cranking!  but, i wanted to share some pics of our amazing shower that my girlfriends put together for us.  the pictures don't express how Jesus filled the shower was, but you'll just have to trust me on that.  it felt like i was at someone else's event which completely ministered to me in ways that only Jesus could do!  thank you to all who were involved and all who came and supported us in so many ways.  we are overwhelmed with how the church body and our family has supported us! 

our new family!

this was the set-up at the table.  i selfishly took the photo board home and the pics.  i wanted the rest, but i couldn't be too stingy! i just wanted to capture that feeling of that day at the shower!

the stars of the shower got their own cakes!

is this not the coolest cake?!  love!

this mama and her little sweetie helped prepare me for a girl!  i really don't know what to do with one, and still don't, but we're getting there!

this cute baby is as big as our little man!  except he's half his age!!!

that cute lady on the right had her hubby hand painted this canvas for everyone to put their thumbprints on who were there.  it is beyond special to me to know that this was hand painted by my pseudo-brother and one of my best of girlfriends!  it is front and center in the kids' room!!

isn't she the cutest pregnant lady ever?!!  she just delivered a healthy little girl this week.  we are praising Him for pulling her out of a scary delivery.

so, there's kind of a neat story to these pillows.  my sweet friend here made them for me...by hand, and she just had a baby!  pretty amazing, huh.  i could stop there, but there's more coolness around these little personalized owl pillows.  i almost registered for some nearly exactly like these, but talked myself out of it thinking it wasn't a need, just a want, really for me just because they were so cute.  i never told anyone.  only my God knew i wanted them, and low and behold, He provided them through this sweet friend!  God is in every detail, it just amazes me!

this had to be the cutest tutu ever!  so fun, and the little lady loves it!  she even wore it to her first church debut on orphan sunday!

the tribe going through their loot!

ha ha...the kids were scared of this soft and cuddly stuffed dog!  gives you some insight on how they're doing with our giant rottweiler and black lab!  we take it a day at a time around here!

i really can't believe it!  we sent our visa application off yesterday, the kids have had their embassy appointment, and we are now in our final stage of waiting!  the funny part is, we. are. freaking. out!!  it's quite comical how life works that way!  we've had all these months to prepare, and yet we both feel like there is still so much to do, emotionally and practically!  these aren't things like decorating, making a fuss out of things and appearances.  we're really not much into that!  it's stuff we know we won't get to do for the next several months that are requirements to our functionality, so we are trying to get it done now to ensure our little mini 'farm' keeps on truckin' in our mental absence!

would you pray with us that we would have efficient hands and wisdom to clearly define our to-do list, for the hearts of us and all the kids to be prepared for the major transition we have ahead of us, and for a quick and positive investigation from the u.s. embassy so they can issue the kids' visas sooner than later?  we know we have only made it this far from all the prayers and support, and we ask that you continue to support us in that way through this next stage.  while this past phase has been terribly hard, i truly believe it has been the easier piece (scary to say, i know).  i trust this part was the preparation we needed for what is to come.  it has taught us a whole new reliance on Him that we likely never would have encountered in our abundant and self-sufficient land of america.  we are going to be hulled up in our home for quite some time ensuring that these little peeps feel safe, secure and loved by all of us.  we will likely not see much of the light of day (ok, outside of our farm anyway) for some time, and that is going to be a major challenge, particularly on me.  i like to see people, i like to have adult conversation, and i like to see that life does exist beyond our horizon!  so this part is going to stretch me in ways that i can't even fathom yet.  i will need you all to continue to lift us up, please!

in a conversation with a friend today, i was telling her that we are prepared for it to be challenging, rewarding, and hard.  she replied "good hard," with a tone of encouragement.  so perfectly said!  apart from Him, i can not make it.  in Him, i can see the hope and joy in the trials ahead!  i will be relying on the following verse more than ever before...dare i say, hourly minute by minute, very soon!  but it will be a good hard!

we are bouncing around with joy over here today praising God with every step!  our little p's paperwork is completed and the embassy has approved him to join b's appointment!!!  people, i can't tell you what a stinking relief this is that we actually know something in this process.  we have a date.  we still don't know exactly when we'll be traveling after that date, but we have a pretty good idea.  and that's good enough for me!  this is the closest we've come to a 'known' through the whole process, and what a great thing to know!  i'll take all the unknowns for this known today!  there is a light at the end of the tunnel!  our agency worked their little booties off to make it happen, and with time to spare!  so thankful for them!

whewwww...a big, joyful, long sigh of relief!  congo here we come!  now i'm off to do all my final preparations!!   i keep pinching myself to ensure i'm not dreaming!!!  thank you Jesus for moving yet another mountain!!  i knew He would!

we are over the moon!!  we got an email on tuesday that we have an embassy appointment very soon!!  we could not be happier!  we asked God to move mountains and get us in the ballpark to get the kids home before pascal's birthday, and He did it!!  what does this mean, you ask?

the embassy appointment is basically the u.s. government investigating our kids' history to determine if they are legitimately adoptable.  they want to ensure that there wasn't some parents that wanted a better life for their kids sending them to an orphanage with a story of their parents passing or severe hardship.  i'm pretty confident that there won't be any issues as our agency does a thorough job of investigating themselves and has even pulled the plug on some kids that looked like they had a skeptical history.  once the embassy does their investigation (which can take anywhere from 1-3 weeks), they issue their visas and we should be getting a green light to go within a few weeks of that! 

plans are being made, packing is being done, travel agencies are being confirmed and final room and heart preparations are occurring!  i may never know why God had us wait almost two weeks to get the same appointment as others, but i couldn't be happier, more full of joy in Him, and confident that are kids are coming home soon. 

i don't know if you all have been watching the olympics at all, but hubby and i have repeatedly been amazed at the vast number of american olympians that have given God the glory for their success.  i certainly don't have a platform like they do, but from my platform, i can assure you there was a mountain that needed to be moved for us to get this embassy date when we did, and there's only one way it could have been done.  i give God all the praise and glory for this!  He made it happen and i couldn't be more grateful, and humbled! 

i must confess, this is the first time since we lost anna that i have been able to get excited again without being so guarded.  this verse was given to me tuesday morning before we got news of our date, "have I not commanded you? be strong and courageous. do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (joshua 1:9).  to a certain extent, i have been living in a state of fear after the loss of anna.  questions have been reeling through my head wondering if good can really come out of the loss and challenges?  will He really see us through this?  should we really be spending this kind of money in these tough economical times?  will the safety of our bank account ever be the same?  can i really rely on Him in this way?  will our kids adjust ok?  will i adjust ok?  how am i going to homeschool our older kids with two toddlers running around?  will my hubby want to come home after work anymore with a frazzled wife and mom to four kids?  all these have slowly instilled a silent fear separating me more and more from seeing God's vision for adoption.  i've slowly forgotten the heart of the gospel through some of these challenges.  but...

not today!  i can rest assured that He has commanded me to not be afraid.  to be strong and courageous.  that even when things don't go how i want or think they should, that He is with me wherever i go.  maybe tomorrow will be different, but not today.  i will rest in that today, rejoice in that today, and give Him every ounce of glory knowing it was only by His hand that this got accomplished!!! 

i woke up this morning to a timely email from a friend.  it was one of her daily devotionals that she forwarded on to me that i am pretty sure was written specifically for me!  God does that, quite often actually!  i'll hear a sermon, some words from a stranger, or get an email first thing in the morning, that are directly from Him, directly to me, specifically applicable to my situation with specific encouraging words from my Creator. He has thankfully been renewing and refreshing my spirit the past few days, and this is confirmation of His work in and through it.  people have been sending me tidbits of their daily readings that they felt God was specifically asking them to share with me.  the body of Christ has been doing what galatians 6:2 commands, to "bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."  i am overwhelmed at a God who continually pursues me even in failures and doubt, and for his saints that are obedient to pass on His word.

i have to admit (not that you haven't noticed from my recent posts), that i have been struggling.  a. lot.  this adoption has taken me (and the fam) through valleys and mountains that i never would have imagined.  there are days that i didn't want to go on with this.  i wanted to bail out of the boat and let it sail ahead without me with not a care or a  fear of what danger that might land me in, or worse, how much I would miss out on Him.  there are days that i couldn't possibly have been more filled with Him and resting literally in his arms to make it through each breath.  there are days where i have seen God so closely and clearly that i couldn't even imagine at that moment ever doubting Him in any way.  this adoption has been hard.  full of ups and downs.  but i wouldn't trade it for anything.  anything.  i wouldn't know Him the way i do now if not for this process.  i wouldn't know what it truly means to rely on Him for everything if it weren't for this adoption.  i wouldn't be closer to knowing what He goes through to adopt as His children. 

i will fall, i will stumble, but my God if faithful.  He will never let me go, and i can mount on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, and walk and not be faint when resting in His magnificent glory. 

thank you all (you know who you are) for being such an encouragement for me and our family when we needed it most.  i am eternally grateful for your presence in our lives and for the intricate piece you are to bringing our children home, to drawing us closer to Him, and giving us the ability to share Him with two more little people he will be entrusting to us, and you.  you all have been a critical piece in our ability to forge through these lowest valleys and highest mountains!  thank you!