Wow, 3 years old. I can hardly believe it! 3 years ago our lives changed forever in the best way it could. Hagen, you were what we dreamed of for years and have been such a fabulous addition to our family. You are cute, funny, smart, skinny, sweet, sneaky, and so fun to be around!

1. You love watching movies...your favorites lately are Toy Story, How to Train your Dragon, and Leap Frog videos.
2. You still love fruits and veggies (that is why you are so skinny).
3. You are such a proud big cousin to Noah and Emily, you LOVE having Noah spend he night and get two snacks, two cups, two plates...just everything double...two Flintstone vitamins,so cute!
4. You have now started undressing and dressing yourself and get a sticker in the morning if you do so.
5. You have moved up to the 3 year old room and kiss me goodbye and hug me at the door and walk yourself right in and sit on your name in the circle.
6. You eat so SLOW...we have started setting the timer on the microwave to make you finish your dinner in a decent time.
7. You are terrified of flies.
8. You demand to "poop in privacy" so you won't get poo poo on us.
9. You drink water and milk...juice is a delicacy.
10. You would eat string cheese all day if we let you...but you get backed up VERY easily.
11. You like to help with EVERYTHING!
12. You wear 6-12 month shorts, but I'm thinking we can move to 12-18 month soon!
13. You wear 3T shirts
14. You wear size 7 shoes
15. You are fully potty trained and have been since you were 2 years and 2 months old
16. Your favorite meals are: Mini Muffins for breakfast, and then for Lunch and Dinner, chips w/ cheese, Pizza, hot sauce, and of course cheese. You love apples and peanut butter, chex mix, goldfish, and raisins.
17. Your diaper is still VERY full in the morning...you wear a night night diaper at night. Probably will till you are in college.
18. You are SUPER sensitive. You get your feelings hurt very easily!! AND you wake up grouchy!

It was Daddy's morning to sleep in so when you woke I said Happy Birthday! You immediately asked if there was school and if you looked bigger! You were SO excited!

It was Memorial Day so no school/work and we were taking you to a movie...the new Shrek Ever After movie! I asked you what you wanted for breakfast and it was donuts and apple juice so we went to get donuts in our PJ's...you picked out a pink heart frosted one with sprinkles and 2 donut holes for a total of 3 since you were 3 and then we headed to Sonic for Mama's ice tea and your apple juice.

We had a picnic on the porch with Daddy for breakfast! After that we went to Papa and Pia's to get your gift from them. When we pulled up Papa was in the circle drive dusting off your new car! It was a cozy coupe like the ones at school that you love! Papa parked it in the driveway and was shining it up for you. You named your car lightening McQueen..fitting since it IS red.

We went to the movie, ate chewy sweet tarts and popcorn and then came home for a nap. We are going to lounge around in the blow up pool and soak up some more rays. Can't wait!!

Here's to many more years my little man. We are so proud of you and are looking forward to many more wonderful days with you!!

XO,

Mama

We were busy busy this weekend and had a blast! We are homebodies...we admit it. We rarely have people over...we hang out in our backyard and just chill. It's not that we are antisocial, but we don't need much entertainment! Some days the only reason we leave the house is for Sonic drinks or trips to the grocery store!

This weekend we had a pool party both days to go to and we were excited! Saturday we went to Papa and Pia's. It was so fun and Hagen really perfected jumping into the pool! He was doing a great job! Noah and Hagen each had a blow up boat and did bumper boats, Hagen dove for sticks at the bottom of the pool and was so brave that he would try to swim around even if no one was watching! Great huh?! We have now been working on making sure that someone says, "OK Hagen...ready!" before just leaping into the water.

He had a great time and got to play a bit with his new baby cousin Emily. We grilled out BBQ chicken and had a nice dinner. Hagen was so worn out with not taking a nap but was very good for the most part!

On Sunday we went to Nana's! She had her pool refinished so she wanted us all to come use it. We had hamburgers and hot dogs for dinner...perfect! She even had a birthday cake for me! Cappachino pie...Hagen ate the chocolate on the top.

I was talking with my 16 year old niece Ashlyn and she told me that she likes a boy and told me all about him. I hope that as she gets older that she feels comfortable coming to me with news like this. We are very close and I want her to feel OK about calling me or telling me anything no matter how bad it may be. I think we all need someone like that in life especially today's teenagers. They deal with so many forms of peer pressure nowadays and need some support or at least someone who will listen and understand.

Courtney my 10 year old niece is in that age where she is sassy as all get out! At one point she was telling Nana, "STOP STARING AT ME!" Nana had just come out and sat down with her plate of food to eat and LOOKED at Courtney and Hagen on the floor having a picnic. Courtney had a bad week. You see her and a friend overflowed a toilet at the house and they were home alone and didn't know how to turn the water off to the toilet. It flooded the whole downstairs...buckled the hardwoods in the study...soaked the carpet in the bedroom...soaked up the drywall...just bad stuff. She tried calling her Mom and she wasn't answering her phone, too scared to call her Dad, and didn't know anyones phone numbers.

I grew up with a pool and miss it so much in this Texas heat!! It is just not healthy to play outside without some kind of water to drench yourself with in Texas!

Tata,
Carrie

Well, I've never been one that celebrates and extended birthday, but it kinda seems like we are with Hagen's birthday being on Monday which is a holiday. We started the weekend off with a local baseball game! Ashlyn was selling tickets through her Youth Group so we headed out to the ball park. Last time we went Hagen was one!!

We went to Fuddruckers first for some dinner because we all knew that if I didn't eat something KINDA normal that I would get sick on Cotton Candy and peanuts. When we got there we found our seats and waited for Noah and Uncle Adam/Aunt Rebecca to show up. There is really not a bad seat in the house! Noah came and the party started. The TV guy came up to film Noah and Hagen was watching the jumbo tron waiting to see his face...then the camera got flipped to Hagen and they were in the running for "Fan of the game!" BUT they didn't win...nice to be considered though.

I went to get the first round of drinks (had to pee)...beer for Ryan and water for myself. Then, when it was Ryan's turn guess what he forgot? Yep, my water...GRR!

We ate blue cotton candy, peanuts, and then propel (I snuck it in with sippys). We had such a blast! Noah had so much fun that he puked 2 times...it was all peanuts. I'm sure the people around us were SO excited sitting by us...puking peanuts, standing on laps, dancing, taking a billion pictures, standing sitting standing sitting, being obnoxious, pregnant lady with her huge nude color granny panties on with a flowy dress that got stuck to her sweaty ass bending over to get something and mooning everyone...Nice...NO, I'm not kidding. I knew it felt breezy.

The game ended (it was 9:45) and the boys were good, but winding down. THEN the fireworks began with no warning. Freaked Hagen the hell out! He was TERRIFIED! So we left...fast...with hands over his little ears. They kept going and finally he could watch them without crying. They were BEAUTIFUL and there were LOTS! It was a great show!

What a fun night, not too hot, Ashlyn (who is 16) got to show Hagen off to her friends, Hagen's best bud Noah was there, we danced, sang, ate crap, and had a ball.

Hagen got to bed at about 11:00, and Ryan and I were in bed watching TV and turned the light off at 11:30. Dapper was shaking his head so that his ears were flapping on his head...it was loud and obnoxious. I let him out, then went back to bed....then up to pee...then back to bed...then the cat started licking every inch of her body and I got jealous, I mean irritated (because it is on my pillow right by my head) so I let her out, then I was WIDE awake so got up to take Tylenol PM, and then laid there...finally kicked in and I was asleep around 12:45. What time am I up this morning? 6 freaking 30! What?! Earlier than my alarm goes off most days? Not right, just not right...

Cheers to a wonderful weekend that is starting...cheers to those we are celebrating this weekend and how much we thank them for protecting us...cheers to my lovlies that read my stupid blog and still love me.

Tata,
Carrie

Get a 5th of whatever and relax...there is lots to discuss.

Work has been busy but SO good! Being a technical recruiter is definitely an up and down job. You will be slow one week and then crazy busy the next! I am so lucky working with the group that I work with…people are what makes your job great, not necessarily the job itself.

I was reading through some blogs that teachers write. Discipline has been a big topic lately and I want to discuss this a bit. Ryan and I are on the teachers side...no matter what. I will not have a child that disrespects athority...that is how I was raised and it is the RIGHT way. Hagen is pretty good for the most part. He listens in class and we rarely have issues. BUT I make sure to let his teachers know that we want to know anything that has been a problem and we will work on it at home as well. Hagen is not a napper…he is that kid in class that wakes up all his friends. Not yelling or anything but just talking, singing, rolling around, etc. I found out that his nap mat was way in the corner far away from the other kids. No one had said anything until one day he had a bad report saying that he did not sleep well and he was disruptive. Uh oh…that is when I found out that he hasn’t been very quiet at naps. SO, we started the sticker chart! If he got a good report for being quiet and resting (Napping is now a bad word) then he got a sticker…5 stickers in a week and we do something special! It worked and now he is quiet on his mat.

He recently moved up to the 3 year old class. There is a kid whose Mom has forced the school to move her kid up with Hagen even though he is 3 months younger and isn’t potty trained. She is “That” mom. AND she works for the school system. She called me the other night. This past week was the first full week in the new class. She was pissed because her son was put in “Chill Out”. She called, then texted, then called me again. I called her back thinking something was terribly wrong and this is the conversation:
Psycho Mom: “What is Chill out?”
Me: “basically time out”
PM: “why don’t I know about this?”
Me: “because I was talking about Hagen’s attitude problem and told them to let me know if he is talking back and to let me know if he is doing it at school so I can address it at home. They told me they do “chill out” which is like time out.”
PM: “well, they put my child in chill out and he was not able to color his “H” (it was the letter of the week) and when I asked him why his wasn’t colored he said he had to sit in chill out because he was crying.”
Me: “well, and what’s the problem?”

She has done these phone calls numerous times. She knows she is neurotic…this time I confirmed to her that she needs to go to “chill out”. She started laughing and I said, “No, I’m serous…you need to trust them”. I told her that if she is that mad about Chill Out that she has a lot more coming when he grows up because right now they are still “babies” and the teachers love on them and cut them a lot more slack then when they go to real school. She agreed and has not even looked me in the eye since then. By the way, this is the same girl that called 2 hours before our New Year get together was going to start to say that they will in fact swing by…I told her that we canceled it. Some people…ugh…

Hagen got to take cupcakes to school for his birthday and insisted on wearing a cone “Happy Birthday” hat. It was tilted to the side so he was looking a lot like Jack from Jack in the Box. He was SO proud! He told me in the car on the way to school that today was going to be a good day! Yes, it will be!

BUT, it didn’t start off too well. He was eating breakfast and I was drying my fuzzy hair. I turned off the dryer and heard him SCREAMING bloody murder! I just knew he fell out of his chair and broke something. I ran in there, his face was purple, crocodile tears streaming down his cheeks…AND…there was a fly on his hair. Yes, that was the problem. My manly man of a son is TERRIFIED of flies! He was petting a spider (thanks Ryan) last night but flies? Watch out! He was done eating. Thanks effing fly….someone has a weigh in on Tuesday (3 year well visit) and you freaked him out so much he doesn’t want breakfast…that was at LEAST a couple of ounces. I’m going to hunt you when I get home…smoosh you and put your remains in this hot Texas heat so you burn.

Tata,
Carrie

P.S. Hagen is growing up right before my eyes. Now that he has graduated to the 3 room, he hugs me at the door, kisses me, and walks right in and joins his friends for circle time. No whining, no crying…It’s almost like…HE DOESN’T NEED ME ANYMORE!! WHAAAAAA BOOO HOOO!!! But, it is nice having drop off take only a minute. I just wish he would hug me a little tighter or longer and look me in the eyes while holding my cheeks and say, “I miss you already Mama…you are the best and I can’t wait to see your skinny beautiful self come and get me after work…now go eat a donut…you are WAY too skinny!”

So I don't have much to blog about...been kinda spaced out lately! But had a few bits to share!

1. While Noah was staying with us, he was very good. Hagen is getting a bit bossy lately and at one point he yelled, "Noah Robinson, you are NOT being haved!!" It was just funny...do I sound like that?! I think so.

2. Ryan was laying on the floor in the living room wrestling with Hagen. Hagen stopped...froze...staring at Ryan's underarm. "Daddy, what's THAT?!" "It's Dapper Hair Hagen." "Oh, OK." Underarm hair grosses me out so bad! I mean, men should have it, but it is just nasty to me! So when Hagen found it I was just so grossed out if he were to grab it or point at it with his finger in his underarm...I may have just barfed up a bit...

3. Hagen is feeling alot better...but he is still out of control. It has been a trying weekend to say the least. Whiny, crying, uncooperative, just all around a pain in the butt. And that is just me. HAGEN was worse! I swear I saw horns poking out of his unruly hair yesterday.

That's it...pretty boring...

Tata,
Carrie

I had to go to a wedding and since I actually got dressed up a bit from the norm I had Ryan take a belly shot. I did these religiously with Hagen's pregnancy. I don't see it being as often this time! Hagen wanted to help.

Ryan and I were looking forward to date night on Saturday night. We don't get out often at all...

My parents are out of town so Nana was going to keep him overnight! Woo Hoo! But, we took Hagen to dinner on Friday night and he was a total monster. Out of control which he is usually pretty well behaved. AND it was Mexican food which he can eat his weight in hot sauce and chips. His behavior and runny nose had us heading to the Acute Kids Care. Nana has no immune system so she is really sick if she gets a cold or anything else. We were told that he tested for Strep...date night canceled.

So I headed out for the wedding...it was beautiful. Last of the high school girls to get hitched (Michelle Dickey for the ladies of PSHS). She married a wonderful man with 3 little boys (10, 6, and 4 I think). She is excited and scared all at the same time. These boys are just precious...very well behaved and obviously love her very much!

I found out last night that one of my friends that is pregnant (one of the ones I found out about a couple of weeks ago) has lost the baby...this is her 5th miscarriage. I'm so sad for her!

I pretty much ate and left. There was another buddy of mine that was pregnant and solo so we waited for our tables turn in line and ate and literally snuck out. Felt bad, but who misses the pregnant duds anyway! Ha!

Hagen is obviously still not feeling well as he is just incredibly crabby. AND Ryan and I were out in the yard yesterday and he wanted to watch a movie curled up on the couch. Hopefully today we can meet Noah at Papa & Pia's pool for a bit. Noah will not be there long because my OTHER brother Matt and his family will be heading over to Adam's house to meet Baby Emily. I want to spy so bad and see those beautiful kids of his (Madeline is 7 and then the identical twin boys are about to turn 6). It's been 2 1/2 years since I've seen them...boo.

Hagen will be 3 in 8 days...wow...

Tata,
Carrie

OK, so this is short and sweet. Hagen called Ryan a Poo Poo head last night. Ha! HAHA! Ryan told him that was not a nice thing to call someone so Hagen changed it to Pee Pee Head. Ryan again told him that was not a nice thing to call someone, so Hagen finally settled on Medicine Head. Uh, OK...that's better.

I find this hilarious! BUT probably because it is not a TERRIBLE bad word, but I still wouldn't want him talking like that at school or to anyone else so I guess discipline is in order. Sassy Sauce may be in our future.

I remember my Mom telling me that my older brother once called her a Dirty Nose Mouth. Awesome...is that not the best?!

Kids are funny...
Carrie

I have nothing, but feel guilty for not posting! Here are some little posts:

• I need to stop showing Hagen the 3D sonogram picture…OR at least telling him “doesn’t it look like a puppy?” I think poor baby is having nightmares about the picture. The other night he was up ALL.NIGHT.LONG having horrible dreams! When I asked him about it the next morning he said there were mean doggies barking at him in his room. Sorry buddy!
  
• My belly is starting to pop out nice. You know, the rounded one. It is popping out a lot sooner than with Hagen and more in front. Hagen was more all around my mid section!
  
• Still LOVE peperoncinis…but also love cheese, lemonade, etc. Not very hungry which is weird. I just want snacks. When it is dinner time I have to force myself to eat for Hagen’s sake. We are big on eating at the table as a family…
  
• I want a beer.
  
• Had to have a co-worker’s 13 year old daughter shadow me today for career day and I think I bored her to tears. I was so nervous about it! I gave her way too much information…I just know I did…I gave her lots of breaks though too.
  
• Hagen’s birthday party is in 2 ½ weeks and I’m nervous! I have a petting zoo, hotdogs, and cupcakes planned. Now, how am I supposed to do some kind of a schedule?! Should I just say eat when you want! Animal poop on your hands and all!
  
• Hagen was a butthole this morning so he sat in solitude and ate his breakfast by himself with no Mickey Mouse. He was quiet, I felt bad, not good. He was not listening so he doesn’t get to watch Garfield while I cook dinner either. AND it is raining so he is going to be glued to my hip while I cook.
  
• I am going to a wedding on Saturday night which would be SO fun if I could drink…it is one of those weddings. Now I just don’t want to go. How pathetic!! I don’t even drink that much when I’m not pregnant! But Nana is keeping Hagen overnight and it would be a perfect night of partying! Ryan is excited because he has a DD…punk.
  
• Our Garden is doing so well! Now we need to figure out the right way to harvest!
  
• Hagen moved up to the 3 year old class this week (sniff sniff). He is so excited because Ms. Kim’s class has 4 slides! Can you believe it! 4!!!
  
• I could have set my house on fire the other night I was so ticked off at all the occupants.
  Dapper – snoring, got kicked out of the room
  Chloe – would NOT leave my head alone! Would NOT share my pillow! Got kicked out
  Ryan – snoring…not loud but enough to vibrate the bed and I was so irritated
  Hagen – dreaming of demented puppies and crying all night
  I went to sleep on the couch and the dang dog was snoring so he got locked back in the bedroom, cat was sharpening her “claws” (she has none) on a box so she got locked back in the bedroom, and poor Hagen was screaming crying about rabid doggies.

That about all! Sorry it was lame!

Carrie

Hagen is on CLOUD.NINE.

Rebecca's Grandmother passed away so we are keeping Noah again while my brother, Rebecca, and 3 week old baby Emily go to NJ for the funeral. Noah is 2 and that just doesn’t sound like fun taking a 2 year old to a funeral. Actually sounds TERRIBLE! Rebecca is just torn apart. She was close to her Grandmother and was planning on flying to see her this week so she can meet Emily...Grandma wasn't doing so well and the clock was ticking...and then she passed. Rebecca is being VERY hard on herself and is just so sad right now. Poor thing...

Hagen and I got Noah from school yesterday and I swear the song "reunited" was playing in my head. They love each other. Poor Noah was dressed in a Tie Dye dress (huge t-shirt) due to an accident at school. Sweet Noah calls Hagen "Reagan" and me "My Carrie"...he is truly a sweet and cute little boy!

Hagen ran into the house to gather snack bowls and snacks (Noah got 100 calorie pack of nutter butters and Hagen got goldfish) I’m not sure why he didn't get them both the same thing...oh well. Then we went on a ladybug hunt outside! We got 4!!

There was one "bonk". Noah got bonked in the noggin by the bug box during a tackle Ryan game. Poor baby. THEN my little man didn't want to say sorry even though it was an accident. He finally gave up and apologized and all was good.

I love that we live 2 miles from each other, the boys are so close, and this baby and Emily will be close also.

OK, so I have another name in the mix. Well, we have 2...Merrilee Grace (my best friend in the whole wide world is Merrilee) and then the new one Hazel Grace (Coco, I know you are kinda excited). Grace is the middle name of my Great Grandma Hazel Grace Adams. She was the SWEETEST person alive! She lived with us until the day she died and was what we all want to be like when we are old and can no longer take care of ourselves. She would eat ANYTHING you would put in front of her, she wanted to help around the house so she would get the mail and let the yorkies out to potty, and she would watch anything on TV...and not talk to you when it was your show. SO SWEET!

The night before she died, the cowboys won the super bowl, she unpacked her bags into our dressers in her room, she gave my brother Great Grandpa's ring, and "settled". It was a big moment for her as I think she felt homeless...but she knew that we wanted to take care of her for the rest of her life and got settled. She went to sleep that night and stayed asleep. Man, isn't that how you want to go?! Just drift off to sleep...

I'll be honest, always LOVED the name Grace...but Hazel? I wasn't too fond of it. BUT I have mentioned it to a few people about where Grace came from and they look at me like I’m insane for not doing Hazel Grace...Hazel Grace Darney...hmmm...Hagen and Hazel...pretty cute...like Hansel and Gretel...

Tata,
Carrie

I have always envisioned myself having 2 boys. So I kept each and every bit of clothing that has laid upon Hagen's little body (I do mean little...I weighed him the other day and he is a whopping 24 pounds...he will be 3 on the 31st of May). Every t-shirt (even the ugly ones Ryan got him last minute at Wal-mart), every sock even if it doesn't have a match, every thing.

I got those huge Ziploc bags that you suck the air out of with the vacuum. I had 7 extra large ones and it was time to go through them. I opened the first one and pulled out a camo swankie blankie...one that he never even held let alone looked at...and I bawled...like a baby I just cried and cried. Ryan thought I was possessed and snuck downstairs to fix the oven. The thought of getting rid of his stuff whether he used it or not was so hard for me!!

There were a few things that I had to keep. A preemie outfit that was my favorite of his when he was new. It was a cute little sun suit...blue and white gingham. Here it is below. I took a picture of it with my foot to show you how tiny it is!!

I threw away anything that I would be embarrassed to pass down and the rest I separated...alot. Winter and Summer of course, then short sleeve t's, long sleeve t's, shorts, matching sets, one piece outfits, swim suits, long pants, long sleeve button downs, etc. etc. It was ridiculous. I pulled out some newer PJ's to keep at Papa and Pia's house for those last minute bath sessions etc. and Hagen's old cloth swim diapers for them to keep at their house with the pool. I will keep it piled on the guest bed in their little piles for a few years until I decide to part with them. Check it out:

Hagen was ICKY SICKY on Thursday night. I picked him up from school and we were on our way to swimming. He was very quiet but excited about swimming lessons. He “gets” it now and knows how so it is fun. Anyway, we get there and he is just acting weird. I was talking to another Mom and he was franticly saying he needed to go big potty. I ran him in there and he unloaded (I’ll leave it at that…you are welcome Casey). Thank the lord the baby is potty trained because it would have been a disaster in a swim diaper...OK, I'm done Case. I came out and told the teacher that we are just going to go home and he doesn’t feel well.

On the way home he started whimpering. I was on the phone with my Mom and I asked him if he was OK, and he started crying a bit and then he did it. While I was at a stop light with nowhere to turn he projectiled all over my car…a few times. He was crying, I actually yelled MOMMY to my mother through the phone, I didn’t know what to do. I pulled over to a bank and got him out. I striped him down to nothing in the parking lot and gave him a whores bath with dried out baby wipes I had in the car (note to self: put new wipes in the car) and cleaned out as much as I could.

Ryan is a very helpful and loving father but there is one thing the Mr. doesn’t do…vomit. I understand so I told him that I would take care of it if he would just bathe the baby. I cleaned up my car as best I could and high tailed it to the car wash. Damn, they close 5 minutes ago…they would have loved me to get there just before closing with a vomit smelling car!

Anyway, I called his school to inform them and 4 others got sick that afternoon so it was probably something they ate, but I kept him home on Friday to be sure…I’m a good mom that way. He was fine on Friday. We took Ryan Schlotsky’s to work and picked him up and went and parked by a park, opened the hatch back and had a picnic.

On Saturday we went shopping with Papa, Pia, Adam, Rebecca, Noah, and Emily while Ryan worked and got the baby girl a little sweet pea gown to come home in. So cute! Well, we came home and it was almost time for dinner and Hagen said he wanted to go to bed without a book, vitamin, or brushing his teeth. Weird?! He is very night night ritual focused so this is not good. I got him to bed and was singing him a song and he started whimpering again…said he was going to “frow-up”. I grabbed him and just made it to the bathroom. It was terrible. I got him in the bath and cleaned up the mess all while acting like it was no big deal (while I’m dry heaving). Get him to bed and Ryan comes home. I tell him I am in a foul mood and steer clear. I grabbed my pepper jar and headed off to bed to rent a movie. (for the record, I didn't finish the jar...I drank most of it and ate quite a few, but not the whole thing....still no stomach issues. Isn't that weird?!)

I don’t understand these viruses sometimes? He was fine on Mother’s Day and this morning. I hope it is just random…because he was with Noah and 2 week old Emily on Saturday. I would feel TERRILBE if they got sick!

Tata,
Carrie

The Day that I became a Mother is one that I will never forget. I was induced, a bit nervous at the unknown, etc. It was honestly the easiest thing I have ever done (thanks to good drugs at good timing). I never felt an ounce of pain. I felt a cramp...not even a bad one and asked for the epidural. It was smooth sailing and a handful of pushes and it was done. Perfect...absolutely perfect.Hagen, you were such a good baby. You rarely cried, you were not demanding, you slept good, etc. Thank the lord you were because unknown to me I was suffering from Post Partum. I was embarrassed about it because we had tried for years to have a baby, did the drugs, shots, etc. to have you and then you were here and I was suffering. However, it was not really bad PPD. I do remember all of your baby days, I remember how much you were loved, how easy going you were/are, and I didn't dread any moment. I was just feeling different than I thought I would.

One thing that was difficult to handle when I couldn't get pregnant was going to the mall. It was full of new Mom's with their beautifully dressed babies strolling around. It was torture for me...I couldn't take it. SO, once you were here we spent alot of time at the mall...most of the time not buying anything but just walking around feeling like I was finally in the club and I belonged. Stupid I know, but I also know that people out there that want to have a baby know what I am talking about...no matter if you have been trying for a month or years it is tough if it doesn't happen RIGHT then when you are trying.

You are so sweet, caring, loving, smart, EASY going, understanding, helpful, just perfect. You recently found out you are going to be a big brother and you are so excited. You got the baby a giraffe that plays music the other day and placed it in the crib that your little sister will sleep in. Yesterday you got it and put it up to my tummy and played her some music. It was really sweet. Mama and Pia got her coming home gown yesterday as well. It is a sweet little Kissy Kissy gown. Pia will be making a pink hat to match of course. She will be darling just like you!

Daddy was telling you yesterday that it was Mother's Day and you need to tell me Happy Mother's Day in the morning! Here is the conversation:
Hagen: "I don't have a Mother."
Daddy: "Yes you do...Mama is your Mother."
Hagen: "Ohhh...OK"

You didn't know that Mother and Mama were the same thing.

You and your Daddy cut roses from our bushes in the yard and put them in a vase for me, got me and egg McMuffin AND chocolate donuts, and got me a couple of cards. Daddy started the laundry and is hanging some things around the house including a new picture thing for your room. I am honored to be your Mama...I love you more than all the stars in the sky!

Love,
Mama

Hagen has been taking refresher lessons to his "drowning lessons" last year. He started last week and it wasn't very pretty...but this week it is like it clicked! Watch:

He did so well that the teacher asked him if he wanted to go down the slide. I was very curious as to what he would do after in the water. To my amazement he flipped over to take a breath and then swam to the steps! Wonderful! I highly recommend these swim classes.

Mama is so proud of you Hagen! AKA Bruce the Shark (from Nemo)

Love,

Mama

So, I went to the doctor on Tuesday and it was to check for abnormalities. I am of “Advanced Maternal Age” which is the nice way of saying I am a geriatric pregnant girl so the risks are higher for abnormalities. Ryan and I did this testing with Hagen just to be prepared if there was something different. I was stoked because this is the test that told me EARLY on that Hagen was more than likely a boy!

Ryan was sweet and said my Mom could come. So, Mom and I went to Patrizio’s for lunch beforehand. I got soup and salad and then screwed that healthy eating up and got a piece of flourless chocolate cake and ate the whole thing. I guess I forgot about the weigh-ins?! I told the nurse it was only fair to take 3 pounds off because that cake was big and probably 3 pounds…maybe 4.

Anyway, we get called in and I immediately tell the sono girl that I will not be leaving without an estimated guess…I know it is just a guess and if she is wrong I will not hold it against her.

That baby was moving all over the place! It was kicking, bouncing, just crazy…that’s what we like to see for sure! She did all of her measurements and all looks good so far…ok, let’s take a peek. That baby froze and had its legs straight up in the air (like Mama) and had them kinda closed (not like Mama). But, we thought we saw a white mushroom…which would mean boy! Yeah! It’s another boy! Wonderful news and we are so excited. She wasn’t sold on that…she didn’t feel comfortable with her decision. She was poking at my belly, doing everything she could to move the tadpole and then she said, wait I see 3 lines. I think it’s a girl. We said, yeah! It’s a girl! Wonderful news and we are so excited! We never did see the mushroom again…just kept seeing what looked like a pecan…or 3 lines.

She spent a lot of time scoping things out and finally said I am 80% sure it is a girl. I’m in shock. I just knew I was going to have 2 boys…I’ve never thought of myself with a girl. Plus, my older brother has a girl and two boys, my younger brother has a boy and a girl, and what were the odds of me having one of each too…slim to none in my opinion. We are so excited though! What a true blessing it is to have one of each. Most people that I know have one or the other…it is rare to have one of each.

We told Hagen that night that he was going to be a big brother. We want confirmation on what it is later before telling him that. He had a great idea! The baby can sleep in his old crib! Man, that is one sharp boy…AND…he said that it can take a bath in his bathtub with him! How generous…I hope he doesn’t try to drown her. When we told him he looked at me and squinched his nose and said, “Mama? You have a baby in your belly?!” He is now kissing my belly and his daddy’s belly before he leaves for school…Daddy needs to squat down a bit more because it is kinda disturbing me where Hagen’s aim is. It’s not RIGHT THERE but pretty close! I will post the “breaking the news to big brother” video when the laptop is healed…it is getting healed today.

Tata,
Carrie

P.S. My craving? Peperoncini’s…not just the peppers, the juice and all! It is not hurting my stomach AT.ALL. This morning while Hagen was eating his breakfast, I grabbed the jar out of the fridge, hid in the pantry and drank the juice…ALL OF IT. Down the hatch. I cannot get enough. Someone on facebook said I need to name her Pepper…not a bad idea.

SO much to post about...my little man swimming like a shark...that we are more than likely having a girl...breaking the news to Hagen becoming a big brother...just tons of stuff. BUT, our laptop has a virus...TERRIBLE timing! I am so busy at work which is always good but don't have time for an update. Just wanted to share that little bit of news!!

Carrie