Honestly, I felt so out of control last week. I was so emotional...like could not get a grip emotional! I think I was dealing with PMS. Don't laugh, I really don't have it (or not so much that I have ever noticed it).

I ignored Ryan for a couple of days...very mature I know. But I couldn't help it! We finally sat down and had a little date night on Thursday and it helped alot. I said that when I first approached him about not wanting him to go hunting that I wasn't saying things right...I finally just simply said, "We miss you and want you home more." He said OK and that was it.

I did tell him that Hagen is getting older and is needing/wanting to spend more time with him. He suggested taking him on his hunting trips. I said that would be fine. So Hagen and Ryan are now turkey hunting in May...Hagen will LOVE waking up at 5:00AM! NOT! That post will be a true winner.

Hazel...she is sleeping beauty! Honestly! I have never known a baby (except a newborn) that sleeps as much as she does! Here was her weekend:
Friday night - in bed at 7:00

Saturday:
Woke her up at 10:00
Nap 12:00 - 4:00ish
Bed at 7:00

Sunday:
Woke her up at 10:30
Nap: 1:30 - 5:00
Bed at 8:00

So basically she was up for 5 hours on Saturday and 6 on Sunday...is this odd? I mean should I let her sleep that long? She doesn't nap at school and it is like she makes up for it on the weekends.

Last week when she had the random fever Mom had her one day. Mom had to go to a dentist appointment by my office so she brought Hazel to work! I was so excited to show her off! She was quiet and sweet but would NOT smile for anything. She is so serious!

This weekend was a nice weekend! We had a birthday party but other than that we did lots and lots of yard work. Tell you what, I am in indoor girl but I love pulling weeds! I mean, like really love pulling weeds! I pulled tons of them and then we planted some shrubs and ground cover in areas. The yard is looking good!

With the TX heat starting up I am getting concerned about Hazel facing backwards in her car seat. She is not 20 pounds yet and I won't flip her, but the other day she was in the car for about 20 minutes...I had the AC on high, and when we got home and I got her out she was sweating...like alot! I hate these laws but understand them and will follow the rules. This TX heat doesn't help though!!

Carrie

So, Ryan and I hardly argue...not bragging, just a fact. BUT there is one thing that I have been stewing about for awhile and I just broke down last night! I had HAD.IT. I wish I didn't let things fester to the point that I am just pissed and bitchy, but I did it...and I feel bad...but I am still livid.

Let me preface this with Ryan is a great father and husband. I am very lucky to have him and life is good. When he is home he is very focused on us and the kids, and that is why this is bothering me so much.

Ryan has been traveling alot for over a year now. Last year it started when Hazel was only 9 weeks old. BUT this was a good move for him and his career and I completely support him and his career. His company was being acquired and he needed to really prove that he was a valuable employee which he has and continues to do.

Sometimes he is gone during the weekends...sometimes he comes home on Sunday around lunchtime (which I don't consider that being home on the weekend). I truly don't mind the weekday travel because I have my own routine and my work...the weekends are what get to me.

He had a turkey hunt that was planned that I was unsure of the actual date. Well, my friend and I FINALLY nailed down a date that she and I could get away for the weekend. It happened to be on the same date as his turkey hunt. I told him that I need to get away and his hunt will have to be canceled (I never tell him to do that). He did...

Yesterday he called to say it had been rescheduled for the end of May. I lost it...

Last night we sat down to discuss it and it didn't go well. I was so irritated that I was kinda being irrational...BUT...he wasn't seeing my side at all.

He thought that I was basically saying "I don't like you traveling for work"...I wasn't saying that at all. He said, "that's it...I'm not traveling for work anymore...I said when it became a problem at home I will stop".

What I am saying is that he kinda HAS to travel for work which is OK, but I think until Hagen is old enough to go with him hunting/fishing he needs to put his hunting/fishing on hold. I want him home! I feel alone! It kinda hurts my feelings when he IS traveling for work and on the side planning get aways with the guys.

Again, Ryan is pretty perfect when it comes to husbands. This is not a huge problem...we just do NOT see eye to eye on it and it is bringing me down...like way down...like on the verge of tears yesterday and today.

:(
Carrie

So yesterday after taking Hazel to the doctor I went through the MacDonald's drive thru for a Happy Meal to take with her to Pia's house for the afternoon. When I was pulling into the drive thru, a lady and 3 kids were walking in front of my car...I noticed it was my brother Matt's kids and their Grandma! You know, the brother that has disowned us? Like Haven't seen the kids in 4 years? Yep, those kids.

I recognized the grandma first and then my heart sunk and I realized that my sweet nephews and niece were there too...

I whiped out my phone and took a picture like a stalker.

I was so close to those kids and then was completely cut out of their lives. The boys were 2 1/2 and the girl was 5...I bet they don't know me anymore...to be honest, I don't know them either.

Pisses me off...

Carrie

Hazel LOVE it! OK, maybe not. Poor baby will be having nightmares for the rest of her life. Hagen, well he was so very brave and trying to get Hazel to not be scared but a few hits from her and he stopped trying. "Mom, is there time out for Hazel here with the EB?"

Ryan was to be home Saturday night around 7:30 so I loaded up the kids and headed to the mall for lunch and EB visit. My SIL met me there with Emily and it ended up being a 5 hour outing at the mall! Hagen was SO good! Hazel and Em were too but they were in strollers. Hagen had to walk and was so much better than I would have been at his age. We ate lunch, shopped, ate lolly pops and it was SO fun!

We came home and I was planning on keeping the kids up but Hazel was zonked out. I laid her down for a 1 hour power nap and then got her up to eat. The kids took baths and then we waited for Daddy to come home! He had been gone for 12 days and we were all excited for his arrival!

We had date night on the porch after the kids went to bed and it was wonderful...we just solve the worlds problems out there.

On Sunday I went to Kristen's (Ryan's sister) to help Ashlyn clean her room. They put the house on the market and had a showing at 1:00. We worked HARD and it was perfect! The house is more organized than I have ever seen it. Ash and I went to lunch and then hung out with Ryan and the kids until she could go back. It was nice to hang out with her. I am worried about her dealing with so much...graduating HS, going to college where none of her friends are going, leaving behind her BF, parents divorce, etc....so much stress for her.

Friday night the kids and I went to eat at Adam and Rebecca's and the kids had smores! They loved it! Hazel and Emily even got to "roast" marshmallows in the smoke from the fire that was out. Such sweet cousins...

************************
Just got back to work after receiving a call from Hazel's school that she has a fever. Picked her up and took her to doctor. 101 fever and nothing else!! Grr! I almost wish they said, "Wow, she has the plague and here is an antibiotic and a miracle shot...should be good to go in an hour!" ...but with the random fever I can't take her to school until she is fever free for 24 hours! Hagen had a fever virus when he was her age and I missed a WHOLE.WEEK of work!! Pia has her today and Ryan will stay with her tomorrow...thank the lord!

Wish me luck!
Carrie

First and foremost, Hagen has been taking Hazel on rides around the backyard on his 4 wheeler...she LOVES it! He is so sweet with her and puts it on the slowest speed and is very careful with her.

I have been so busy with work lately and have had this cloud above my head about posting...it has been haunting me! Lots to update and the only feasible way is bullet points. Here we go!

1. Ryan will be home tomorrow night FINALLY! He has been out of town for 12 days. I truly don't mind him traveling, but what is hard is the weekends. That is when I have to get stuff done around the house like laundry and grocery shopping and it is easier to do when there are two of us. I have a routine during the week and of course the break of working is a huge help!!

2. Hazel has gotten a bad report this week at school. She is now not only hitting but BITING!! She bit 3 friends in one afternoon! So hard that she left marks! I have started putting her in timeout and she just sits there...quietly. She is good about it but I don't think she fully understands she is being punished?!? It's in the dining room...nothing around her and it is kinda dark.

3. Summer clothes - I have been buying dresses and stuff for Summer and next Winter for Hazel for awhile now. I come across sales and find the cutest things and girls are easier to buy in advance. I stopped because I counted and I have 25 NEW outfits for summer for her not including things I already had from last summer that were too big!! Hagen? He has 3 t-shirts and 4 pairs of shorts. Poor boy...so I am now on Hagen mode. He is easy though!!

4. My family member that is going through a tough time is getting stronger and stronger everyday! She has finally realized that he is not good for her AT.ALL and is moving forward. I am so proud of her! She is doing really well!

5. A few weeks ago Hagen was studying presidents at school. He said, "George Washington is the president that makes granola bars" I asked him why he thought that and he said, "look, his picture is on the package!" It was the Quaker dude...

6. I bought Hagen some books that are first reader books. I am SO excited! He is really into reading (although he really can't yet) and they have been working hard in school on sight words. I get sight words from his teacher and we make flash cards and work on those. At night when I read to him he wants to try and then asks for help on certain words. Now the cutest? He is reading to Hazel at night. Her books are pictures of things with the words at the bottom so he is not "technically" reading, but it is sweet. Brown Bear is the new favorite. She just smiles at him as if she is saying "you are my hero".

7. My brother and SIL are having another baby! Baby #3! They have a boy and a girl so they are not finding out what this one is which is so exciting! I am going to guess a boy...no reason, just a hunch and Hagen also said boy and he is usually right.

8. A few weeks ago I drove my SIL, and 2 nieces down to Austin to check out Texas state. It was nice to get away! To be honest, I think I enjoyed it WAY too much as I drank like a college student! I had never really hung out with Ryan's cousin Shannon and that is who we stayed with. We were up till 4:00AM!! Sad thins is I woke up at 7:00 and was wide awake...I can not sleep in anymore!

9. Hazel still isn't talking much...while I was on the trip my parents were watching her (Ryan was out of town surprise surprise) and I called. Mom had me on speaker so she could hear my voice. For the first time I heard her say "hi" in the sweetest most angelic voice I have ever heard! It was clear as day and she said it a few times. She is trying REALLY hard to talk...just not there yet...I am totally fine with that.

10. Pink eye invaded our house! Hagen had it SO bad in both eyes! I felt bad because usually I am very smart about not taking sick kids to school...I never really do it! That morning I noticed he had goopy eyes but they weren't red. I took him to school and before I left the director said she thinks he has pink eye. She said if I needed to run to the office for a few hours I could. I went to sonic to get my tea and then was going to go in for a few hours, but I couldn't...I felt SO bad for being THAT parent. I went to get him and took him to the doctor...

11. One night while I was giving Hazel a bath, Hagen wanted to fix my hair. He was so gentle and I LOVED it...I swear I could have fallen asleep. He told me how beautiful I was afterwards which was icing on the cake. I think he was just admiring his job...not me.

That's about it! I am planning my perfect beautiful home on Pinterest...I have so many ideas but can't put them together in a CHEAP way! I need to start saving for college for the kids after I saw how much it is now! Geez...I feel behind.

Tata,
Carrie