Hagen, you are such a doll!  Your Daddy and I prayed for you for a long time.  I did not consider myself one that prayed much until I tried to have a baby...I believe in the power of prayer now!  I also think that God's timing in life is planned out for the best.  If we were to have you when I first wanted to get pregnant I would have been stuck at a TERRIBLE job and probably wouldn't feel comfortable to leave.  When you came and were 2 1/2 weeks old I lost my contract and had to look for something else...it ended up that I found the PERFECT thing for a working Mom...God's timing is good Hagen...trust in that.  This picture is of you when you were one...You had just started to KINDA walk.
 We knew we wanted another baby...I mean when you have one that is as great as you who wouldn't.  So we tried again.  But...God's timing wasn't what we wanted...we started trying when you turned one.  It will be another 2 years before we can tell you "You are going to be a big brother"...but when you were older you actually understood and were excited!  Your name is special...your Daddy picked out "Hagen" before we even started trying...I wasn't sure about it.  But after we found out what you were I said I didn't care.  Your Dad named you all by himself...your middle name is your Pap-Pap Darney's name...He would get a big kick out of you that's for sure.  The pic below is when you were 2...
 You are emotional, sweet, sensitive, and are only really rough when you are playing with your Dad.  Otherwise you are gentle.  You Love your sister...so proud of her...you like to show her off to your friends even though she is turning into that bratty little sister...you don't care, you love her still.  We went to your new school last week and you LOVE it!  You met the principal, heard a story, and got to see your new classroom.  When you arrived at the school and were greeted by the teachers and principal you introduced yourself...I was shocked that during story time they would call on kids by pointing at them because they didn't know names...except you...they remembered your name.  Juliette was with you too...both of you are so excited to go to the same school together...I still think it is fate.  :)  You are 3 in the picture below...
 Your best friend by far is your cousin Noah.  You have lots of friends and so does Noah, but when something exciting happens he is the first one you mention to want to tell.  You went on your first hunt/fishing trip with your daddy recently.  I cannot even explain how much fun he had taking you.  He was nervous you wouldn't have fun (and let's be honest, he wouldn't be either) but the two of you had a GREAT time and he can't wait to take you again.  He let you shoot a real gun for the first time (I didn't know about it) and was so proud.  He actually wants to take you fishing for a bit this weekend.  You are 4 in the photo below...
 This year has been big...you are doing well at T-ball too!  It is a step up from t-ball in that the coach pitches and if you are having trouble then they bring the "T" out.  You are also doing swimming lessons and love it!  You need to listen more and not just talk about anything...you like to tell stories!  You are 5 in the picture below...
Your Daddy is out of town and is bummed to miss your actual birthday so I am trying to make it as special for you as I can!  Last night you got to sleep with me...I got to remember you kicking my belly when I was pregnant with you because you kicked me all night.  When you woke up you said your legs hurt and it was probably because you were growing to 5!  I think you have some growing pains going on.  You are spending the day with your Nana and then I will pick you up and we'll go to Papa and Pia's for dinner and Cake.

Last night before bed you were so happy..I asked you what you were thinking about and you said, "I'm so excited to be 5!  I've been waiting so many years for it!  Like...pause...5 whole years!!!"

I love you so much Hagen James...you are such a good person...I can't wait to see what your future holds for you!

Love,
Mama

Please tell me I'm not the only Mom in the universe that wants to spend Mother's Day alone?  Please?

I woke up and Hagen has drawn me a picture of him and I together and spelled out "Happy Mother's Day".  I absolutely LOVE that he is drawing pictures of people and things I can actually recognize!  The first time I saw a picture of me that he drew I just melted.  I had a circle above my head and I thought it was a halo but it was my hair bun!  Ha!  He calls it my donut hair.

I took the kids to my parents to give Pia her card and picture and to hang out for a bit while Ryan fixed the sprinkler head in the back yard.  Papa and Pia have 2 hawks living in their trees so we spent some time checking out the nests way far up into the trees! When we got home the kids ate and then took naps and so did I! 

Ryan then took the kids to him Mom's house around 3:00 to eat dinner etc.  They didn't get home until about 8:00!  I read (Fifty Shades of Grey) did ONE load of laundry and watched some of The Notebook while eating massive amounts of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.  It was SO relaxing...I really enjoyed the time alone.

THEN I get on Facebook and see all the outings everyone had with their kids and I feel like a mean Mom! 

Hagen and I had a conversation about when I officially became a Mom.  I told him that he made me a mom for the first time.  He had that cute little side smile beaming with pride.  I remember the first Mother's Day with Hagen...he was about 1 and was learning to walk...we were hanging out in the front yard.  I will never forget that day!

My first Mother's Day with Hazel Ryan sent me to the Spa!  Hazel has been my shadow...like SERIOUSLY.  she is like a mirror image of me doing exactly what I am doing at all times.  She follows me around like a little baby duck (and she is making animal sounds too so she is quacking).  She does her makeup, brushes her teeth (eats toothpaste), cooks, reads books (of course she doesn't know I'm reading Mama porn), and has even started putting my shoes on and walking around.

I am so lucky to have my babies.  I wanted them for so long it hurt. 

Love,
Carrie

 Hagen joined Ryan on a Turkey hunting trip.  The excitement for Hagen leading up to the big Man weekend was almost too much for him to handle.  He couldn't wait.  Ryan and I were kinda nervous as to how he would do.  My biggest concern was snakes...they are pretty bad this year!
 Would Hagen be able to sit still and quiet?  Would he crumble at the lack of sleep?  Would he get bored??
 Hagen AND Ryan had a blast!  Hagen caught 44 fish!  He just sat there and casted and caught fish like he had been doing it for years.  Ryan had been practicing with him in the backyard casting (without hooks) and this weekend was the first time he had an actual hook on it.  He was having so much fun!
 In some of the videos that Ryan took you can hear Ryan saying, "reel him in Hagen...that's good buddy...come on, you can do it!" and it almost brought tears to my eyes because you can hear the excitement in Ryan's voice and see the smile and pride on Hagen's face. 
Hagen also shot a real gun for the first time.  It was a 22 rifle.  Ryan picked a spot that was safe if a bullet ricocheted off the water.  It was a valuable moment in learning safety.  I was NOT raised around guns and quite frankly am not comfortable with them.  BUT Ryan has made me open my eyes to things.  People who are not familiar with guns are the unsafe people to be AROUND guns...they don't know the proper safety things.  Hagen was taught to hold a gun, walk with a gun, all with the safety being pounded into his brain.  Also, he learned to aim...then take the safety off right before he shoots. 

I hope this becomes a lifetime of good man weekends for my boys.  They both had a great time and Hagen is still on a hunting high.

Carrie