Have you ever had one of those weeks where all you seem to do is tear yourself down? Everything you do is never good enough; everything seems to be going wrong; and inevitably, you begin to feel a little worthless. I have had just one of those weeks this past week.
Nothing really shocking happened to me lately to bring on this pity party, it just happens sometimes. It has been somewhat of a stressful week with teaching, motherhood, and getting ready for the move. I haven't been the best mom this week. I feel like my patience hasn't really been there very much lately. It seems like every little thing Mikayla does bothers me. She is just being your average rambunctious two-year-old, but it has been a little too much to handle. Really, all I have wanted is a day to relax and rest up before the move. Instead I have gotten everything Satan has in his little evil hat thrown at me. I truly know that he knows our smallest wekanesses and uses them against us. He knows that my biggest weakness is myself, and he is happy to turn myself against the better part of me. Talk about some serious self-destruction!
Poor Jonathan has had to listen to me tear myself down all week. Naturally, I have counted on him to pick up the pieces. Poor Guy! As if he doesn't have enough on his plate! I began to think yesterday while I was at church about how I could cambat this inner battle. I feel like the best way to do this is to think about all the good things that are going on in my life. So, here it goes. I have a husband who treats me like a queen. We don't have a very large palace, but at least we have one right? I have two wonderful children who try me and test me. I only hope that I am getting better, not worse! I have a great extended family who are so willing to help whenever we are in trouble. Jon has a secure job in place, and we won't be homeless when he graduates. I was able to graduate college despite all the challenges, and I was even blessed with the opportunity to teach at the college for a year. We have made wonderful friends and connections while here in Rexburg; we have been so blessed by everyone around us! I have a Heavenly Father who is aware of me, even if I don't feel like he cares about me personally sometimes. I know that it is Satan that makes me feel this way.
Really, I could go on and on. I hope I am not the only woman out there who feels this way sometimes. Somehow, I need to find that ideal place in my mind where I am aware of my weaknesses, yet don't turn to despair at the thought of them. I think I am taking a step in the right direction though. Thanks for listening. Hopefully there is someone out there who needed to hear this as much as I needed to say it.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Poor Mikayla, Poor Andrew, Happy Easter!
This last week has been eventful in both good ways and bad ways. We started off the week with Mikayla getting sick. She had a really high fever, and a slight ear infection. Of course she let us know how horrible she was feeling, even when she started feeling better. Probably the funniest thing she did this week was pretend to vomit.
So, almost every time she gets sick, whether it be with a cold or anything else, she ends up throwing up. (I am convinced that she throws up all the time because Heavenly Father knows I hate it and is getting a few laughs at my expense) Anyway, she was laying in my bed (she always wants to lay in my bed with me when she is sick and watch Skrek), and she started to look a little green. She stopped eating and drinking, and that is usually a sure sign of the events to come. She has barfed in my bed so many times, I decided to try to prevent this from happening by anticipating when the barf fest would begin. I asked her if she felt like she had to throw up and she said, "Yes! I need to go barf in the toilet." Jon immediately grabbed her and rushed her to the bathroom at which time she proceeded to stand over the toilet and pretend to barf. She made all the right noises and then stopped for a minute. Jon then asked her if she was done to which she replied, "No, not yet." She then made a few more barf sounds and then said she was all done and flushed the toilet. Then she asked if she could brush her teeth afterward. I have to admit, she's got the barf drill down pretty good!
Right after she got better, Andrew decided it was his turn. While Mikayla lets everyone know when she is feeling ill, Andrew likes to keep his feelings to himself. I could tell he had a cold because he was sneezing a lot and his nose was running. He also kept spiking a low grade fever. I was keeping my eye on him though. He was acting just like he always does, happy, content, and smiley, when all of the sudden out of nowhere he decided to throw the biggest fit ever. He would not stop crying for like an hour, which is very unusual for him. He ended up crying himself to sleep. After he had fallen asleep my maternal instinct kicked in and I decided he needed to be checked out by a doctor. When we went there, he was totally content and his happy self again. Nonetheless, I wanted to make sure he didn't have an ear infection. Sure enough, he had a really bad on in his left ear. It was so bad that the doctor said he needed a powerful shot there to get ahead of the infection a little bit. So basically Andrew was almost about to go deaf in one ear because it was so bad, and didn't hardly make a sound about it. Mikayla had the tinniest little infection and was screaming bloody murder all week. It just cracks me up how Jon and I could produce such totally different children!
Well, then came Easter. it was a good day. The Easter bunny brought Mikayla tons of candy and Andrew some new bottles. (I know, very exciting, right?) Then we went to church and had a wonderful time celebrating what Easter is really all about. After church, I had my cousins over for a nice dinner and we had a nice long visit. Overall, it was an eventful week, both in good and bad ways!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Jonathan's Been Tagged!
I tagged my husband because I figured this is a family blog and yet he has not written one thing on it yet. I figured maybe some people might be interested in what he has to say, not just what I have to say about him. I really could have answered all of these questions for him, but I decided to make him do it himself because I am mean that way. He has informed me that he will not be tagging anyone in return because he doesn't really know anyone who blogs. Maybe you wives should make your husbands do it too, just to torture them!
1. What was I doing ten years ago?
Around ten years ago I would have just received my drivers licence. So I was probably spending my time driving around with my friends.
2. Five things on my to-do list today?
Since the day is almost over, this is my to do list for tomorrow: go enjoy classes from 7:45 to 4:15; try to find time to eat lunch.; come home from school and relieve Sarah from the kids so that she doesn't pull her hair out; eat some delicious grub that Sarah has made.; try to do homework while Mikayla draws on my paper (I turn in a lot of papers with Mikayla's art on them); put the kids down for bed ,then watch the high-light on ESPN to calm my nerves down; and finally throw my arms around Sarah while we watch a movie and eat popcorn and drink chocolate milk. (Okay, so that was basically my to-do list for everyday of my life here)
3. What snacks do I enjoy?
Popcorn
Swiss cake rolls
homemade cookies
4. What would I do if I were suddenly a billionaire?
A billion dollars? Wow that's being realistic! I would most likely make sure all my extended family and relatives are debt free, retire early and take Sarah on a long trip around the world, make sure our kids' college funds were taken care of, invest a good portion, and then give most of it to the humanitarian fund through the church. Oh, I almost forgot the most important item...I would also get season tickets to the Utah Jazz!
5. Three bad habits
biting my nails
clearing my throat all the time for no reason
taking pictures of Mikayla when she's crying (it sets her off)
6. Five places that I have lived
Ogden, UT
West Haven, UT
Houston, TX (mission)
Riverside, CA
Iceburg, ID
and soon to be Albuquerque, NM
7. Five jobs I have had.
News paper boy- deliverd news papers
Janitor for an elementry school- cleaned floors and toilets (this was my favorite obviously)
Joes Greenhouse-transplanted and sold plants
Artco-Inspected orders for shipping
Picture Perfect Construction (landscape company)-Assistent Project Manager (Actually Assistent to the Project Manager)
8. Five things people don't know about me.
I am pretty darn scared of jewelry. it makes me want to throw-up when I see someone put it in their mouth
I played G.I. Joes till I was 14, and then I noticed that nobody else played with them at that age. But I still have them. (and no I have not played with them since.) But I can't make any promises when Andrew gets older and wants to play with them.
I had never ridden a horse until I got engaged to Sarah.
When I was young I tried to wear shorts and a t-shirt under my church clothes, so that after church all I needed to do was to take of my church clothes and I was already dressed. I thought I was pretty clever. Might I suggest, if doing so do not wear a colored t-shirt or a shirt with writing on it. It somewhat shows through the white shirt. Let's just say it didn't take to long before my mom figured it out.
It may seem hard to believe, but I actually spent quite a bit of time in the Principal's office in Elementary school. My friends and I were rebels; at least by Utah standards. We loved to find ways to get the lunch ladies mad at us. Obviously it worked most of the time.
1. What was I doing ten years ago?
Around ten years ago I would have just received my drivers licence. So I was probably spending my time driving around with my friends.
2. Five things on my to-do list today?
Since the day is almost over, this is my to do list for tomorrow: go enjoy classes from 7:45 to 4:15; try to find time to eat lunch.; come home from school and relieve Sarah from the kids so that she doesn't pull her hair out; eat some delicious grub that Sarah has made.; try to do homework while Mikayla draws on my paper (I turn in a lot of papers with Mikayla's art on them); put the kids down for bed ,then watch the high-light on ESPN to calm my nerves down; and finally throw my arms around Sarah while we watch a movie and eat popcorn and drink chocolate milk. (Okay, so that was basically my to-do list for everyday of my life here)
3. What snacks do I enjoy?
Popcorn
Swiss cake rolls
homemade cookies
4. What would I do if I were suddenly a billionaire?
A billion dollars? Wow that's being realistic! I would most likely make sure all my extended family and relatives are debt free, retire early and take Sarah on a long trip around the world, make sure our kids' college funds were taken care of, invest a good portion, and then give most of it to the humanitarian fund through the church. Oh, I almost forgot the most important item...I would also get season tickets to the Utah Jazz!
5. Three bad habits
biting my nails
clearing my throat all the time for no reason
taking pictures of Mikayla when she's crying (it sets her off)
6. Five places that I have lived
Ogden, UT
West Haven, UT
Houston, TX (mission)
Riverside, CA
Iceburg, ID
and soon to be Albuquerque, NM
7. Five jobs I have had.
News paper boy- deliverd news papers
Janitor for an elementry school- cleaned floors and toilets (this was my favorite obviously)
Joes Greenhouse-transplanted and sold plants
Artco-Inspected orders for shipping
Picture Perfect Construction (landscape company)-Assistent Project Manager (Actually Assistent to the Project Manager)
8. Five things people don't know about me.
I am pretty darn scared of jewelry. it makes me want to throw-up when I see someone put it in their mouth
I played G.I. Joes till I was 14, and then I noticed that nobody else played with them at that age. But I still have them. (and no I have not played with them since.) But I can't make any promises when Andrew gets older and wants to play with them.
I had never ridden a horse until I got engaged to Sarah.
When I was young I tried to wear shorts and a t-shirt under my church clothes, so that after church all I needed to do was to take of my church clothes and I was already dressed. I thought I was pretty clever. Might I suggest, if doing so do not wear a colored t-shirt or a shirt with writing on it. It somewhat shows through the white shirt. Let's just say it didn't take to long before my mom figured it out.
It may seem hard to believe, but I actually spent quite a bit of time in the Principal's office in Elementary school. My friends and I were rebels; at least by Utah standards. We loved to find ways to get the lunch ladies mad at us. Obviously it worked most of the time.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I love my Family
A Picture of Love
Me with my new highlights and low lights
Me and my love
My sweet Mikayla
My lovely Andrew
Lately I have been reflecting a lot on how lucky I am. With the move coming, I guess I have been a little more sentimental than usual. I have been thinking about how much I am going to miss this place and all the people we have met here. Change is a good thing, but at the same time, I feel a little heartbroken. As I have been reflecting on everything, I came to realize that I am taking the best I have with me.
My husband. What can I say about him to do him justice. Sometimes I think that Heavenly Father must have created him for me. There is no one out there that is more perfect for me than he is. He never ever gets angry. Even when I am pregnant and temperamental, he always treats me with kindness. He has never raised his voice at me or said an ill word toward me. He gets me flowers all the time when I least expect it. He leaves little notes for me in my folders that I find at school when I am teaching. He walks to school many times when I need the car so I won't have to get dressed earlier than I need to. Even when he leaves the car for me, he leaves a few minutes early and clears all the snow off the car for me so I won't have to do it later. He gets up in the middle of the night to tend to the kids when I get too tired. I really could go on and on about him. He is the type of person that is so perfect and righteous that many times I feel unworthy to be married to him. He always makes we want to be a better person, just because of his example. I don't know what I would ever do without him.
My kids. I really don't know what to say about them either to do them justice. I am convinced that they were sent to me because I needed them. They really don't need me. I could tell from the day that they were born that they were special spirits. Mikayla pushes me to the limit. I have done more growing up since she's been born than in any time in my life. She stretches me physically and spiritually. She helps me to see my faults clear as day. She is so forgiving. Whenever I make mistakes with her and apologize, she literally forgets it and moves on. She has an unconditional love that we all need to have. She loves people and isn't afraid to step out of her comfort zone and enjoy life. She will smile and talk to almost anyone. She loves to follow me around and imitate everything I do. As much as it drives me crazy sometimes, i don't know what I would do without her.
Andrew is my little sweetheart. As you will see from the video down a little farther on the blog, he can melt your heart. He has so much energy, yet he is almost always content. He takes time to notice little things. He can sit and play with the same toy for a long time, just analyzing it and finding new uses for it. He is always happy. If you even look at him, he will smile at you. He loves to watch people, especially his mommy. He is the kid that always makes me feel like I am doing a pretty good job. Mikayla reminds me of everything I need to improve on, and Andrew constantly reminds me that I am doing some things right. They are like my "justice" and "mercy." When they are both together, I am always sure where I need to go and what I need to work on.
I think sometimes we spend so much time focusing on what we don't have and what our problems are that we start to ignore the things that are going right in our lives. When it comes down to it, family and the gospel are all that really matters. If things are going well in those categories, life is heaven on earth. (Of course, a little extra cash in my pocket wouldn't hurt either :)
The Mikayla Monster
I love both of my kids. This will give you an idea of how different they really are. (Compare with the video of Andrew) I love my crazy little Mikayla. With her, there is never a dull moment. By the way, this is Mikayla acting very mellow.
Andrew Smiling
This video is so adorable. I had to post it. This will give you an idea of what a sweet boy he really is. I know it may sound like I'm making it up, but he is like this all the time.
Follow-Up Jazz Pictures
Me and my honey going crazy
Deron Williams warming up
Us being psycho again
Jon freaking out when the Jazz scoreI dedicate these to Laurel!
Monday, March 10, 2008
...All That Jazz...
What is going down with this blog business. For some reason, I can't post more than one picture. I have been trying since yesterday, but to no avail. Anyway, it was an exciting weekend. My husband absolutely loves basketball. His favorite team is the Utah Jazz. Am I found of them, not really. That John Stockton was still wearing short shorts well after the era of short shorts had ended. But for some strange reason, my husband loves them.I decided to be a good wife and surprise him with tickets to a game this weekend. (I wish they had been playing the Lakers, but I couldn't arrange it.) It was actually a lot of fun. My in-laws were nice enough to watch the kids, so we made a nice long date out of it. We went to dinner, talked a lot on the drive down to Salt Lake, went to the game, got free loot for getting there early, and got to eat huge ice cream cones. The best part was watching my husband act like the big kid that he is. He wore his jersey I got him for Christmas, screamed and booed with the best of them, high-fived other fanatical fans, and cheered like crazy when the Jazz smashed the other team.
As for me, I got to eat ice cream, spend time with my true love, and try to hold my breath amidst the stinkiness of other sweaty teenage fans. Overall, it was fabulous. There is nothing that makes me more happy than seeing my husband happy; and he was a happy camper!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Accident Prone
I know it may seem like I am getting "post happy," but can I just tell you that I am the most accident prone person in the world. Yesterday was the worst day ever! I probably gave myself at least a dozen bruises just doing normal everyday stuff.
I woke up in the morning and got ready, then fell down in the parking lot when i was getting ready to drive to work. Then, while I was teaching, I hit my wrist really hard on the computer console (which made them laugh pretty hard by the way). Then I tripped three times over different students' backpacks and other junk.
When I got done teaching, I walked over to one of Jon's classes to get the car keys from him, and my bag that was swung diagonal across my shoulders and stomach completely fell down to my rear-end region in front of his whole class.
Later that same evening, I banged my same injured wrist on the dryer when I was moving clothes over, and then banged up my knee trying to climb over a gate into my daughters room. After all that, I stubbed my toes on our bed frame. I know you are thinking, "how can she remember all these injuries?" I'll tell you how, they all hurt really bad and left big marks!
To top things off, right before I was about to go to sleep, I reached for something on my night stand and then inadvertently knocked over a full glass of water onto the cell phone my parents are paying for me to use. And yes, it is officially fried. I wouldn't be afraid to tell them if I hadn't already ruined another cell phone back in October. I don't know why they thought they could trust me, the queen of accidents, to take care of a cell phone. And to think, God entrusted me with kids. They are doomed!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I've been tagged!
I never knew what this meant, but now Lauren decided to teach me. Gee thanks! So here it is! Here are some things you may not have known about me.
Here are the rules of tagging, complementary of lovely Lauren Hales!
A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B. Each player answers the question about themselves.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
1. What was I doing ten years ago?
I was probably counting down the days until I could go to stake youth dances. I don't know why, but in my adolescent mind, this was the end all and be all of the fourteenth birthday. I wasn't very cute either; all those lovely zits. I was in that stage where you don't exactely look like a child, just a weird looking adult.
2. Five things on my to-do list today
Go teach my class and try to do damage control from a debate that got out of control last week (good times), drive my cousin home, take Mikayla out to celebrate "big girl day" (no more sippy cup!), make dinner, and do the dishes.
3. What snacks do I enjoy?
Chocolate milk (It's a snack in my book)
Popcorn
Candy
4. What would I do if I were suddenly a billionaire?
That's a whole lot of money. Oh, I would pay off the student loans my husband and I have, get a bigger car, buy a house with a pool, set up college funds, give some to all of the extended family members, and then give the rest away to the church for building temples, feeding the hungry, and spreading the gospel.
5. Three bad habits
Biting my nails (I am getting better!)
Sticking hair that falls out during the shower to the shower wall
Constantly dwelling on my weaknesses
6. Five places that I have lived
Orange County, CA
Riverside, CA
Rexburg, ID
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Albuquerque, NM (Soon!)
7. Five jobs I have had.
Insurance Agency - Secretary
Pretzel Maker - I think it is pretty obvious what I did there
Artco - Commercial prepress representative
BYU-Idaho - Teacher
8. Five things people don't know about me.
I am really good at ski ball. I beat Jon almost every time we play.
I know I could drink up to three gallons of milk a week if we had unlimited funds and I somehow knew I wouldn't get fat.
My maiden last name was eleven letters long.
I absolutely can't stand throwing up or listening to anyone else do it. I truly mean it when I say I would rather have surgery!
It is really hard for me to open up to people about personal things. I am usually pretty guarded.
By the way, I tag my lovely husband Jon ( I know I am cheating!), Laurel, Jamie, Susan, and Amy.
Here are the rules of tagging, complementary of lovely Lauren Hales!
A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B. Each player answers the question about themselves.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
1. What was I doing ten years ago?
I was probably counting down the days until I could go to stake youth dances. I don't know why, but in my adolescent mind, this was the end all and be all of the fourteenth birthday. I wasn't very cute either; all those lovely zits. I was in that stage where you don't exactely look like a child, just a weird looking adult.
2. Five things on my to-do list today
Go teach my class and try to do damage control from a debate that got out of control last week (good times), drive my cousin home, take Mikayla out to celebrate "big girl day" (no more sippy cup!), make dinner, and do the dishes.
3. What snacks do I enjoy?
Chocolate milk (It's a snack in my book)
Popcorn
Candy
4. What would I do if I were suddenly a billionaire?
That's a whole lot of money. Oh, I would pay off the student loans my husband and I have, get a bigger car, buy a house with a pool, set up college funds, give some to all of the extended family members, and then give the rest away to the church for building temples, feeding the hungry, and spreading the gospel.
5. Three bad habits
Biting my nails (I am getting better!)
Sticking hair that falls out during the shower to the shower wall
Constantly dwelling on my weaknesses
6. Five places that I have lived
Orange County, CA
Riverside, CA
Rexburg, ID
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Albuquerque, NM (Soon!)
7. Five jobs I have had.
Insurance Agency - Secretary
Pretzel Maker - I think it is pretty obvious what I did there
Artco - Commercial prepress representative
BYU-Idaho - Teacher
8. Five things people don't know about me.
I am really good at ski ball. I beat Jon almost every time we play.
I know I could drink up to three gallons of milk a week if we had unlimited funds and I somehow knew I wouldn't get fat.
My maiden last name was eleven letters long.
I absolutely can't stand throwing up or listening to anyone else do it. I truly mean it when I say I would rather have surgery!
It is really hard for me to open up to people about personal things. I am usually pretty guarded.
By the way, I tag my lovely husband Jon ( I know I am cheating!), Laurel, Jamie, Susan, and Amy.
Monday, March 3, 2008
New Mexico, Here We Come!
I don't know if New Mexico can handle it, but we are coming! Jon recently accepted a management position at a landscape construction company out there. We are very excited! Although we have both never been there, we know it is where we are supposed to be.
These last few weeks have been torture for our family. Jon has been receiving some job offers these last few weeks, and it has been hectic to say the least. Between all the interviewing, visiting, asking questions, etc., I am just glad that part is finally over. It would have almost been easier if he had only gotten one offer so we wouldn't have to choose. I know I sound like I am complaining about something that is probably a blessing, but it sure complicated things!
Jon isn't the type that likes to tell people no. He is a people pleaser, so he kept saying he wished he could work for all of them just so he wouldn't have to call any of them back. Needless to say, that part is done now!
Now comes the new hard part of deciding where to live, reserving the moving truck, etc. Basically all the stuff I hate! I think we have found a nice place to live, and by the end of this week, we should know for sure if we were accepted to the complex. But, I am dreading the moving. Not many people know this, but in the four years that Jon and I have been marrried, we have moved seven times already. It has not been a picnic.
You know, we have been waiting for this time in our lives to come ever since we have been married, and now I am almost sad that it is here. The thought of leaving Rexburg, the place I have called my home for five years, is really hard for me. I am glad that we will be moving on with our lives, but part of me never wants things to change. Do you ever wish you could pack up everyone you have ever loved and put them in your pocket and take them with you? I wish for that all the time. It's hard leaving a place like Rexburg because you know that you probably will never see 99% of those people you met there ever again. Everyone graduates and then scatters, just like we are doing in a few weeks. I guess the grass really does always seem greener on the other side.
Anyway, that's what makes this blog stuff so great. Sometimes it almost feels like I can pack people up and take them with me, even it they're living on my computer screen.
These last few weeks have been torture for our family. Jon has been receiving some job offers these last few weeks, and it has been hectic to say the least. Between all the interviewing, visiting, asking questions, etc., I am just glad that part is finally over. It would have almost been easier if he had only gotten one offer so we wouldn't have to choose. I know I sound like I am complaining about something that is probably a blessing, but it sure complicated things!
Jon isn't the type that likes to tell people no. He is a people pleaser, so he kept saying he wished he could work for all of them just so he wouldn't have to call any of them back. Needless to say, that part is done now!
Now comes the new hard part of deciding where to live, reserving the moving truck, etc. Basically all the stuff I hate! I think we have found a nice place to live, and by the end of this week, we should know for sure if we were accepted to the complex. But, I am dreading the moving. Not many people know this, but in the four years that Jon and I have been marrried, we have moved seven times already. It has not been a picnic.
You know, we have been waiting for this time in our lives to come ever since we have been married, and now I am almost sad that it is here. The thought of leaving Rexburg, the place I have called my home for five years, is really hard for me. I am glad that we will be moving on with our lives, but part of me never wants things to change. Do you ever wish you could pack up everyone you have ever loved and put them in your pocket and take them with you? I wish for that all the time. It's hard leaving a place like Rexburg because you know that you probably will never see 99% of those people you met there ever again. Everyone graduates and then scatters, just like we are doing in a few weeks. I guess the grass really does always seem greener on the other side.
Anyway, that's what makes this blog stuff so great. Sometimes it almost feels like I can pack people up and take them with me, even it they're living on my computer screen.
My Cute Kiddies!
Don't ask me why, but she is always insisting on wearing here Halloween shirt, even though Halloween was like four months ago.
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