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I Am Here ...

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Week 13 Weigh- In...

All righty friends. It has been a great week for me. Monday morning I awoke feeling the itch of my "last minute workout" before my weigh-in with Dan at noon. I was of course worried because of my scary cookie fiasco the night before, and because I feel as if I could have done more.

I worked out my arms using free-weights. PAIN!!!

Then I went on a walk. Not just any walk though. Oh no. You know me. It was a greatly INTENSIVE walk. There are two insane hills partly behind my apartment complex. Normally I have my double stroller so this is the first time I swished and sashied my hips all on my lonesome.

I have to say:
1. I was somewhat lonely.
2. My hip shake-age was OUT of control!
3. This was my first time back to the "hills" since I was followed by some creeper.

Oh wait. I never told you about that did I? ...


About a month ago I was walking with my children to Dan and Rachel's (before their infamous move) making sure to move my hips to the rythm of my heart (wait... ex the heart part). When I had turned a corner some hispanic man was sitting in his SUV truck grinning at me. Needless to say the hip movement ceased until I was far away from the oogling eyes of said creeper.

On my way home I decided to go back the same route. And there sat "said creeper" waiting for me. Now I don't KNOW if he was waiting for me but what followed was still scary. As I passed his black dodge durango he slowly pulled out behind me. I slowed down and stopped. He stopped. I started walking ... more quickly. Yup you got it- he sped up a little.

So you can pretty much bet I was having something close to a heart attack. My heart was pounding and I started sweating profusely. Saying a prayer quietly to myself I decided I was just going to turn around and go back. I was worried however that I wouldn't be able to run my overweight body up those two hills back to the Olsen's. Once I stopped- agian, Mr. Creeper stopped ... and ... waited. I didn't know WHAT to do. I kept telling myself that I needed to stay in control. Once you show "fear" then the predator knows he has won. So I waited there at the corner stairing at this man.

I don't know what it was, my show of defiance or his impatience but he hit the gas and peeled very angrily out. As he squeeled around the corner (literally) I had a hard time keeping my composure. The Spirit was very strong and very obvious to me that I needed to leave, quickly. I began running home. Pushing my double stroller with my two beautiful children holding on for dear life I turned the corner and low and behold guess who was "waiting" for me.

I stopped running immediately. I continued walking brisquely biting my tongue to help keep the tears at bay. He was driving towards me. Slowly.

As he passed me he rolled down his window ... and with a very dirty look he smiled at me with the eyes of a predator. THAT'S IT! I'M DONE. I ran. I RAN WITH MY BABIES. I ran like a mother instinctively protecting her children. I prayed. Bawling I rounded another corner onto the busy street. I kept running. I turned to see if I could see his vehicle (not wanting to lure him to my home) and continued running. I ran zig-zagged through different buildings and finally made it home.

And there I stayed for two days.

Anyways- there you have it. My horrible experience with a dirty man stairing at my shaking hips. I KNEW this would happen! I always seem to attract nasty men- even when I'm FAT!!! I know this is silly, but will it get worse as I lose weight? GRR. I hope not. Time to take some women self-defence courses.

Well back to my original thought- I walked those hills yesterday by myself. It was a quick walk that got my heart pumping. About a block away from home I started jogging. This is a huge fete for me. Running is very painful because of womenly assets and my hip. Crazy female apendiges. It's insane what a woman goes through through out her life.

SO!!! Here are my results! I'm pretty proud since last week I gained BACK inches. I've not only gotten back to where I was- but I've lost even more.

Pounds lost: 2
Total pounds lost: 22
Weight: 247 (only 78 more pounds to go!)


Neck: 14.25 lost .5 in. this week (started at 15.5 inches)

Chest: 45.5 lost 1 in. this week (started at 49.0 inches)

Upper Arm: 13.25 lost .25 in. this week (started at 15.0 inches)

Fore Arm: 10.25 lost .25 in. this week (started at 11.0 inches)

Upper Waist: 38.75 lost .75 in. this week (started at 42.0 inches)

Lower Waist: 42.75 lost .75 in. this week (started at 46.5 inches)

Hips: 49.25 lost .25 in. this week (started at 52.25 inches)

Thigh: 23.5 lost 1.5 in this week (?) (started at 26.0 inches)

Calf: 16.75 lost .25 in this week (started at 17.5 inches)

Well all in all I've had a GREAT week. Before last weeks weigh in my thigh measured in at 24 inches. So perhaps I was retaining some water last week due to my cold and what not. I hope I didn't lose muscle there because an inch and a half is A LOT to lose. Hmmm...


Why Does it Feel SOO Good to Be Bad?

Sunday afternoon. I had just gotten home from church and decided to make some cookies for a couple of women in my church.

"Josh! Will you help me?" I ask my husband batting my eyes sheepishly at him.

Ugh he grunted as he slowly sauntered into the kitchen. I handed him the premade cookie dough still in it's sausage like package, and a knife.


"Go to town slick!" I hollared behind me as I happily skipped out of the kitchen.

Several minutes passed and the vicarious smell of raw cookie dough and chocolate chips finally beckoned me into our tiny disaster of a kitchen.

It was strange what happened next. I'm not sure I can correclty relay back what happened to me. It was as if some being inside my inner guts screamed a scream of pure desire.


"CHOCOLATE!!!!!

I picked Josh up and threw him across the apartment. His weak self hit the wall and slowly slid down into the comfort of our couch. He landed as if he had purposefully postitioned himself with his head propped and feet elevated. He even had his handy Sudoku puzzle in his left hand and a pencil in his right.

When I turned back to the precious dough sliced up into 24 small little segments, that screaming demon crawled his way out and through the image of my own self began feeding me large quantities of this coveted treat.


You know that feeling you get when something so decadent hits your tongue you just want to sigh in the back of your throat? The richness melts on your tongue and melts your entire body into a soggy mess of goodness? The salty sweet pinch of the raw dough did just that to me.
Smacking my lips, licking my fingers (lets be honest, entire hands) I felt such relief. Such satisfaction.

And then I remembered.

"J O S H U A ! ! !..." I whip quickly around, rage seeping out of every pore of my body. "You ate all the cookies!"
"HA!" was the only response I was gifted with.







*****************************************
So truth be told I did eat too much cookie dough Sunday night, and reeped the benefits later that evening. I did however have enough batter left to make a couple plates of cookies that I handed out. I hope my visiting teaching* ladies enjoyed them! It was with great difficulty that they recieved any in the first place! haha!


*Visiting teaching is something the women of my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) do to help fellowship and befriend one another. This helps us meet the needs of every sister/ family in our Ward. (Ward: This is a term we use for the time slot a small demographic area meets. There are too many people to meet at once, so we are split off into groups by where we live.)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Week 12 Weigh-in ...ACK!

So here I am. Bowing my head humbly before you. The last three weeks have been DISASTEROUS! However I am now WELL! So Dan decided I needed a new starting point and wanted to measure me. Needless to say it was a DISAPPOINTMENT! Dan told me that my results weren't good OR bad. They just are what they are. I couldn't help that I got ill, but I can help what I'm going to do about it now.

So I took that and ran with it. Literally. Yesterday Rachel and I went on a walk out in the middle of nowhere. There was a hill coming up that had a steep curve to it. Seeing as there were no sidewalks I was concerned and wanted to get it over with since we had our children with us. The idea of some vehicle slamming into a stroller was not sitting well with me... so I suggested a quick jog?!

"SURE!" She says and off we go in our levi's and granny panties. I say this because jogging unprepared is painful when you have "assets" like me. Needless to say I came out of that quick sprint with more than just a weggie. HA!

Lungs burning, calves flexing, heart pounding we came to the top of that hill with an angry vengence.

The biggest realization I had during our 20 second jog was this: MY BUTT JIGGLED AGAIN!

"See it wiggle, watch it jiggle." That was me. I apologize to the old man with the crazy hair who drove by in his old truck. I think I saw him gouge his eye balls out as he was passing me by.

Or maybe that never happened and I was gouging out my own eyes?

Perhaps we'll never know but what a SAD moment it was for me. I was so proud of my tight butt. Did it really turn to jelly so quickly? Well- according to the numbers, yes it did.

So my results: (I know that Dan had said I won't hit a plateau if I'm doing everything he says... however I am calling THIS a plateau! lol!!)

I gained .25 in. on my neck. (swollen lymph nodes)

I gained.... .75 in. on my waist. UGH UGH UGH. BITTER ANGRY FEELINGS TO THAT STUPID GUT OF MINE!

AND sniff. I gained .25 in. on my thigh.

All in all I guess it's safe to say I gained a bit back due to the lack of exercise. This week I'm trying to work my way back up. It's a process and yes I may have deterred from the path- but the journey goal is still the same.


I WILL COME OUT ON TOP!

To prove that I can do anything... even if I'm ill or just not talented I've included a video from this weekend. I am the taller on beginning on the left, and Rachel Olsen (Dan's wife) is the smaller woman on the right.


If I can do THIS in a gym full of people... I really can do anything!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Picture Time! ...and a Giveaway?

Believe it or not I'm actually going to post my pictures. (Against my better judgment mind you!) I'm nervous and can't see much change myself but I also realize that there are a lot of factors as to why I can't see more in the photos myself. I'm wearing different clothing, different photographers, different angles, different lighting and different location all together. Each of these factors actually DO make a difference. On that note- I was hoping I'd see a BIGGER change 20 pounds later.

So here I am in the raw. It humbles me in the most humiliating way to post myself like this. Yes I have put pictures up of me as a bigger gal, but at least I looked ok? Right? These pictures are me "real." These aren't posed or HAPPY or beautiful. They aren't perfect or to be looked at with critical eyes. These pictures are for me to view my progress as time passes and they're for you to see how much work I'm putting into this and how much time I have left to go.

So with out further ado ....
From what I can gather from my pictures here is that most of my weight thus far has come off of my chest and stomach regions. I guess you can pretty much assume that I'm getting fairly anxious to get over this STUPID STUPID cold.

Seeing these pictures have completely motivated me to work harder.
If I can't see a change at 20 pounds, then I'd better be able to see a change at 40!!!

The picture on the left is from week 1 and the picture on the right was taken today at week 11.
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Earlier I had mentioned I had something to "give" to you. Dan and I were talking and one of the tricks that helps motivate me is reading comments from my viewers and friends. I thrive off of the help, encouragement, and even constructive critism.

To make this goal a reality for me I need YOUR help. I'd like a personal story of when you worked diligently and achieved a personal goal of yours. If you would rather leave a quick comment you can do that as well!


I have several ways you can do this:


1. You can post a comment here on my blog!

2. You can leave me a comment on my facebook page if we're friends.

3. You can e-mail me personally and privately at my new e-mail:


With your permission I will include the most inspiring stories and comments in posts to come. If you would rather not have others read what is said to me then use the third option provided and make sure to let me know.

And what do you get in return??? Easy! Who ever leaves me a comment about this posting will recieve a FREE consultation with my friend and trainer Dan Olsen. It does not matter where you live or how much you weigh! I will get your information through e-mail and Dan can call you and give you some information (and more) about personalizing your own regimine.

Please don't feel pressured to use this great opportunity, or feel that it's an advertising ploy (but heck I love giving him a shout out anyway!) but understand this is my way of trying to get you to talk to me! :)

And with that I wish us all luck on the rest of our journey's!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Week 11 Weigh-In ...

Well here it is. Week 11's weigh-in. It's kind of daunting, knowing this could be either a great celebration for me or another dissappointment. I realize that being sick for two weeks has really put a damper on my now "normal" regimine but I still have expectations.

So. Has it been realized?...

YES! YES MY FRIENDS IT HAS!

Let it be known that at 8 A.M. Saturday June 12th (this day) I have officially lost 20 pounds!

What a roller coaster ride this has been. I still have 80 pounds to go, but I started out with 100 pounds and feel that this first accomplishment is the hardest emotionally!

Now I realize and want you to understand that I have been pretty sick, therefore working out has been at a standstill for me. I was infact directed to NOT workout right now so perhaps there has been some muscle loss. That's not something to necessarily be proud of... BUT HECK! If you think I aint gonna go celebrate then you've got to be CRAZY! I did afterall control my eating and have been focusing on my protein/ fruit & veggie intake so I honestly feel this is a well deserved one pound loss. :) I am justified!

So- as a reward I'm goin to get my hair "did." (done) I'm thinking a little shave job in the back... back combing in the front. Lil product ... and lotta love! You thinking what I'm thinking? OH YES- out of control. ;) I can just see all my fellow church peers turning to stare as I walk in with my new "do." Well... no worries. I actually haven't had a nice hair cut or style job in about a year and a half so I'll probably do something simple and nice.

But! Just you wait- my 50 pound goal will be extreme! I'll dip into color and be uber stylish! I'll be a force to be reconded with. (I've got to do something to keep me motivated, right?!)

So back to the issue at hand. Sometime this week Dan is going to take my measurements again. He would like to do them before I start working out again, so that we have an accurate idea of where I'm going to be at. I am a little worried because I'm sure my body has changed these last two weeks, and probably not for the better. But that's okay. Really... once I begin my exercise routine again I'll hopefully have renewed energy. (Not dead like Michael Jackson though...)

So stay tuned ... later this week I will also have something exciting to share (literally) with my readers. Something I would like to "give" to you. ;)
Until then always remember ...




We all have problems!

Picture found at www.officialjwm.wordpress.com/

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I've Got the Grumpy Blues...

Daniel Olsen LMT said...
Nikki, I want to put your results into perspective... The American College of Sports Medicine says it is healthy to lose 1 to 2 lbs a week. so far in your journey you are averaging on the high end at 1.9 lbs per week, and that includes your bad week. according to the original goal we set you are still ahead of where we first projected. Good work, I'm proud of your effors your hard work is paying off. if you need a little extra boost, convert your results into sticks of butter, for you that means you have lost 76 sticks of butter, AWESOME .

Everyone- meet my trainer. This is Daniel Olsen- licensed personal trainer, licensed massage therapist and certified physical therapy assistant. And if you haven't been following my blog let me just tell you that he has been AMAZING at helping me see my own potential. He's very optimistic and always helps point out all the good I've been doing when I feel especially sloppy.


To prove this I've decided to share an awesome comment he shared with me last week; and I felt since this is my second week in the DIE HOLE I thought I'd post it to perk myself up.


I've been going a little stir crazy since I haven't been able to go out and do my now regular routine. I talked to Dan about it and he actually told me that I need to take this week to feel better and rest my body. It makes sense, I probably would be on the stationary bike and wheeze myself into an oxygen deprived HORRIBLE death.


Just think of the poor old manager lady and how she would react to seeing a blue fat lady folded over in fetal position on the floor. I guess I wouln't want to start some chain reaction or anything.


So here I sit contemplating how to get over these grumpy blues and enjoy my time off. I've done some crafts, and watched a LOT of movies ... but what I most look forward to? A massage! Tomorrow at 5 pm. Dan will massage my neck since a lot of my headaches are tension and stress related. And as pricing comes he's very comparable and competitive! I must say I've lucked out in finding a great trainer and friends out of his wife and himself. Thanks guys!

So the plan for the rest of this week is to cut out most carbs during lunch and in the evening and add in fruit- LOTS AND LOTS of fruit! Yumm... this will be add more calories but I'll also be upping my protien intake a little so the fruit should help my body absorb the protein. (I may have misunderstood this...)

I've also been concerned about my muscles. I've worked hard at building muscle and would be devastated if all of sudden they got all soft because of this illness. Dan also said that as long as I'm eating regularily and sticking to my meal plan I should be able to bounce back and hit the "track" in perfect condition.

Here's to praying!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Silly Rabbit- Today is Sunday... Not Saturday!

Man. When you're family is out for a week time does have a way of getting by you. I didn't realize that yesterday WAS Saturday and therefore technically my "weigh-in" day. As I mentioned I wasn't going to do measurements but have okay news on the weight aspect of my weigh-in. I stayed neutral. Thank goodness!

So here it is...

Started at: 269 Now at: 250
I've now officially lost 19 pounds in 10 weeks. I could have made my 20 pound goal but I didn't... and that's okay. Tomorrow starts my new week and I WILL make it this week.
One more pound and I'm at my prepregnancy weight with Shaylee.

And that is a reason to celebrate. One more pound and I've met my first milestone. :)

Here's a picture of something that weigh's 19 pounds to help put it into perspective!:


Ps. My own 10 month old daughter still only weigh's in at 17.9 pounds! :)

I'm feeling pretty good.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

I Must Say...

I must say that this week was not a good one for me. I've actually been living on survival mode since last weekend. If this were Darwin's survival of the fittest I would no longer be in the race of being "naturally" selected! I mean, who wants a cat that looks like it got raped by a penguin??? (Not that I look like a penguin raped cat- but you get where I'm going with that right? )

So anyway after my wonderful trip back home I had a wonderful time recooperating from a nasty cold. Along the lines of that my son came down with croup and we were in the ER all morning today. I bet you can imagine the stress eating I've been doing these last few days. I fear tomorrow will be bad. I'm aiming at maintaining right now; however feel that that is quite the wish right now. I find it funny now that I've gotten upset about losing only one pound before, and here I am contemplating kicking ticks because I may have gained back ONE POUND! HIGH-YUH I SAY... High-Yuh!

But before I go into a karate chopping frenzie I should wait until I weigh-in tomorrow. Once again I won't be doing any measurements because heaven help all the little arachnids out there if I've gotten fatter. I pray that I haven't, and then next Monday I'm going to hit "it" hard. "It" being the gym and food plan. Meaning- no more goodies friends! NO MORE!

And with that I'd like us all to remember that we are ALL beautiful ... I think?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I Fear I've Been a Victim of SABOTAGE!

LPD POLICE REPORT



VICTIM: Nichole Gaertner

ALLEGED SUSPECT(S):
Dave and Petra- MY PARENTS!!!

TIME OF CRIME: Memorial Day Weekend

PLACE OF CRIME: My parents home

Please describe in full detail the incident in question:

I went home to visit my parents this weekend and low and behold there was a bag sitting there for me. It sat there taunting me, it's brown crinkly self lurring me to it. As if a spell was cast upon me I slowly- ever so slowly walked towards it. I pulled back the top and was struck with such power of wanting I lost all self-control. German chocolate. So much German chocolate. All my brain could register is the aroma of hazelnut and cocoa. Immediately my salivary glands kicked into high gear and I proceeded to drool. Like a bee drawn to pollen or a wasp drawn to an innocents hand- I was drawn to this ungodly aspiration that lay before me. I threw back my head and howled like a starving hyena and then threw myself into a chocolate eating frenzy. My sister tried holding me back, and my husband yelled for it to stop- to please just stop! My children cried and wailed as they watched the desctruction of their beloved mother, and sitting in the corner with their hands pulled together in glea sat my parents. My kind and generous parents. My conniving and ever tricky parents! When the entire bag of chocolate was demolished in under 10 minutes my mother let out a high crackling laugh, and my father began to rumble from the pit of his stomach. To my astonishment my amazing parents whom I've cherished my entire life turned into......................................... My fat german relatives! You know- the ancestors that have been haunting me with their chocolate ridden pasts.
Please catch them. How can I ever sleep again knowing chocolate awaits me in the future? I have faith in you LPD! Restore my healthy eating habits.




SIGNATURE:

Nichole Gaertner
*Lets keep my bottom half from doing this when I sit down!
(Once again this is not a picture of me... those are to come in the near future!)