Isn't She Beautiful...

Working out with Mark over at EM has been incredible. Not only am I feeling better physically, I'm feeling pretty freaking great emotionally too! It has been quite the blessing.


Now this doesn't sound as horrible as it actually may be. When I work out I tend to sweat profusely. That doesn't mean I smell like horrible dirty sweat, but it does mean I become uber paranoid that I do! So before every work out in public I slather myself in lotion and use body sprays and good smelling medicated deodorant. Yah, I told you I'm a little crazy.

Like I said in my last post I was going to read through the book, "Just 10 Lbs" and keep a sort of journal as I chug along. I'm a very critical reader (a sorry fault of mine) so don't take what I have to say as gospel (good or bad) because you may miss out on something that could really benefit you! We're all very different people with different experiences and beliefs. This review is just one person's opinion. I hope you take the time to make one for yourself. :)

So I started reading a book. (I know... Crazy that I can read, right?! HAHA!) In this book it talks a lot about over-eating and over coming obstacles. It also talks about how setting a huge weight-loss goal can actually hinder your success. I have to admit that I was REALLY skeptical at first until the author started talking about his struggle with binging and purging.

SMACK.

I was immediately absorbed. I have this fascination with eating disorders and have even written a small thesis on two of them, annorexia and bulimia. I, however, never delved into the world of over-eating because I never thought this could be me. In fact when I was writing my thesis I was already fully absorbed in my new world of agony. I didn't even know it yet. I thought I was just better. I was eating... and that was good, yes? NOPE. It was just my "disease" taking a new route because I had mentally road blocked any other way for my issues to express themselves.

So when I read about this author's struggle very similar to mine I became more interested in what he had to say. I mean, he has obviously kicked his "habit" and is even famous for being an inspirational interventionist. That has to count for something, doesn't it?

I think I will take upon myself a new venture that may help me along this healing lifestyle change. If you are interested in joining me the book is called Just 10 Lbs. by Brad Lamm. I have a friend who was on the VIEW recently because she is working hand in hand with Brad fighting this battle herself. Even if I don't agree or like parts of the book I will still learn something... so here I go! :)

My physical therapy/ personal training session was simply- amazing. It has been a year (or multiple years rather) since I've been able to leave a work out walking tall. Normally I have a limp because my left hip is throbbing and burning in all the wrong ways. Monday was a completely different story!

The other day I bought my first offical fancy pair of running shoes. They are the ASIS Gel-Kayano's almost exactly like the ones in the picture here- except pink, black, and white on the top side. I love them.

I am however EXTREMELY annoyed about something I JUST found out. I spent $140.00 on the shoes and bought inserts for my high archs hoping that would help with my shin splints... leaving my bill at $200.00. I know. I know. WHO PAYS THAT??? Well, apparently only me. I just looked online to find this picture and found them on SALE for $87.00. WHAT THE WHO!?! I think I feel more then a little robbed...

But alas- that's not what I was going to write about. I was going to write about how excited I am to finally have some nice shoes. I'm hoping that they will help with my hip, leg, and shins. GEESH. I'm really falling apart on myself, aren't I?

But no worries! I'm happily terrified to announce that I will be starting a completely new regimine beginning tomorrow at 8:45 am. I am scared to death. haha! I will be working with a personal trainer that has experience, and knowledge in hip injuries. He also works under a physical therapist so I feel that I am in great hands. I mean, the last physical therapist I saw two weeks ago left me lame for two days afterward. What can be worse then that?

So tomorrow- on Valentines day... I just might die. But that's okay because I will die in a sweaty oblivion wearing brand new pink shoes. Not a whole lot more I can beg for if you ask me. :)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! :)

ps. I have to add that I have been saving up for these shoes for awhile. My husband and I talked about it with some professionals trying to find the right "fit" for me. It kind of seems like a frivolous buy when we are saving for a home... but getting me up and moving again has to be a priority as well. :)

You can also find the site for the great deals here. I selected pink and put in my shoe size of 10.5- which is hard to find. Good luck!!!

Sitting down she has to wipe at her chin with the back of her hand. Slobbering like a dog begging for food she slowly opens the white box. Groaning from both pleasure and guilt she stares at what lies before her.

Chocolate.

Chocolate Donuts.

She tosses the box down to the ground and pulls at her hair, trying to control the change that is starting to overcome her body. Finally giving in she throws herself on top of the strewn morsels and begins to tear into the meat of the dirty little temptations.

"MOMMY..." asks her tiny son with eyes as round as the moon. "What are you doing?"

She sits up and cleans up her face trying to muster enough strength to respond with out scaring her little boy.

"Mommy is just... playing?..."

********************************************************************

Have you noticed I haven't written a blog in over a week now? Well if you haven't, I sure have! I've noticed it every single day as that day has passed. Why? Because I'm struggling. Sitting down and facing my issues on here is a little overwhelming. But if I don't record how I feel now then not only am I not being honest with you, but I am not being honest with myself.

So I realize now that I have not kept everyone updated on if I was able to keep my goal of no sweets for 14 days.

Sadly... I can not DISSAPPOINT you!

I did make it and it was AMAZING! And totally worth it too! :) Especially since my ENTIRE family ate those silly little pink and white frosted animal cookies in front of me all weekend. Those are one of my sinful little pleasures. But alas- I refrained!

Tomorrow Rachel and I are going to the wonderful Asian market to get ourselves some yummy cream puffs! :P

On the other hand I have some sad news as well. It looks like my hip injury is a lot worse then I ever thought, or anticipated. The biggest problem is that it will be a slow recovery for it. I wrote a blog here about a fall I took in July that really hurt me and apparently must have done some damage. Why did I continue to work myself hard afterward? I guess I felt I had to prove my macho-ism and strength to myself. I had to KNOW that I could still accomplish my goal and need to become healthy and fit.

Well. You reap your rewards, don't you.

So now my regimine will have to be altered to just plain' ol walking in water. UGH. This will be a challenge for me because I YEARN to swim. However at this point that would be counter productive. Now I know I need to peppy and optimistic about this... and honestly it might be kind of a nice break... but it also makes me sad. I feel like I let myself down by not allowing myself to heal LAST year. Now I may not be able to run the race in May.

I will however stop dwelling on that. As it was pointed out to me, I will still burn a lot of calories with the water resistance, right?! I will also start retraining my body's posture, and the outer muscles in my hips/ thighs. I haven't been equalizing my work outs and am now... weak? in certain muscle groups.

Who knows... this can all turn out to be a great "new year"/ "new me" problem solving challenge, right? I will come out stronger physically and emotionally if I don't allow this to bog me down. And plus-I do look forward to not having this constant companion of pain with me every day. That, my friends, will be heavenly!

BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ONLY BEAUTIFUL .. BUT STRONG TOO! :)