May 25, 2010

Keeping our joy

As I begin this post, it is two minutes till midnight. I'm quite sure that I haven't made it to bed before midnight in the last several days. For one, Jedidiah is a night owl...and I'm a worrier. The two combined make for some very restless and sleepless nights.

Jed has had a WONDERFUL week!!! He has felt great and enjoyed playing with his sisters. One night we were very close to going to the ER due to a fever but thankfully many of you prayed along with us and his temperature starting dropping as he slept. THANK YOU!! I think the Lord knew that I couldn't take another night in the hospital. Seriously. Thank you Lord.

The nurses have commented that it is somewhat unusual to have 8 weeks of chemo and not one overnight stay in the hospital due to fever or illness. The Lord has protected Jedidiah....and my OCD cleaning is an added bonus.

My poor Cinderella children..........
We need to buy stock in Clorox wipes, bleach, pine sol, lysol and germ-x! LOL
Jed did so well with his last chemo treatment. Gigi was back from Chicago and we were so happy to see her! Isn't Ashlin a doll? She is one of my special Wednesday kids. She is doing great and celebrated her first birthday this week!
After his chemo, he picked out his prize from the toy closet. This process can take SEVERAL minutes as he looks over every.single.thing! LOL
Last Wednesday was a very special day. It was Trinity's last chemo treatment!!!!!!! I love this sweet girl and her family. Remember our very first chemo treatment? Where I stood at the door and stared at Jed's name only to open the door and find a big balloon and gift on our bed. The gift was from Trinity and her family! I have absolutely fallen in love with her. I couldn't wait to see her and deliver her gift. She is such a sweetheart and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for her life.
I walked out of Trinity's room to check on two other special kids that I am in love with. Sam was sleeping but doing some better. He was in such pain last week that he chewed his lip and it was infected but they had it under control now. His mom looked better and rested. I was so happy to spend some time with her while Jed and Josh were at play hour. Then I visited my sweet Madison. This girl stole my heart on the very first day we were in the hospital. She has been sick all week and I have been in constant prayer for her. I am looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.
Since I make it a point to be honest with you all, I must tell you that I have had an awful week. I have spent the majority of my time with red, swollen eyes and a heavy heart. I have wrapped myself up in so many lives of children fighting cancer and some hard realities hit me this week that not all of them would be celebrating their last chemo treatments with balloons and gifts. My poor husband has preached his heart out to me this week and I am sooo thankful for him. The Lord knew that I needed to be married to my pastor. It would be awful inconvenient to have to knock on my pastor's door at 2am every night in my pjs! Instead, I just have to gently and sometimes not so gently peck on his arm to wake him up. After several nights of going to bed in tears with a laptop in my lap, Josh finally had enough of me (lol) and gave me a great piece of advice. "Why don't you put down the laptop and pick up your bible." He was right. See, I told you I married a good man! LOL
I started thinking about how much our lives have changed in the last two months. How many times I have let Satan steal my joy. I know that Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy and he has made that very clear in the last two months. He wants to steal my joy, kill my child and destroy my family. He wants to use this situation in our life to weaken me. And in doing that, he can make me useless in the kingdom of God. That is something that I refuse to let happen. Satan is not going to win and he is not going to steal my joy!
The very next morning I made it a point to do things that I enjoyed doing. Those that followed my blog before Jed's diagnosis know that I love to paint! I hauled out Jed's craft kit and we painted and worked on projects. I think I may have enjoyed my painting a little too much because I wasn't watching Jed's project super close. Let's just say that his sea shells won't be moving any time soon. He made sure they were well glued! LOL
End of the school year is fast approaching for my girls and every year I have made gifts for their teachers. It hadn't even crossed my mind this year. So I checked out some of my favorite blogs to get some ideas and Kendall and I worked on some cute bags.

Josh cooked supper on the grill and we spent all evening playing in the yard with the kids. Jed is in charge of my flowers. He makes sure they are WELL watered. lol
What a nice surprise! He was tickled to death to find this little bird's nest full of eggs.
Running through the water sprinkler....
and finding turtles is fun!!!!
I love this picture of Kendall.....curious as can be about her new turtle. I love how you can see all her little scratches. This child climbs trees and plays so hard every day. She is always trying to discover something.

By the end of the evening, Jed was feeling tired but DID NOT want to go inside. We were all enjoying our family time outside and the weather was perfect. Good thing he has a big sister to carry him around!
(oh and the little black smudge on his head is paint...he worked on my table with me)
Thank you all so much for praying for us. Tomorrow (well today, since it is after midnight) is chemo #9. I ask that you pray for our family. Pray that Jed will have another wonderful week. Pray that I won't allow Satan to steal my joy any longer. That I will stand strong and believe with all of my heart that God had healed my precious son and He will continue to protect Jed and keep this mean cancer away.
"The joy of the Lord is MY strength"

Posted by Lori Harper at 9:01 PM 16 comments

May 17, 2010

At the feet of Jesus

Hello to our faithful prayer team!!!

Jed went in for his "big chemo" week this past Wednesday. As always, we are nervous and anxious each time we go in for this set of chemo drugs. Tuesday night as I was packing and laying out his clothes, he decided that he did NOT want to go to the doctor again! He and Biscuit were doing perfectly well in their little box away from all doctors and nurses!

Josh and I barely slept on Tuesday night. We prayed and prayed and asked all our friends and prayer warriors to pray for Jed's stomach. He woke up on Wednesday in the best mood! He walked right into the clinic like a big boy and had very little anxiety. Last week, they were barely able to weigh and measure him due to his meltdown, but this week he just jumped right up on the scales like a big boy!

"Look how tall I am!!"

This is what the nurses found when they walked into our room! LOL
After the nurses accessed his port, we began the wait for our room. SIX HOURS and 45 MINUTES later our room was finally ready! Talk about exhausted! Jed received two hours of fluids to prepare his bladder for "big chemo" and then he was able to go to the playarea.


Playtime was over and we were back in the room. Thankfully the room is set up with a large tv and several Disney movies. Jed is normally very tired by this point in the day so it's not too hard to keep him in the bed while the fluids are getting him ready for chemo.

We were told that Jed had the highest ANC counts of anyone on the gold floor so we would be sharing a room to keep the others with low or no anc counts from getting sick. Bedtime came and we still didn't have a roommate so we were able to use the extra chair for sleeping which was nice. Around 10am Thursday morning, the cleaning lady came in and made sure that the open side of our room was super clean and ready. She told me as she mopped "I've been praying for this little boy that you are about to meet. I just wanted you to know that his mother is exhausted and needs our prayers." I began to immediately pray for this child and his mother. One by one the nurses came into the room carrying toys, clothes, balloons, iv meds and bags. They were doing their best to help the mother get everything set up in their new room. Finally, the mother came in..clearly worn out and near a breaking point and she was carrying Sam. I took one look at him and literally sat down in my chair. He looked like Jed's twin!!!!! It was scary how much they looked alike! Not only do they look alike, but they are the same age and they both have older siblings the same ages! I didn't want to bother her so I didn't say a word. She was doing her best to settle Sam into his new hospital bed without disturbing us. I told her not to worry about us at all because we were fine. At that moment, she came around from her side of the room and literally fell into me saying "I'm not fine". We hugged and cried and hugged and cried. With Jonathan's mom, the words never came and they weren't necessary. With Sam's mom, the verses and words just flowed like I had scripted them. She was experiencing so many emotions from deep sadness to anger to bitterness and back again. She said that she had always had a good relationship with the Lord but now she was seriously experiencing a faith crisis. I told her is was ok. That she could cry and jump and scream and hit the bed and pound on the steering wheel and when she was finished and collapsed on the floor she would be right at the feet of Jesus. He would never leave her..not for one single second. Not because she yelled too loud or screamed or said thing to God like "why are you doing this to my baby!" He loves us and He understands, even when we don't.
She was waiting for her husband to come relieve her so she could go home and rest. Honestly, I don't know that I have ever met anyone who needed rest like she did. Real peace and rest that can come only from the Lord. This verse from Matthew came into my mind many, many times as I was talking to her. ""Come unto Me all of you who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest."" All we have to do is come. Come sit at His feet. Lay at His feet. His presence will take away every bit of exhaustion, bitterness, anger, sadness and hurt we could ever feel. It's situations like this that remind me that we should come to Jesus with every need and every problem because we can't take care of it on our own. We should come with our marriage, our children, our health, our finances, our home, our church, our friends. Why is it that we trust God for some things, but not all? I'm super guilty of this one. My boss used to ask me...."You trust God with your salvation, right? The MOST IMPORTANT thing! Then why not trust him for the other things in your life?" Nothing in this life is as important as our salvation and I trust God 100% with that. So why is it that I trust him with healing my child only half the time? or 75% of the time?
During all of this, Josh was on his way to visit some of our friends that were also in the hospital and he made it halfway to their room before coming back to our room. He said he didn't know why, but he just felt like he needed to come back. I was thankful that he did. He was able to pray for Sam and Sam's mother before she left to go home. As she was leaving, she said "you know, we are members of a group that no one wants to join!" She is right. But we are also children of God. We have a place of refuge in times like this. I can't imagine not having that shelter to run to.
Due to Jed's vomiting, we were not allowed to check out at 11am like the drs had planned. This allowed us some time with Sam's dad and we were able to learn specific prayer requests for Sam.
His dad said something to me that I will never forget. It was plain and simple but it made a huge impact on me. He said "You know, I have learned to never waste a rainy day"...."if the kids want to do something and it's raining outside, we do it anyway. We may never see a sunny day again so the rainy day will not be wasted."
We made it home Thursday night and Jed was going strong! He was eating like a horse and playing just as hard! The doctors told us that Jed's anc counts would remain high for the next 2-3 days so we should take advantage of his energy and low infection risk! Friday he was surprised by his two first cousins...Sophie and Taylor!

He had a BLAST playing with them. They ran and jumped and played and made mud pies and screamed and everything else you can imagine!


Then Sophie stayed over for Jed's first sleepover party!!!! We thought that they would both crash early since they had played so hard but at 1am, they were still going strong!!! LOL

Sophie went home around noon on Saturday. Jed was not a happy camper! We told him that he was going to get to see Memaw and Pappa so that made things much better! It had been 7 weeks since he was around Memaw Goosey so he was excited to get to see her! Of course, Pappa had to take him fishing in the pond and riding on the fourwheeler!

He had so much fun with Lexi and Harli and Presli! He loves his cousins so much and it has been so hard being away from them. I was soooo thankful we were able to be with them.


Thank you for remaining faithful in prayer for Jed.

Please pray that he will continue to do so well! We go back tomorrow for more chemo and his counts should be dropping significantly. We will be back on high germ patrol!

There are soooo many needs right now that weigh so heavy on my heart. God knows each and every one and can take care of them all but it still seems so overwhelming at times.

Please pray for all those who are walking the same road as we are.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

Posted by Lori Harper at 10:51 AM 16 comments

May 8, 2010

My niece needs your prayers!!!---UPDATE

For those who have asked, Ava (Aubri's little sister) is doing great! She finished her last chemo treatment a few weeks ago and is loving preschool and getting ready for kindergarden this fall!


Aubri is doing much better this morning. She is responding well to the antibiotics. She has ate, talked and colored this morning....a great improvement from yesterday. She will see another eye dr tomorrow for a second opinion and stay a few more days in the hospital to get this infection killed out.

Thank you all so much for praying for our family!!!


My six year old niece, Aubri, is in serious need of our prayers!

She is currently in the hospital due to a severe infection around her brain.

Please pray for Aubri and for her parents, Greg and April (Josh's older sister).

Aubri is the oldest of two girls. Her little sister Ava just finished a two year battle with leukemia.

Thank you all so much for praying for our family.

Ava, Aubri, Kendall, Reagon and Jedidiah...Christmas 2009

Posted by Lori Harper at 2:05 PM 12 comments

May 7, 2010

The works of God

Hello to our faithful readers!

This week has been rather uneventful and we are very thankful for that. Jed finished his 6th round of chemo on Wednesday and is doing well other than getting very tired and having no appetite. His counts were super low this week at clinic so we are on high germ alert!

He spends a lot of time in the den napping during the day. He plays for a little while and then crashes....most of the time with Daddy! =)
But when he feels good, he feels good!!!!
Josh bought this small $10 swimming pool for Jed's play area and Jed couldn't wait to strip down and jump in! Our neighbors catch a glimpse of this little naked jaybird in our backyard quite often! lol
This week's chemo was much easier than normal. I know it was because so many people were praying for Jed. Last week he experienced such horrible anxiety and we asked everyone to pray with us around 1pm on Wednesday before Jed's appt. He had a good day in clinic, playing with all his friends and with his new "David and slingshot" toy from GG.
We were excited to see Christopher back this week. He had just made it back from his Make-A-Wish trip and we couldn't wait to hear all the details!
We waited about 2 1/2 hours before they called to access his port and guess what he was doing? Sleeping! I thanked the Lord for listening to all our prayers going up for an easier chemo day. Jed woke up right before chemo and was little nervous but nothing like he was the week before. A big thanks to all of you who lift Jed up each week!
I want to share something that has been on my heart this week. I have been talking to Jonathan's mom and yesterday afternoon he was feeling so sick and then I learned of another 3 year old in clinic that is fighting brain cancer and now more tumors were found in his spine and I started to feel depressed. It is hard, even as christians, to not question God when bad things happen...especially to little children. I have asked myself "why Jed, why Jonathan, why Christopher..." so much in the last 6 weeks. Not the "shaking my fist to heaven WHY" but a sincere "why?" Why did God choose Jed to go though this? Many people have shared their views and a few people have even said "satan is after your family since you all are so on-fire for God" and I do believe that could be true. I don't think it is unbiblical to believe that could be happening, just read the story of Job. And if that was the case, I know that God is still in control even if Satan thinks he is. But I have never felt from the very start that this was the work of the devil and God was allowing it to test our faith. From day one, I felt this was something God had placed in our lives to bring glory to His name. I remember going to my bible the day after talking to Jed's doctor and learning of his cancer and reading the story of the blind man in John 9.

"As [Jesus] passed by, he saw a man blind from birth”
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” (vs 2).

The reason the man was born sightless?
So “the works of God might be displayed in him”(vs 3).
This man was born blind for the works of God. You know Satan had nothing to do with that! He wants nothing more than to destroy us, not display the works on God in us.
So I read the story again and again and ask myself....The reason Jed has cancer?
So the works of God might be displayed in him.
Could it be that a God that loves us so much could select a 3 year old to suffer for his glory?
What is tougher for me to swallow as a mother? The thought of my 3 year old son having cancer or the thought that the God I love and serve placed it in his life?
If the story stopped there it would be quite sad. But thankfully the Lord allows us to know (as Paul Harvey would say)..the rest of the story.
Jesus spat on the ground, mixed some dirt in the spit and rubbed it on the man's eyes. Not a pretty way to heal someone, right? Well, chemo isn't either. The healing isn't in the mud or the spit or the chemo...it's in Jesus.
"The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”
"The man they call Jesus reached down with his mighty hand one evening in my front yard when I was three years old, and then I was healed."
If Jed receiving cancer was a work from the devil, then Satan has failed again! Cancer has done alot of things to me over the last 6 weeks but there is one thing it has not done. It has not changed my love for the Lord. In fact, I feel that my relationship with the Lord has deepened. I certainly have a new awareness of his presence in our darkest hours. Six years ago God changed my life and I have a strong desire to see lost souls saved. There are so many in need of medicine like chemo to save their lives but there are even more in need of the saving message of Jesus Christ. I pray that God has allowed Jed to carry this cancer "so the works of God might be displayed in him" and so that Josh and I will have more opportunities to share our faith. This trial has already brought so many opportunities to share Christ with nurses, doctors and especially other parents who are walking this same journey with us.
I read this week in Corinthians that Paul stated as he was on his way to a city to preach “… a door was opened unto me of the Lord.”
We are now noticing that many doors are opening for us to share Christ with the lost. If having a child with cancer has done one good thing, it is allowing us to reach people we could have never reached before. We pray that God will use us to touch others who are lost.

The hand that touched the blind man's eyes touched Jedidiah.
The one that touched my life 6 years ago will touch yours too!
Please pray that Jed's counts will rise this week and that he stays fever free.
Your prayers are important to us! Thank you for keeping Jed on your prayer list. There are so many right now in need of prayer but the God we serve can take care of them all.

Posted by Lori Harper at 9:01 AM 28 comments