Hello to all our dear friends! School is back in session and the girls are excited about another school year.
Reagon is in the eighth grade now and Kendall is in the fourth. Time has sure flown by. It seems like just last year that Reagon was going to Kindergarten in her cute little pink barbie shoes and big bow pigtails!
Jed did such a great job again this past week with his chemo. When we arrived at ACH for his appt, they had set up a beam for all the staff and patients to sign. This beam will be placed in a new wing that is being built now. I know our oncology unit will be moving to the new area....a much bigger clinic and bigger area for impatient chemo. It makes me sad to think that there are so many children fighting cancer that a bigger clinic is needed.
Kendall signed the beam too since she is an ACH eye patient.
I love his little "I Can Fight Cancer" shirt from one of my blog readers! Thank you Lindsay! Can you tell he is a bit spoiled by you all? He is always excited about a trip to the post office because he gets a special prize almost every single day.
Please be in prayer for Lindsay's son Jackson too. His story and Jed's are sooo similar! Jackson's surgery is one week from today so please remember this when you are praying.
This weekend we spent more time at Nana and Poppa's house. Who wouldn't want to go there? The day is filled with swimming, playing on the fourwheeler and mule, eating ice cream and anything else the grandkids want! =)
Could you all please be in prayer for a very special little friend of ours. Emily is wanting to go home (she is sick of her hospital stays) but her counts are so low and she is in a lot of pain. Please pray that her counts will rise soon and she can go home for a while without any leg pain.
Yesterday, Jed woke up and said "Let's bake a birthday cake!" So guess what we did at 7:15am???
I wonder how many weight watcher points are in batter mix? I'm sure I don't want to know....but it sure was good for breakfast!
Doesn't this look like a super happy boy? He couldn't wait to decorate the cake and we sang Happy Birthday to him! Then he sang to me. and to Daddy. and to Biscuit....
Speaking of Biscuit, remember this sweet picture just two weeks after Jed's cancer diagnosis?
Look at how much they have grown now!!!!
Looking back at the pictures before Jed's diagnosis is a little sad for me. I know that all kids grow fast at this age but it seems like he has had to grow up extra fast. He has had to endure such hard chemo drugs and fevers and overcome many fears at such a young age.
Overcoming fears is something that I too have been working on.
More on that in a second. I have some news that just can't wait!!!
Tomorrow will be Jed's VERY LAST CHEMO TREATMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't even begin to tell you all the emotions that come with that statement! Our doctors surprised us a bit by changing his plan of treatment. We thought we had four to six more chemos to go but he will only have ONE MORE and then his scans on Sept 8th. If his scans are clear of cancer (and we know they will be) then he will move to the second phase of his treatment plan and will no longer get chemo!!!!!!! He will get his port cleaned and flushed, blood work and regular scans but no chemo!
You would think that with that type of news I would be feeling better than ever. You would think! But unfortunately that is not the case. I have been worried now more than ever. I discussed this fear with Jed's doctor a couple of weeks ago (thinking we still had several chemos left) and he told me that he deals with this on a regular basis with the moms in the clinic. That made me feel a bit better. I told him that stopping the chemo meant the cancer could come back and the thought of that just knocks the breath out of me and drops me to my knees.
Actually, that is what I need to do. Drop to my knees.
Drop to my knees and thank our good Lord above for taking care of us the last six months. For keeping mouth sores away from Jed. For taking care of his legs when the doctors said he could hurt so bad he would stop walking. For keeping the cancer away from his bones. For keeping the cancer from spreading when most of the time rhabdo spreads before it is ever detected. For the prayer warriors the world over who lift up our son to His mighty throne on a daily basis, for our friends and neighbors who have lifted our financial burden, for my good job and very supportive boss, for our loving church family, for doing everything He said He would do....and more!
Last night I had a horrible time sleeping. I was tossing and turning and woke up Josh (bless his heart for dealing with me!). He asked what I was worrying about. He probably already knew the answer but you can never tell about me. I have been known to sit up and think about Reagon going off to college and moving out (yes, she is only in the 8th grade) or fret about the time I spanked Kendall for not wanting to go to school when she was in the first grade (yes, she is a 4th grader now).
I told him that I was worried about stopping chemo. Don't get me wrong. I want to stop! I don't want any more harmful drugs entering Jed's body. I want his walking to improve and his feet to stop dragging when he walks in the evenings. I want his leg pain to end. I want his beautiful hair to grow back. I want him to be able to resume life as a normal, happy little three year old.
BUT.....I am scared.
He talked for several minutes and in between the nose blowing and crying into my pillow I heard bits of what he was saying. But, he said something to me that really spoke to my heart.
He asked me (as he often does when I am troubled) if I believed that God truly healed our son? Yes, I do believe that! Then he asked why I would allow Satan to continue to steal my joy when this should be a time of rejoicing! Instead of being happy that Jed only has one more treatment left, I am terrified that is is almost over. Then he said this to me....
"Do you remember the woman in the bible who was healed of a blood issue? Do you think she left worrying that it would return?"
Just two sentences amid a 15 minute mini sermon at the edge of our bed that changed my whole night. He continued to talk a little while but I have no idea what he said next (sorry, honey) because all I could do was picture this woman....dressed in a tattered dress, walking/running/skipping down an old dirt road REJOICING over her newly healed body from the touch of our Savior's garment....not a concern in her mind that the blood issue would return.
I believe that the same power that healed this woman healed my son.
Reality is that I forget too often that God is in control. In control of me. of you. of Jed. of cancer.
I fell asleep praying that the Lord would forgive me for allowing myself to get wrapped up in worry and forget about all the blessings he gives me each day.
The Lord has done everything we have asked Him to do. Before we had Jed's bone scans for staging, we prayed that the cancer would not be found in his bones. It wasn't. Before his surgery, we prayed that the cancer would not be in his lymph nodes. It wasn't. On week 12, we prayed that the scans would be clean. They were. He has done everything we have asked Him to do.
I pray that I will continue to trust in God for all things in my life. That I will overcome my fears. That my faith will strengthen so that I may be a witness to the others we meet on this path.
Lord, keep me from being afraid or uncertain about the future. I want to put my entire life and family in your all powerful hands. Help me to realize that we are never walking alone.
I don't even have the words to express how thankful we are for each of you. The last 20+ weeks would have been unbearable without your constant prayers. Please be in prayer for us tomorrow. This is the big set of drugs so I ask that you all pray for his little stomach.
Sept 8th is coming up and Jed will spend all day in scans. Please be praying for that, too.
And pray that I don't blow a hole in our pockets because after this big #20 chemo tomorrow, I can't be held responsible for the shopping trip Jed will go on. Let's just say he has been in love with a certain little train called "thomas" and I think I know just the place to get one! =)
