Hello to all you faithful readers. I am sorry it has been a while since my last update. We have been super busy with school starting back and a new church plus trying to get The Jed Foundation off the ground (more on that soon). I appreciate all the emails asking about our family.
We spent Labor Day with our families. I enjoy every minute we spend with them because it seems like we are so busy and we don't spend nearly enough time together.
Jed had so much fun playing with baby Samuel. He is growing up so fast! He is another miracle child in our family and is already spoiled!
Our children are so blessed! They have wonderful grandparents who love them so much!
Last week Jedidiah went for his one year off treatment scans. Jed made a donation to the hospital in memory of his sweet friend, Joel. Now all the kids on 3Gold can ride the halls on a batman trike!
Jed is such a big boy and isn't nearly as scared as he used to be during scans. I wish I could say the same for Josh and myself.
This past week we said goodbye to our precious Morgan. I don't know if a child has ever touched my heart like Morgan. She ALWAYS had a smile on her face no matter what she was going through. She would post on her facebook page "At ACH, having a super day!". You would have never known the battle she was fighting. She loved Jed so much and we loved her too. I can say without a doubt that she changed me for the better and I will NEVER forget her. She will always be a part of me and one of the biggest reasons for keeping the Jed Foundation going.
I tossed and turned and barely slept the night of Morgan's passing. At visitation on Sunday afternoon, I pulled up to the funeral home an hour early and the parking lot was packed. The very first people I noticed were families from our clinic who have also lost children to cancer. I hugged Joel's mom and Hannah's parents and got in the long line of people waiting to see Morgan's parents and pay their respects. As the line inched closer, I could feel my heart beating faster and faster and I had almost talked myself out of looking at her. I wanted to remember her with the big huge smile on her face. The bright eyed little girl that always took my camera in clinic and snapped a dozen pictures of all of us. She loved taking pictures and was just a ray of sunshine to all of us who knew her. I finally made my way to the front. Morgan looked as beautiful as I have ever seen her. She was dressed in a gold and ivory dress and her freckles literally glowed on her face! They almost looked 3-D! She was absolutely beautiful! I hugged her Mom and we cried together. I won't give details but it seems like the stories are all very similar. Cancer doesn't care that you are a small child. Most families watch their children suffer at the end. It seems so unfair and yet I am reminded that Morgan and all the other precious children who we have loved and let go are now safe in the arms of God.
I find myself getting more anxious at times, especially with the emotions of losing Joel and Morgan within weeks of each other. You form such a bond with the families at the clinic and you all feel like you are walking the journey hand in hand....then to look beside you and see that the family is no longer there almost rips your heart out.
There are times that I feel like Jed's story isn't as "fresh" on the minds of the prayer warriors as it used to be and I begin to panic a bit. Then God will remind me that He is still God and that He is still in control. Just a couple weeks ago during one of my nervous times, I received an email from a blog reader who was traveling with her friend from TX. I would like to share a bit from it...
"While we were in Boston, we were stopped by a handful of people asking if it was the same Jed as your blog. Isn't that great that thoughts and prayers are across the country. Thank you for allowing us to follow Jed's journey. He is awesome, and I could only hope to meet him and shake his hand one day. :) I can't wait to hear about the Jed foundation. I've worn my shirt sooo much it's starting to fade ... you wouldn't happen to have any more of them would you?"
Thank you Teralyn (on the right with her friend Judi)! Your email came at the perfect time and calmed this mother's heart.
I have been spending a lot of time lately reading the story of Lazarus. I don't know why but I seem to find myself drawn back to it each time I am in the word of God. I even changed up my Sunday school lesson for my teen class so we could study the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. I think my teens were a bit happy that day because the memory verse was an easy one. Jesus wept....
I have read the story numerous times but it is like a brand new story to me lately. After leaving the clinic a couple of weeks ago, my sweet friend Carla (her daughter has leukemia) stopped me as we were walking out the hospital's main entrance. She was telling me about a mother that she and I have been witnessing to and had some good news about their talks concerning the Lord. This single mother lost her only child, a teenage daughter, a few months ago and has been struggling with her faith and walk with the Lord ever since. After we talked for a few minutes and we hugged goodbye, Carla said to me, "Doesn't this remind you of the story of Jesus raising Lazarus?" I thought for a second or two and didn't quite see the similarities in the stories. She said "Jesus wept even though he knew he was about to resurrect Lazarus". One powerful sentence. We hugged and walked away to our separate vehicles in the hospital parking lot but I couldn't quit thinking about that sentence. I mulled it over in my head all the way home and for several days that followed.
Mary and Martha were friends with Jesus. They didn't just know of him or had heard about this great man, they were friends with the Savior. When Lazarus became ill and they sent word for Jesus to come, they had full faith that he was on his way and their brother was on his way to a great healing. But when Jesus didn't show up and Lazarus died the sisters were broken hearted and couldn't understand why their friend didn't come and save "the one he loved". When Jesus finally arrived the scriptures tell us "he groaned in his spirit" after seeing the two friends grieving. And what he did after that speaks volumes to me. Jesus wept. Did he not know what he was about to do? Didn't he know that Lazarus would soon come jumping out of the tomb still wrapped in burial cloth? Sure he did. But he cried anyway. He didn't just cry, he wept.
Jesus wept and had compassion on his friends. He knew what was about to happen. He knew that the grieving would soon turn to rejoicing but he cried along with his friends anyway.
I know that Morgan and Joel and DJ and all the other children that have impacted my life so much over the last year and half are in heaven with Jesus. When I sit at the side of a hospital bed and hold the hand of a mother who is preparing to say goodbye to a child, I weep. I know what is going to happen. I know that this child will soon be pain free and in the presence of our Lord and Saviour but I weep anyway. And Jesus understands it. I thank God for those two little words in His word. While most kids memorize them because it is the shortest verse in the bible, I remember them for a different reason now.
Someday soon, our mourning will turn to rejoicing and all the pains and cares of this world will vanish.
Thank you blog readers! I can never tell you enough how much your faithful prayers mean to us!
