Learning to Live

Yesterday I spent a lot of time on the phone to the wonderful military financial services (DFAS)! I am sure some of you have had this wonderful pleasure checking to see where your money is and why it might be late. I was calling to find out about a check I receive last March and why I also got a 1099 for that money. When I got the check and copy of the payment form I assumed it was for the reimbursement for Sean's funeral. I filed it away never expecting to need it. This weekend I got a 1099 for the exact same amount. Do what? That money is taxable income, are you kidding me? My little fingers dialed so many numbers, pressed so many options, and when I finally got a real person I was happy . . . for about 10 seconds . . . only to be told I needed to call a different person! After talking to Robert, Gary, and a man not answering his phone; I decided to turn it over to the Casualty Office at Fort Hood . . . they transferred me to a couple different people until one lady said she would call and check into it. She actually called me back and said she would follow up when she had an answer.

I can't believe that I might have to pay taxes on money to bury Sean . . . is that insane? I still can't believe that after turning in a bill with receipts for the funeral they consider it income. The real kicker is that not all the funeral expenses were even covered by the amount the government says a funeral cost . . . they expect for a funeral to cost $4280 . . . granted the Army provided the casket and the preparing of the body, but it did not cover the actual cemetery plot, funeral home expenses, transportation of Sean, and other miscellaneous costs. This sounds like a good segment for the 20/20 segment called Give Me a Break by John Stossel. I have faith in the nice lady from Fort Hood . . . I will keep you posted.

I often wonder why I never dream about Sean. In the last 14 months I have only had two dreams with him. After he died I thought that he would come to my dreams nightly but he doesn't. I guess that is why some dreams are so special. The first dream provided me with some details. This past weekend I had another dream, and it too provided me with yet one more answer.

It was a short dream. We were at a house that was unfamiliar to me. We were running around this house chasing each other, laughing, and just having fun. It flashed forward to night time and we were both laying in a bed . . . weird because that is where the first dream took place . . . we were talking and of course I was asking questions. I was asking a lot but only remember one. I was pointing to his head and with tears in my eyes I asked him, "Did it hurt?" As he stared back at me with his twinkling, crystal blue eyes with a semi-smile on his face he told me, "no, it did not hurt at all." I woke up . . . tried to go back to sleep but could not . . . don't you just hate when you wake up from a good dream . . . I always try to go back to sleep so the dream continues.

Well when your husband is deployed and has a four day pass there then I do! Sean was in Kosovo and rumor was spreading they could be extended for 3 months because of the war in Iraq so that meant he would be gone for 9 months. He got a four day pass to Sofia, Bulgaria. Not exactly a tropical location but time we could spend together and explore yet one more country. The Army had made arrangements for all the soldiers to stay in the same hotel, Hotel Rodina. He would have to check in at various times each day so staying there would make it convenient. I would not even classify it at a one star hotel because it was so nasty and outdated! The lobby was nice and the rooms looked like the worst nightmare from the 70s or earlier! I knew something was wrong when I finally arrived and we were taking the elevator to or room . . . two pretty women hopped on with us . . . Sean looked at me and smiled. I asked if they were some of the soldiers wives or girlfriends. As they stepped off and the door closed Sean told me they were the entertainment. What? Yes, there was a strip club on the top floor on the hotel . . . how convenient was that for soldiers. It bothered me because not all wives were able to join their husbands and this was there for them to pass time. I heard that they were more than just pole dancers and strippers if you know what I mean. Oh well . . .

The weather in Germany was awful. Thank goodness I went to Munich the night before and spent the night because the roads were so bad that several women missed their flights. I would have been heartbroken. So of course it snowed in Sofia and was so cold but we had Subway, Pizza Hut, and Dunkin Donuts to keep us warm! That was more than Germany had to offer for good ol' American fast food! We ate there very often!




A view from our room . . .

One more photo that another tourist did a terrible job . . . I guess it is the thought that counts.

Sean can always find an Irish Pub and his favorite beer.

The other thing I remember about the weekend was turning on the television and seeing the shuttle Columbia had a tragic ending. Ironically, it blew up not far from my hometown of Eddy. I was shocked because the day before I left my fifth grade students we had a writing prompt about shuttle Challenger. The students wrote about if space missions should continue and if space travel was important. I talked about the day Challenger blew up and how I remembered watching it on television at my school. I was is junior high but if felt like yesterday. That was 20 years ago today . . . when I returned to school the students thought it was strange that we had just talked about one shuttle exploding and now Columbia did too. I soon forgot about the shuttle disaster and focused on what was really important in life at the moment.

Karlovy Vary February 2001 . . . when we first arrived in Germany, Sean was the Infantry OIC at Range Control Operations . . . amazing wonderful job if you have a wife! We spent so many evenings together. I used to joke with him that I worked longer hours than him and most days I did! The Gang of Captains (Heather, Jason, and Sean) decided to plan a trip to Karlovy Vary for the weekend . . . so Levi and I tagged along . . . just kidding! We had fun and I will post more pictures on this trip in February on the five year flashback! Are you starting to see a trend with the Czech Republic and snow? Since I grew up in Texas it was amazing to see and play in the snow! I sure miss it now . . . all my sweaters, hats, and jackets are just waiting for some cold weather . . . that means 40s in Texas!

Cesky Kumlov October 2003 . . . 7 months pregnant mind you . . . felt like it was the longest car ride in history and it was only a few hours. We had heard this was a beautiful town but no one warned us that the roads were small, narrow,and lined with those shady policemen on the road with their paddles giving tickets. I have always wondered if they were legitimate? It was a relaxing weekend of just walking (or waddling for me) around taking in the sights. Sean seemed to forget that I was carrying about 20 extra pounds around as we hiked up every incline in the city . . . I always had to find the bathrooms. It is amazing that these "poor" countries have such beautiful architecture and are so very cheap to eat an excellent meal!

Girls Night Out in Prague May 2005 . . . Jenny and I escaped for a night in Prague . . . we had a nice time being away from kids and just relaxing and drinking wine of course. We had a great dinner at a restaurant overlooking Prague and a little too much to drink . . . man that was a cheap dinner (wink, wink). We stayed at the InterContinental Hotel and it was overrun with an American insurance company having a convention . . . I want to work for a company that goes to Prague for a convention! We loved watching them and laughing at them . . . such tourist! The entire hotel was just Americans . . . we would get on the elevator and there they were . . . eat breakfast and them again. We walked out of the hotel one morning and they motioned for us to step aside with the tour group so that others could get out of the hotel . . . I told them we were not with their group but would go on their tour with them if they insisted . . . they laughed. We got on the elevator and would try to predict who they were . . . President . . . . maybe his wife . . . CEO . . . sleezy secretary. We had a fun time pretending we worked for the office in Texas. You could tell they were trying to figure us out too. Here is a photo snapped outside our hotel . . .

as you see we were having way too much fun!

My cousins on the Duty side are all girls . . . we have all had boys . . . go figure! On Christmas morning, my cousin and her husband decided to share in the "surprise" of announcing the sex of their baby. They had the ultrasound guy put the sex of the baby in an envelope that they would open on Christmas morning with the rest of the family . . . we have grown used to boys but when she opened the envelope and it said GIRL, everyone was excited. I have to admit that deep down inside my heart was hurting . . . I was thinking about the children that I would no longer be able to have with Sean . . . I just loved being pregnant and looked forward to having more kids. I decided that the time was right to get rid of some of my things. I went to my storage shed and got the plastic container of all my favorite maternity clothes. I opened it up and went through them remembering how much I loved wearing them and how tired I got of wearing the same thing over and over again. I told her that she could have whatever she wanted and she took me up on my offer! I don't regret getting rid of the stuff but it was the first piece of my old life that I let go.

I became a believer in signs on November 14, 2004. The teapot story was the turning point in my life and to this day I still find myself reading that article over and over. I received a very touching letter this weekend from a teacher at Vilseck. She is one of the host nation teachers . . . we did not know each other very well but always smiled and said hello. As I read her letter I began to cry . . . I am always touched at how people recall what they were doing on November 13, 2004 and how the news of Sean's death reached her home. Here is a portion of what she wrote . . .

For a long time I wasn't sure if I should approach you with my story. I didn't want to intrude on you knowing what you had to go through, but something changed my mind last month. Well, here is what I wanted to tell you: My oldest daughter was born a few minutes after 11 on 13 November . . . she is now an air traffic controller . . . the whole family was with her on her birthday in 2004. Just after 11 we stepped on the balcony . . . it was a dull, gray day but all of a sudden a single ray of sunshine came through the clouds and formed a halo around a starting airplane. It looked beautiful and my daughter said: "Wow, it looks like a soul going up to heaven." This only lasted for a few seconds and the sun never came out again that day. The next day I heard about Sean's death. This December I found a little Advent calendar my cousin had sent me as a card in 2004 and I had not opened the year before. So I started opening the little windows this year, and when I came to number 13 I felt a strong urge to write to you after all.

The Advent Calendar that made her write me a letter with the 13 window opened . . . when I opened number 13 I NEVER expected to see what I saw . . .


I just love this letter! No one ever intrudes on my life . . . please know that while I am a very private person, I cherish every letter or story that I get. It still amazes me that so many can remember exactly what they were doing over one year ago. I have that evening forever in my mind. Again, it makes me wonder about signs . . . are they real? They must be!

The weather in Texas is always unpredictable . . . after many months of no rain we finally got a little last night. I am so glad because there have been many wild fires in the area. It feels like winter outside . . . okay as wintery as it can for Texas. It has been very warm the last few weeks . . . in the 70s. Just what I wanted, a Sunday afternoon stuck inside all day with a wild two year old! We have played and played and now The Polar Express is playing . . . just a photo of his bad hair day . . . he needs a haircut!

Those of you who have been so lucky to receive my trip matrix will finally be glad to know that I booked my flight today! If you have no idea what I am talking about just wait a few weeks and you will. Next time you see a trip matrix it will be the FINAL one . . . sigh of relief I know. Thanks for all your input . . . I am still finalizing a couple of short hop flights and hotels! I am getting so excited and trying to name my little trip; I know always something with me!

My night stand was always a mess . . . piles of magazines, drawers full of junk but Sean's was very neat. Now, it is neater. This is what is on it . . . small photo album, framed photos, lamp, iPod, and a book Widow's Walk.

Colin does everything he can to avoid going to sleep so we have started a little routine with the night stand items. When it is nap time he grabs the framed photos off the nightstand . . . it has a photo of me graduating from Texas A&M and Sean in his Aggie Corps of Cadet senior boots. He looks at them saying . . . Daddy . . . Mama (pronounced Ma-muh). When it is bed time he grabs the small, red photo album . . . it has photos of Sean, myself, and Colin but he does not get that he is Colin. He will sometimes give the photos a kiss . . . I cry every time. I know that Sean would have just loved this sweet, little boy. He puts it back, gets his bottle, and eventually falls asleep; so peaceful. I wish it were that easy for me.

Happy Birthday to me (and Chaotic Cranium)! It is hard to believe that I am in Texas for this one but I am . . . yet one more without Sean. This is a hard one because today we are the same age. Hard for me to grasp and swallow because it was never suppose to be this way. We were never suppose to be the same age and in 2006 we are. I have always struggled with the fact that Sean will forever be young in all his photos while I continue to age and wrinkle. We were suppose to grow old together and give each other a hard time. Here is where I have been the last 32 birthdays . . .

1974 Scott & White Hospital Temple, Texas
1975-1992 Eddy, Texas
1993-1996 College Station, Texas
1997 Fort Benning, Georgia
1998 Eddy, Texas
1999-2000 Fort Campbell, Kentucky
2001-2005 Germany

Yes, even last year I was "home" to celebrate with friends in Freihung at the Sportsplatz . . . I was back to packout and say good bye to my life as a military wife. Here are a couple of photos of my special day . . .

Celebrating at The Outback in 2001 . . . YES, there used to be a real Outback Steakhouse in Wurzburg . . . leave it to us to find it. I was off the exit you take to go to the BIG PX in Wurzburg. Sadly, it changed names a zillion times and never tasted as good but let me tell you it was the best and tasted just like it does in the US. We always wondered why it closed because it was always full of Americans!


Turning the big 30 in 2004! I always thought I would have children by the age of 30 . . . Colin was born 21 days before the big 30 . . . Sean left 3 weeks later for Iraq. This was the last birthday we would celebrate together.

I am sure this year will be very low key . . . where do I want to go eat tonight? I guess I should ask where can we go eat and Colin will act nice? He has such a short attention span and waiting for food is not a priority to him.

Since I grew up in Texas I never saw snow . . . could not resist playing a little . . .
Sean with one of the beautiful buildings . . .

The gang . . . do we look young or have we just aged while in Germany? Don't answer that because I feel that I have aged 10 years the last 14 months.

These are the issues that I now worry about. Colin and I loose our free Tricare Prime coverage in less than two years and start paying an enrollment fee as if we were retirees. Are you planning to retire soon? Many of our uniformed are promised lifetime medical coverage for FREE but if the Pentagon has their way you will soon be paying double or triple for your enrollment fee . . . we are talking over $1000. If you want to voice your opinion go to this CapWiz link and send a letter to your representatives . . . it only takes a couple of minutes. If you don't say anything now then you can't complain later when you are writing that check.

Colin was up all night screaming as if he was in some sort of pain. Poor little guy and poor cranky tired mom too! He seemed to be having a hard time going to the bathroom but finally after 8 hours he was able to urinate. He seemed better but started screaming again. Our Tricare assigned civilian doctor has Saturday morning sick call from 9-12 . . . but you must be there by 1130. We quickly jumped in the car and arrived at 1115 only to be told they were already full but could go to the emergency room. Oh joy, another day in the ER. We have done that before at Scott & White and never again will I be put through that torture . . . we arrived at 530pm and left at 1100am the next day . . . we waited for over 10 hours to just hear our name called. NEVER again will I go there. We had a good experience at Hillcrest Hospital Emergency Room! We only waited for one hour and saw a doctor 10 minutes later . . . had to wait another hour for lab results but not bad. He has his first ear infection, boy was I off at what was wrong . . . I sure hope this is the last one because 10 days of giving medicine three times a day doesn’t sound like much fun! Thank goodness it isn’t something more serious.

I went to Fort Hood yesterday . . . man the retirees were out in full force. I will join their ranks on November 13, 2007 . . . Sean is considered medically retired but stays active duty on my ID card for 3 years. I am sure I won't fit in due to the huge age difference. The checker "educated" me on how to fill out a check now since I was a URW . . . I told her not to remind me of that but thanked her. I stocked up at the commissary on your typical items for a baby . . . ok, a little boy.

Later in the day I had dinner with a good friend of Sean's and mine. I had seen him several times in the last year but had really not been able to ask questions. I wrote a few months ago about a nagging issue for me. Well, one issue anyway that has haunted me the last 14 months. We had a great Outback Steak . . . ironically it is where Sean and I always loved to eat . . . maybe it had something to do with the penny I found laying so perfectly on the road reflector as I walked to my car . . . and then talked for over 3 hours. I always love to talk about Sean and listen to others tell me about his time in Iraq. I do find comfort in knowing that Sean was respected by his soldiers. I cried tons and probably went through the entire box of tissue but it was something that I needed to do. I always cry when people tell stories about Sean in Iraq . . . the details are sometimes painful but I still don't mind hearing about "it". While I will never forget the comment, I think I found some closure in my nagging issue and hope to put it behind me.

I am hesitant to even write about this topic but figured why not? There is once again more media coverage on the gear our soldiers are wearing or are not wearing. I believe that our soldiers deserve the best possible protection and that the government should provide for them. I also know that the gear is very bulky, heavy, and provides limited movement. I once put on some of Sean's gear without all the plates and it was very difficult for me to move . . . granted I am out of shape but the thought of wearing that day in and day out for over a year is amazing.

This issue has also rekindled my emotions about Sean's death. It was reported that about 80% of the soldiers who have died could have been prevented if they had this gear . . . would not have helped Sean. I can imagine the emotions that these families feel . . . how they must feel to know their son's or daughter's death could have been prevented . . . I really question these results though. The injury that caused Sean's death was to his head above his right ear . . . I can't help but wonder if the new helmet he had was a factor in his death. I am not up to date on all my research so probably shouldn't comment much . . . whatever! I had noticed in some of the more recent photos he sent that his head gear looked different . . . smaller, shorter and sat higher on his head . . . exposed more of his face and profile. I learned after his death that he in fact did have a new helmet weeks before going into Fallujah . . . this I did not know. Someone in the company asked me if I wanted his helmet . . . I was dumbfounded because I figured his helmet was disposed of because it was probably covered in blood. They explained about him getting a new one and they had the old helmet. This may seem strange but I would have liked to have the DCUs and new helmet that he was wearing . . . at least see them, hold them, smell them . . . I know that is strange but it is the one thing that we did not get back in his foot lockers. I know Colin would have loved having a clean set that his daddy wore . . . boys can dress up in them right?

I have his old helmet and it does seem to cover more on the side of his head. While I am sure there is some reasoning to these new helmets, I will always wonder if the old one would have or could have prevented his death . . . it is like pouring salt in an open wound.

I was very disappointed Sunday morning when I read in the business section of the Waco Tribune Herald that Coca Cola would stop making Vanilla Coke! They are replacing it with Black Cherry Vanilla Coke . . . hey, that's not the same. It did mention that they would bring it back for special occasions . . . does that mean when I am having a bad day I can call and they will send me one? I never grew up drinking carbonated drinks . . . we drank iced tea and water . . . but about once a month I would want a Dr. Pepper or IBC Root Beer. I remember the first time I had a Vanilla Coke . . . let me see . . . I was walking into the the Vilseck PX when I met one of my fellow teacher, Toni. She was lugging a 12 pack and I asked if she liked Vanilla Coke? She said yes, it is great and gave me one to try. The rest is history. I became addicted to them and would stock a twelve pack in my refrigerator at school! I soon realized that they make you gain weight so backed off. I still enjoy one from time to time and it took the edge off during Colin's birthday party . . . no, it was not laced with any liquor. I made a run to Target yesterday and bought all they had, at least I have 36 to ration until November.

I used to get emails from Blogger when I posted new things on the blog . . . get emails when someone posted a comment . . . the last two days I have received nothing . . . is something wrong with Blogger? Just curious!

When I noticed that Tom (Sean's brother) posted a picture of an anti-war poster on his blog, I immediately remembered our run in with war protestors while on a R&R trip to Spain in April 2003. We had a pretty good idea that 1ID would be heading to Iraq the next year . . . Sean supported the president and knew if he went he would be doing the right thing.

Well no good news to report about the unfair benefits for widows of the fallen soldiers. In fact the SBP/DIC offset did not pass and was not included in the budget . . . I came across this on Senator Warner's (Virginia) website:

Under the existing statutory framework, SBP payments are integrated and must be offset dollar for dollar by DIC payments. This offset limits the overall cost to the federal government and reflects the original intent of Congress to provide a secure level of income for survivors of active duty decedents and certain military retirees, but not two separate and distinct benefits.

HUUUMMMMM . . . that is a huge slap in the face! I would like for him to tell me where you can live on $993 a month? This is all that most widows receive. I am sure they will find money to vote themselves a raise! Thanks for all those who used the CapWiz link to send a letter to your representatives . . . we are not stopping and will continue the effort again! THANKS.

I was looking over all my photos from the holidays and realized my brain must have forgotten to snap a few photos. "My wife" (Jenny) was in town during Christmas! We finally got to see each other after six long months. It was nice to be away from kids and eat at a normal pace . . . it seemed everyone that they sat around our table had a child under 1 . . . we could not escape them! Baby L was sick and slept the entire time I was there so did not get a photo of her but Baby E was wide eyed and afraid she was going to miss something . . . I can't believe how big the girls have grown . . . it seems like yesterday they were born but now are over 9 months old! Baby E has been so sick and in the hospital . . . hope she gets better soon . . . her mommy needs to save her sick days for when she is "sick" . . . I guess during the excitement of seeing each other my brain shut down and forgot to take pictures . . . I never take photos of myself . . . but did snap this lone photo . . .

Oh well, maybe next time we are together my brain will remember to snap a photo of me and "my wife"! By the way, how is that calendar working for you?

There are things in my life that I have learned just by watching . . . when the Star Spangled Banner is played most people remove their hats and/or place their hand on their hearts . . . when you meet a funeral procession you pull off the road and stop. Maybe these have to do with being raised in a small town in Texas maybe not. I was out running errands yesterday when I met a funeral procession of about 10 cars, I immediately pulled to the right and waited for all the cars to pass. I was about to pull back into the road when the obnoxious driver behind me revved his engine and passed me! The nerve of this man. It wasn't like I was driving slow or anything but I was just being respectful to the family of this unknown person.

If there is one thing that I remember about Sean's funeral it is the drive from the church to the cemetery. The funeral mass was held at St. Mary's across from the campus of A&M and the cemetery is on the other side of town so we had to drive a few miles down one of the busiest streets in College Station. I remember students stopping as we turned onto University across from the campus . . . ironically when I was in college I remember stopping for a funeral procession and cars whizzing by me, I couldn't believe that people were so disrespectful . . . when we turned onto Texas Avenue I remember people getting out of their cars and standing in the middle of the road with their hands on their heart . . . and then there were the guys from the local VFW post . . . God love them . . . they looked so amazing standing at the gates of the cemetery as we turned in . . . the cemetery had hung the American flags out front and it looked so patriotic. It was truly amazing how total strangers took the time to pay such respect to someone that they did not even know. This I will never forget! I guess little things like this man just get on my nerves!

I just returned home from Colin's two year well-baby check up . . . yes, he is still my baby! He is weighing in at 26.6 pounds, has a big head, and is 2 foot 10 inches tall . . . where is my cuddly little baby boy? I always make an early morning appointment thinking the doctor will not be too far behind with his schedule! Man was I totally wrong today. We had a 9:00am appointment so I arrived at 8:45am . . . waited until 9:45am to get weighed in and then had to sit for another 15 minutes in the shoebox room. Colin was going stir crazy. Every person in the waiting room was over 70 so I was so worried that an active 2 year old would get on their last nerve! When we got into the shoebox room, I resorted to letting him play in the sink . . . it worked keeping him busy! Needless to say a two year old is about at his wits end by this point . . . we won't even talk about my stress level! All this for a 15 minute "visit" from the doctor, who I really like. Oh well, what am I going to do? Why do doctor's office book their appointments so darn close together?

create your own visited countries map



create your own visited states map


. . . I still have many places to visit in my life! I sure need to get busy traveling!

I have been looking very forward to returning back to Europe for a little trip . . . of course with a few day visit to Germany to see friends. Sean and I had started discussing where we wanted to spend his post-Iraq block leave. I was hesitant to make any decisions because he still had 3 months in Iraq before he was to come home but we decided to spend most of his leave in Italy, but Fallujah changed all that. We had been to Venice and Verona but wanted to explore the southern part of Italy. I have been thinking about this for many months and have longed to go to where we had planned to go . . . sort of my version of the TV show The Amazing Race . . . which I just love!

Sidenote: One of these days I will find a partner to try out for this great adventure! One of my favorite 5th grade students got me hooked on this show.

The time is quickly approaching for me to depart for this trip and I have zero plans and no plane ticket either! Okay, so I have this matrix with five different options of where I arrive, visit, and depart . . . it is pretty elaborate but I am waiting on a few people to give me their plans so I can meet up with them. I finally asked for an additional week from work so I now have a two week Spring Break! I am hoping to visit Rome, Florence, stop over in Vicenza with friends, Amsterdam, and of course a few days in good old Germany! I will keep you posted . . .

Christmas vacation has finally ended . . . where did those two weeks go? Someone in our house was sick the entire time and of course I was the last one. I am feeling a little better but probably have tons of medicine built up in my body right now! It is going to take a few days to get back into our routine but I sure did enjoy staying home and being lazy! I had PJs on all day yesterday and it was nice. Guess I better get ready for the kiddos!

I am usually not the type of person who makes New Year resolutions but I am finally starting to get into my new life . . . so maybe I will attempt to make a couple! I am not going to make any about exercising because those usually never work out but I do need to start running again . . . I just feel better when I get some exercise!

1. Finish the Travel Scrapbook I started during my summer 2004 visit to Texas. I started putting all the photos of our trips into a book . . . picked the 5-7 that I just loved and made them look nice. It was my summer project that I was going to finish during our Christmas 2004 trip but life changed on November 13.

2. Get copies of the million digital photos from our travels from 2000-2004 and put into photo albums . . . I have already bought the albums . . . just need to get them in order!

3. Organize all the articles and photos that deal with Sean's death . . . all are just in a plastic container waiting for some sort of organization . . . this might be pushing it just a little bit.

4. Take time for myself! What is that?

5. Finish Colin's baby book . . . I have put photos in there but did not write anything on the lines . . . hey, that sounds just like my wedding book too!

6. Finish Colin's Holiday Scrapbook . . . this will be the easiest to accomplish! I think I will have this done by the end of January.

7. Think seriously about where I want to buy a house . . . oh my!

This should keep me busy for a while and then I can come up with some more later in the year. Why does it seem that most of these are short term? I need some long term goals but then again my brain still does not function in the long term mode . . . baby steps!