Learning to Live

Oh who am I kidding . . . there is no 'we' . . . I survived. I knew Colin would be fine and I was right. Of course when he saw kids waiting on the bus, he couldn't understand why he couldn't just ride the bus. We got to school before the doors were unlocked but when they unlocked them we went to the holding area (gym) . . .

. . we were then released to his classroom. As soon as we walked into his room he put away his rest towel, back pack, and found his name plate on the table . . . and without hesitation looked at me and said, "bye Mom!" I guess he was ready to be on his own but I wasn't ready to set him free . . . I watched him write his name and color and about 3 minutes later told him it was time for me to go. I gave him a hug and kiss and his eyes followed me to the door . . . and just like that it was over! I was fine until I continued thinking about it . . . and then I was at my school doing my own thing. As long as I did not think about the process, I was fine . . .

The bus was 20 minutes late which means I stood in the blazing sun without shade as I could feel sweat forming on parts of my body I won't mention, LOL! The bus route was just formed a few days ago and our street wasn't on his list . . . Colin told him it was his street so after chatting with me he let him off! We walked back to our house and I of course was asking a million and one questions . . . first things was did you get in trouble? I told him the truth and mommy would not be upset with him . . . "well, a tiny bit because I got off my rest towel . . . mom I just wasn't tired." OH GREAT, please tell me that this will not be a constant struggle for the next 9 months because I have about had my fill of listening to lectures from teachers about how important it is for him to stay on that towel . . . I get it . . . trust me if I was told to take a rest in the middle of the day; I'm there!
As I left the room . . .

As hard as it is for me to believe, my baby boy is 5 and starts Kindergarten tomorrow. How did we get to this point? It seems like only yesterday he was born and I was stuck for days in the German hospital just waiting to go home! And tomorrow he starts school . . . I tell you I never imagined this would be so difficult for me but the last 24 have been a little emotional. Looking back to our life in 2004, I never imagined we would be where we are and there are days it feels like yesterday and days it feels like 10 years ago. These 'milestones' are always hard and emotional for me. Time has a way of giving me a big dose of reality from time to time.

There is a new elementary school in our town . . . we were barely in the attendance zone . . . I was not happy about him attending a brand new school . . . just me and nothing personal against any of the teachers but the first year of a new school just doesn't seem ideal to me. I don't know how to explain it.

So last night was "Meet the Teacher" night and off we went. As we pulled out of the driveway, I told Colin that I was a little sad that he was already starting 'big boy' school and that I am having a hard time accepting him growing up and getting so big . . . to that he said, "Oh, Mommy don't be sad. I will come back home to you." sniff, sniff My heart was really sad and I could barely see the road for the tears clouding my vision. If he only knew what I was really feeling about our life and how I managed to some what pull life together for him. As we drove I told him that when the teacher saw him and asked his name that he had to speak up and introduce himself and his mommy too. As a teacher I was always impressed with students who would do this and tell me their mom's/dad's name too. So we practiced the spill . . . hello my name is Colin and this is my mommy, Heidi. We get to the school and he jumped out with his backpack full of supplies . . . strutting oh so fast to get to the front door! I looked at the list of classes and thought they seemed very full . . . about 23 in each Kindergarten group so of course a red flag went up; great! It is a very nice school . . . I did get lost . . . we finally found his room. The room was small but again I can't imagine adding that many kids to the mix either! So we read the board and I started filling out paperwork . . . the teacher approaches us and says, "Hi, I'm Mrs. D . . . what is your name?" I looked at him and then my heart melted and tears built up again . . . he did it so naturally . . . okay so I'm sure she knew we rehearsed it but hey he is only 5. They had a little chat as I continued to sign my name for the 100th time; why did I fill out all those forms during Kindergarten Roundup in May? Mrs. D then told Colin to put his supplies in the correct bins . . . oh remember my little rant about the sharing of supplies? And Colin looks at her and without a beat says, "Hmmm how will you know which one is mine because my name isn't on here?" I was so laughing inside! She told him that they 'share' and he just looked at her as if he wasn't that impressed with her answer . . . that's my boy. I told Mrs. D good luck with that concept! Knowing Colin he knows exactly which box of Kleenex (because that is the brand the list said) is the one her bought and the first time they use scissors he will dig in the box and find the exact pair he bought . . . I mean come on if picking out your supplies motivates you for school only to arrive and be told that someone else is using them . . . okay, okay, I won't get on my soapbox . . . I mean just charge me a flat supply fee and all supplies are exactly the same! I promise I'll stop!

Off to enjoy the last hours of my non-school boy . . . of course I will not sleep very well tonight worrying about getting him there on time and oh the traffic will be a zoo! They never have enough parking spaces!

Oh well . . . wishing Colin and Mrs. D and happy, fun, productive, and very successful year! Oh you know I will have something to say tomorrow, he-he!

***excuse the non-professional editing of school name and Mrs. D's name badge . . . I so don't know how to make it look 'nice'

Oh where to begin . . . has been a quick week! Let's see . . . my summer is officially over in less than 48 hours! I put the summer 2009 blog to rest with a final post. Oh I sure can't wait to start another blog devoted just to our traveling ways . . . I tell you when I am out and about I am at my best which means I am totally relaxed with very little stress . . . too bad there is something called reality. I do hope to share more about my summer of fun in the next month or two . . . I need to finally put out some closure.

So since summer is over that means school starts back . . . yiiipppppeeee! Yes, I am so ready to get back in the groove and to work/school. I think it is the first time I have been ready to go back . . . well okay so let the countdown to Christmas break begin, LOL.

We ventured to Austin mid-week to see Tommy and Elva . . . always nice to chat and of course eat lunch! We ate at this place and was yummy . . . the Italian product selection for sale was good too! I had a mission and did what I planned to do so that was nice to get off my list of 'to-do'.

I spent the day yesterday with Jenny . . . oh how nice it is to be less than one hour from my closest friend . . . and all three kids were with sitters . . . our mission was to work and move things into her classroom . . . and we did good BUT one of us was easily sidetracked, he-he! We did make a run to buy some supplies and while at Hobby Lobby I found this cool fabric . . .

I had seen it before when a lady was showing it at the local quilt store but could not find it any where . . . oh my mind is already spinning thinking about what I can use it for . . . and I bought yardage so a big project can take place!

Colin just arrived home with this in hand . . . and he proudly exclaimed, "Mommy I got these for you and they are your favorites." Oh that boy sure knows what I like . . . now if he would just listen all the time.

It is still super hot and dry in my part of the world but not as hot as some places so won't complain too much. Off to spend the day hanging out . . . enjoy the weekend and take time to cherish and enjoy the important things in life.

My garden has been totally neglected this summer but my zinnias managed to thrive even though I was jet-setting this summer . . . oh how I love bright colorful flowers . . . I have no luck with Gerber Daisies so these will do just fine!

It has been almost five years since Sean died . . . I knew he was gone, forever . . . I read about this last night. I can not imagine how this family must be feeling today . . . after so many years have passed and toddlers are now grown up and adults themselves . . . I just can't imagine. I can only hope that knowing will give them some sort of closure . . . if there really is such a thing when you loose a family member at war.