Yikes, time has really gotten away from me posting on here. I don't know why but seems to always be pushed aside. My mind is always spinning and has something to say but just never gets put down on 'paper'. As I sit here looking outside at the storm approaching, the trees are blowing, and our poor flag is being whipped in all directions all while Colin is peacefully sleeping, I think about life. I never really took the time to think about what Memorial Day meant before I married someone in the military. In fact the magnitude of the holiday probably never sank in until 2005 which was the first Memorial Day that it hit me hard. Sean had been gone right at 6 months, and I was still trying to accept his death. Not that I have every truly accepted his death and now we are 12 Memorial Days down. I know he is dead but for some reason my mind just can not grasp that concept. He is forever in my heart and the day he died a piece of my heart forever died too. Colin and I remember him each and every day. I feel so much sorrow for what Colin missed out on by not getting to know his father . . . probably my greatest sadness in my life, ever! I can not imagine what his poor head and heart must endure . . . all he knows is what I and others have shared with him and only a handful of photos of the two of them. Pure sadness and heartbreaking for me and I know it must be for him too.
We remember Sean each and everyday . . . our lives have moved forward but our hearts were forever touched and broken the day we lost him.
Over the past 12 years I have met many other families just like us . . . our kids were so young and now all growing up so quickly. My Facebook feed is full of photos of there lost loves too . . . it makes me sad to see all the photos but warms my heart and puts a smile on my face too. Here's to all those we loved and lost and to this day continue to remember!
