u told me that i need to be honest all the time in front of u. therefore i always tell u the truth without telling any lie. i can tell u that everything i said to u is the truth no matter u believe it or not and i hope that u will do the same to me. sometimes i found out tat u r not telling me the truth but of cos i wont go bocorkan them cos i believe that ppl do tell lies for good purpose. but in the other hand, for me...i think i would rather listen to the truth. i just dun understand why there's still something that u cant tell me truth...even the very small tiny thing. i'll think bout it. what will happen if u tell me the truth? i will laugh at u? insult u? i think u oso know these things wont happen rite? u have known me well enuff i guess. hope i'm not wrong.
"Lonely, i'm Mr Lonely, i got no buddy, all of my own" i'm not sure the title of this song. but it's nice. n this phase is wad i feel most of the time during my life in Uni. i came here to IMU all by myself. i know no1 from the uni and my housemates were strangers too. i had to do everything all by myself but luckily my sis is here too...so it's not tat bad. but when i was in Uni, i could feel this very strongly. i can see different gang in the Uni n i'm all alone. even til now...things are still the same. yea, i haf known plenty of ppl in the Uni, but ppl will still have stronger bonds wif the original group. once i get home, everything is back to usual. i got to do most of the things alone. but i know i can handle it although will think a lot of rubbish when i was down. when things got back to normal condition, i know tat being alone is not a big deal. even ppl like me oso can fix myself into this kind of situation, why not U? when u actually have more frens than me n bzier life than me? dun worry...just go for wad u wan.
IMU ball? i'm goin...i haf to go. but i still cant find the reasons for me to be there. will the ball become different without me? no...definately! if the answer is yes...it will onli become better. u 2 keep on asking me to go but neva tell me why shud i go? for fun? gather wif ppl? yea...mebe those are the reason. no matter wad, i'm goin...i haf to go!
a new week is coming. it's goin to be bzier than the previous 1..hope everything's fine in the coming week..there will be shopping goin on i guess :)
Monday, March 28, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Happy Easter Day!
Yo! happy easter day everyone! haha...i'm sure most of u know wad easter day means...so i dun haf to explain much here. hope u guys enjoy the day :)
nothing much to say today...although i wasnt having a good time in the morning and afternoon becos of tireness. but i wanna say thanks to chris...of inviting me to his church i really have a good time there tonite and yea...i learn a lot. haha! easter service tmr morning. goin to be a bz day again.
ya ya! i checked my timetable this morning and i'm goin to have my summative 2 exam on 3rd of june which is exactly the same day as the "JI ER 30" thing. goin to miss it again this year! so sad....hope i will have the chance la next year!
hrm...wish me luck for tmr and the new coming week!
nothing much to say today...although i wasnt having a good time in the morning and afternoon becos of tireness. but i wanna say thanks to chris...of inviting me to his church i really have a good time there tonite and yea...i learn a lot. haha! easter service tmr morning. goin to be a bz day again.
ya ya! i checked my timetable this morning and i'm goin to have my summative 2 exam on 3rd of june which is exactly the same day as the "JI ER 30" thing. goin to miss it again this year! so sad....hope i will have the chance la next year!
hrm...wish me luck for tmr and the new coming week!
Saturday, March 26, 2005
report at midnite
it's oledi 4am in the morning. but i still cant sleep yet. have been lying on the bed since 1 hour ago. my brain cells are still very active. a lot of works goin on inside there. but the main reason for me to have this insomnia is that my stomach is not feeling well! haha funny eh! eaten too much for my supper oledi...tat's the reason why i'm growing fatter and fatter oso. hehe! have to wake up real early later although it's a saturday. cos i m having lecture on CPR at 9. hope i can wake up on time later.
today is one of my fren's bday. we all went to his place n celebrate wif him at 12am just now. every1 seems to be happy and once again i show my characteristic as a wet blanket! i was down...yea! it sounds so normal eh. ya..becos of some sort of prob which is very hard to explain here...it's a long story, will share wif u guys when i have the chance. feel so sorry to everyone there. i'm the type of person who will always show the emotion very clearly. whenever i feel unhappy(which always happen) everyone will know it...i guess! thanks for those who care of me =p n listen to me. i feel a lot better oledi.
n sorry fren, wad i have said to u just now might hurt u, i know some of the words i use are strong but i dun really mean it. my brain is just now functioning well although it's active...not in the proper way i guess. but wadever i have said is said..i cant take it back. i hope you understand. n i just wan to tell u that u r one of my best and closest fren and i can really tok wadever wif u lo. hope u dun mind if sometimes i m being emotional. hope this frendship will neva end.
problems do come in our life time to time. they are the challenges in our lives to make us to become a better person. we will grow stronger after we have gone through the challenges. so we shall take them with open handed and try our best to solve them but not to hide from them...hope i can do that oso!
hrm...i guess i shud go back to my bed and try to sleep again. or else i can neva make it for the lecture later. share more next time ya! i understand i always complaining at this blogs hope u guys wont get bored! haha!
ps: dunno u guys know bout this activity "JI ER 30" or not. it's bout fasting for 30 hours. it's organised from 3rd to 4th June. interested or not? gord and chris? i wan to join la...join wif me if u guys r interested. tell me asap ah. need to get the registeration form :) lolz
today is one of my fren's bday. we all went to his place n celebrate wif him at 12am just now. every1 seems to be happy and once again i show my characteristic as a wet blanket! i was down...yea! it sounds so normal eh. ya..becos of some sort of prob which is very hard to explain here...it's a long story, will share wif u guys when i have the chance. feel so sorry to everyone there. i'm the type of person who will always show the emotion very clearly. whenever i feel unhappy(which always happen) everyone will know it...i guess! thanks for those who care of me =p n listen to me. i feel a lot better oledi.
n sorry fren, wad i have said to u just now might hurt u, i know some of the words i use are strong but i dun really mean it. my brain is just now functioning well although it's active...not in the proper way i guess. but wadever i have said is said..i cant take it back. i hope you understand. n i just wan to tell u that u r one of my best and closest fren and i can really tok wadever wif u lo. hope u dun mind if sometimes i m being emotional. hope this frendship will neva end.
problems do come in our life time to time. they are the challenges in our lives to make us to become a better person. we will grow stronger after we have gone through the challenges. so we shall take them with open handed and try our best to solve them but not to hide from them...hope i can do that oso!
hrm...i guess i shud go back to my bed and try to sleep again. or else i can neva make it for the lecture later. share more next time ya! i understand i always complaining at this blogs hope u guys wont get bored! haha!
ps: dunno u guys know bout this activity "JI ER 30" or not. it's bout fasting for 30 hours. it's organised from 3rd to 4th June. interested or not? gord and chris? i wan to join la...join wif me if u guys r interested. tell me asap ah. need to get the registeration form :) lolz
Thursday, March 24, 2005
sigh
i have to admit here that i'm not a good leader or wadever shit la! i cant hold any position la...no responsibility i guess n cant make up my mind for decisions. ya...i'm the vice president of amsa...wad a big joke is tat. dun think i can do it but just try my best.
well, this AMSC (asian medical students' conference) thing is making me crazee.at 1st there was no1 who is interested in joining and now, there are more than enuff. wad shud i do? i had make an announcement during the lectures cos at 1st not many members said to me that they are interested in it and i was thinking of giving this oppurtunity to the non member but who knows the members oso come at the same time. i was thinking...is tat a wrong move to make an announcement as chris said?but i really din expect so many ppl to be interested in it since it's so expensive. and i oso din know that members r more than enuff! sigh~...
they said the best way to solve this problem is to have an interview for all of them n choose the best 10 but i really hope that my frens who are the members can really join the conference n summore they r the 1st ones to join. i'll feel so bad if any1 of them cant join becos of my decision!
there's another way to solve this which is giving priority for the members. this sound reasonable for most of the ppl. but wad bout those non members who r really interested in this? they will probably been thinking if this's wad we want...then wad's the announcement for? i cant answer that!
ya..there's nothing perfect in this world. i have to make my decision. so now i have decided to give the priority for the members...if not why they join the association? i'm sure those who got no chance to go after all might feel bad and mebe angry of me but i really haf to do this. be a bad guy for once...dun care bout what the others will think of me. just leave it! the decision has to be made. sigh~!
well, this AMSC (asian medical students' conference) thing is making me crazee.at 1st there was no1 who is interested in joining and now, there are more than enuff. wad shud i do? i had make an announcement during the lectures cos at 1st not many members said to me that they are interested in it and i was thinking of giving this oppurtunity to the non member but who knows the members oso come at the same time. i was thinking...is tat a wrong move to make an announcement as chris said?but i really din expect so many ppl to be interested in it since it's so expensive. and i oso din know that members r more than enuff! sigh~...
they said the best way to solve this problem is to have an interview for all of them n choose the best 10 but i really hope that my frens who are the members can really join the conference n summore they r the 1st ones to join. i'll feel so bad if any1 of them cant join becos of my decision!
there's another way to solve this which is giving priority for the members. this sound reasonable for most of the ppl. but wad bout those non members who r really interested in this? they will probably been thinking if this's wad we want...then wad's the announcement for? i cant answer that!
ya..there's nothing perfect in this world. i have to make my decision. so now i have decided to give the priority for the members...if not why they join the association? i'm sure those who got no chance to go after all might feel bad and mebe angry of me but i really haf to do this. be a bad guy for once...dun care bout what the others will think of me. just leave it! the decision has to be made. sigh~!
Monday, March 21, 2005
life goes on~
it's oledi 1 am, i have just taken my before sleep bath, realising that my 1st week in sem 2 is over. din do much things in this week beside driving up and down, far and near. everyone seems to be so bz. but probably all of them r not bzing bout the studies. most of them r bzing bout things related to the coming IMU ball: food fair, basketball and volleyball. seems that i'm the onli 1 who is free all the time. but feel so sorry to myself cos din really make use of the time for my studies. have promised myself to study everyday when the new sem started but it din work in the 1st week. hope will have a better disipline in the coming week. actually i have planned to study for today...oops, i mean yesterday which is sunday. but at last it doesnt work out oso!
ya...toking bout IMU ball. i've promised gord to go for it since he has decided to join the AMSC. yea...thanks gord! but i'm still thinking whether i shud be there on that day or not. i just feel like the ball and any events like this is not for ppl like me to go. wet blanket? yea...a lil bit! beside tat...it's bout socialization. i'm not a sociable person actually. i think i will end up standing alone at a corner if i attend the ball. haha! hope i can do better than tat if i'm goin.
sigh~not in the writing mood today! i will leave the rest for the next time. goin to read the CSU booklet before i sleep. got CSU tmr in the early morning. hope i wont screw it up! yea...tmr will be a better day! nitez
ya...toking bout IMU ball. i've promised gord to go for it since he has decided to join the AMSC. yea...thanks gord! but i'm still thinking whether i shud be there on that day or not. i just feel like the ball and any events like this is not for ppl like me to go. wet blanket? yea...a lil bit! beside tat...it's bout socialization. i'm not a sociable person actually. i think i will end up standing alone at a corner if i attend the ball. haha! hope i can do better than tat if i'm goin.
sigh~not in the writing mood today! i will leave the rest for the next time. goin to read the CSU booklet before i sleep. got CSU tmr in the early morning. hope i wont screw it up! yea...tmr will be a better day! nitez
Friday, March 18, 2005
untitled
i have waited for ages to get the loading of this page done. damn connection! dunno wad's wrong wif it these few days. actually i have nothing much to say la today! not really in good mood! my thoughts are all messed up. dunno where to start!
hey fren, guess u r sleepin at this time. hope u have a nice dream. i do haf a lot of doubts in u and oso myself. but i know i cant question u bout all those becos if i did, i'm sure our friendship will be spoiled. so i decided to keep the unanswered questions to myself. hope can figure them out when i know u better. being a high neuroticism person..i'm sensitive and emotional, yeah! they are both shown here.
when this incident is onli about 2 of u...then wad am i doin here? wad kind of position i'm holding? do i really haf to do those i haf done? all these questions r still not answered.
friend...wad kind of fren am i? i cant even answer it myself. ppl come to me when they need help..does tat means they take me as fren? no matter wad, i will help cos i take them as my frens. this is the onli question i m sure bout the answer so far.
know wad, i always try to avoid eyes contact and any other types of contact when i'm facing the ones i care. i'm afraid that my care will be shown too clearly to the person and the others. why am i doing this? is it the right thing to do? i dunno!
i know u guys must be blurred when reading this. this is what exactly happen in my mind. forget bout it if u dun understand it. God, i leave all these unanswered questions to U, and i know U will bring me to the best ever answers..Amen
hey fren, guess u r sleepin at this time. hope u have a nice dream. i do haf a lot of doubts in u and oso myself. but i know i cant question u bout all those becos if i did, i'm sure our friendship will be spoiled. so i decided to keep the unanswered questions to myself. hope can figure them out when i know u better. being a high neuroticism person..i'm sensitive and emotional, yeah! they are both shown here.
when this incident is onli about 2 of u...then wad am i doin here? wad kind of position i'm holding? do i really haf to do those i haf done? all these questions r still not answered.
friend...wad kind of fren am i? i cant even answer it myself. ppl come to me when they need help..does tat means they take me as fren? no matter wad, i will help cos i take them as my frens. this is the onli question i m sure bout the answer so far.
know wad, i always try to avoid eyes contact and any other types of contact when i'm facing the ones i care. i'm afraid that my care will be shown too clearly to the person and the others. why am i doing this? is it the right thing to do? i dunno!
i know u guys must be blurred when reading this. this is what exactly happen in my mind. forget bout it if u dun understand it. God, i leave all these unanswered questions to U, and i know U will bring me to the best ever answers..Amen
Thursday, March 17, 2005
hope i'm not fooled by you
i think there's no blogger like me to post so many in 1 day. anyway, if u ppl do haf msn messenger u might find the title in my nick. n well, u ppl might wan to ask me...wad's with the nick!? ya chris? well, hope u can get the answer from here.
well, for me i think i'm a person who can trust frens easily...dunno wad u guys think. anyway, if my frens tell me anything, i will really go n believe it cos i think there's no reason for them to tell me sth but not the truth...it doesnt make sense rite? but when i think back bout it...it does happen! i have been fooled before. why does a fren who seems to be close to you tell u lies? i couldnt get the answer til now. mebe they dun treat me as fren? or they think i dun haf to know much bout them? or i'm not a good fren indeed? but for me, i take friendship as sth very important in my life. i know i do not have a lot of frens but i'm close wif most of my frens. i always try my best to help every of my frens as long as i can do it, at least that's wad i think. helpin each other, sharing the feeling...tat's how i define friendship. but i understand that not every1 think the same as i do. that's why i always get hurt by fren...yea it's really hurt but i wont blame them cos different ppl have different thoughts and i know i cant expect ppl to tell me everything in their lives!! but these do make me feel insecure in friendship.
anyway, back to my topic. i'm being very honest here guys, i really believe whatever u guys told me and i really appreciate that but deep in my heart...i can find the doubt inside it. i always ask myself...is it true wad he said? could he be telling lies? but guys, the conclusion is still..i believe i really do! i find no reason for me to not trusting u all when u all actually trusted me but i still hope that i'm not fooled by any1 of u. hope u wont have any hard feeling about what i said. cos i'm really trying to be honest. remember this is my secret room. all these are really how i feel!
hope u guys can get the answer here...if got anything to tell me, can leave the comment or chat wif me "privately". haha! it's getting late oledi. guess it's time for me to sleep.... nitez!
well, for me i think i'm a person who can trust frens easily...dunno wad u guys think. anyway, if my frens tell me anything, i will really go n believe it cos i think there's no reason for them to tell me sth but not the truth...it doesnt make sense rite? but when i think back bout it...it does happen! i have been fooled before. why does a fren who seems to be close to you tell u lies? i couldnt get the answer til now. mebe they dun treat me as fren? or they think i dun haf to know much bout them? or i'm not a good fren indeed? but for me, i take friendship as sth very important in my life. i know i do not have a lot of frens but i'm close wif most of my frens. i always try my best to help every of my frens as long as i can do it, at least that's wad i think. helpin each other, sharing the feeling...tat's how i define friendship. but i understand that not every1 think the same as i do. that's why i always get hurt by fren...yea it's really hurt but i wont blame them cos different ppl have different thoughts and i know i cant expect ppl to tell me everything in their lives!! but these do make me feel insecure in friendship.
anyway, back to my topic. i'm being very honest here guys, i really believe whatever u guys told me and i really appreciate that but deep in my heart...i can find the doubt inside it. i always ask myself...is it true wad he said? could he be telling lies? but guys, the conclusion is still..i believe i really do! i find no reason for me to not trusting u all when u all actually trusted me but i still hope that i'm not fooled by any1 of u. hope u wont have any hard feeling about what i said. cos i'm really trying to be honest. remember this is my secret room. all these are really how i feel!
hope u guys can get the answer here...if got anything to tell me, can leave the comment or chat wif me "privately". haha! it's getting late oledi. guess it's time for me to sleep.... nitez!
AMSA recruitment drive
My hard work for the whole nite...but it doesnt looks good! hope can do better :(
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Welcome
hi friends...welcome to my blog. 1st of all, if u wish to see something nice...mebe u shud leave right now...cos there wont be any nice pictures around but onli my "secrets". enjoy reading! well, today is my 3rd day for my sem 2 at IMU. finally haf to start studying after more than a month holiday. so i stayed at lib for the whole afternoon. and i haf no idea why my connection only get fast after 6pm. so i guess i will onli be posting after tat time.
suddenly thought of this, those who r my ex classmates...or my classmates now might find me quiet during the class. sometimes i haf no idea why i'm doin this oso. most probably i always think tat i cant tok well and i feel that others r not like me...they got lots of frens and they might prefer to tok wif others rather than me. therefore, when there's a big group of ppl together...ppl will find me quiet. somehow, i really prefer to tok in a small group of 2 to 3 ppl. i always believe that this kind of conversation will be more sincere and meaningful. (there'll be less craps around =p) i guess that's just me! i'm so sorry to my frens if i do not tok to u sometimes. hope u guys will understand and i'll try my best to improve bout tat.
yeah....it's time for dinner! and my instant noodle is waiting for me! have a nice day :)
suddenly thought of this, those who r my ex classmates...or my classmates now might find me quiet during the class. sometimes i haf no idea why i'm doin this oso. most probably i always think tat i cant tok well and i feel that others r not like me...they got lots of frens and they might prefer to tok wif others rather than me. therefore, when there's a big group of ppl together...ppl will find me quiet. somehow, i really prefer to tok in a small group of 2 to 3 ppl. i always believe that this kind of conversation will be more sincere and meaningful. (there'll be less craps around =p) i guess that's just me! i'm so sorry to my frens if i do not tok to u sometimes. hope u guys will understand and i'll try my best to improve bout tat.
yeah....it's time for dinner! and my instant noodle is waiting for me! have a nice day :)
Testing
wua...my 1st ever post on my blog...not really sure how to use the function yet.hopefully i can post this up! if i can successfully post this up...then onli i will continue with the others....pray for me!
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