wad's the word sorry means to u? ppl say sorry becos they think someone might be angry with him or her. but did they do sth wrong? they themselves have no idea bout it. they just think tat saying tat word is the cure for everything n it's just a word for both parties to feel better..they say it without knowing the reason behind it. they dun even know wad they did wrong and just use the word to get everything done. wad a powerful word huh? well, i think ppl shud say sorry onli when they feel tat they did sth wrong n that's when the apologize comes. if not wad's the purpose for them to say sorry without knowing wad they did wrong..or they haf no idea tat they did mistakes. ahh...i'm repeating things over and over again. anyway...wad i'm trying to say is tat there's useless for someone who dunno his mistake to say SORRY!
fren...is the U i know the real u? wad a question. or the U i know is the one with mask which show all the best of u and hide mebe the small little bad of u? is wad i feel is true...why r u living the life like tat? isnt it hard for u to not be urself? isnt it difficult for u to hide urself from everyone? u told me tat ppl cant make all the other beside him to be happy all the time..but why r u always trying so hard to do sth tat u might not like it so tat the others will be happy bout it? i hope u r living ur own life but not for the others...do wad u think u shud do. dunno why...i find it hard to approach u sometimes for certain things compare with others. if i dunno well enuff bout u and i'm not who i am now...i'll just leave everything behind...but i believe tat wad i'm believing now is true...i know who u r...anyway, this thing doesnt belong to any1 in particular beside me...so dun think too much =P but fren...if u r happy with ur life now...just go on with it...i'll always by ur side .....NITEZ
Monday, June 27, 2005
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
far or near
human's mind is complicated...u can never actually know wad's in someone mind and most of the time ppl cant understand wad themselves want n thinking. tat's one of the reason why there are so many weird things happen around us without knowing the reason behind it.
why do ppl like to go for something impossible. ppl know so well tat there's sth tat will neva happen but they still wont give up to get wad they want and hoping for some miracle to happen. i'm not trying to say tat there's no miracle but there's sth tat is so clearly tat it wont happen. and therefore ppl give and give n give for sth tat will not bring any feedback..just like throwing money into the sea. but as long as they are willing to do it..then there's nothing for the others to say. it might be one of the happiness..
but actually there's another alternative which is much more better. they give and receive at the same time. they know tat they can have this anytime they wan and forget bout the one which onli make them sad, angry n all the negative feelings...but at last they choose the 1st one the one tat is far from them but not the one that they can get within a step. mebe tat's wad the life's for...i'm also seeking for my way to get out from the box that i set to myself..........................................
why do ppl like to go for something impossible. ppl know so well tat there's sth tat will neva happen but they still wont give up to get wad they want and hoping for some miracle to happen. i'm not trying to say tat there's no miracle but there's sth tat is so clearly tat it wont happen. and therefore ppl give and give n give for sth tat will not bring any feedback..just like throwing money into the sea. but as long as they are willing to do it..then there's nothing for the others to say. it might be one of the happiness..
but actually there's another alternative which is much more better. they give and receive at the same time. they know tat they can have this anytime they wan and forget bout the one which onli make them sad, angry n all the negative feelings...but at last they choose the 1st one the one tat is far from them but not the one that they can get within a step. mebe tat's wad the life's for...i'm also seeking for my way to get out from the box that i set to myself..........................................
Friday, June 17, 2005
Day report 0_0v
today is a bz day for me...as wad i haf mentioned in the previous post...i went to community clinic mantin this morning...woke up super early at 630 and drove a 45 mins journey to mantin...Pekan Mantin...haha! a small town in n sembilan. things shud be perfect if i sleep earlier the night before but not 3am..anyway, it's not too bad though. 8 of us in 2 cars....i'm one of the driver, reach the clinic at 8...which is earlier than wad we expected because we din get lost =S so have a good breakfast before we start our duty to observe. to cut the story short, the whole trip there was nice...and fun too...learn a lot of stuff! see how they run the clinic...the lab..the ECG thingy. there are so many patients until the doctors have no time at all the entertain us. wad else? erm..how the patients trying to fake tat they have diarrhoe to get the MC...how we get shocked by a pharmacist from kelantan who can speak chinese...how my gp mates left their bags in the phamacy and get locked inside and etc etc. we stayed there until 1130 and come back after eating at nilai =P the whole visit was tiring..after tat there r 3 lectures waiting for me. luckily i still can concentrate during the lectures. thank God !! then come back at 7(sorry ppl for rushing back straight after lectures =P)...straight away sleep n dinner at 10...crazee timetable la..
planned to study tonite..but dun haf the mood to do so..but luckily did sth to do with studies....so not feeling tat bad. hope can spend more time to study la...bye!
planned to study tonite..but dun haf the mood to do so..but luckily did sth to do with studies....so not feeling tat bad. hope can spend more time to study la...bye!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
wadever u like it to be (tired with giving title anymore^-^
does one plus one definately become two? or it can be something else? mathematically it cant but in real life the answer is actually yes. a person plus another person does not become two person onli...there's something more happen in btw the people. become 3 ppl? haha...of cos not in that way. there are chemical reactions goin on and things become more complicated than just 2 ppl. besides, there are oso some other equations and formula that can happen. well, can two person with the same personalities and thinking be close with each other? yes because they think the same way and understand each other more than the others do. whenever one of them did something that other ppl might not understand but the other 1 sure understand why did he/she do that. the answer can be no too...they have the same shortness. how 2 stubborn ppl get along with each other? kinda hard but it's still possible if one of them is willing to change become of the other 1. if it's tat hard...mebe it will be the best if them keep some distance with each other...a safety distance..they can be close but not too close and keep everything under control. =P
if u r doin something that u r not comfortable with it but u know it's the best thing for urself and also the others....wad will u choose to do? forget bout it and go for the more comfortable way or just keep doin it until u get used to it and forget bout the pain of doin it? i will chose the 2nd way. just like study...no1 likes studying and understand how hard is it to study but ppl will still study cos they know they will become successful one day in the future if they be determined and keep moving. once u know how sweet the fruit will be..u wont care how hard is it to grow a tree. same thing here, no matter in wad matter...it applies! to get rid of the bad attitude is also the same. so dun ever give up becos of small failure.
my life here is not too bad lately but still struggling with the new timetable ^^" but it's still cool to have lectures in the afternoon...at least i dun haf to wake up early everyday to attend them. it;s the 2nd week of the cardiovascular system. life has been bz with studying as normal, a lot of notes i haven read yet...hope can finish them asap. it's 234am now...and i have to wake up at 630 later to go mantin, n sembilan for community clinic visit. i guess it will be fun having car pool with my gp of ppl. hrmm...pray for the safe journey! Nitez...ZzzzzZZzzz
if u r doin something that u r not comfortable with it but u know it's the best thing for urself and also the others....wad will u choose to do? forget bout it and go for the more comfortable way or just keep doin it until u get used to it and forget bout the pain of doin it? i will chose the 2nd way. just like study...no1 likes studying and understand how hard is it to study but ppl will still study cos they know they will become successful one day in the future if they be determined and keep moving. once u know how sweet the fruit will be..u wont care how hard is it to grow a tree. same thing here, no matter in wad matter...it applies! to get rid of the bad attitude is also the same. so dun ever give up becos of small failure.
my life here is not too bad lately but still struggling with the new timetable ^^" but it's still cool to have lectures in the afternoon...at least i dun haf to wake up early everyday to attend them. it;s the 2nd week of the cardiovascular system. life has been bz with studying as normal, a lot of notes i haven read yet...hope can finish them asap. it's 234am now...and i have to wake up at 630 later to go mantin, n sembilan for community clinic visit. i guess it will be fun having car pool with my gp of ppl. hrmm...pray for the safe journey! Nitez...ZzzzzZZzzz
Sunday, June 12, 2005
live a happy life
was having moody days for last couple of days. failed to control my emotion once again. suddenly all the bad things come into my mind, they just resurface from the deep of my mind. i have been trying to hide all of them permanently but it doesnt work. anyway, they fully occupied my mind until i cant even haf a single thing to make me feel happy and i was trapped in it. cant get myself out from it.
anyway, my 1st question for myself is why am i choosing to put myself in this kind of situation when i have another choice which is living a happy life? yea... it's uncontrollable but i think it's preventable! haha...why did i say so? becos all of these happen becos i take things too seriously, care bout sth tat i shudnt be caring tat much, have high expectation on sth. how to prevent it? change the way of thinking. take things easily. these are the things i'm learning right now. shud let things happen in the way it shud be, if u wanted sth so much n it doesnt work, bad feelings will appear out of sudden. God knows wad is the best for everyone and will get ready the right path for everyone to walk on it. so why dun just follow the pathway that is ready and accept wadever is given. and for those that are not suppose to be urs, no matter how hard u try to get it...it's still not urs so need to learn to give those things up. be satisfied with wadever u r having now..cos it's so much better than the others.
it's kinda impossible to make everyone happy with the decisions u made or the things u have done, but as long as u know that they are right, just move on. if they are really unhappy wif that then let it be. u cant change ppl's thinking.
for me, there's always sth in this world which are not definately right and wrong. it's all depends on which angle u look at the thing. the most famous problem is the triangle love thingy. a gal leaving a guy becos of another guy....is the gal doin sth that is wrong? not really, cos mebe becos she really find her true love...and she's goin for it. but izzit right? i cant agree with this totally oso. and ppl will usually address this kind of gal with a word start wif B. why dun we make it this way, a guy leaving a gal becos of another girl...i think for most of the guys...this is not a prob and nothing wrong wif tat. then why shud the gal be punished tat way when the guy is free from anything. wad i wan to say is...u cant just judge things from ur point of view not onli for this prob but every single thing.
oops...i'm out from the topic!! anyway, i'm just gonna to take things easily le...although sometimes it's hard..and mebe shudnt show wadever i feel to everyone. there's sth shud be kept for myself onli. everyone has own secret. XD
anyway, my 1st question for myself is why am i choosing to put myself in this kind of situation when i have another choice which is living a happy life? yea... it's uncontrollable but i think it's preventable! haha...why did i say so? becos all of these happen becos i take things too seriously, care bout sth tat i shudnt be caring tat much, have high expectation on sth. how to prevent it? change the way of thinking. take things easily. these are the things i'm learning right now. shud let things happen in the way it shud be, if u wanted sth so much n it doesnt work, bad feelings will appear out of sudden. God knows wad is the best for everyone and will get ready the right path for everyone to walk on it. so why dun just follow the pathway that is ready and accept wadever is given. and for those that are not suppose to be urs, no matter how hard u try to get it...it's still not urs so need to learn to give those things up. be satisfied with wadever u r having now..cos it's so much better than the others.
it's kinda impossible to make everyone happy with the decisions u made or the things u have done, but as long as u know that they are right, just move on. if they are really unhappy wif that then let it be. u cant change ppl's thinking.
for me, there's always sth in this world which are not definately right and wrong. it's all depends on which angle u look at the thing. the most famous problem is the triangle love thingy. a gal leaving a guy becos of another guy....is the gal doin sth that is wrong? not really, cos mebe becos she really find her true love...and she's goin for it. but izzit right? i cant agree with this totally oso. and ppl will usually address this kind of gal with a word start wif B. why dun we make it this way, a guy leaving a gal becos of another girl...i think for most of the guys...this is not a prob and nothing wrong wif tat. then why shud the gal be punished tat way when the guy is free from anything. wad i wan to say is...u cant just judge things from ur point of view not onli for this prob but every single thing.
oops...i'm out from the topic!! anyway, i'm just gonna to take things easily le...although sometimes it's hard..and mebe shudnt show wadever i feel to everyone. there's sth shud be kept for myself onli. everyone has own secret. XD
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
contribution is gold
it feel so much better to contribute compare to receive things with the two hands open by doin nothing. even if it's a small little matter, but as long as u know u did sth bout it and see the result..the feeling u'll have is soooo great. tat's why ppl say..to give is better than to receive. dun always hope for sth back when u give. give with open heart, give all u haf when ppl need it. :)
finally i haf finished the foundation courses..and go into system course here. well, i haven really adapted myself in this new timetable. having lectures at 4 in the evening make me feel like i'm wasting all my time before lectures...dun really feel like doin anything before tat. hope i can suit myself better when the time comes and study harder..hehe!
if i speak in the tongues of men and of all angels, but have not love, i'm onli a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if i have a faith that can move mountains, but have no love, i'm nothing. if i give all i possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, i gain nothing.
~1 Corinthians 13:1-4~
finally i haf finished the foundation courses..and go into system course here. well, i haven really adapted myself in this new timetable. having lectures at 4 in the evening make me feel like i'm wasting all my time before lectures...dun really feel like doin anything before tat. hope i can suit myself better when the time comes and study harder..hehe!
if i speak in the tongues of men and of all angels, but have not love, i'm onli a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if i have a faith that can move mountains, but have no love, i'm nothing. if i give all i possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, i gain nothing.
~1 Corinthians 13:1-4~
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
hope u will read this
is it becos of me or i'm just being sensitive...why it seems like u always rejected my invitation. u say no to almost every single things i suggested. sometimes it's disappointing, sometimes it's saddening but most of the time..ya, understanding is needed. not to say tat i'm very understanding but i rather choose to believe and live the life happily but it's really hard to overcome the negative feeling in my heart.
a lot of things i cant get the answer from you. but i wont ask more bcos i dun like to force ppl to tell sth tat he or she doesnt wan to share wif me. but without explaination, things might just get worse...more misunderstanding coming out and relationship get bad. i hope to know more..but things always dun follow the way u wan it to be. ya...everyone got one's very own privacy la..there's always reason why they choose to keep things to themselves. u ask me to spilt things out to you but i just cant get u to do the same thing to me XD when i see u dun feel like saying..i'll just stop!
there's this quite a big thing u told me before which is exactly the opposite of wad u r doin now. so when i tot of tat..i'll feel like being fooled but now i think i will just get it over.no point questioning or mentioning bout it anymore.if u think tat's the best for u...i cant say anything and i dun haf to say anything to affect ur mind or make u feel bad and i will always be happy for u. i haf no idea whether u still remember or not. but no matter wad u do..i'll always stand beside u and support u! i might doubt bout things u said before..but at this point of time..i can tell u tat i believe...sincerely. i hope u will forgive me with the little doubt n little sadness i will try my best to get over it.
a lot of things i cant get the answer from you. but i wont ask more bcos i dun like to force ppl to tell sth tat he or she doesnt wan to share wif me. but without explaination, things might just get worse...more misunderstanding coming out and relationship get bad. i hope to know more..but things always dun follow the way u wan it to be. ya...everyone got one's very own privacy la..there's always reason why they choose to keep things to themselves. u ask me to spilt things out to you but i just cant get u to do the same thing to me XD when i see u dun feel like saying..i'll just stop!
there's this quite a big thing u told me before which is exactly the opposite of wad u r doin now. so when i tot of tat..i'll feel like being fooled but now i think i will just get it over.no point questioning or mentioning bout it anymore.if u think tat's the best for u...i cant say anything and i dun haf to say anything to affect ur mind or make u feel bad and i will always be happy for u. i haf no idea whether u still remember or not. but no matter wad u do..i'll always stand beside u and support u! i might doubt bout things u said before..but at this point of time..i can tell u tat i believe...sincerely. i hope u will forgive me with the little doubt n little sadness i will try my best to get over it.
Friday, June 03, 2005
June! half a year has gone
yea...it's jun oledi...time flies! which mean i onli blog for once in may...the one and only one! dunno why i become so lazy in blogging. it's not tat i haf no time...i haf so much time compare wif the others...n i spend most of my time in front of my com but no bloggin! weird~
anyway...my exam is over...sum 2! yeah! finally..all the hard work..happy? hah..i'm happy all the time wad...wad a question! i mean do i feel 'super' happy compare wif other days..i shall say no lo! not to say too happy...just kind of relief..dun haf to memorise all the funny names anymore for temporary! hehe...but i dun think i need to be too happy bout tat...cos wad's the reason? be happy cos i haf to spend more time alone as usual..happy tat my life is back to usual n stuff like tat? haha...i shall think bout tat.
anyway...here's a question before i go! is there such person tat be together wif u to show tat how good he or she is? i haf no idea right now...but i will try to find out whether there is any around me :P
anyway...my exam is over...sum 2! yeah! finally..all the hard work..happy? hah..i'm happy all the time wad...wad a question! i mean do i feel 'super' happy compare wif other days..i shall say no lo! not to say too happy...just kind of relief..dun haf to memorise all the funny names anymore for temporary! hehe...but i dun think i need to be too happy bout tat...cos wad's the reason? be happy cos i haf to spend more time alone as usual..happy tat my life is back to usual n stuff like tat? haha...i shall think bout tat.
anyway...here's a question before i go! is there such person tat be together wif u to show tat how good he or she is? i haf no idea right now...but i will try to find out whether there is any around me :P
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