Hillary, Todd, and some little girls

It became instantly lonely when Megan moved to Arizona.
I remember when Janna moved after a winter semester. We watched It's a Wonderful Life and I hugged her goodbye and cried while Todd drove us home.
Megan has been a presence in my life, consistently nearby for ten years. I feel like I always take my closest friends for granted. When I moved from Bremerton I went to visit Jill and McKinsie nearly every month. Now that we all have jobs and school and are barely scraping by I feel like I can only count on seeing my best friends once a year.
Megan, I miss you. When all I want to do is cancel going to the gym, eat ice cream, paint my finger nails and watch the O.C. I can't call you anymore. You've only been gone a few days and you don't know how many times I have taken my phone from my purse to text you to see if we could do something.
Todd is so busy with work and classes and I had never realized until you were gone. He is gone most of the time too. I sit in my house feeling awkward and not knowing what to do. I have plenty of homework and housework to keep me busy, but that is not fun, nor a top priority. I've already painted my nails, embroidered several onesies, vacuumed, grocery shopped.
I went to call my mom because I like to talk to her when I'm sad, but she is in Australia for weeks.
I don't make plans with the people who do live here because I feel like I should be doing homework...blah blah blah complainy life. end.

So, my boyfriend/husband/loveofmylife Todd Benjamin Carman is one of fourteen children. His parents are in their 60s and are very soft spoken, but kind and loving and fun-loving people. Each Carman child is so different from the rest while having many things in common. I've learned that Todd is probably the craziest/goofiest of the bunch. They are all funny, smart, so welcoming, open and easy to talk to.
We're in Colorado for the week for Todd's older sister, Cristi's, wedding. It's an entire week where nearly all of the siblings have come and we've rented cabins together. Todd and I are sharing with Andy and Brittany and their three beautiful little girls, Debbi, Danielle, and Evan. The other siblings and parents are nearby. We've played games, talked, had a picnic, a hike, a bridal shower, swimming in mountain springs and creeks in the hot sun. I just have fallen more in love with the Carmans. I just adore and admire them. At the shower today I felt so at ease with all of the Carman girls and their in-laws. I don't worry about what they think of me or about what I'm going to say to make conversation. They're just wonderful people who make me feel loved and welcome.
I am so in love with my nieces and nephews. My heart melts when they call me "Auntie Hillary" (or "Auntie Hallowy"). Each and every Carman with children is such a wonderful parent; patient, interested, and loving.
The first time I met Todd's parents, in 2006 when we first began dating, I felt incredibly uncomfortable and felt they didn't like me because they didn't really talk to me. Tonight they both came and sat by me and we talked for at least an hour. I admire them for they way they have raised fourteen incredible children who love their family and care so much for one another. I feel a part of the family. I love to spend time with them and talk to them and get to know them better. I'm proud to be a Carman. I'm happy to have a giant family and feel so much love. I can't wait for my children to feel so much love from so many incredible aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents.