Sunday, October 27, 2013

Almost Creeper Day....

I do love my Halloween.
I love the color - October - it needs to be a Crayola
boxful of crayons just for Fall.
Today the leaves were so bright I had to almost wear sunglasses.  The wind picked up and the old familiar "Come Little Leaves" song came to my mind and took me back over the many years of memories.  I am a bit confused at times... going to get Halloween candy and finding a small area right next to the Christmas decorations.  Every night I plug in my little purple lights and my plastic pumpkins and shut the lights off.  I absolutely love the glow of the lights together.  I have at least 4 containers of apple juice for cider, and my mugs are all ready to fill with it's cinnamon flavor.  I love caramel apples, and how stick your fingers get after you eat one.  I remember being a lot of different things for Halloween.  My parents couldn't really afford costumes so it was anything goes.  It was fun and creative and exciting.  One year I actually was running to a door to trick or treat and didn't know that they had put up a barbed wire fence to keep someone from falling into the ditch right behind the fence.... it was not a pretty sight when they found me.  I think that the only thing that saved me was the plastic Little Red Riding Hood mask I had on.  The guy at the door ran out and felt awful and gave me extra candy.  (today - would have been a law suit) (but I liked the extra candy)  I always feel bad for Thanksgiving..... not so many decorations, not as creepy and mysterious..... just a turkey.  I think Thanksgiving was jipped on décor things.  Well - time to check the temp on the cider.  I miss the years of being a kid, of watching my kids, and missing seeing my 2 WA grand kids.  But I think I get to see a couple of spooks from the family line on Thursday night.  Be safe out there kiddos, make good memories, write about them, paste a picture or two in a book.  Keep the monsters under the bed at hand, and no matter what...
don't open the closet door.
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Friday, October 18, 2013

And the 'D's have it...

 
Yah, so.... kinDa obsesseD with the letter D today.
It's gotta be a FriDay for me to be this crazy.
 
D today represented...
 
All of the 'Do not's" that were texted to me from my work, to the general staff in general.  Even though it has absolutely nothing to do with me - after a long long long week of Doing things right,
I still get the don't do this and don't do that.  How about - amazing work this week - and thanks for all of the sacrifices you've made to make sure it was all done right.... Directors... whaddevah..
 
Deployment - 4th for Mike - really really don't like this D word.  I stand in the mirror and put on my brave face for my beautiful daughter who I know is standing in front of the mirror icing her swollen cry eyes, and what she doesn't know is that I have ice of my own because I can't stop crying either.
 
D represents Dur dur dur... yesterday while cycling - my monitor came off my bike somewhere on the road... when I looked down to calculate my ride, I may have said the "d" word really loud.  I rode back the same way I came and searched the 25 miles of stupid leaves at the side of the road.  darnit.
 
D is a vision in "didn't you have the whole entire day off dear husband and I'm loading the dishwasher (oh look another d word!) after my 9 hour shift?"  Detergent is also a d word.
 
D is a GOOD word because sometimes I call my beautiful Darling grandson Drew.  That's actually the sweetest D word I know.  I also have a fave M, E, and J and T (for tiebreaker) word - but that's for another letter day.
 
D reminds me of Dad - 2 d's in that word.  I have this stupid belief that I still want him to show up at the end of the bed, and tell me that everything will be ok.  But I know somehow in my silly mind that I think he's disappointed in me and will never come say gooD bye.
 
D... really was found in my discouragement this week with myself, my life, my time, my desires to somehow live a different life than I do.  To follow some Dreams.  Is there a D in Vacation?  Haven't haD one of those for many years.  Decided that I'm Destin to be Driving to work every single Day anD passing by those stupid cars loaded with people going to Disneyland and making me saD. 
 
D reminds me of Dementia, or Damentia, and Days gone by of memories lost and Desires to recreate history to preserve it.  Dawning Days of Disbelief. 
 
Oh and Dandilions..... and ocD... because out of no where I thought of those.  I didn't know where they fit in but there they were.  Shiney keys...
 
I have learned something in life thought about D.... it also is the first letter in Duck, and I know that the old saying "like water off a ducks back" is probably just what the Doctor ordered for me.
 
Ranting about the letter D, refreshing to Dump it off in a blog and call it a Day.
(yes.. I did take my Vitamin D today)
 


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Saturday, October 12, 2013

(thoughts about speaking in church about our mission)(and other painful things)(but not as many as speaking in church about our mission)

Talking in church.
Kind of makes me nervous for this to happen.
Reporting on our Mission tomorrow,
 as it has come to a close for us.
Difficult to leave.
Difficult to come home.
I could spend hours talking about it but
that would make everyone fall asleep.
I do have some funnies to share though.
Wrestling a skunk before church.
Testimony bearing in a beer tee shirt.
Meeting all the multiple personalities... at one time.
2.5 years of yet another day on I-15.
and teeth.   I miss teeth. (people with them)
 
I have some good things too though.
Diamonds found in the rough
Friends to last a lifetime
Humility - in abundance
and of course
Gods hand in all things.
(he's everywhere you know)
 
I would like to be able to say
that being the person called
to hand out hymn books at sacrament meeting,
sounds like the perfect job.
(hope the big guy hears my plea)
 
Can't wait to come home though,
driving 2.5 minutes to get to church,
vs.... an hour.
Almost as good as bacon.
 
My talk is written, it's like this....
Um... talk about the mission.
End.
It's going to be short and sweet.
I told the Bishop that he needed to
have Del talk first... then cut me loose.
I think he's thinking twice about not
signing those extension papers now.
Hope your Sunday tomorrow it a sweet one.
Hope there's a cup holder for my coke
on the pulpit.
We're home.

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Monday, October 7, 2013

I love this picture of mom - free and beautiful.
She's in a rest home now - and I'm still not in touch with that choice.
My personal battle.
 
This week I went to see her and take care of the house and yard.  It was conference weekend and I wanted to just snuggle up with her and watch it.  I entered the area she's in and headed to her room.  I passed the big TV room and just by chance glanced in and there she was all alone glued to Conference.  In a place I call hell - this was her heaven.  It took her a minute to be aware that I was even standing there looking at her beautiful face - she was so into the words she was hearing.  This is a big room - and she was the only one with the desire to be in there.  Must say something about her abilities I say.  We laughed, had lunch, looked at blogs and pictures, walked around, and then I settled her back into a giant chair with a snugly blanket and set her up for the next session as I had to get over to the house.  How proud I am of my mother.  How angry I am inside. She has so much life left to live and it's cut off short.  I cannot fix what is happening to my mom - but I always feel that she deserved better than what she got in her kids.  Today I talk with them about just getting a little chair and a TV in her room, I can't seem to explain enough that she needs some familiar things around her.  Time just keeps ticking.
Mom just keeps slipping.
My heart just keeps breaking.
 
But how blessed I am to have a mother that knows her Savior.
He has not left her - she has not left him.
How faithful, how beautiful, how perfect.
Daddy must be so proud that she's his forever.
Her mind may be slipping,
but her heart never will.
 
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