Well, it’s time I start up with blogging again. Or at least try to. DH and I have embarked upon a new journey, and I decided it might help if I were better able to process some of the feelings and thoughts running through me. So, this is going to be that spot.
I was searching my brain for a title for this post, or this blog, but nothing came to mind. The blog title, “Home Grown Love” speaks of my dreams and inner heart’s desires. But in all honesty, at the present moment I feel slightly numb to those sentiments. I think that is what time elapsed and hopes dashed does to a person.
DH and I have been trying for a baby for quite some time now. In fact, it's been over 4 years since we officially "stopped using protection" and took on the attitude of, "if it happens, it happens." Unfortunately, it has not happened, and here we are four years later wondering what went wrong. Before I get to the present day, let me back up and tell you where we've been so far.
Four years ago (Sept. 2006) I decided to go off birth control (which I had only been on for 10 months) simply because I didn't like the side effects. We tried using alternative measures for a while, but we didn't like that either. So, we decided that we'd be "careful" around that time of month, but not really worry either way what happened. That was fine and dandy. We didn't really officially start "trying" at any point in time, but some months we would "try" harder than others, without much disappointment at the results. Probably towards the end of 2007, I started paying much more attention to things and the "trying" became more fervent. Well, in 2008 no baby had appeared and I went to my doctor. I told her the story and wanted to check to make sure things were okay. Her response was that there was no need for concern yet, and that couples need to be officially trying for over a year before they can embark on any fertility treatments. Fine.
Later that year we relocated to a new city and I found a new doctor, who was keen to have me tested to make sure things were okay (he had just started his practice and was excited to do any kind of testing that I asked for). I don't fully remember it all, but I think I had to do a series of blood tests around different times of my cycle. The test results all came back just fine, which was a relief. So, the next step was to have DH tested. Unfortunately for him, his test was slightly more "sensitive", and he had the task of taking 3 separate samples at different times over a few months. Fun. This, understandably, took a long time and a lot of pressure. And the results were not that helpful. They were not bad results, but there were some discrepancies and some hard to read results. Still, the doctors said that he was probably okay. During this time I also saw a naturopathic doctor and started to get my body ready to support a pregnancy if it came.
Come 2010, and we moved again. The last year had been quite busy and stressful with me completing my master's degree, working full-time, DH pastoring, us getting a puppy, and then moving to the island. They say stress is a big factor in fertility so it was a little bit easier to understand why it had not yet happened. But by this time we were seriously "trying." Since DH's count was a bit low, we were spacing it out, as they recommend. And I never knew exactly when I was ovulating, but I was sure that I was ovulating and since my cycle is quite consistent this was not a worry of ours. And still, nothing happened. So, I started seeing a naturopathic doctor here, and DH did too, and we continued on with the natural remedies that should make our bodies prime to conceive. I did acupuncture. I took homeopathic remedies, such as vitex. I boosted up my supplements and even took a prenatal multivitamin. DH took zinc and protein smoothies and worked to lose weight. And still nothing. So I saw my doctor here, and she referred me to the Women's Clinic here, specializing in fertility as well as prenatal and women's issues. My doctor there was great. He immediately ordered an HSG (write more about that next time) to see if my uterus had any blockages, which it didn't. He also ordered another sperm test for DH to see if his results are consistent. That is something he has not found time to do as of yet. But that is the last thing before we officially begin fertility treatments.
We'll start with a fertility drug, such as clomid (I'll write about these treatments later). If his sperm have any issues, we'll go for an IUI (or maybe a series of these). This is when they wash the sperm, and then insert it right into the uterus for more chances of conceiving. If this doesn't work, the next step is the dreaded...IVF (costing a couple thousand dollars at least).
So, there you have it. And here we sit, officially declared "infertile" by the medical world, while I watch more and more people glide through their 9 months of pregnancy and then onto their second child a few years later... It's later now and I don't have it in me to write of the emotional drain of this all, but that will come later I'm sure. Here begins the chronicles of this family's journey to have a child join along.
