after completing the disgusting finance project,
i start to feel depressed again.

i guess it only sets in when i had nothing much to do.
(not so true also. it happened even when i'm in a club)

-____-"
i hate this.

just let me sleep.
or sth.

& my throat hurts like hell out of a sudden.
i wonder why.

i was told to reflect on my actions...
for the night.

idk. seriously.
am i demanding more that i did previously.

i keep feeling depressed these days.
is it becos of all the sh*t load of work (that i NEVER seem to finish)
or my stp hormones playing tricks on me again.

*sigh*
reflect.reflect.

seriously.
i can't think of anything at all.
i had somehow... lost that ability to.
i guess.

can't wait for this sem to end.

***

on a brighter note, let's talk abt my dar*'s bday celebration.

hmm...
i think my plans somehow kinda failed actually.

*hortpark was a bad idea. it was so small to the point there's nth to see & walk at all. (yeah i took my camera along & i took ZERO photos of even the grass there) *botanic gardens is so much prettier. & bigger.

dinner was @ *clementi's sakura. maybe the reviews online were right. somehow their food isn't that nice anymore. -shrugs-

& yest night we went to *double-o. I only had a *peach breezer. i shld had drank much more becos i was so SIAN-ed & suddenly i just stood there (not even swaying to the music) for a couple of songs. & yes the company of my kpo bf* didn't help either becos he was constantly amusing himself* with things unrelated to me.

[there you go. i'm super depressed horr.]

the only thing i'm happy abt (okay 2 things) is that i'd got to try *bakerzin's desserts. *yummy yummy*. we tried *profiterioles, *coupled cheesecake, *caramel & *raspberry pinna cotta.

&&&& the 2nd thing was *baking trip @ *ah-yu's house. THANK'S A MIL girl. =)) & to her maid also... cos i'd made a super BIG mess w/o helping to clean up becos i had to rush back to school. =S my productions... presentable & edible @ least. =)) praises from everyone. [my family, his* family. whee!]

photos... (finally some after donkey years)



our* day out on 14th Oct 2008.
*special caramel popcorn that's oh-so-sweet. (i still prefer the normal 1. & that dumby* failed to surprise me wif the his* roses again. =S)



*profiterioles. (vanillia ice-cream in btw some puffs?)



*coupled cheesecake, *caramel & *raspberry pinna cotta.



my *cuppies creations. =))



my *heart-shaped choco cake.
at least my *mom was really happy abt the cake. (even though not v nice to eat lah. =X)

***

PS. & i still havn't reflect on my actions.
PPS. i predict that i'll not sleep tml becos my *finance project's not even half done.

重要嘅事物，可能重会有一日变得冇所谓。

今日便是如此。

长大嘅变化？
定係人为？

我。不。知。道。

[写到有D伤感添~]


PS: Can some1 save me from TEK? =((~

with the exception of TOO many homework/projects to complete,
i'm a happy girl.
=))

just finished planning for the *BIG* day.
heeh heeh heeh~

& sadly, it's time to do work once AGAIN.
=((~

sooo... perhaps i'm more of sad actually.
becos work's never never ending!!!!
!##%#^$*&~^~%

quite no life ah.

home on a friday night.

trying to be some kuai kia & finish up my never-ending work.

=((~

*finance project. omg~~

*sigh*

just when i thought i had reached the nearest point to my explosion,
something ESLE had to make me explode.

fu*k. i really need to say this.
wtf is WRONG WIF MY LIFE?!

been feeling damn low.
i don't want to go school.
i don't want to do my hw.
i don't want to do any constuctive.

all i want is just a break. (sth like sem break maybe)

BUT NO. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

i can't even spend a decent bday wif my boyfriend*.
ya & CAN DO NTH ABT IT.

fu*k obligations.
& why my keyboard ain't responding at all?!

spent the whole day in school. omg.
was trying to finish our measurement...
at least we did SOMETHING la huh.

lol.

the time of the month.
& i still drink cold drinks!! (>.<)
don't care!!! =pPpPpPPPp

during lunch, *huifang told me that she was laughing off her com screen when she saw my *parkhoppers photos wif jon* on fb. i did *blushed* OK!!! but nobody believed me!!! =((~ i also will paiseh de lorss!! haha! =S *val said the tee-shirts were CUTE okays!! hhmmpphhh!!

idk why i blushed also. just feel... a tingling sensation of sweetness bah. =pPpPpp

&&& *JJ 林俊杰／蔡卓妍 - 小酒窝's MTV is soOOoOoooo sweet can!!! i still loveeee *ah-sa lots! lol~

getting abit high due to the lack of sleep.

i totally DON'T feel like doing anything constructive now.
just let me be.

waiting for my dumby* to call me again.

=pPppPpp
*muacksx3! *hxno!

i can't believe...

that i've just spent a WHOLE saturday,
finishing HALF of my hw due.

HALF. freaking hell.
i couldn't even touch on ANYTHING esle.

TMD!!!
!!#*$$&^$*$($*#^#*

& HE* BLUFF ME AGAINNNNNNNNN!!!
HMPHHHHHH!!!!!!!
=((~!!!!!!!!!!

today...

started off pretty badly.

i was late for school.
& moody.

bought milo & a piece of cake for breakfast.
i finishd the milo, but couldn't have the 2nd bite on that cake.
the queasy feeling stayed within.

lecture was fine.
at least there was something to focus on.

balloting was not okay. it's sh*tty. it's horrendous.
i'd made up my mind. *davis or *CPG.
there was 9 chances.
but i was the LAST to be be called.
(out of 30/40 pple?)

they never called, in fact.
becos i knew that last was my matric card.
i wanted to give up, but told not to.
so in the end i chose a company's name that appealed to me.

[which ended up to be some ku-ku neh-neh again]
[[so i'm gonna wait somemore if not, give up totally.]]

i wasn't really that upset actually.
though i really hoped to be the 1st few to be called.
the praying didn't work, i guess.

then it was rushing off to meet *beloved.
couldn't meet up for long, (as usual & always)
but i had to settle for.

i'm glad i did.
poor boy* is still working...
by the time i'm writing this.

there wasn't much appetite.
i was zoning into space most of the time.
bus rides were spent trying to squeeze out some brain juices,
for my *jap test later on.

missed all my projects meeting.
kinda ARUGH!
but i guess it was fine.

*TB25 always end v quickly.
& i had that dreadful bus ride home.
my mind went wandering.
didn't want to look that ugly then.

i want to stay in denial.
i don't want to prepare for wat's to come.
but it's pointless.
for there was nth i could do.

didn't want to go home.
but i did felt better after getting home.

i hate that i was weak.
but a true friend's phone call did the magic.
there was other factors as well.
but i really appreciated it, *m.

this entry's style is...
weird.

deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.
i hate them.

but i HAVE to meet all of them.
TMD!

whine whine whine.
that's all i like to do.

so much for:

YOU control yr own life.

*sigh*

in the mist of uber busy schedule...
there could be such...

i must be strong.
WE must be strong.

i want to be little again. =((

reserved: for *steffie.