To watch a friend die....... A year ago this month one of my dear friends, Amy Oliver, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Amy and I have spent countless hours together over the past 7 years, and built amazing memories. My life is better because I had a dear close friend named Amy Oliver. She always inspired me to be better, to try a little harder and her wit and humor and amazing personality made me feel alive. She was always the one who never held a friendship over e-mail, she was the one who would call and make sure we did brunch or lunch, went to the park, or pool or anything with the kids. She always made sure we scheduled time together on our calendar so we would actually get together.

Amy faced her cancer like a soldier going into battle with amazing force and faith. After a year of chemo, surgery, and radiation it seemed that the cancer had been beat. Five days before Christmas we found that the cancer was back, this time in her liver and pancreas. Mortality stared its ugly head in our face. Amy was the one who gathered her closest 7 friends together in December and we spent the evening laughing, crying, and to praying together. After all that, Amy still set the example of love and peace, not feeling angry, but thankful God is there.

On Sunday Ken and I went to visit Amy for the last time. It was hard. We shared some tender moments, reminded each other that we loved each other and would meet again in the realms of the eternities.

In true Amy form, as she always was able to be direct, said "I don't want anyone wearing black to my funeral, and I don't want any "pink" balloons. I'm done with pink!" She wanted one of those finish lines over her casket with a sign that said "I finished!"

Amy died Monday morning surrounded by her family.

I'm not going to focus on the fact that Amy died, but the fact that Amy LIVED, and because she lived this world is a better place. Thank you Amy for your friendship, I'm going to miss you.

AMY LYNN ELLIS OLIVER, 39, died Monday, March 09, 2009. Services will be held at 2:00 p.m. Wednesday, March 11, 2009, at the Metropolitan Baptist Church in Houston, Texas. Amy made her debut on October 30, 1969, in Perryton, Texas, and grew up in the Texas Panhandle until her move to Houston in 1985. Amy graduated from Memorial High School in 1988 and went on to become a Texas Longhorn, graduating from the University of Texas at Austin in 1993. In 1996, Amy married the love of her life, Joel Oliver, and together they made their first home in Canyon, Texas. While in Canyon, Amy was a special education teacher at Canyon High School. Amy was never a cheerleader, but her vivacious spirit somehow qualified her to be head cheerleading coach, a position she held formally while teaching in Canyon, and informally for her friends and family throughout the rest of her life. In 1999, Amy's first son, Wynn, was born and with him came a promotion to her most important position, that of full-time Mommy. Wynn was soon joined by his brother Jax in 2001 and Bennett in 2003. Amy devoted her life to raising her three boys, serving as a room mother and cub scout den mother, making endless visits to the park, kid's museums, and to play dates with her boy's many friends. It is an understatement to say that Amy had a very strong will. When she set her mind to something, she would accomplish it. In October 2007, together, Amy and Joel finished the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, D.C. with friends and family manning checkpoints throughout D.C. This started her love of running. She went on to race in the Army Ten Miler with her brother, and they crossed the finish line at the same time, neither wanted to finish before the other. All those who knew Amy, knew they wanted to know her. Her dear friend wrote, "It was easy to be around you because you always inspire me to be a better person. I would go home feeling just a little bit better and with determination to work harder." Amy wants the world to know that she "got it." Amy got that her mission on this Earth was to build her family. She got that she was to use her strong will and desire to push her husband to succeed and to find his purpose in life. Amy got the fact that Joel was a stabilizing force in her life; he was her rock and that together they made each other better. Amy got that she was made to be a Mommy to her three beautiful boys and to raise her family to be strong, to love each other, and to love the Lord. Amy was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, and a true friend. Amy got it. In lieu of flowers, the family has asked that an offering be made in Amy's memory to the Metropolitan Baptist Church, 13000 Jones Road, Houston, Texas 77070.

Amy at Daria's baptism

Many of you recently filled out the "25 Things about Myself" questionnaire. I rarely fill those things out but had so much fun reading my friends answers that I figured I'd try my hand at it. Just let me say, coming up with 25 things about yourself, even if you are a "talker", is still pretty hard. But if you haven't tried it, I encourage you to sit down and do it as it will make for good family history stuff for your posterity!

Many of you have already read this on my Facebook account, so disregard if you've already read it. I'm blogging it here because not all my friends or family have Facebook.

1. I don’t enjoy shopping. If some friends want to go then I will go along but other than that it is my least favorite thing to do. It falls somewhere between wanting to be frugal and struggling with wanting every thing I see. So I just avoid it.

2. Something that has always come easy to me is the ability to talk to just about anyone (what a surprise). I could strike up a conversation with a stranger on the street corner.

3. I am fascinated and honor those people that I know, or those who have come before me who have faced adversity with a lion’s heart and the faith to move mountains. I’m drawn to these types of people.

4. I love history. Anything to do with history. I love the names, the places and the stories. I can’t seem to get enough of it. I’m drawn towards historical markers, historical locations, museums, history books, biographies, political or military/world magazines and books. I’m fascinated by the diverse intricacy of people with their myriad of experiences and how their lives affect ours today. I think to myself “thank you, your life made a difference to me”.

5. I think the most handsome best dressed men are men in military dress uniform or battle dress uniform. Every time the Star Spangled Banner is sung, it makes me cry.

6. I love technology. My Christmas lists are always loaded with gadgets: cameras, computers, external drives, software. Embarrassingly I admit that when I was in 5th grade I said “why would we use a computer to do something we can do ourselves?” Famous last words. I can’t live without my computer, my software, my gadgets. Love them!

7. I love photography. I love cameras and I love lenses, lots of lenses (that I dream of owning) and hope to one day maybe use my hobby to earn some bucks. The artist in me sees everything in composition and color and I just can’t help but want to take a picture of it, especially action shots. I could never take too many pictures. Pictures tell a story, and stories create history.

8. There is something about every friend that I have that I would like to be more like. The women friends in my life are amazing and noble, regardless of race, religion or faith. Each seems to possess some Christ like quality that inspires me to want to be a better person.

9. I don’t like being stagnant, and always feel compelled to be learning, growing, progressing, and changing for the better. If there is a problem I’d rather face it and learn from it than to be held back from it.

10. I’m not a very funny person. I wish I were. I find other people funny and admire other’s ability to be quick witted and humorous. But I just haven’t figured out how to do that. Sometimes I try to be funny and my husband and kids look at me like I came from some other planet. It often takes me a while to get some jokes, so you will find me laughing about an hour after someone tells a joke because “I finally got it”.

11. If you know me you know I’m a pretty opinionated person. I think people mistake me for being highly judgmental because I’m opinionated, but I’m not. My opinions are just that, my opinions. I find it easy to appreciate other’s opinions & choices. I am however working on the delivery, and am learning that my opinions are best received when asked for. I’m still learning.

12. I don’t mind getting older. Let me clarify that. I don’t like physically getting older, but I love getting older emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I feel like I can see a lot clearer at this age, less peer pressure, more confident in who I am, maybe a little more wise (I wish), less moved by the worlds lies of what and who we should be. I’ve heard a lot of women say that the best years are in their 40’s and 50’s and I think they are right because even though I’m not that age yet (ok, if the truth be told I'm almost 40, and had I had kids right out of high school could technically have a 20 year old child!), it feels pretty good to be me.

13. I love music. When I was a teenager I spent a lot of time listening to music that dulled the senses and darkened the soul (yes, I listened to heavy heavy thrash metal) but that was just my way of blocking out teenage pain. (yes, Leah and Chris, my hair was long, bleach blond and looked like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket, but hey, the price to pay to be a rocker! LOL) As an adult I don’t appreciate that music anymore but love music any music in general. I took piano lessons as an adult because I always wished I could play. It’s been a blast and although I can’t seem to play well in front of people I can hold my own when I play in the privacy of my own home.

14. I save e-mails. I’m not talking about funny or serious forwards, but e-mail letters from friends and family. I think that letter writing is a dying art, and I think that’s a shame. The genealogist in me can’t part with certain e-mails which have taken the place of hand written communication. I’m glad I saved my step-father’s. Now that he is dead, it is comforting to read his words now and then.

15. I love it when friends or family call. Again, in such a busy world I don’t mind using e-mail, texting, blogs, and facebook but there’s nothing more enjoyable than a friendly voice on the phone. It makes me feel good, makes me feel thought of and imprints deeper memories on my mind. My goal this year is to make more phone calls.

16. I’m a rule follower and hate the old adage “rules are meant to be broken”. I love living in a country that has rules that help us progress and live freely (contrary to popular belief that rules confine and control. Hardly! Look at our great nation, it was based off of rules that have made us one of the greatest nations ever). I take comfort in knowing that someone else has unfortunately tested them out for us already. Rules keep us safe and give us order. Could you imagine playing basketball without any rules? Or raising a child without any boundaries?

17. By far one of the greatest things in my life has been the opportunity to bare children and have a great husband who loves the Lord and strives to lead and guide our home with me, teaching our children about Christ and His gospel, and teaching them to pray. I never imagined how much being a mother and wife would cause me to grow, stretch beyond my wildest dreams and abilities. It is by far the hardest job in the world, yet more rewarding than anything on this earth.

18. I think that one of the coolest experiences is holding my children when they were babies/toddler age on my chest while they slept, and their head just seems to fit perfectly under my chin as though it was made to fit like a puzzle.

19. I love the mountains more than the ocean. I don’t mind visiting the beach but if I had my druthers I would want to spend time in the mountains. Rocky Mountains or Smoky Mountains it’s all the same to me. Trees, nature, fresh air, wildlife, peace.

20. I can’t stand sarcasm or sarcastic humor. I think it wounds the soul.

21. I’m a blogger and a blog stalker. It’s been one of the funnest ways to re-connect with great friends and get a window into their life.

22. I used to know a lot about cars. I remember as a young girl, my dad explaining to me the difference between a combustion engine and a jet engine (and the splitting of the atom – important stuff for a girl to know) I can change my own oil, tire, and know the difference between my starter causing problems and the corroded connections on my battery causing problems (there is a story behind that). When I was a teenager I believed that I needed a fast loud car. My first ticket was a noise violation in Colorado Springs because my car was too loud. Bought a ’67 Cougar, re-built the carburetor, fixed various parts, and with some help from my brother’s friends replaced the timing chain (which took FOREVER. When we were done we had an extra bolt. Not a good thing!). I even took a job at NAPA auto parts to get a discount on parts.
23. Most of my good friends know that I’m very opinionated regarding over use of video games. Well, while I still think we need to use caution on what types of video games and how often we play them, I will admit you can sometimes find playing the Wii or find me fishing, farming, cooking, or making runes on Runescape. Don’t be mistaken though, I am a “skiller” not a “killer”.

24. I own a rifle and a hand gun. Gifts from my step-dad. We used to target practice together when I was a teenager. I like the smell of gun powder. I also shot some huge Army gun once, wish I could remember the name of it. What I do remember is that it was huge (I had to have help holding it), loud and threw me back from the kick back. Fortunately the guy helping me hold it was bracing me so I wouldn’t fall.

25. I almost never watch TV, not for any big reason, I’m just not to interested. I can go weeks without turning it on and if I do you may find me watching news channels, Discovery, History, or Science Channel. I also find myself totally out of the loop on the movie scene. There are a lot of movies I’d like to see but never seem to get around to doing it. I hate scary or violent movies (unless it’s a military movie, strange I know), I like good strong westerns, military, or period movies, but most of all I like the “feel good movies” like “Remember the Titans” or “Radio”, “Ever After” stuff like that.