Ken and Daria on the Farm
Tribute to the amazing Handy Hubman
I've known people who in their dating years had lists of what they wanted in their future spouse, anything from personal qualities, hobbies, habits, interests, you name it. I admire the foresight of those individuals. I wasn't that specific during those years although I did have some guidelines on what I knew I didn't want, like anything that fell under the umbrella of "jerk". Ultimately I met and married a pretty amazing homegrown Texas farm boy. I had no lists and really no clue as to the extra blessings and benefits that come with a boy raised on a farm. Now as an adult I've got these mental lists of "why I'm glad I married Ken." I hope that Daria will see the qualities her dad has and maybe that will help her later on in life when she enters the dating world.
In marriage it's easy to notice all the differences. In fact, on the surface it would look like Ken and I don't have anything in common. I'm talkative, he's reserved. I like to travel, he could take it or leave it (he enjoys a little more now than early on in our marriage). I like museums, history, historical markers, he's rarely moved by these things and his usual comment is "do you have to look at EVERYthing in the museum?" - uh, yes and I want to read the description as well. I like to read, Ken would rather poke his eyes out. He likes sports, me "Sports? what's that?". He's funny, I'm not. The good news is that we balance each other out and have the most important things in common, marriage, family, spending time together, the gospel, our faith, and how we feel our marriage should be and how we raise our children. All the other things are just appendages, extras, which leads me back to the list of qualities I could have looked for in a husband, and was lucky to get in Ken the Texas Farm Boy. These are the things that matter.
1. Stuff. Ken's not a "stuff" guy, which has made buying birthday or Christmas presents a challenge. Ken's a simple guy, isn't surrounded by "stuff" and would rather spend time together and give a gift than to get one.
Ken made this for me on Mother's Day this year, along with homemade cornbread..my favorite. My favorite flower is a Tulip, hard to find here, and I'm not much for cut flowers, would rather they be planted in the yard. So he made me a fruit bouquet instead.
2. Darn good cook. Ken grew up in what I call the "Betty Crocker" home. His mom is the best cook around. Even when Daria and Dustin are asked where their favorite place to eat is, instead of choosing a restaurant they will ALWAYS choose Grandma H's kitchen. Everyone in that family knows how to cook and cook well. No Rachael Ray needed. Ken is no different, a down-home cooking mastermind of various meats, fish, breads, and deserts. Growing up on a farm provided little opportunity for eating out. They grew the food and they learned to cook the food.
3. Great listener. Ken is quiet and reserved socially and will usually only come out of his shell around people he knows really well. He's not shy, just quiet. In this aspect he is just like his mom. Ken listens to everything around him. He usually knows everything about you, what you do or don't like, what kind of help you need and how to do it. It's just how he grew up. He's always there to help because he has listened to what is needed. Even when I think Ken has lost touch with who I am, I come to find that sometimes he knows me better than me. Part of that is personality and the other part is learning what really mattered out on the farm-people.
4. Support. While we don't share many of the same hobbies/interests, he puts a lot of effort into supporting what I'm interested in. He makes sure I have opportunities to further my goals/interests. Another quality he cultivated growing up. There was little time for self serving. You went to school during the day, you got home and worked on the farm, or helped someone else on their farm.
5. Hard Worker. Ken is a serious work horse. I'm not talking about a "workaholic." If there is a job to be done, Ken is there and will work his tail off until it's finished. His whole family is like this. Whether it's helping someone move, repairing something, spreading mulch in all the neighbors yards, hurricane clean up. You name it, Ken puts in 110% of his time and energy. We all know Ken's sob story of not being able to try out for the football team because he had to work on the farm. While that was a disappointment, I couldn't imagine being married to anyone with less determination to be a hard worker, or the actual ability to work hard. Who knows maybe he would still be a hard worker even if he played football, but I'm thinking his "cotton picking, corn planting, cow maintaining education" far outweighs a few years of football.
Ken helping with hurricane Katrina clean up.
Images copyright Jed Clark
6. Service. I suppose this is a combination of the previous 3 qualities, but I can't pass up mentioning it. Ken is happiest when he's doing something for someone else. Whether it's church service, helping neighbors, doing things for family & friends, or volunteering as a Basic EMT on the ambulance, Ken is there and loves doing it.
Ken helping our friends prepare for the hurricane
7. Patience. Ken has been blessed with a lot of patience. I'm probably not the easiest person to live with. Being more of the "alpha" type personality. Ken has calmly and patiently stuck with me as I learned to stretch myself in a way that benefits both of us instead of behaving like a steam roller crushing the free agency of others. Ok, that makes me sound like some barbarian, which I'm not, what I'm saying is it's been a process to celebrate the fact that we all contribute to the marriage/family and that sometimes there is more than one way to do something, and it may not be my way, and that is ok.
8. There are a ton of other qualities that I could list here, but the last one I want to mention, which was what made me start thinking about this whole subject in the first place, is Ken's woodworking ability. By profession, Ken is a Unix Engineer (computer stuff). By hobby, he makes things. His grandfather was a carpenter. When he was younger he had opportunities to make, build, or fix things. His ability to work with wood, welder, or tools, combined with the qualities I listed above has turned out to be a amazing blessing in our home. I never said to myself "when I get married, my husband better be handy with tools and saws so we can have beautiful things, save money making something that would be more expensive to buy, or to cut wood projects for the Relief Society..." It NEVER crossed my mind what a blessing that would be, and so here is a tribute to my amazing Handy Hubman......
Ken (on the left) and his Ag teacher. Ken & a buddy made this cattle trailer & won Grand Champion in AG Mechanics for it.
Ken didn't like the "maroon" tile in our kitchen, and later replaced it with "burnt orange" (it's a Texas thing)
This isn't your ordinary wok. This is made from a tractor disk. Seriously! A friend showed Ken how and the next chance Ken got to rummage through his dad's farm equipment he grabbed this tractor disk, sand blasted it, welded the handles and turned it into a wok that can cook food for a army of people! Yum!
Working hard on something for me, as usual...
Ken and his dad built this "day room" on the back of our old house. Ken is finishing the tile.
Ken built the drawers and the super cool lazy suzan that the TV sits on so we can swivel it in different directions.
There is never enough storage space in closets. No problem, shelves added.
Ken cannot bear for me to spend good money on Ikea pressed particle board furniture (no offense to Ikea). I was interested in this hutch, Ken made it out of real oak for about $250.00 cheaper than the pressed particle board at Ikea. Way to go Ken!
Hubman's added touches to our piano & dining room
Have you ever priced a 6x4 foot dining room mirror? We did and it was way too expensive.... home project #500... Ken made this innovative dining room mirror (including the tile, we hand painted it and then had it fired)
Desk for the kids
Latest project. About 30 picture frames for me. Now I've got to paint them.
These are actually file cabinets that Ken made for my storage closet
Dustin's Bed
Daria's Bed
Only a Mormon would appreciate this. Ken made the bottom portion, drawers for clothes, just 2 days before Daria was born. Later he made the compartment for the extra space, room to hold 108 #10 cans that you can put in one side and roll out the other, and disguise with a bed skirt. Ken's idea. The first picture shows the drawers for clothes and #10 cans
with the bed skirt
The list is actually longer than that, this is just what I had pictures of. A few other items that Ken has made: a bed for our neighbor's daughter, laid flooring in our last 3 houses, mirrors and moulding in the bathrooms, projects for the school carnival, a stool for me, picture tile's for the Relief Society, house built on the rock for our family sharing time in Primary, double sand box for the kids, square foot garden, reindeer card holder, bulletin boards for the kids, and most recently a TON of craft projects for the Relief Society Super Saturday. Thanks Ken for all that you've done to beautify our home!
