Memories...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Madison Turns 4!!!

Madison turned 4 on June 7th!! I can't believe she is FOUR. She is growing up so fast! I kept telling her I didn't want her to turn four, I only wanted her to be three and she said "No, mom I HAVE to turn four"... and that is the truth. She has to grow up. I wish I could freeze her in this stage. She is so adorable and so nice to her mommy. She is always saying "Mom, I love you". So cute!

This was a much anticipated birthday. Madison has been talking about her next birthday since the day after she turned three. I was very disappointed because I was still in the hospital and was not able to have a big party with her friends like she wanted. My doctors had been telling me about a week before her birthday that I would probably get to go home. I was so excited because I wanted to be home for her birthday so bad, but a few days before her birthday they told me that I was not going to be able to go home for a while. I was so sad, but we tried to make the best of it. We had a party in the little family room a few doors down from my hospital room. I was able to go down there in a wheelchair. I ordered pizza and had it delivered to the hospital. Brett picked up a cake and Julie got some balloons and princess plates. Madison enjoyed every minute of it! My family and Brett's family joined us for the party. She opened lots of presents and enjoyed all the attention. Not very many 4 year olds get to celebrate their birthday in a hospital! And we were just down the hall from the room she was born in exactly four years ago.

Here we are enjoying the beautiful weather on my wheelchair ride (I was getting 30 minute wheelchair ride each day at this point). It was a perfect day to celebrate Madison's birthday.

This is a close up of Madison's cake. She wanted a princess cake with 4 monkeys on it. I ordered a princess cake from Baskin Robbins and Julie found 4 monkeys that we added to it! PHEW! It was exactly what she wanted!!

I did some online shopping and I also had my friend Leslie do some personal shopping for me so I could give her some birthday gifts. I tried to think of something fun to give her and I thought she would enjoy a little diaper bag that was filled with real diapers, bottles, pacifiers, wipes, burp cloths etc. for her baby dolls. I thought she would like having something like this when I have the baby. So far she LOVES it!! My parents bought her a new baby doll to go with the little diaper bag and Hailey got her the blanket and little burp cloth. Here she is with her new baby doll. She named her "cutie pie" , she loves this little doll and has been taking good care of her. She told me " Mom, my baby came out of my tummy and I have to take care of her". She changes her diaper and sings lullabies to her its so adorable.

She has also been telling me that she is a "good mommy".

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Madison's First Ballet Recital

On May 22nd Madison had her very first dance recital. It broke my heart to miss this special event. It was a bittersweet day for me. SO sweet because I was so proud of my little girl, and bitter because I wanted to be there with her so badly and not be alone in my hospital bed. We had both been looking forward to this day for a while. Of course Brett video taped it all for me and my mom and my friend Leslie took so many good pictures so that I could feel a part of it. Madison did such a good job! And after the performance Madison and her little friend Edie came to perform their dance for me! It was adorable, and it totally lifted my spirits.

Madison got her hair and make-up done by some of the older dancers from the dance studio. She looked so pretty !!

Getting lined up, ready to start dancing...

All of the cute ballerinas in her class.

In action!

This picture is one of my favorites because at the very end of the dance they all froze in their very own pose. Madison was very serious about this! She held her pose very still and she stayed in her pose for the longest. She finished strong!

Madison and Brett :)

Edie and Madison about to perform for me in my hospital room!

GOOD JOB GIRLIES!!! I gave them a little candy and flower for performing so well for me.

Me and Leslie with our cute ballerinas!

Madison with her flowers from Grandma Susan.

Madison doing her ballerina pose for me.

I gave her a ballerina doll for doing such a good job.

(Luckily, I have some very good friends and family who have also become very good personal shoppers!)

Saturday, June 05, 2010

bed rest cont.

Here I am 18 1/2 weeks pregnant in the hospital at the very start of my bedrest... hanging out with my two best friends.

Sleepovers in the hospital!!!

I have been so lucky to have so many visitors. A few of my friends have even spent the night with me in the hospital so that I didn't have to be alone.

I got to go home on bedrest after one week in the hospital. Here I am at about 20 weeks with Madison :) She is showing me some of her art work from preschool!

Brett had to go out of town for the weekend so my sister Hailey came to take care of me! She did such a good job taking care of me and Madison and she was 34 weeks PREGNANT herself!! I love my sister. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family helping me with everything.

Here is Hailey enjoying"bedrest" with me. She thought it was great to spend the weekend in bed!

9590610498" />

Here are some of the projects I have done on bedrest. I have been busy in bed :) My sister helped me make the cute burp cloths and my mom helped me make the little onsies!!

Madison spent a lot of time playing in my room while I was at home! She would cart all her toys in my room and play by me for hours. Here she is lining up all her dolls :)

My dear friend Leslie taught me to crochet and I have become a little obsessed!! I have made a few hats and a blanket. I'm working on some cute booties right now.

Happy Mother's Day! Madison made me this beautiful poster for Mother's Day. I love it.

Celebrating 30 days on bedrest!! My friends threw a "girls night in" party for me at my house. I ventured downstairs for the special occasion. They made some really, really good food!! Here I am lounging on the couch with my sister at the party.

Back in the hospital. I was at home for about 3 1/2 weeks and then I was admitted back in the hospital at 23 weeks because I was contracting too much. Here I am after one week in the hospital. I MADE IT TO 24 weeks!!!!!!!!! The nurses gave me this certificate! I seriously couldn't be prouder!! 24 weeks is when a baby is considered "viable" and starts to have a chance for survival. What a sweet day it was! I will never forget the feeling of joy and accomplishment I had that day.

Brett Chilling in my hospital room. He and Madie have spent MANY, MANY hours here with me. I love my family.

My girlfriends visiting me in the hospital I am about 25 weeks along!

WHAT A TREAT!!! My sweet friend Michelle made me the best cake ever. Chocolate Peanut Butter! It was so YUMMY!!!!

and the bedrest continues...

Today is June 6th 2010

I am 27 weeks along...

I have been on bedrest for 8 weeks and 2 days...

I have spent a total 5 weeks in the hospital so far...

and i will keep going....

Saturday, May 22, 2010

bed rest

on april 9th 2010 i went to the doctor because i was feeling a some cramping and pressure. i really didn't think it was a big deal, and when i called to talk to the nurse she almost didn't even have me come in because she said it was "normal" but she changed her mind at the last minute and said why don't you just come in and get checked out. so i did and i will never forget when my doctor checked me and told me that the pressure i was feeling was in fact NOT normal. i was 3 cm dilated and had a bulging bag of water. i was 18 weeks and 5 days along. they took me straight the hospital and after many tears and medical tests to see if there was an infection in the bag of water causing my body to get rid of the pregnancy... the doctor told brett and i that if we really wanted to he would try to stitch up my cervix and stop the baby from coming out. he said he really wasn't sure if it would work. he warned us that it would be very difficult to stitch me up because i was completely effaced and there was barely enough tissue to stitch. he said he was also going to have to push the bag of water and the baby's head up and out of the way to place the stitch with out breaking my water. he gave us a 5% chance that he would be able to get the stitch in and that the baby would then make it to a survivable gestation. but he said he would try if that was our wish. and it was. he said he would try as hard as he could. as i saw him pacing around my room in worry as to whether he could save my pregnancy i prayed very hard. and i left it in the lords hands. when i woke up from surgery my doctor told me that he was able to get the stitch in! he was very pleased with the stitch and later told me that he believes that there was some"divine intervention" involved. i feel so lucky!! so now the stitch is in and i am on bed rest. bed rest for 4 and a half months.... right now i am laying in bed only getting up to go to the bathroom. my muscles are aching as they are wasting away, my hair is a mess, my mind is wandering but my heart is full. full of hope. and my belly is bouncing with a baby that kicks and turns. to him maybe everything seems normal. i hope so. for now i will do the only thing i can do... stay in bed hoping and praying that this baby i feel kicking around inside of me gets a chance at life. a good life.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Las Vegas

At the beginning of April Brett and I went to Las Vegas with our best friends Jeff and Carrie. We stayed at a fabulous resort off of the strip. The resort had a movie theater, shopping, restaurants, a spa and pool etc. We spent almost all of our time at the resort. We loved the spa. It was such a relaxing trip!!!