I am so emo today! I hated the way i am treated! Its just seems like i am non-existence or what. I cant blame how they treat me or play pranks on me. Sometimes people say things that hurt so so much and it seems like they did not notice it. Well, perhaps that i do speak things that hurt people so much that i do not even notice it too. I dunno, i just feel like crying out loud today. It seems like there is so much emotional stress on me. The things that i have done seems un-noticed.

People play pranks on me is just normal. Just that i could not take any pranks today. I flare up at just the slighest thing today. I was angry at my friend for saying things at me. It just normal that she always say things in a very straight manner.

Went to my work place today, cox i gotta get drew his present. Walked the whole of orchard dunno how many times and i am dead tired. Nobody accompany me. Sad.. cox i really have no idea what to buy. Was pranked like a fool today. My collegues told me that they did nt bring any money to work, so they did not have lunch. I offered to lend them some money. Well well, in the end, it ended up that they are pranking me. When they told me that it was just a prank, i cried immediately, and i mean it. I was angry at them for pranking at me, for playing at my trust in them, angry at me for behaving like a fool. A FOOL. When i began to cool down, i began to think that maybe its was me just being pure dumb and idotic. I could not blame them totally for pranking me. I am sorry for speaking it so straightly and sorry if i have offended anyone. I just could not help it, cox it hurt me real bad. A prank that could set me weeping immediately. I do not mean to arrow anyone, but just to say what i really feel and let of my steam. Haiz, i do not wish to say no more cox the more i say, the more upset i am. Things shall end here.

Labels: Life' 07

Just went to this FANTASTIC retro furniture store today. I simply love the futnitures especially those furnitures that are from 1950s. So so retro!! It just brings us back into time, to somewhere we only get to see in the tv. The furnitures are not that expensive as compared to the first shop, VANGUARD. Furnitures in the VANGUARD store can cost up to $17k. Therefore, it makes the furnitures in this retro store relative cheaper. Haha.. although some of the chairs can cost like $600. haha.. what can i say about this store. LOVE IT!! The furnitures are classic.Anyway, take a look at the pictures that i have taken ba!! Hope u guys love it too.

Labels: School'07

Hum.. i have been getting rather restless this week and some mental blockage. I could not think of a good idea for my furniture design. Haiz.. I need to force myself to think and draw it out. Time is running out soon.

Just went to watch Vacancy this wednesday. Well well.. at least i could say that it was better than the show FRAGILE although both shows were not very good. Its simply about this couple in a spooky motel and how they stumbled upon these video tapes that show victims getting killed in the exact same room. Things would just happen exactly the same as shown in the video and the next thing we know is how the couple escape from this killing stuff. NO storyline. NO suspense. NO nothing.

Ah! Just some random stuff.. I feel like a fashion disaster sometimes. Cox the way i just match is just.. unseenable. No money, no figure, no face.. no need to dress so nice la! ( thats wat i feel sometimes) No figure, no money, no face.. thats y need to dress up.. cox it boost ur confidence and stuff. Haiz.. dunno dunno dunno.. and the nagging behind me is sooooo IRRITATING!!!!

Labels: Life'07

Just learnt an important lesson in life through a hard way. Though it does not seem harsh and stuff, but it hurt me real bad. Perhaps it is best that one keep his nose out of everything clean. And i mean it. Its good that if u are able to help but than if it doesn, perhaps it spells a disaster coming.

It has been stuck in my head ever since and i could feel that i am not the way i am before. I am letting go because of the one time. Perhaps by letting go, it will be better for me cox i dun have to put myself in such a difficult position ba. I do nt know if this is the best way out and i am too lazy to search for other ways. Letting go seems so easy and yet so hard. I dun even know what i am trying to say or type. Maybe.. its just time.


可能人生的那一段路就到此为止吧。或许在我脑海里的这一段记忆就这样被删除掉。就像是被写在沙滩上的沙一样，被海水冲走了，又是展新的一片沙滩。

Labels: Life'07

Finally.. i have submitted in my model. Its just life that perhaps students sacrifice their sleep to complete their work ba, not only for design courses but also other courses. I was not sleeping again.. from thu night to fri morning just to complete my model. The night just pass like that.. and i stole a quick nap of half and hour cox i gotta work on fri.

Labels: School'07

I dun like the way things are evolving to now. I am sick of this and i could not pretend any longer. Yet i do not what the truth to surface. I want to do something to salvage this thing.. or it is not necessary to salvage it anymore.I do not know and yet deep down i am searching frantically for the answer. I once state in a coversation that i do not like to be emo, yet i am putting a brave front on cox i do not want to spread it to other people.

Sometimes, time is so tight that i do not hav a single minute to be emo. I hate the feeling of being emo! I dun wan myself to see the world as a dark earth. No! I really hope that things would turn for the better. I cannot hang on to this any longer. I am collasping from this.

Labels: Life'07

Sitting in class together, staring at the white board. I wonder..i wonder if it is worth it to give it all to help a person. A person u know. Does the person even know that u are helping him? Will the person feel grateful towards you? Will the person feel turned off by what u have done? Will he ever appreciate u? The feeling of wanting to go all out to help a certain person is so so strong, yet u do not know how to or where to start from. It just seems like there is no other possible ways to help and I am desprate to find that one kind of existing method if there is. I wanted to do something that could help!

Yet i guess that the so called help will not even exist when that person does not open up. Its just like a hermit crab.. living forever in its own protected zone, unwilling to see how big the world is or how wonderful the world can be. I am sick of myself doing so much and yet nothing is sinking in. I am sick of myself not able to do more. I.. I.. I.. dunno what more else to do but i do not want thing to stay at it is. I want things to move on. I may have no rights to interfer ones personal life, but.. but.. i just dun want to see people feeling sad around me. If i dun give a damn about u.. i would not be bothered to try and help rite? haiz.. i dunno. My mind is whirling like washing machine.

Perhaps i should stop thinking that i could even help others. Maybe i am just to kepo. I should just keep my nose clean and just dun care. I am lossing in to myself. I really am. I tried and prayed hard tat perhaps miracle could happen. Maybe.. just maybe.. miracles do not exist in this world.

Labels: Life'07

Had a 14 hours straight of sleep today and it feels great! haha.. i am so so so sleep deprived this week. Yesterday i was rushing for my submission again and history repeats itself. I only manage to get 1.5 hrs of sleep. My eyes were like a slit of line...so small!! haha.. though i did not really sleep, i did not manage to finish my stuff as there were simply too much to be done in like 24 hrs.



When a person is down with badluck, it just seems like everything is so so wrong that day. That morning, i saw my friend at Jurong East MRT station. She looked kinda tired and later did i learnt that she forget to save her autocad file after finishing it. It can take us 3-4 hrs or more to just finish drawing. When she told me that she forget to save her file, i was shocked. Luckily for her, she managed to find her file in the sch com.Perhaps badluck just switched upon me.



After tutorial that day, i wanted to open up my file and touch up whatever i need to touch up. Strangely my laptop went crazy that day. The programmes suddenly got jamed up and when i wanted to shut down, i could not do so. When i finally got to restart my laptop, i could not read my harddisk. I tried and tried, but my com just could not read it. Luckily, my freind came along and helped me. When my laptop and harddisk are both working, the folder in my harddisk got corrupted. Of all files, it was the file that i kept all my year 2 stuff got corrupted!! I tried to open it again, but i could not do so. The most important thing in that folder is my autocad drawings! Those drawings i spent like 3 bloody days to draw it out and inbetween i did not sleep and stuff.



The thought of my autocad drawings gone just like that is such an impact. I could not believe that i am so suai that day. On the spot, i cried. I cried because all my hardwork is gone like that. I cried becase the submission is 1 day away. I badly wanted someone to help me. When i look around, everyone is bust doing their things. At the moment, i wonder if i ever had a real good friend, a friend that could stand by me when i needed to. A friend that do not hav to say a thing but just accompany me through the dark times. For that moment, i think i do not.



My lecturer caught sight of my crying and asked me what happen. I told her that i hav lost all my autocad drawings. Praying hard that she would hav my submission deadline pushed back by 1 day, the truth just knock me awake. The sch do not hav any extension of submission deadline due to loss of files or corrupted data. This is it. I hav to redo all my drawings within 1 day. I know that i could not finish all my drawings within 1 day, but i am not going to let it affect my grades. So i just kept drawing and drawing to the last minute. I manage to finish 3 out of 4 drawings. That was like a miracle to me cox given my speed and the amount of things i had to finish, i jolly well could not do it.



I finally submitted my drawings on time. Through this, i feel blessed that i hav a lecturer like HER. She kept encouraging me to do whatever i can finish till the last minute and was very worried when i have not appear for the submission cox she was asking my friends where am i. I feel blessed! hehe..

Anyway, the last thing that i hav to say is to aways hav a backup for whatever u do. Hav 1 in a harddisk, ur com and the last in another thumbdrive. Should ur harddisk got corrupted, u still hav one in ur com. Should ur com crush suddenly, u still hav a copy in thumbdrive. Just dun end up like me.. cox i did not hav and backup copy. Is this a godsent joke or a chance for me to train up my autocad drawings?

Labels: School'07

It has beem a long time since i have update my blog. haha.. cox these few weeks i haven been so bz and all the recent events will turn into old events by the time i have the time to update. I am so sick and tired of saying how busy i am cox everytime it seems to be the same thing repeating all over again. Therefore, i shall skip that.

I am so exhausted today.Both physically and mentally. I only hav 2 hours of sleep yesterday cox i hav been doing my drafting for like 3 continuous days. I think millions and zillions of my precious brain hav died during that 3 days. I can feel my eye balls popping out too.. due to excessive zooming in and out. I am amazed that i still can tahan till now. Haha.. i guess today is a pretty bad day at the start of the week.

I am supposed to submit in this 4 A1 draftings by 4pm today. Because i could not really finish yesterday, i continued to do it this morning, just to rush for the dead line. I ended up skipping my breakfast and lunch. Record breaking.. i haven not eaten anything for 12 hours and i could literally feel my body draining away due to the shortage of sugar. Despite of me starving like crazy, i could not meet the submission window frame.. so i end up not submitting. Alas, the lecturers were not happy with our drafting skills and stuff.. so they hav decided to postpone the submission day to wed. AMEN! I am not going to sleep tml night agian. Haiz..

Sometimes i just hated myself so much so that i wanted to slap myself. Why cant i just stay up the whole night to finish my drafting so that i can make it for the submission time. Why do i slack!! I hate myself when i could not submit something it. It just makes me feel so useless and 1 step further to being a gd designer. Sometimes i really think that being a gd designer only exist in the dream. It simply takes sooo much to become one and just 1 simply question for me. R U READY TO MAKE THE NECESSARY SACRIFICES? The answer? Not for the time being.. but working hard towards the DREAM.

The next reason that i probablt hate myself so much is that i am always relying on my tutors for ideas. I hate myself for taking their ideas and not being able to come up with a good wan myself. I DO NOT want to be spoonfed. I wanted to think!! Therefore, i told myself that for the next project.. i am going to use my own ideas! I want no more spoonfeeding. I hav enuff of that! I cant always depend on my tutors. ARGH!!

Labels: School'07