No promise for tomorrow

Today I received a card from a lifelong friend. First I noticed it was addressed to Ms. (Name) whereas before she ALWAYS addressed mail to Mrs. (Name). Opening the card, there was a preprinted "Hoping you will have a holiday you'll cherish forever." Yes, my first Christmas ALONE I'll be sure and cherish this forever. It was signed "Love, (Family). No "thinking of you and Joe," no personal message at all. Just that damned cherish this holiday forever BULLSHIT. WTF kind of card is that to send???

I got one from my mom that said something nice about how I was one of the best things that ever happened to her, but didn't mention Joe at all. SOME MENTION would have been nice.

(Edit: Mom, if you're reading this, I know you didn't mean anything by it. I was just emotional at the time. Love you!)

A good day means you wipe the french fry salt off your hands BEFORE changing channels on the remote.

Speaking of salt, your 4 food groups now consist of salt, grease, alcohol, and pills.

You haven't seen the bottom of your car's passenger seat in months (and haven't needed to.)

You avoid phone calls and visits from the few friends you have left, because hearing about their great lives makes you feel even more of a pathetic loser.

Your dog, garden gnome, and dead grandmother all have more active social lives than you do.

When you have EXHAUSTED your local Blockbuster's resources. Seriously. I have watched every movie worth watching from there. If I get desperate I may have to venture into the kids' section, but I'm hoping to avoid that.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin

Love it.

I mentioned to some family members yesterday how I was talking to someone from a Catholic dating site and wanted to meet them in person, then went on to describe him, including him being African (moved here 10 years ago). My aunt made the comment "Don't you want to find a nice white boy? It would make things so much easier." My family is Euro/Caucasian, my late husband was Pacific Islander and this new man is African. I really took offense to what she said, both for Joe and this guy, but should I? Especially in the South, but really it's everywhere, interracial relationships attract more attention, sometimes negative. To me, it doesn't matter. I am attracted to certain people (more often non-Caucasian) and I don't care about other people's problems with it. I just didn't know how to respond to what she said. Did she think I shouldn't have been with my husband? She loved him too.

This added on to my sister saying to me, "Are you just afraid to be alone!" makes me not want to tell my family anything anymore. And I'm very close to them.