Bits and pieces of what I am

Chances to make things right,
Chances to keep and to have to hold on.
Chances, chances that don't come just all the time.
Chances are what you give me.

Damage has been done, words don't heal wounds done by actions and speech.
I still fail because all I've ever done is talk.
They don't mean a thing at all as long as I'm still idle.

Sometimes no matter how determined we get, our disability makes our intention impossible.

Well this is how I made my first day of freedom the WORST ever.

Day 1:
Woke up with a bad neck pain. extremely bad.
Waited for futsal where few pulled out.
Played futsal and my legs didnt last me half an hour. They were just SHAKING.
Sprained an ankle and the knee joint that is somehow connected to that ankle.
This is so fun.

Day 2:
There will be no day 2 because day 1 was the end of everything.
Greeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaat.

Tomorrow is the last day of AS exams.
However, the MOST STRESSFUL day.
Don't know if I can make it through the one hour paper. Never have I encountered an MCQ paper with such tough questions. No joke. By far, this will be the toughest paper I've ever sat for.

Time to go drown my face in my chemistry books again.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Somethings were supposed to have changed since a long time ago, but never took place.
It starts now.
Abit delayed, but it's not too late.
Here it begins.

Fluctuating is not what I want, something I did not anticipate to happen.
It causes things to happen;
It has its actions, it must have its consequences.
To make a person change, or to change their impressions and opinions about me, is the worst of it all.
Somethings can be undone, but this?
It seems like a scab that would sooner or later leave a scar behind.
A scar that can never be undone, that stays there forever.
Whether or not it is one, who knows?
Hoping silently in a corner that it'll all be gone and forgotten about, like nothing ever happened.

A horrible mess I've made.
A mess that can only be cleared up when these days are finally over.
A mess.. that only can be found in my room. LOL.
Never have I seen any room messier than this..
Too messy to be on this blog anyway.
CIAO!

Who ever thought a day gone so wrong, would turn out so lovely.

AS exams has begun. I'm in the middle of it.
3 papers down, 9 more to go.
The papers ahead that I dread for the most are Chemistry 2, Econs 2, Chemistry Lab, Econs 1.
Once those papers are over, it'll be a big burden off my shoulders.
Once this exam is over, it'll be a great sigh of relief.
WAITING FOR THAT DAY SO BADLY RIGHT NOW.
OVEEEEEER.

The solution was to talk how like how we always talked.
But when conversations die and get cut short,
this solution, or temporary remedy, to missing you is gone.

Just read the posts of exactly one year ago..
The time where it all began.
Today is different, totally opposite to what was then and what is now.
Outcomes of events?
I hope they stay the same.

I just wanna be right here with you,
I don't wanna see, see us apart,
I just wanna say it straight from my heart: ..

I've got troubled thoughts,
And the self-esteem to match.

There was a time where songs were barely heard in my daily life anymore,
That was long after I stopped listening to the only band I used to like listening to, Westlife.

In the year 2006, in the month of November, it all started coming back to me..
And the first album that made me start listening to songs again was..






Now they're back.. Not in black anymore, but in more colours though :P
This is their new singles though the official video isn't out yet.
YEAAAAAH. It gets the stress off my head after studying :P


NA NA NA NA NA NA!

I listen to it because it gives a certain mood but i don't take word for word of the lyrics for real and what it actually means to me. Just the tune. =)

I'd do it all again, and that's the honest truth
and I did it for you.

October October October.
Just as the song by Greenday, Wake Me Up When September Ends, slowly dies off, it's finally October.
And today is the 2nd of October, meaning it's the birthday of 2 people I'd like to make mention of!

First off is Aaron Minjoot! ( not being bias or anything, just following according to aphabetical order :P )

It's this guy. Not easy to get a picture of him ( mind you, he tends to be camera shy =P)
Yes, what about Aaron?
I knew him since I was in form 1, but he didn't bother wanting to get to know me so we didn't really know each other until.. form 4! :D

Yes, he's a smart guy. Smart in his own ways and own interests, such as history related and economics related topics.

Yes, he's tall too. That's why I linked him as "the coconut tree from portugal" =P
Having abit of portugese blood, abit of dutch blood and also abit of nyonya-chinese-dunno-what blood, he's got the looks. So ladies, if you're single, he's single too. XD

He's one of my favourite futsal buddy :D with the A-10 or with old La Salle buddies, if he's on my team, awesomeee! but if he's not, somehow I seem to injure him alot when he's not on my team. D: Not intentional!

The guy who brought me over to MAS1, but also the guy who left me in MAS1 while he left for AUP. oh well. D:

Well last but not least, the guy who somehow is able to read my mind when it comes to certain things. :P


The A-10. :D The team that plays futsal, CS in the computer lab, dota, and go crazy in college.

Well I won't forget, but I don't have much to give either, but I'll do the best I can :)




Though we don't talk often nowadays, though we rarely get along, but heh, we're still buddies. >=)
You were the first person I thought who would be smart in form one.
Even from the very first day I met you.
You came over to my seat and asked me "hi, my name is Danny (which I mistakened for Benny XD ), what's yours?"
Well, straights A's, you're smart!

You've taught me things, things like being a pain in the ass for others :P
And in return, I taught you (or more like you learnt from me indirectly) to be emo.
And as a student, you've exceeded what I could achieve. =P kidding!

A team mate for champion team in I-challenge last year, a helpful friend in Leo Club, in the prefects board, and probably chemistry tuition :P

You're a great friend. Yes, you've never heard this from me but let this be the first time then.
Truth be told, you're a friend whom I can depend on especially in times of need.

Memories unforgotten..
Yes, we will always remember that tragic day where we ruined the prefects gathering. LOL!











Leo Camp. Yes, Top Leader award for you, happy happy. :P That's our awesome flag too you're holding. ( and Sabash somehow camouflaged into the background right beside me = =")

Okay, I've said more than I planned to. :P
Happy 18th Birthday!

The only reason left.
If there are no more reasons, I'll just go back to where I came from.

---------------------------

We do not possess certain things even though capability is not a problem, is because we fear losing what we possess.
We don't want to get ourselves hurt when we lose something,
We don't want to be seen as someone who gives up easily if we have to let something go, when our true intentions are purely selfless ones.
We don't want to be called selfish if we hold on to something we can't let go,
We don't want to be called stubborn if we are unwilling to let something go or if we don't want to give up just yet.
We don't want to hurt others if we have to lose something.

I have this fear, to lose what I have, or what I can have.
What I can have is something that keeps me going..
Something that is the only reason why I'm staying.

How much it all means to me, I never said.
So many words in my head I never spoke of, just dying inside me to be poured out.
There are just so many things, even a balloon has it's maximum capacity before it explodes.
Never was anything said because the best was what I wanted for you.
And if I were to speak up, you'll never have the best of what you could have gotten.
And the best is something we never know would be the best.

Learning to give away what I want,
To treat another how I want to be treated,
To be someone whom the present cannot comprehend.
In other words, learning to be myself.

Staring at the book doesn't mean I'm studying.
I'm just finding something to cover up what I'm really doing.
To cover up the fact that I'm actually isolating myself and over-thinking, if not that, then clearing up my thoughts.

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking
I am waiting as the time goes by
I think of you with every breath I take
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine

I just want to hold you
I just want to kiss you
I just want to love you all my life
I normally wouldn't say this
But I just can't contain it
I want you here forever, right here
By my side

All the fears you feel inside
And all the tears you've cried
They're ending right here
I'll heal your heart and soul
I'll keep you oh so close
Don't worry I'll never let you go

You're all I need
You're everything

No one else would ever do
I got a stubborn heart for you
Call me crazy but it's true
I love you
I didn't think that it would be
You who made it clear to me
You're all I need

The things that make you look unusual,
The things that make you look out of place,
The things that make you differ from others,
The things that make you look weird,
The things that make you look peculiar..
In other words, the things that make you special.

I've been trying to tolerate with your lack of manners and sense of logic.
It seems that you really have no sense of logic, thinking that I don't have any.
Pointing a finger at me doesn't mean the remaining 4 aren't pointing at you.

Your attitude. You lack respect, tolerance, and even patience.
Being so selfish, you only care about getting what you want no matter what happens.
And being so selfish, you show your true colours.
You sharp tongue, uncontrolled, shooting words of anger, insults and the like at people who get in your way, not considering the effects and the consequences your actions will bring you.

You're not one to be proud of.
I've been trying to forget all the past, but you're one to be ashamed of.
You never know what you've got till it's gone.
One day you'll lose everything, then you'll know how much people have been trying to help you.

I'm sure you will learn one day.. and that day will be too late.

I cried a tear,
You wiped it dry.
I was confused,
You cleared my mind.
I sold my soul,
You bought it back for me.
And held me up and gave me dignity,
Somehow you needed me.

You gave me strength,
To stand alone again,
To face the world,
Out on my own again.
You put me high upon a pedestal,
So high that I could almost see eternity.
You needed me.

And I can't believe it's you I can't believe it's true,
I needed you and you were there.
And I'll never leave, why should I leave,
I'd be a fool,
'Cause I've finally found someone who really cares.

You held my hand,
When it was cold.
When I was lost,
You took me home.
You gave me hope,
When I was at the end.
And turned my lies,
Back into truth again.
You even called me friend.
You needed me.

"When I see your face,
there's not a thing that I would change
And when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for a while."
-The way you are-

So often I find myself looking back at all the things I've done, the people I've let down, the people I've disappointed.
Disappointment for even the smallest matters, they haunt me.
Times of embarrassment, humiliation, loss of expectations.

Those times I was hesitant, times I was too desperate, and every single time I become someone very indecisive, they lead me to mistakes.
Sooner or later? now? when?

My mind is in such a state, you could say it's starting to malfunction.
A pool of water with gentle waves or with constant ripples in it, that's not what my mind is anymore.
Picutre a pool of stagnant water, so stagnant that there's not even the slightest current on the surface due to the blowing wind.
Just completely stagnant, it doesn't seem right at all.
Then every once in a while, a humongous splash comes, and the water in the pool splatters at every direction.

Within seconds, the pool water becomes stagnant again.
Something is wrong.

Every action I take is a mistake.
Mistakes that lead to good outcomes, or horrible consequences, that's what I encounter throughout the day.
Why do I say they're mistakes? I never know the right time to do the things I should do, actions done at the wrong timing- mistakes.
Why wrong timing?
I'm always indecisive of when I should do something or should I just leave it.
If I'm a little too early, mistake done.
A little too late, mistake done.
right on time? never happens.. does it?

Isn't it funny how time seems to slip away so fast.
One minute you're happy, the other you're sad. If life is so short,
Before we run out of time,
Why won't you take the chance,
Before our time has gone.

I don't want to lose what I have now.
I might never lose it, or I might lose more than what I think I am capable of losing.
I have a feeling I'm in the category just like others.
I was. Maybe I am now, too.
Maybe will always be.

How bad things get, all you need to do is keep talking.
Talk until the sun shines again.
Talk.

So many reasons to why I miss those old days,
the days of April and May,
June and July too,
times that are now only our live's backview.

I have to admit, I'm screwed.

I smile, you laugh, I look away.
I sigh, you ask me why, I say,
"It's okay and I am just feelin' down."

When our primary light source fails to shine anymore, we just find another source to give us light;
We find another not because we find a replacement for the old one, but because they can provide us what we need, to provide what others have failed to provide.

Every day like today.
Every minute like an hour.
Every nothing like something.

This fear.
It's causing me to keep my distance right from the start,
because I don't want to be distanced in the end.
Trying my best to not hold on to anything because I'm afraid of losing it.

After all these time,
I thought I could stand by myself already.
That was until you came along.
Now I realize I'm just the same as before.
I keep falling over and over again.

Each time I wake up, it just feels like everything just got worse than before.
My thoughts, my future.
All because of mistakes I do not know I'm making.
Somehow, everything seems to be a mistake now.
And with time running out, I am a mistake for what has yet to be done.
What is it that has to be done?
I don't know.
My brain is starting to lose it's focus, to lose it's ability to think anymore.
I can't think.
Everything is just jammed and undigested.

Talk to myself again, all alone, on my own
Walk by the scene again, just to see what people see
Caught in your stubborn hold, and I'm so far from home

So turn the lights on,
Turn the lights on for me
Keep the lights on,
Keep the lights on for me

Lost in your thoughts again, consciously you think of me
Focus your perfect words with a pen you write me in
I can't be reached, so far from here, I need you near

Don't go to sleep

I wait for you, I stay for you.

Tonight is one of those times I regret dozing off.
Waking up just makes me feels very stupid.
My mind is as twisted as ever.

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.
I don't know what's going on.
There's too much on my mind right now.

Trying to digest what I've just found out,
to sort out my thoughts, clearing the doubts.

Lies you said.
Pretence you've made.
For the sake of someone or for selfish intentions?

I want to do something about it.
But for this once, maybe I should just wait.
Maybe not.
I don't know.
To hesitate or to be hasty?

"There are moments when I don't know if it's real,
Or if anybody feels the way I feel."

I could leave anytime.
Just anytime at all.
It's a matter of if I'd want to leave or not.
Nothing is holding me, anchoring me down.

Maybe the things I seek and the things you seek aren't the same.
Maybe they are the same.
But there's so much to risk for this matter.
This fight to keep it invisible and silent is getting harder to do each day.

Obvious to everyone.
Obvious to you, perhaps.
But I'm doing my best to pretend for the sake of certain matters..
So that I don't lose what I have now for something that may never come..
Something I might not even want or need.
Something.. still undecided.

Sleep is for both the body and mind.
My body sleeps as much as it can every night, but my mind?
It is an insomniac.

As another second passes by,
it feels like death is another inch nearer.

Songs that kept playing in my mind..
Songs that reminds me of times and moments when they're played.
Songs that made up the entire past 3 years of my life.
Starting from the very beginning..

'07
You and I Both-Jason Mraz

I Don't Love You-My Chemical Romance
Signal Fire- Snow Patrol
This Is How I Disappear- My Chemical Romance
I'm Movin' On-Rascal Flatts
Used To-Christ Daughtry
What Hurts the Most-Rascal Flatts

Won't Go Home Without You- Maroon 5

08'
March On- Good Charlotte

Take A Bow-Rihanna
Hate Me-Blue October
Boston-Augustana
Unsaid Things-Mcfly
Truly Madly Deeply-Savage Garden
Romeo and Juliet-The killers

Memory-Sugarcult
Stranger-Secondhand Serenade
Deep and Meaningless-Rooster
Staring At the Sun-Rooster
Yellow-Coldplay
Violet Hill-Coldplay
Angels on the moon-Thriving Ivory
All 'cause of You-The 88

Patience-Take That
My song and...-Younha
River Flows in You-Yiruma
Maybe-Secondhand Serenade.

'09
Stay-Estrella
Mr Curiousity-Jason Mraz
Voice on the Radio-Marie Digby
Lost-Michael Buble
Pretty Boy-M2M
She's the one-Robbie Williams
Your call-Secondhand Serenade
Why-Secondhand Serenade
6 Months-Hey Monday

Never Say Never-The Fray
Goodbye-Secondhand Serenade
Like a knife-Secondhand Serenade
Roadside-Rise Against
Candles-Hey Monday

What If-Coldplay
Broken Strings-James Morrison
It's not supposed to go like that-Rascal Flatts

Plane-Jason Mraz

I remember-Bloc Party
Best I've Ever Had-Vertical Horizon
I try-Lifehouse

Fallin' Apart-All American Rejects
Breakin'-All American Rejects
Another Heart Calls-All American Rejects
Stop Crying Your Heart Out- Oasis
The Middle-Jimmy Eat World
Pieces-Sum41


'10
Am I still the one-Daniel Powter
Run-Amy MacDonald
Wish For Something More-Amy MacDonald
Get Over It-Avril Lavigne
Vanilla Twilight-Owl City

9 Crimes- Damien Rice
You and I, Unfulfilled Feelings- Gundam Seed Destiny
God Knows-Hirano Aya
Lost My Pieces- Hashimoto Yukari
Baik Baik Sayang-Wali Band
Lose you-Pete Yorn

Trust You-Yuna Ito
Life is like a boat-Rie Fu
Liquefy-The Servant
Slipped away- Avril Lavigne
Would you be there- Redwan Ali
Thinking of you-Pete Yorn
All we ever do is say goodbye-John Mayer
Halfway gone-Lifehouse
Don't forget-Demi Lovato
Sitting,waiting,wishing- Jack Johnson
Lie to me- Stacy Wilde
Last Song- All American Rejects

Hey Soul Sister- Train
The Only Exception-Paramore
Hello-Glee Cast
I need you now-Lady Antebellum
Moments-Westlife
We'll be a dream-We the kings
Can't Fight this feeling- Glee Cast
Deeper Conversation- Yuna

Each song has it's own time, forming a part of a memory of what was of the past 3 years.
But the songs that are so important, the songs that are precious, nobody knows.

Ever felt like your life was ending soon?
Yes, of course I had. twice.
Only the second one occured recently..

Wednesday rashes started showing up on both my hands
Areas on the inner part of the hands starting from the end of the first thumb knuckle right up to my wrist.
It started spreading and dispersing around.
A big patch of blood suddenly appeared under my skin of my feet, in other words, internal bleeding.
Headache started kicking in on thursday, I decided to head for the doctor on Friday morning, even if it means skipping college.
As the seconds go by, I started thinking that this could be something serious.
I could be down with some blood disorder.
I could be dying soon. haha.
The thoughts we have when something doesn't go right with our bodies, it drives us nuts somehow.

Friday my headache got worse.
Somehow I knew it wouldn't be something serious, but I was rather afraid.
Waiting at the hospital almost half a day, having to go through various scans.
From bloodtest to x-ray, from x-ray to ultrasound, from ultrasound scanning to urine tests.

From having to skip one day of college, my thoughts suddenly picked out the first line of westlife's moments song. = ="
Stupid? yeah.
Very.

Turns out that I have Vasculitis.
No, it's not that I'm weak or what.
My blood and organ status are perfectly fine.
The cause of this Vasculitis?
Could be a sudden action by my antibodies to attack my own body, or some after effect of a viral infection.
Doc couldn't figure out.

You could say I'm fine now.
What a relief. But potong at the same time.
oh well.
I shouldn't be here.
Bye!

Time reveals for me the side of the people which I've never seen, and never expected to see before.
To see all these is a great shock for me, a great turndown, a great disappointment.
These disappointments lead me to never look up to you again.
You're down on the ground from now on.

Words we speak, actions we take, people just don't seem to understand sometimes.
When we say something, we have to take into consideration of our stand.
Where were we before we said this?
What're others' impression of us right before we say what we had to say?
If we don't take into consideration what they think right before we speak, we give off a totally different message.
A message that is later on either misunderstood for something else, something false, or something for real if it isn't actually for real.
If it doesn't affect others' impression of us, or we're not misunderstood, we catch the others off guard in a whole load of troubles they already have on their mind.
Did we think before we say something? Are they able to hear what we say?
Are they capable?

Picture a man who has suicide on his mind already. He is at the brink of making a firm stand whether to commit suicide or not in a few minutes.
Then comes along his friend who says to him, "Hey, I've told you so many times to clear the trash, when're you going to clean it? I hate procrastinators and dirty people like you."
Having that said, the man loses his marbles and minutes later the man jumps off a building.
We should just be watchful when we say things, not say what we feel and want to say.
To be more considerate is what we should be.

When we watch others in what they do, to catch their flaws and find their wrongs, did we do that to ourselves first?
Before we talk about others, did we take a look in the mirror to see if what we're trying to prove wrong in other people can actually be found on us?
Thieves don't catch thieves. Both have their hands equally covered in dirt, so neither one can catch the other and say that they're wrong.

If a person is accused of a crime which he did not do or did not intend to do, and we are the victims of the act, do we point our accusation finger and bombard him to our hearts content?
In the first place, do we even know the real situation? or we just want to point an accusing finger at him and make the supposedly innocent look guilty?
Have we even heard the other side of the story?
Both sides have different stories, but neither side is entirely true.

The rights to speak comes when one isn't speaking according to ones own emotions.
Because emotions don't speak of the entire truth.
When emotions overwhelm, we think too much.
This thoughts of ours can even make the false look true.
Extreme strong emotions can even cause the mind to be unable to differentiate between what was actually just a thought and what is actually true.
And with the influence of the media, we find the 'solution' and something to clear our minds.

People say they try, but there's no difference.
Perseverance will help us change, but just a little effort won't make much of a change for us, especially in the eyes of others.
We give up, and we say we can't when the fact is that we have not given it our best shot.
We say what we think the way things are, we say what we want as reality when it actually isn't.
We say so many things according to our hearts and emotions just so that we don't see the real situation.
We build walls of stories and fairy tales around us, so that we don't have to come back to reality.
We're just too afraid to face reality.

Saying all these, it's not from what I think should be or could be, but what was, is, and always will be.
I say things not of just simple thoughts, but of what I've observed and experienced for the past 18 years of my life.
Compared to both experiences and observations, simple thoughts are no where close to what these two can teach.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Some words are not meant to be said.
Some truths are not meant to be told, just so that friendship won't be lost through something that might not worth anything later on.
Sometimes the truth hurts, sometimes it even destroys.
That's why I keep it all away, because I don't want to lose what I need so badly for something that I don't really need.
I keep it all away, so that everything seems fine and normal.
I keep it all away for everyone's sake.

When you're in my shoes, the shoes of the neutral, you see what I see.
You see through the eyes that sees from both angles, angles that are very different.
I wish you could see what I see.
Wish you know that what you see is just from your point of view, have you been to the opposite side to see what they see?
Sometimes we tend to misinterpret people due to the fact that there is prejudice deep in our heads, we don't bother opening our mouths to ask what's going on.
When things happen, they happen for a reason, for 2 reasons, for many reasons. But do we know the reasons?
You may never know if you never ask.
And without asking, you have already made your own impression of them up in your head.
An impression that has an equal chance to be wrong as well as to be correct.

I wish people could see the situation.
To see the situation from both sides.
Because if only one person sees from both sides, the majority are the both sides.
It's not the opposition that wins, but the majority, that are the both sides against the one person.

If there were more people on neutral ground, I wouldn't be so lonely here in the middle.
Everyone has a side. They chose a side.
Sides so that they stand up for what they think is right.
But how can you see if it's right when all you see is one idea, and one principle?
If only there were more of me.
Then I wouldn't be this tired. This worn out.
Then I wouldn't be so incapable.

My thoughts, my emotions, the things apart from logic thinking.
They start filling in my head now, occupying more space than before.
But are they necessary?
I don't think they are, but to have it all in my head is something I somehow feel obligated to do.
It's not that I want to, there's just this feeling that this is needed.
What I want to do are mostly affected by what I need to do.

Is your favourite colour blue?
Do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outerspace?
Now I'm learning you
Did someone took a portion of your heart?
Now I'm learning you

And if you don't mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
And Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

I let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

If you don't mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
And Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

When you've forgotten where you're heading to, when all is forgotten,
all including what you've wanted.
This is where you seem lost. You feel lost.
You are lost.
The the paths keep winding and crossing so much.
Are all these illusions, here just for a moment?
Your eyes might be playing tricks with your mind and you might not in fact actually be lost, however your senses tell you otherwise.
Contradictory senses.
It all just gets worse by the second.

Think again. Are you lost, or just confused?

Imagine if I could turn into what I used to be..
What I was supposed to be in everyone's mind at the start..
To reverse the process of what I've become...
back to the state where my mind wasn't this messed up, where I could make out my thoughts and decide.
Now everything I do seems like pointless efforts and purposeless sacrifices.
What am I doing?

I guess I've been saying it all,
saying more than what I was meant to say, too.
It's been a long day.
Any word to describe my day? no.
Because it requires so many words, such that I can't even tell simply how was my day.
One word is not enough.

At the end of the day, you finally tell yourself that you've had enough.
I've seen somethings, felt somethings.
Gone through again what I didn't want to go through again.
Somehow after today, it makes me look back and say "Failure. Disappointment. Wasted."
And hoping to have somebody there to help, to really pull you up, you turn to your side to find that nobody is even within your sight.
Nobody at all, not anymore.

And does it all make sense? Yes, it does make sense.
What does it all mean? it meas that I don't know what my thoughts are.
I've been straying too far, too long.
I've even lost the feeling of what it's like to belong.
And what I've just posted for the past 17 lines are all just rubbish and gibberish.
Time to turn off the switch and start repairing and charging up.

Said it all,
Nothing to say at all.
Nothing to say that matters.
Doesn't matter any more.

When the tears fall away,
And there's no conversation,
There's nothing left to break
That's not already broken.
You're staring into space
And every inch of silence
Been standing here for days, and days.

In the sudden light of day,
The weight of expectation,
Hurt begins to fade
As you find a new direction.
Been talking here for days and days and days.

How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace,
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave,
So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
There's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face.

Came back from Genting on Friday.
Priceless.

Anyways, I won't be coming online as regularly as I used to.
It's time to cut down on the unnecessary things I spend my time on and cut down on my internet life.
I've been living in the virtual world almost everyday since a long time ago.
I do everything here.
My few years of social life and past time were all wasted here.
Time to let go of the addiction to the internet.. this addiction to the pc.

My past semester wasn't that good either.
Overconfidence I'd say.
So it's time to let go of some things.
To lose them now.
Some things..

3 days off to clear my messed up mind.

Songs currently playing over and over:

Hello- Glee Cast
Don't forget- Demi Lovato
I'm Listening- James Newton Howard
Little House- Amanda Seyfried
If a song could get me you- Marit Larsen
Trust You- Yuna Ito
Would you be there- Redwan Ali
You and I, Unfulfilled Feelings- Gundam Seed Destiny
Lose You- Pete Yorn
Talk to me- DNR

You were never around.. will you ever be?

I just got to know, we might be shifting next year. Not sure to where, just somewhere. However it won't really affect my plans. All I want to do is get a scholarship overseas and leave. Coming back? I don't know.
Trees that are rooted deep into the ground don't get swept away by the wind, only forced to bend with the force of the wind.
I'm not rooted. I don't see a reason why I should be.
If you think I have one, tell me. Don't just tell me, prove it to me.
I'll be gone when the wind blows.

I don't think I have anything meant to be posted here anymore.
We'll see if I'm planning to update anymore for this month.
Bye.

You were always hard to hold,
So letting go ain't easy,
I'm hanging on but growing cold,
While my mind is leaving.
Talk is cheap,
Give me a word you can keep,
Cause I'm halfway gone.

Sometimes we get bombarded with disappointments, we let it all go without holding back any grudge whatsoever.
However, over time, we become nonchalant to disappointments, so much so that we do not expect anything anymore.
That's what I'm becoming, not what I want to be.

And I'm still wondering where are you now. where did you go.

But it might be all just up in my head. Too much thinking =)

Friday:
I woke up.
Went to college to 'study' Malaysian studies.
Failed to do so, then went off to pick up Eviliza.
Whole day ended up walking here and there.
Went for Bible class after dinner, then off to Tracie's place.
We were supposed to give KangSiang a birthday surprise, but he somehow saw it coming. D:
Chua was traumatised by Tracie's dog, a Shih Tzu, which almost bit him and was madly barking away. aww.. hahahaha.
Came home at midnight, read a slide or two for Malaysian Studies and ended up chatting till I fell asleep.

Saturday:
Overslept, and was almost late for the Malaysia studies exam.
All I needed to do for this test is answer 2 right questions or score 2% to pass my overall marks for Malaysian studies. :D
Exam was scheduled 8-11, most of us came out at 9.
Went makan-ing, then to Pyramid for bowling and.. walking around.
The walking stopped when our legs were snapping in two already.
Was stuck at the KTM station for almost 1.5 hours.
Arrived back for dinner then went off again to mamak with the usual gang. =P

The thoughts are many,
but the mind is sleepy.

Every once in a while, a thought of great loss comes into my mind.
I fear these losses.
Losses not of material things, but of people.
Picture yourself suddenly losing the people around you... one by one.
Not that I've lost anyone in particular lately.. but this thought just hits me every once in a while.
Ever since a few years ago.

This fear nobody knows,
that both ways it goes.
The fear of losing people,
and you lost by them people.

Wednesday.
Yesterday I spent my whole day watching 3 movies, that are: Old Dogs, Dear John and Good Will Hunting.
Haven't been doing anything productive lately.
Read anything? yes, and I fell asleep immediately.
I was watching the TV yesterday midnight and reading the papers.
Before I knew it, I woke up to see that it was 2.40a.m already.
This flu just makes me feel extremely exhausted.


Thursday.
I woke up this morning, to find that my condition hasn't improved.
Been trying to 'sweat' it out as they say..
So I went to the extreme of wearing extra long pants with 3 layers on top.
Watched Red Cliff 1 and 2 under a thick blanket and with some warm water.
Oh well..

Failures so far for my holidays: failing to study Malaysian Studies final paper, repairing my bike, and recovering from my flu.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

People often wonder and mock me why I love the rain so much but be afraid of thunder and lightning at the same time.
Here's what I've got to say...

First thing, I'm only afraid of thunders, not the growling ones, but the ones that go cracking really loudly. But to really explain that, I'm afraid of really loud sounds, the sharper they are, the scarier. I'm not afraid of lightnings at all, it's the lightnings that bring about the thunder. Don't get me wrong.

Next, it's not the rain that I love, it's the weather where there's rain, heavy or just a drizzle, with strong winds, but no sunshine. Yes, it is gloomy, but there must be the wind blowing.

To me, the rain is just like my bowl of mushroom soup.
The soup must taste good- it must be raining with no sunshine.
The soup must be hot- the wind has to be blowing.
The soup must have no spring onion, but if it does have spring onions, they must not give out smell- I'd prefer the rain to have no lightning and thunder, but if there's lightning, there must be minimal thunder sounds.

If you didn't get the mushroom soup part, forget it. Don't ask me why I enjoy the gloomy weather, it just makes me feel good. :D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow I'm off to college.
For half a day.
Then back.
I have to study for a test, an exam, and prepare for some things i'm responsible for.
I probably would be worn out by saturday.

Without an obvious appearance,
you break the silence.
You, without the others, stand alone there.
Don't they all care?

My blog titles have meanings.
No, they're not random.
Go figure.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever came around,
not just pass by.

Tuesday.
I woke up close to 7, not bad after having slept close to 3a.m yesterday.
My nose was as blocked as ever.

I got to college, returned my overdue books, and got myself more books.
The college library staff are starting to love me, 'cause I always return my books late, and they get a little more extra income.
I was waiting for the bus at 10.10.
There was this bus, first time I was seeing it waiting in front of Metro's gates. I went there, the driver was in it, but the doors were shut.
After a while, he went off.
It was the bus meant for inti students and that a**hole didn't let anybody board the bus, and went off.
I ended up walking. I stank after that.

Took a nap in the afternoon, woke up in a much worse condition than before.
Somehow I seriously think I'm down with denggue, but it's taking me down slowly.
maybe.. =P
Been feeling sick ever since I woke up.
I played CS like for half an hour, which resulted in a bad headache.

Today hasn't been really productive, plus I've been having appetite problems.
Something seems to be affecting my appetite.
i can even skip my entire lunch without bothering.
Lol, let's hope it's nothing serious.

I've noticed you for more than a day,
Why did you show up and why do you stay?
Tell me something if you need to but do not lie,
Or all we ever say is goodbye.

Today has been partially productive day.
Tomorrow has got to be a more productive one.

I've got runny nose now, and I'm coming down with sore throat.
I think I might be down with H1N1, denggue fever, SARS or H5N1.
My right leg still doesn't feel good, plus I just strained my right shoulder again.

I'm supposed to be asleep now, but surprisingly I don't feel tired though it may be 1.45 a.m.
Going to college tomorrow morning, mainly because of the stupid library books.
Hopefully I can get my bike repaired, then wednesday I can take it for a spin for old time's sake.

I was hoping it'd rain.
But it didn't.
The strong winds just gave me false hope.
I wish I could take a walk under the cold or wet weather.
Or just lie down and stare straight into the sky for hours.

That's all for Monday.
Bye.

I've been wondering where you are,
I've been wondering if you care.
I've been wondering if you're still someone I knew,
or after all, if you're still you.
Talk is cheap,
Give me a word you can keep.
Cause I'm halfway gone.
Everything is tiring me,
my mind so weary.
I'm too tired.
Maybe even for you.
I thought you could be there to hear me out,
but you couldn't as I was screaming out loud.

I've cleaned up quite alot today.
Tomorrow I may have to start on what I've been promising myself.

There are things that maybe I should stop blogging about, all the nonsense.
Maybe I should stop blogging with a mind that is asleep.

Yes, finally I'm updating.
No, the previous posts (done by that "isabella" *shivers*) do not count 'cause I didn't post them.
Lol. Anyways, Backtracking..

Last week I was studying like nuts for my semester exams.
Sunday Alvin came and stayed over for YES on monday.
I was supposed to be there, but exams.. ARGH.
Economics paper.. no hope.
I went there later on in the evening till night.
Tried to study chem, failed due to exhaustion.

Tuesday had chem paper, gone. I just dug my own grave.
Met up with Eliza and Isaac who came all the way from Singapore.
Fed them bah kut teh then we went for YES.
I still had to go back. This year I wasn't allowed to stayover with the rest.
Sien man.

Wednesday maths paper.. DIDN'T FINISH AAAAAAAAAAAH.
So close..
Thursday Physics paper. I just nailed myself in own coffin.
Friday Stats paper. PHEW! first time I've completed the paper with quite alot of confidence and extra time.

Conclusion: the more time I spend on studying, that subject shall have no hope.
I only started studying stats at 2.30a.m while watching 'The blind side'.
Finished studying at 2.35a.m.

Friday, after our paper, we all headed off for pool. :D
After an hour of pool, we went to KTV.
Screamed our heads off and cried our heart out. LOL.

Isaac and Eliza were supposed to go back on Friday morning.. but I guess they missed us, so they extended their stay by one day. :D
We watched a bunch of movies.
And.. somehow time passed us by la. LOL.

I don't know what else to update anyways.
Unfortunately, we didn't have any pictures..
so.. too bad!

I went futsal today afternoon.
Still trying to unstiffen my legs.
After so many years, I think I'm not progressing much lately.
I had a hard collision on my shin which later on swelled up so badly.
Another on the same leg.
My right leg is practically retarded now.
My eyebags are just dark. really.
And I'm extremely exhausted.

I can be here,
I can sacrifice what I still can.
I can do what I can,
I can reach out as far as I can.
But it's only for now,
That is if you're still there.
If you're not there, if you're not you,
I don't have a reason to wait and stay.

Why am I saying these things?
What am I expecting?
I don't know.
Maybe it's too much, my expectations.
What do I want?
What do I need?

This will be the last post Isabella will sneakily write on bryant's blog
xDD

what bryant 'sang' *cough-cough* to me was true
hahaha.

bryce :

Hold up... hold on... don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile... Shine on... Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm.

Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up... Come on... why you scared
You'll never change what been and gone

me: *ear bleeds*

xD


rather than regret it
i'll just forget it all.
memories, beautiful they might be
will continue to hurt and haunt me
because
no matter how much you tell yourself
you've finally let go
accepted things
inside
it really isnt the case.
sometimes, painful memories can hurt real bad
they need to be removed.

cuz i've lost you.
things arn't the same anymore
we arn't the same like we used to be.
time to go.
i don't know when you're lying or not anymore.
thanks bryant for everything. =D
i still want an electric fly-killing racket! :P

what hurts the most...
was being so close.

wahliew ay bryant,
why all the emo songs you play all so suitable one.
HAHAHAHA
cya everyone! =)

xoxo; eliza.
--------------------------------------------------

I don’t need a better thing,
I’d settle for less,
It’s another thing for me,
I just have to wander through this world
alone.

currently, bryant is trying to unsuccessfully study for his physics exam tmr xDD

and his friend here, Isabella is sho sho bored.

she doesn't know what to do.

until she found an electric racket that can be used to kill flies.

they don't sell that in singapore wei.

so useful, i used it to kill 4 mosquitoes that were sucking on my thighs alrd

bryant lee, i want an electric insect-killing racket!!

buy for me! :P

xmas present?? <=) *hinthint!*

byee!

-------------------------------------------

i love this place,
but its haunted without you.
my tired heart
is beating so slowly.
in this little house,
the fire burns so brightly.
the fire's here to stay.

I remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

--------------------------------------------------------------

If God puts a cup of water within your hand,
then just a cup of water is all that he demands.
even if it hurts so bad right now,
His intentions are always right.
The only consolation is that its not a crime to cry.
If this is what he wants to happen,
if this is how im supposed to get stronger,
if this is how im supposed to learn,
then so be it.

its make or break.

written by
-Bryant's awesome friend, Isabella xD

There comes a time where we feel the people around us are disappearing.
They cease to exist, not literally but it fees so.
Maybe it's just otherwise, that we somehow cease to exist in the eyes of others.
A day, two days.. a week, a month, a year.. a lifetime?
Oh well, it's just a phase in life.

If you think you've got something,
don't take it for granted thinking it will never go away, that you can never lose it.
It still can, it will if it has to,
and once it's gone it won't come back.


I keep thinking of you, you're on my mind.
For the fifty seven thousandth time this morning.
I keep seeing you in sheets of white.
I can't change anything.
Anything.

This distance. who made it?
Don't bother.

Ever felt like you wanted to say something so much?
Yeah, but you end up not being able to say it.
There was no chance. But in your mind you think to yourself "Perhaps tomorrow..".
Tomorrow comes, more things come up your mind and you wanted to say them, plus what was unsaid from yesterday.
And again, you didn't have the chance to say what you wanted to say yesterday and the day before.

"maybe tomorrow.."

The next day comes, and there's so much on your mind now, you needed to spill them out.
Then again, no chance to say it.
Finally when you're given the chance to say and spill it all out, but you didn't. Instead you feel empty.
And you think quietly in your mind
"why? there was so much to say, but nothing was said?"

Sometimes, when we have so much to say, but once the urge is lost, time goes on and all is forgotten.
What could've been just didn't happen.
And what would've been just wasn't.

This was not my plan,
this was not what I want.
Now what's left is just abit of what was just abit,
just like how you're left with a few granules of sand compared to the handful you previously had.

Whatever that isn't allowed now,
can be allowed later on.
But what's the point of allowance later on,
when we know that in future we will never have the opportunity despite having allowance?

Some things happen only once.
When we miss the chance of experiencing something,
we still have the chance in future.
The similar one.
But no 2 experiences are the same.
They can be similar, but exactly same, never.

I aim for that experience,
I've targetted that very one.
If I fail to obtain it,
Similar experiences in future would just haunt me of my past failure.

Exams are next monday.
I'm done reading 3.5 chapters of econs, leaving 2.5 more to go, which is roughly 130 pages left unread.
I'm done with 1.5 topics for chem, leaving me with 6.5 topics left to cover.
I haven't started physics, nor have I touched maths&stats.
Screw M&S.

YES is on Monday, I'll have to miss the first few hours of it, but will be back for it around 4 in the evening.
Same goes with Tuesday, but I'll be back earlier this time, that is around lunch time.
Still uncertain if I should stay up as we usually do on the last night 'cause there's maths paper the next morning.

Friday night, not sure if anything is up.
Saturday, not sure either if there's anything.
Next week, is my real time to start studying. (which is unfortunately the first week of my holidays).
30th june-2nd july would be our class trip to Genting. Still uncertain if I am really going or not.
2nd July intake's orientation day, not sure if I'd want to help out.
7th is prom, err.. reluctant to go but i guess I don't have a choice.

There's no fun and any expectations met for this one month until my new semester begins.
Oh well..

Time passes by so fast.
Too fast, everything that troubled me is now forgotten.
No, it's not a good thing.
To forget unsolved troubles and problems can be said to be running away from them instead of facing them and solving them.
Time makes this an unintended action, an action which could lead to more complicated and more intricated matters in time to come.
For me it happens all the time.

There are things when given away, can never be taken back.
Things like these include words said, impressions and actions.
There's no undo button in life.
Once done, they can never be undone.
No matter how hard we try, never.

My exams are next week, sometimes I wonder if I'm satisfying my needs, my wants or my emotions.
You can't really tell if you're using purely on logic thinking instead of emotions to make decisions.
You can't really tell if what you want is what you need.
And when you don't get what you want, is it a lie to say "I'm fine with it", when you actually don't know how you're feeling about it?
Do you know your true emotions or are you just lying to yourself unknowingly about how you feel?

Food for thought.

Falling asleep and waking up with everything too silent,
It gives the feeling that this world has only one inhabitant.

It's a quarter after one,
I'm all alone and I need you now..

Sometimes, the things we say remain just as they are. Just words.
Words don't mean a thing until the deed is done, or until the action is shown.
We can say all we want, but if nothing is done, what we say is of no use at all.

I used to drink at least 1.5 litres of water within 6a.m-2p.m.
Those were the high school days.
If I still don't drink at least a glass of water each hour, I'm really gonna die young.

Sometimes we just fail to see that the thing we really need and want is so abundant everywhere around us.
Or are we just seeking for something else?

If you're just taking me for granted,
there's no point for me to be lingering around here.
Things change ever since they started,
and most beginnings just disappear.



It's more frequent now, what I'm feeling.
In terms of quantity, it is little.
But if everything is taken into consideration,
this little pain is no joking matter.
It may be of my own doings.
It might be a sign telling me
that our time is about to run out if the next few days don't go right.
In short, I stand a chance of losing you now.
Losing you just so easily.

I wished you would just speak out and share.
Not hide.

When the end comes and it is over, all is forgotten.
When the time comes, all that wasn't truly required of is gotten rid of.
When the moment arrives, the true side of us shows.
When the thought comes to mind, another thought comes into the mind to confuse it.
When the appointed time comes to pass and nothing is done, we know why it is so.
When this sentence ends, this blogpost ends.

Where'd you go?

Those care free days seem so far away now.
Almost everything today is made up of complications.

You see, the root of problems begin with stupidity.
When stupidity strikes one in the head, that person can no longer think logically or with common sense without letting emotions take over the mind.
Emotions are the reason why many people stir up drama.
Emotions are the reason why humans cannot think straight sometimes.
Emotions are the reason behind why humans do so many stupid things, regardless big or small.

I'm not trying to say emotions are not good at all, I'm trying to say that emotions have got to be controlled.
Through emotional control, the thoughts can be controlled.
With our thoughts being controlled, we can think straight and logically.
By thinking straight and logically, everything can run as smoothly as possible, even though there might be some obstacles, it is still much better than letting emotions come into effect.

However everything doesn't come down to just emotions, there are times where arrogance and ego steps in.
That is where we say if that person can't take a step lower, just buzz off.
Nobody can stand the proud and arrogant.
They can start fires they can freeze the environment.
They can start a big war, they can start a cold war.
They can do anything dramatic possible, as long as they don't step back down to everyone's level.

I dunno what I just typed.
If it will ever make sense.

Doubt.
Not about you,
but about it.

Uncertainty.
If this is true,
or just a game.
maybe I've been to serious.

Thoughts.
They go too far,
they think too simple.
Ironic and often contradictory.

Time.
Runs fast.
Spins the entire situation round and round.
And I'm thinking if it will be of any influence.

Character.
Am I seeing all?
Am I seeing the real?
Something somehow isn't quite right, or is it?

Patience.
empty, they're being recharged,
frequent flunctuations, I still wonder,
how could something infinitely long become so short.

You.
How much do I know?
what do you seek?

Me.
I fail in getting through,
but what I seek, am I at the right place?

I've been pushing myself to start studying, which I never actually do until my major exams are just round the corner.
Well, today I've been sitting here but still unable to complete my Malaysian Studies assignment.
Our folio was to be based on Mahathir and Najib.
Unfortunately, Najib was the hardest topic to finish.
It's all wordy and not interesting at all!
I'm literallly falling asleep while trying to finish the part on Najib.

I think my time is almost up.
My attention time span is really short.
reaaaally short.
For me to sit down and study or be involved in any sort of work for more than 1 hour is already.. a miracle. D:
well maybe not to that extreme, but I don't usually give attention to something for more than half an hour unless my life depends on it or unless it's something that makes my adrenaline gush through my bloodstream.

Where's my excitement?
I need to go do something like play paintball.
I know I'm really busy and hectic most of the time, but I'm bored at the same time.

Time to go.
chaoz.

It's amazing
When the happy can sound sad,
while the sad sound happy;
The lively to look dead,
while the dead look lively;
The right to sound wrong,
but the wrong to sound right;
The plight to sound like a song,
but the song to sound like a plight.
The truth to sound deceiving,
where as lies sound so convincing;
The tremors in the silence,
but peace in a storm;
To miss one in their absence,
but never appreciate their presence.
To spill out thoughts of the mind,
but the words you can never find.

I haven't been able to say what I was thinking.
I still don't know what is it.

Yes, not everything stays the same.
Everythings changing.
Things that don't matter become things that do matter,
things that matter matters more now.

I've always had around 6 hours of sleep since form 3,
never been able to find out how come it's always like that.
But if I'm sleep deprived, so be it.
I'll make use of that time to start on things I should've started a long time ago.

It's time to build up my future that I've been keeping aside all along.

I'm getting more tired day by day.
Yes, I even slept halfway during my econs test today.
Lucky I woke up in time to finish the whole paper.
Aaron was too tensed to even notice me sleeping for 10 minutes beside him. LOL.

Today was the first time for us,the exco of A-levels club, to have our own meeting by ourselves.
Honestly I've missed this feeling I felt, being involved in some group work.
I missed the old Leo days, hectic but fun somehow.
Hope we be able to make the club rise up from where it currently is.

I've been trying to avoid having to take the KTM home these days.
It's unreliable.
It's really crowded in the train (with stinky people of course), it's always late, always delayed, always slow, always frustrating.

I just realized that my semester exams are in 1 month's time, YES is also in 1 month's time, and my holidays is when everybody else is back to school.
Great..

There's statistic's test tomorrow.
I dislike my maths&stats lecturer.
Mr.Sony. (better known as Miss Sony, or Mrs Sony Viga)
He looks like a stern man, but once he starts talking and moving about the class, your first impression of him would change right away.

For not knowing and being impatient,
I jumped in when I shouldn't have.
But hearing what needed to be said,
relief filled in.
Too early for me to say,
time will tell.

Time to go do something productive like sleeping.
LOL.
Bye.

2 failures of trust,
Don't be the 3rd.

I wanted honesty and truth,
they gave me lies and hid away the truth instead.
Now if you do the same,
I have no one anymore to trust.
Never again.

Coconut or not I want my long hair! GAAAH.

Unintendedly, unknowingly, I think I've been putting my expectations too high.
I don't know how to stop this continuous change that has been going on and on.

is it even possible?

_________________________________

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me.
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me .

I've finally been into a cinema after 5 months!
Went and watch Iron Man 2.
Nothing but aweeesomeee.
Go watch it and you'll find out why.

I had a haircut today.
Really short this time.
I couldn't stand the ugliness of the previous haircut.
It was so horrible, it could even make the most retarded person with the most retarded haircut to look good.

I finally managed to explain one of the many things about me I've been so curious about but was never been able to put them into words.
I am a person of high curiousity and I truly enjoy exploring and learning new things.
But I dislike routines or having to perfect something I've done before.

It's almost the month of June now.
Responsibilities are starting to pile up, workload increasing.
I'm going to be going through hectic but boring days.

I'll wait.
Just hope it's within my capability.

Is it all so simple or is everything just complicated?

And I've forgotten all this time that we're heading off for different directions in time to come.
You, to where I've been trying to avoid.
I, to where I don't have to return back here again.

Everyday we wait,
If it takes too long,
Just tell me something new,
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone.