i think that i'm getting rather emo easily lately.
be it sitting down in front of the computer, on the way home in a cab or even sitting down in the office stoning away.
there's so many things to be emo about - achievements, careers, friendships, desires and the list goes on and on.
seriously, i've come to realise that i'm reading too much into things, details and the processes.
it's not that people around me haven't been telling me off about this, but it's just that it ain't serious to me, past and present alike.

i've been pretty caught up by the dilemma whether to up pes or not.
i'm still feeling very very damn wasted in camp pretending to be someone that i'm not.
saying 'good morning sirs' infront and having the uncontrollable urge to stab them on the back behind.
argh. i think this pretendence ain't going to last long.
everyone's still asking me to come up with bullshit reasons so that i can still remain in the vocation i am in now, even the regulars.
but i'm feeling so tired and sick of the whole ns shit.
it's draining my energy away, wasting my youth away and depriving me of the basic needs.
if things would have started the right way, i think this wouldn't happen now.

to come to think of my perceptions in the past, it's pretty much revoluntionised now.
maybe i've grown out of the childish stages of my life,
maybe i've learnt to become tougher from all the obstacles that i stumbled over,
maybe i've became more demanding than before,
or even maybe i've become more selfish than ever.

i seriously don't know what made me felt this way.
there're just too many questions unanswered, way too many.