It's Just A Number!

176.

Thanks, stupid food. Extra-sugary and excessive food.

I have several "problems":

1. I love food. Especially sugar. I have a hard time limiting my sugar intake. Very hard time. But I am not touching another piece of birthday cake. Hear me?
   
2. I think I'm invincible. "I won't gain weight if I eat this." And I don't, until I eat too much junk for several days or weeks.
3. I don't really believe that I can (i.e. want to bad enough) maintain a weight/size smaller than I am right now.

I was a size smaller (10/12) than I am right now post-Jenna/pre-Alisa, but other than that, most of my adult life I've been about the same size that I am right now (12/14). However, I'm not doing this just for my waist line (though my waist still needs some work, even if I can fit into my old pants -- ever heard of muffin top?), this is my overall health I'm focusing on. But then I can't shake the thought that I know I can be a size smaller. But then I go right back to not believing I could maintain it if I achieved it (although I maintained a 10/12 for a year before I got prego with Alisa). Or maybe it's that I think "why bother? I'm happy where I'm at."

I've also been overwhelmed for the past two weeks with surgery, Enrichment, teaching preschool, and birthday party, so I've been tired. I eat when I'm tired. I feel discouraged/depressed/apathetic when I'm tired.

I'm back. And hopefully back down again.