I'll explain my title in a minute, but first, some random funny things from Judah.
This afternoon I was in my brother's old room at my parents' house and there is an old model airplane hanging from the ceiling. Judah was looking at it and talking about it, so I said "It's flying, isn't it?" He looked at me like I was an idiot and said "No, the propellers aren't spinning." Duh, Momma. :) This is the same kid that will correct you if you dare say that a helicopter has propellers on top. They are rotors. Learn this now.
Earlier today: I knew that Jake would be working really late (It's 12:47 am now and he's still at work) and Judah and Joyanna were fussy due to no afternoon naps. They were both randomly making that whiny noise that all parents know and hate, just random whaaaa, whaa, whaaaaaa. I needed some things from Walgreens, so I packed them up and we went. I just wanted to get out of the house because a change of scenery will help both of them sometimes when they are in a blah mood. Also, if you have ever tried to get two overtired kids to nap by yourself when they are both fighting it, you might as well give up. Last Friday, I spent from 10:30 am until 3:20 pm trying to get one or the other child to go to sleep. Result: Joyanna-two decent naps but also about 2 hours of crying, Judah- no nap whatsoever and whiny and bouncing off the walls at the same time, me-I wanted to sleep the entire time and was dead tired after two hours of telling Judah to get back in bed, lay down, etc. Putting the kids down for naps always makes ME more tired then them!
Back to my story- on the way to Walgreens, Joyanna fell asleep in her infant carrier. Instead of possibly waking her to put her in my Ergo carrier (to "wear" her) I decided to let Judah ride in the child seat part of the tiny basket and just carry her carrier. It got heavy. So I balanced it sideways on the basket portion of the basket behind Judah and held it with my hand (the carrier did lock on, I was just paranoid). This goes okay until I realize that Judah has fallen asleep sitting up in the cart!! The poor kid is bobbing his head side to side and forward to backward, with no where to go to lay his head down. This won't work, so I pick him up and proceed to carry him while pushing the basket one handed. And I didn't want to just go home because I NEEDED Joyanna's reflux medicine and I already had all my coupons out that I was going to use (I got some great deals!). The cashier offered to hold him while I shopped or push the cart around for me, but I managed fine. It was quite an experience, though!! I should have brought my Ergo in and I could have carried him in it!!!
We went to visit some good friends Saturday, and Judah made a big mess. Read about it here in Suzy's own words. Hey, if you leave a cup in the tub, right by the toilet, there will be a mess! What gets me is that he has NEVER done that here, and he has even more opportunities here.
This morning, I heard Judah and Joyanna both giggling away, so I had to investigate. Joyanna is laying on the floor, and Judah has a little kitchen towel. He puts it on her head, says "Where's Joyanna?" then pulls it off and excitedly says "There she is!!!" She loved it!!
He is so good with her. He lets her crawl all over him, and when she pulls his hair (more like grabs a chunk and holds on for dear life) he just sits there and waits for her to let go (or us to rescue him) saying "We don't pull hair, Joyanna." He plays with her, and then makes sure she has "baby toys" and not "Judah toys", although he shares with her also. And she LOVES him. If she hears his name she turns to look for him, and he can make her laugh like no one else.
Well, I haven't gotten to my title yet, but it's almost 1:20 am, Jake's still at work, and I am going to bed! I have to get up in about an hour to feed Joyanna again, so Good Night!!
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Random Things-
The highlight of my Mother's Day had to be when I was giving Judah a bath and he looked and me and said "You're my favorite girl." SO precious!!
Judah is really in to whining/fussing the word "No!', as an exclamation. He says it a lot, too. One of my favorite things to do when he is is this mood (and what keeps me sane) is this: He'll be saying "No!" to everything, even stuff he likes, so I'll ask him "Are you being argumentative?" His answer of course is "No!" and it is hilarious! Makes me laugh every time, which it's good to laugh when you are being yelled at and hearing whining for long periods of time. He also LOVES to learn new (long) words, so sometimes I can get him to say "I'm being argumentative." :)
Joyanna is doing somewhat better, although I think we are just going to have to live with her cough/gagging all the time and throwing up. And last night she was up every hour, although last week she actually slept through the night (6 hours) twice! At her 4 month appointment she was 11 lb, 15 oz with a wet diaper, and I think 23 inches long. She is steadily growing, but she weighs less than Judah did at this point!! That is so hard to imagine because he was so small, but I guess the preemie formula he was on helped him start growing more. Also, she has been so sick all her life that may be part of it too. Over a month ago she was growing and was about to outgrow her 0-3 month clothes so I got out all of her 3-6 month and washed them, but they are all still way too big. She is in the 5-10th percentile for height, and 20-25th for weight.
I guess I REALLY need to go to sleep since the kids are asleep now and its almost midnight, but I wanted to share!
Judah is really in to whining/fussing the word "No!', as an exclamation. He says it a lot, too. One of my favorite things to do when he is is this mood (and what keeps me sane) is this: He'll be saying "No!" to everything, even stuff he likes, so I'll ask him "Are you being argumentative?" His answer of course is "No!" and it is hilarious! Makes me laugh every time, which it's good to laugh when you are being yelled at and hearing whining for long periods of time. He also LOVES to learn new (long) words, so sometimes I can get him to say "I'm being argumentative." :)
Joyanna is doing somewhat better, although I think we are just going to have to live with her cough/gagging all the time and throwing up. And last night she was up every hour, although last week she actually slept through the night (6 hours) twice! At her 4 month appointment she was 11 lb, 15 oz with a wet diaper, and I think 23 inches long. She is steadily growing, but she weighs less than Judah did at this point!! That is so hard to imagine because he was so small, but I guess the preemie formula he was on helped him start growing more. Also, she has been so sick all her life that may be part of it too. Over a month ago she was growing and was about to outgrow her 0-3 month clothes so I got out all of her 3-6 month and washed them, but they are all still way too big. She is in the 5-10th percentile for height, and 20-25th for weight.
I guess I REALLY need to go to sleep since the kids are asleep now and its almost midnight, but I wanted to share!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Updates on us
So I've had people asking us to update, but I'm afraid it may be a pity party. Disclaimer- when I was going through infertility before Judah I would get so mad at people who had kids and would complain about them, wanting to yell how glad I would be to give up sleep just to have a child. I am not complaining about Joyanna or Judah, I love my children dearly, I treasure them as the precious gifts from God that they are, and I would give up anything that I could for them. It is a much different situation with Joyanna, though. I am crying FOR her, not ABOUT her.
After 2 1/2 months of Joyanna screaming for 8-12 or more hours a day, we finally figured out her formula had to be the specialty stuff for her milk protein allergy. Then, we had to put her on Zantac for her reflux, (she was screaming again), but that only worked for a week or so before we had to switch her to Prevacid. That worked for about a week and then she became very sick. It was just a cold, but the congestion was terrible. Add that to reflux, and you have a very unhappy baby. She would start coughing, which would turn into a gag, and then she would throw up multiple times and then start dry heaving. We started having to feed her less formula more often so she had less to throw up. This started Friday a week ago really bad, but had been happening on and off since the beginning of April. I went on a Women's retreat overnight Friday and almost had to come home because she was so bad, crying all day without sleeping. She didn't sleep for more than 10-30 minutes at a time for the next few days, with me not getting more than 2 hours of INterrupted sleep a night either. Sunday I called the on call nurse who heard her cough and said to take her to the ER. I took her to the pediatric clinic since they were still open and they said it was just a cold and not in her lungs. By Monday she was no better, so Jake stayed home in the morning and my dad stayed with her that afternoon. Tuesday she still couldn't go to daycare, so Jake stayed with her during the morning and I came home for the afternoon, and took her to her own doctor. Wednesday my mom stayed with her. I wanted to be with her so badly (and to try to rest a little bit) but I have zero days left, so every absence costs us my entire daily rate. The half day alone was well over $100 not counting her doctors appointment and medicines. By Thursday she was getting better and sleeping occasionally, but only after usually crying for over an hour to cry herself to sleep. There were many nights that I cried along with her, wanting there to be SOMETHING that I could do to ease her pain. By this time Jake and I are both at the point where we have said that we cannot do this again. I cannot handle my child being in pain for almost all of her almost 4 months of life. I can't stand hearing the agonizing cries when I can't do anything for her, day after day and night after night. I will do ANYTHING for my child, and for Joyanna, the only thing I can do is pray for her. I keep taking her back to the doctor, and we keep trying new things, but then after a week or so something new comes up. I've had 4 months of less that 6 hours total of sleep per night on a GREAT night. It has started getting a little better now, where she will wake every 2-3 hours, but then go back to sleep instead of being awake and crying for two hours before going back to sleep. Friday night I was by myself with the kids and I had her in the bouncer with us as I was giving Judah a bath. She started crying, and even after giving her a bottle sitting on the bathroom floor, she still just screamed and screamed. I had to get Judah out and ready for bed, and nothing I could do helped her at all. I finally put her in her swing (the ONLY place she will sleep besides my arms due to her reflux, etc) and had to let her cry herself to sleep. It took 45 minutes, and I was crying with her for when I laid her down and could not get her to stop. I had to get Judah out and into bed though (his water was already cold freezing cold now). Once she finally fell asleep she slept for about 3 hours, which was great.
Then, as most of you know, about a month ago Jake was very sick for about 4 days and quarantined in our bedroom. Then, about two weeks ago he got a different viral infection, acute bronchitis, and pink eye and was quarantined out to the office for about a week. Well, Saturday he had to work all day then called me that he was very sick and couldn't come out to mom's (where I was) to celebrate my brother Matt's birthday. When he called, I lost every ounce of strength that I was holding onto. It was just me and the kids again, with her being so sick. Jake couldn't be up for more than 5 minutes all weekend before he would feel like collapsing, and had to be stuck in our room, again. He went to work today and feels better, but still has his cough. To top it all off, now I have a cough and sore throat. I pray I can keep from getting sick, because I don't know what we'll do then!
There is good new, though. A few weeks ago I asked Judah if he wanted to sleep in his big bed, the full size bunk that is in his room. He said "yes" and has been sleeping there soundly ever since. He fell out once, and when I asked what he hurt he replied "Did you hurt your butt". I don't know where he learned "butt" because I don't say that around him, but it was SOOO cute. He always says "did you" when he talks about himself, but I guess that is how adults always talk to him- "Did you have a good day today, did you play outside", etc. He has learned how to get out, but he only gets out in the morning and it has been great. He will come looking for us, but he never gets up before 6:30, which is when he has to get up anyways. If he does wake in the night, I just go in and say goodnight, then he tells me to go check on Joyanna and he falls back asleep. So adorable, and such a good brother. Now, he was a toot all weekend while Jake and Joyanna were sick, but then he had his sweet moments. And I know he was only acting up because he didn't have a nap on time on Saturday and then on Sunday he didn't get to eat at his normal time.
Okay, I really should use the time when they are both sleeping to sleep myself, but I really wanted to update. Goodnight, and we will always take prayers for our family and especially Joyanna!
After 2 1/2 months of Joyanna screaming for 8-12 or more hours a day, we finally figured out her formula had to be the specialty stuff for her milk protein allergy. Then, we had to put her on Zantac for her reflux, (she was screaming again), but that only worked for a week or so before we had to switch her to Prevacid. That worked for about a week and then she became very sick. It was just a cold, but the congestion was terrible. Add that to reflux, and you have a very unhappy baby. She would start coughing, which would turn into a gag, and then she would throw up multiple times and then start dry heaving. We started having to feed her less formula more often so she had less to throw up. This started Friday a week ago really bad, but had been happening on and off since the beginning of April. I went on a Women's retreat overnight Friday and almost had to come home because she was so bad, crying all day without sleeping. She didn't sleep for more than 10-30 minutes at a time for the next few days, with me not getting more than 2 hours of INterrupted sleep a night either. Sunday I called the on call nurse who heard her cough and said to take her to the ER. I took her to the pediatric clinic since they were still open and they said it was just a cold and not in her lungs. By Monday she was no better, so Jake stayed home in the morning and my dad stayed with her that afternoon. Tuesday she still couldn't go to daycare, so Jake stayed with her during the morning and I came home for the afternoon, and took her to her own doctor. Wednesday my mom stayed with her. I wanted to be with her so badly (and to try to rest a little bit) but I have zero days left, so every absence costs us my entire daily rate. The half day alone was well over $100 not counting her doctors appointment and medicines. By Thursday she was getting better and sleeping occasionally, but only after usually crying for over an hour to cry herself to sleep. There were many nights that I cried along with her, wanting there to be SOMETHING that I could do to ease her pain. By this time Jake and I are both at the point where we have said that we cannot do this again. I cannot handle my child being in pain for almost all of her almost 4 months of life. I can't stand hearing the agonizing cries when I can't do anything for her, day after day and night after night. I will do ANYTHING for my child, and for Joyanna, the only thing I can do is pray for her. I keep taking her back to the doctor, and we keep trying new things, but then after a week or so something new comes up. I've had 4 months of less that 6 hours total of sleep per night on a GREAT night. It has started getting a little better now, where she will wake every 2-3 hours, but then go back to sleep instead of being awake and crying for two hours before going back to sleep. Friday night I was by myself with the kids and I had her in the bouncer with us as I was giving Judah a bath. She started crying, and even after giving her a bottle sitting on the bathroom floor, she still just screamed and screamed. I had to get Judah out and ready for bed, and nothing I could do helped her at all. I finally put her in her swing (the ONLY place she will sleep besides my arms due to her reflux, etc) and had to let her cry herself to sleep. It took 45 minutes, and I was crying with her for when I laid her down and could not get her to stop. I had to get Judah out and into bed though (his water was already cold freezing cold now). Once she finally fell asleep she slept for about 3 hours, which was great.
Then, as most of you know, about a month ago Jake was very sick for about 4 days and quarantined in our bedroom. Then, about two weeks ago he got a different viral infection, acute bronchitis, and pink eye and was quarantined out to the office for about a week. Well, Saturday he had to work all day then called me that he was very sick and couldn't come out to mom's (where I was) to celebrate my brother Matt's birthday. When he called, I lost every ounce of strength that I was holding onto. It was just me and the kids again, with her being so sick. Jake couldn't be up for more than 5 minutes all weekend before he would feel like collapsing, and had to be stuck in our room, again. He went to work today and feels better, but still has his cough. To top it all off, now I have a cough and sore throat. I pray I can keep from getting sick, because I don't know what we'll do then!
There is good new, though. A few weeks ago I asked Judah if he wanted to sleep in his big bed, the full size bunk that is in his room. He said "yes" and has been sleeping there soundly ever since. He fell out once, and when I asked what he hurt he replied "Did you hurt your butt". I don't know where he learned "butt" because I don't say that around him, but it was SOOO cute. He always says "did you" when he talks about himself, but I guess that is how adults always talk to him- "Did you have a good day today, did you play outside", etc. He has learned how to get out, but he only gets out in the morning and it has been great. He will come looking for us, but he never gets up before 6:30, which is when he has to get up anyways. If he does wake in the night, I just go in and say goodnight, then he tells me to go check on Joyanna and he falls back asleep. So adorable, and such a good brother. Now, he was a toot all weekend while Jake and Joyanna were sick, but then he had his sweet moments. And I know he was only acting up because he didn't have a nap on time on Saturday and then on Sunday he didn't get to eat at his normal time.
Okay, I really should use the time when they are both sleeping to sleep myself, but I really wanted to update. Goodnight, and we will always take prayers for our family and especially Joyanna!
Thursday, April 08, 2010
HELP! HELP!
Ok, now that I have your attention. I am sick and under STRICT doctors orders to not be around other people. While some may think "YAY! Vacation!" (And I did seriously consider camping :) This also means that I cant help Deanna out with the kids. Not to mention that I can't be with my kids, I am really bummed about that.
So, if anyone is free any time this weekend please have pity on my poor overworked significantly better other half by taking some time to help her with anything you can :(
Ken, Debbie: I know you have plans and you both help us out so much already please do not change your plans at all. You deserve to go have some fun.
Poppa, Glenda: We understand that you also have plans, and we appreciate everything you both do for us too so please don't change your plans.
To the rest of our friends and family, if you WANT to (please do not feel obligated) I would appreciate it if some of you could just hang out with Deanna some this weekend while I am sequestered / quarantined. This is vary hard on Deanna, but she is really being magnanimous throughout it all.
Deanna: I love you very much, I will try to make it up to you somehow... please know that you don't have to go and get sick like me in order to make me pay you back...maybe a nice letter and a box of chocolates instead : )
Ok, let the healing meditation begin! (A.K.A. intense computer gaming)
So, if anyone is free any time this weekend please have pity on my poor overworked significantly better other half by taking some time to help her with anything you can :(
Ken, Debbie: I know you have plans and you both help us out so much already please do not change your plans at all. You deserve to go have some fun.
Poppa, Glenda: We understand that you also have plans, and we appreciate everything you both do for us too so please don't change your plans.
To the rest of our friends and family, if you WANT to (please do not feel obligated) I would appreciate it if some of you could just hang out with Deanna some this weekend while I am sequestered / quarantined. This is vary hard on Deanna, but she is really being magnanimous throughout it all.
Deanna: I love you very much, I will try to make it up to you somehow... please know that you don't have to go and get sick like me in order to make me pay you back...maybe a nice letter and a box of chocolates instead : )
Ok, let the healing meditation begin! (A.K.A. intense computer gaming)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Well, we thought we had it figured out...
We had one we when Joyanna was on the Similac Alimentum ready to feed that was wonderful. Smiling, not crying, sleeping, etc. She was doing so well, so we bought Similac Alimentum powder. Same stuff, right? Apparently not. As the last week went by and she was on the powder, her episodes of crying became more and more frequent. So we switched back to the ready to feed late Friday night, and we pray this will help. It hasn't really yet, she cried on and off all day yesterday and overnight, but then she's only had one long crying spell today so far. She may still need the reflux meds, I just don't know. And while the powder was horribly expensive, Ready to Feed is even more so. We figured up that it will cost us about $8 a day if I can manage to find it on sale, $10 a day if not. And I had already labeled two cans of powder with her name for daycare so they cannot be returned, as well as bought all kinds of things for home and daycare to have filtered water and well mixed bottles. I guess we'll keep it all and see. If she gets put on reflux meds, then she may be able to use the powder, I just don't know yet.
I go back to work tomorrow, and I am not really looking forward to it. I will miss her so much, and we still aren't getting much sleep around here. I am worried that she will cry all day and they won't be able to comfort her (not that I can when she's in pain, either) and that they won't have the patience to just keep holding her and trying to soothe her. I know they are great with kids and are excited to have her, and I let them know well in advance of her allergy, reflux, and colic.
Last night Jake left for Houston with Matt and Kristen to go to a Helicopter convention, so mom stayed with me. I appreciate her so much!! She took care of Joyanna all night so I could sleep, although there was no way I could sleep when Joyanna was crying from about 1 am to 4 am. I want to go comfort her, but I know nothing I do will help anymore than what she is doing.
To top it all off, I am sick!! I will start work tomorrow with almost no voice and a cough and congestion. My allergies are kicking my butt! I went to the doctor already but they didn't do anything. There are very few medicines I can take since I am on blood pressure medicine ever since having pre-eclampsia with Judah. All of us are having allergy issues, including Judah, and Joyanna even sounds a little congested. Pray for health and strength and healing for all of us!!
I go back to work tomorrow, and I am not really looking forward to it. I will miss her so much, and we still aren't getting much sleep around here. I am worried that she will cry all day and they won't be able to comfort her (not that I can when she's in pain, either) and that they won't have the patience to just keep holding her and trying to soothe her. I know they are great with kids and are excited to have her, and I let them know well in advance of her allergy, reflux, and colic.
Last night Jake left for Houston with Matt and Kristen to go to a Helicopter convention, so mom stayed with me. I appreciate her so much!! She took care of Joyanna all night so I could sleep, although there was no way I could sleep when Joyanna was crying from about 1 am to 4 am. I want to go comfort her, but I know nothing I do will help anymore than what she is doing.
To top it all off, I am sick!! I will start work tomorrow with almost no voice and a cough and congestion. My allergies are kicking my butt! I went to the doctor already but they didn't do anything. There are very few medicines I can take since I am on blood pressure medicine ever since having pre-eclampsia with Judah. All of us are having allergy issues, including Judah, and Joyanna even sounds a little congested. Pray for health and strength and healing for all of us!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Judged Rant (May be TMI)- and an Update
If you follow Facebook or talk to me at all, then you probably know that we are on Joyanna's 3rd Pediatrician and 4th type of formula. Because we have had so many problems it has become public knowledge that she is on formula instead of breastmilk, which has opened me up to many dirty looks and comments. Just the other day a TEENAGE BOY told me that NO formula is good for babies, they need to be breastfed. Ummm, excuse me? What do you know and why are you judging me?!?! I KNOW that breastmilk is best for babies and you have NO IDEA what we have been through. I have had enough feelings of guilt on my own for not being able to feed my children without formula. I have gotten so many bad looks when I make a formula bottle, and so many people have said things about how breastfeeding is better, and she wouldn't cry as much, wouldn't have colic, wouldn't have reflux or a milk allergy, etc. We have made the decisions that we have been forced to make and that are best for our child. End of discussion.
With Judah, he never learned the correct suck because he was so small and an IUGR baby(look it up), and I did not produce enough milk. I had to use a nipple sheild just for him to be able to latch, and I worked with lactation consultants constantly and took fenugreek and blessed thistle to increase my supply. I would nurse him and then give him a formula bottle everytime I fed him, and then pumped what little I could at work. This went on until he just refused to nurse at four months old, and then he went to straight formula. There were tears and high stress levels because I wanted to nurse but also wanted what was best for him, IE not to starve!
Skip ahead to Joyanna. The first time I nursed her she latched right on. Jake and I were so happy, he because he knew how much it stressed me that Judah hadn't been able to nurse. It was going okay until that first night and the next day while we were still in the hospital. Joyanna was always hungry, always wanting to suck, and we didn't know what the problem was. When nursing you shouldn't use the pacifier right away, and we tried not to, but she just cried and cried. Then we realized she wasn't peeing or pooping which means she was starving and not getting enough. I worked with the lactation consultants more than once and asked the nurses so many questions, hoping to get it figured out before we left the hospital. We ended up having to supplement before we left because she just was not getting enough. I cried and already felt like a failure all over again. There were so many things (pacifier, supplementing) that I knew decreased the chances of breastfeeding but we HAD to do. Jake and the nurses tried to comfort me that this was best for her because otherwise she was literally starving. Over the next two days I would nurse constantly trying to increase supply and keep her fed and called "veteran" moms and breastfeeding advoctes and the lactation consultants multiple times. The LC told us to supplement every other feeding and to pump.
At her two day check up, Joyanna only weighed 5 lb 14 oz, down from a birthweight of 6 lb 10 oz. She was not getting enough, even supplementing. They told us we HAD to do something. I worked more with the LC, but was told to nurse then bottle feed every time, and I was back to using the nipple sheild. We had to come back two days later to see how she was doing. At this point, she had gained weight because she was getting formula every time, but the LC said "We won't give up QUITE yet on breastfeeding..." and asked me to come back in a few days to weigh her again. When we came back, still having the same problems, she told me that I had done everythign possible and to just give her formula and enjoy my baby.
I continued to nurse about three weeks after that point, past when she turned 1 month. Some days I would nurse her for 4 hour stretches, but as soon as I stopped she would cry and scream for a bottle. No matter how much I nursed, she was still hungry. I tried to pump, but by this time she was also starting to be colicky, and had to be held. I could either pump or hold my crying child who was in pain, and I chose to hold her. Right before her 1 month checkup, her colic reached a new high. She would eat, then cry and scream for two hours in pain, eat again, cry again, etc, for 6-8 hour stretches. You could tell that her stomach was hurting her, and there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. I called her doctor and he put her on sensitive formula. Around this time I stopped nursing also. She wasn't getting enough, was becoming less and less comforted and interested in it, and I didn't want that to be making her be in pain if she had an allergy to milk. If I was nursing exclusively or even if she was getting half of her nutrition from me, I would have gladly changed my diet and done whatever it took for her, but with her getting such a miniscile amount from me, it was a decision that was made for me. It was not a decision made without tears and feelings of guilt and shame, though. Know that. I don't formula feed because it is easier, it isn't and hasn't been. Water type, water temp, packing everything along, washing every bottle every night, the COST, etc. This is not what I wanted but it is what is BEST FOR MY CHILD and THE ONLY WAY SHE WILL NOT STARVE.
The sensitive formula helped for a week or so, then all the symptoms came back. She also has the symptoms of Silent Reflux, where instead of spitting up they swallow it back down and it hurts again. She was always acting hungry (because drinking feels good on their throats), choking and gagging, refusing to lay flat or sleep any without being held up against our chests. Her doctor kept saying, no, not reflux. I called again and he switched her to Soy, still saying no reflux, even though she has almost ALL the symptoms of Silent reflux. I also asked him about Alimentum, and he said no, he'd try some medication before that. (Not reflux meds) I have had some issues with some things he's done before with Judah and with me (he's a family doctor, not a pediatrician). Jake and I talked about changing doctors before she was born, but it was a fear of the unknown versus knowing some problems.
The first few days of the Soy formula were great. We were actually able to put her down in a bouncy seat for about 15 minutes one day without her screaming, and this was amazing!! It was the first time since she'd been born, and she was over a month old! But then the crying came back. She would go all day long, 8 hour stretches, of never sleeping more than 10-15 minutes at a time. I would hold and rock, swaddle, shh, swing, etc for hours, going through a routine of everything I could think of. I would finally get her settled and then she would have a gas bubble or something and wake up crying again, and we would go through the whole routine again. This happened day and night. We had still never gotten more than two hours of sleep at a time, and that was only if she fell asleep eating. She might go four hours without eating, but that was two hours of crying and two hours of sleeping. I spent every night sitting up in bed holding her since she was born because you could NOT lay her down after eating or the gas and everything would get so much worse and we wouldn't get ANY sleep. In four days I got 8 ours of sleep total. We went 1 week on Soy, then I took her to a pediatrician that a friend's daughter uses. Both sets of our parents had finally seen how much she cried, how she was in pain, and how nothing we did helped. People started believing us that this really wasn't normal, something was wrong. We were not exaggerating, she was not crying like a normal baby.
The pediatrician seemed very uncomfortable that he was not her doctor, but he put her on Alimentum. This formula change has been AMAZING. We have been able to let her sleep in her swing, both at night and during the day. At night, she sometimes sleeps 4 hour stretches!! Last week, at 6 weeks old, was the first time that she would be awake and just looking around, not crying! We can see her eyes more now, and she is just so much happier. She still has a lot of gas and pain from it, but this formula lets her pass gas instead of it all being in her, constantly hurting her. Sometimes she will still be fussy for hours long stretches because of the gas, but she is easier to calm and it is much less often (once a day usually versus every other feeding or more). Alimentum stinks like crazy and is crazy expensive, but it is worth every penny for my child to not be in pain.
I go back to work this coming Monday, and I wanted to make sure that we have everything pretty much settled before she starts daycare. I also wanted to get a new pediatrician before her two month appointment. After some asking around, the overwhelming majority suggested 1 doctor in particular, so I went to see her. She said that this is the right formula for Joyanna, it seems to be working and she is growing strong, now over 9 lbs! She said that she DOES have reflux, but the Alimentum may take care of it. If she is still having problems at her 2 month appointment, she will put her on the reflux medication, but we pray she doesn't have to. I LOVE this new doctor, and she is now Judah and Joyanna's pediatrician. It is so weird for me to not go to Scott and White, but with my new insurance I can go anywhere.
Bless you if you are still reading this, it turned out way longer than I planned. Words of wisdom- don't judge me as I bottle feed my child, and when you know something is wrong with your child, keep at it until you find out what it is!!!
With Judah, he never learned the correct suck because he was so small and an IUGR baby(look it up), and I did not produce enough milk. I had to use a nipple sheild just for him to be able to latch, and I worked with lactation consultants constantly and took fenugreek and blessed thistle to increase my supply. I would nurse him and then give him a formula bottle everytime I fed him, and then pumped what little I could at work. This went on until he just refused to nurse at four months old, and then he went to straight formula. There were tears and high stress levels because I wanted to nurse but also wanted what was best for him, IE not to starve!
Skip ahead to Joyanna. The first time I nursed her she latched right on. Jake and I were so happy, he because he knew how much it stressed me that Judah hadn't been able to nurse. It was going okay until that first night and the next day while we were still in the hospital. Joyanna was always hungry, always wanting to suck, and we didn't know what the problem was. When nursing you shouldn't use the pacifier right away, and we tried not to, but she just cried and cried. Then we realized she wasn't peeing or pooping which means she was starving and not getting enough. I worked with the lactation consultants more than once and asked the nurses so many questions, hoping to get it figured out before we left the hospital. We ended up having to supplement before we left because she just was not getting enough. I cried and already felt like a failure all over again. There were so many things (pacifier, supplementing) that I knew decreased the chances of breastfeeding but we HAD to do. Jake and the nurses tried to comfort me that this was best for her because otherwise she was literally starving. Over the next two days I would nurse constantly trying to increase supply and keep her fed and called "veteran" moms and breastfeeding advoctes and the lactation consultants multiple times. The LC told us to supplement every other feeding and to pump.
At her two day check up, Joyanna only weighed 5 lb 14 oz, down from a birthweight of 6 lb 10 oz. She was not getting enough, even supplementing. They told us we HAD to do something. I worked more with the LC, but was told to nurse then bottle feed every time, and I was back to using the nipple sheild. We had to come back two days later to see how she was doing. At this point, she had gained weight because she was getting formula every time, but the LC said "We won't give up QUITE yet on breastfeeding..." and asked me to come back in a few days to weigh her again. When we came back, still having the same problems, she told me that I had done everythign possible and to just give her formula and enjoy my baby.
I continued to nurse about three weeks after that point, past when she turned 1 month. Some days I would nurse her for 4 hour stretches, but as soon as I stopped she would cry and scream for a bottle. No matter how much I nursed, she was still hungry. I tried to pump, but by this time she was also starting to be colicky, and had to be held. I could either pump or hold my crying child who was in pain, and I chose to hold her. Right before her 1 month checkup, her colic reached a new high. She would eat, then cry and scream for two hours in pain, eat again, cry again, etc, for 6-8 hour stretches. You could tell that her stomach was hurting her, and there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. I called her doctor and he put her on sensitive formula. Around this time I stopped nursing also. She wasn't getting enough, was becoming less and less comforted and interested in it, and I didn't want that to be making her be in pain if she had an allergy to milk. If I was nursing exclusively or even if she was getting half of her nutrition from me, I would have gladly changed my diet and done whatever it took for her, but with her getting such a miniscile amount from me, it was a decision that was made for me. It was not a decision made without tears and feelings of guilt and shame, though. Know that. I don't formula feed because it is easier, it isn't and hasn't been. Water type, water temp, packing everything along, washing every bottle every night, the COST, etc. This is not what I wanted but it is what is BEST FOR MY CHILD and THE ONLY WAY SHE WILL NOT STARVE.
The sensitive formula helped for a week or so, then all the symptoms came back. She also has the symptoms of Silent Reflux, where instead of spitting up they swallow it back down and it hurts again. She was always acting hungry (because drinking feels good on their throats), choking and gagging, refusing to lay flat or sleep any without being held up against our chests. Her doctor kept saying, no, not reflux. I called again and he switched her to Soy, still saying no reflux, even though she has almost ALL the symptoms of Silent reflux. I also asked him about Alimentum, and he said no, he'd try some medication before that. (Not reflux meds) I have had some issues with some things he's done before with Judah and with me (he's a family doctor, not a pediatrician). Jake and I talked about changing doctors before she was born, but it was a fear of the unknown versus knowing some problems.
The first few days of the Soy formula were great. We were actually able to put her down in a bouncy seat for about 15 minutes one day without her screaming, and this was amazing!! It was the first time since she'd been born, and she was over a month old! But then the crying came back. She would go all day long, 8 hour stretches, of never sleeping more than 10-15 minutes at a time. I would hold and rock, swaddle, shh, swing, etc for hours, going through a routine of everything I could think of. I would finally get her settled and then she would have a gas bubble or something and wake up crying again, and we would go through the whole routine again. This happened day and night. We had still never gotten more than two hours of sleep at a time, and that was only if she fell asleep eating. She might go four hours without eating, but that was two hours of crying and two hours of sleeping. I spent every night sitting up in bed holding her since she was born because you could NOT lay her down after eating or the gas and everything would get so much worse and we wouldn't get ANY sleep. In four days I got 8 ours of sleep total. We went 1 week on Soy, then I took her to a pediatrician that a friend's daughter uses. Both sets of our parents had finally seen how much she cried, how she was in pain, and how nothing we did helped. People started believing us that this really wasn't normal, something was wrong. We were not exaggerating, she was not crying like a normal baby.
The pediatrician seemed very uncomfortable that he was not her doctor, but he put her on Alimentum. This formula change has been AMAZING. We have been able to let her sleep in her swing, both at night and during the day. At night, she sometimes sleeps 4 hour stretches!! Last week, at 6 weeks old, was the first time that she would be awake and just looking around, not crying! We can see her eyes more now, and she is just so much happier. She still has a lot of gas and pain from it, but this formula lets her pass gas instead of it all being in her, constantly hurting her. Sometimes she will still be fussy for hours long stretches because of the gas, but she is easier to calm and it is much less often (once a day usually versus every other feeding or more). Alimentum stinks like crazy and is crazy expensive, but it is worth every penny for my child to not be in pain.
I go back to work this coming Monday, and I wanted to make sure that we have everything pretty much settled before she starts daycare. I also wanted to get a new pediatrician before her two month appointment. After some asking around, the overwhelming majority suggested 1 doctor in particular, so I went to see her. She said that this is the right formula for Joyanna, it seems to be working and she is growing strong, now over 9 lbs! She said that she DOES have reflux, but the Alimentum may take care of it. If she is still having problems at her 2 month appointment, she will put her on the reflux medication, but we pray she doesn't have to. I LOVE this new doctor, and she is now Judah and Joyanna's pediatrician. It is so weird for me to not go to Scott and White, but with my new insurance I can go anywhere.
Bless you if you are still reading this, it turned out way longer than I planned. Words of wisdom- don't judge me as I bottle feed my child, and when you know something is wrong with your child, keep at it until you find out what it is!!!
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Yesterday, I picked up Judah before Jake got off work, so Judah, Joyanna, and I were home. I was feeding Joyanna in the living room and heard Judah making noise in the kitchen. I couldn't see what he was doing and couldn't get up, so I just called for him and he came to play in the living room with us. Later, Jake comes home, walks into the kitchen, and asks, "Did you see what he did in here?!?! Come look!" So when I thought Judah had been unloading the clean dishes from the dishwasher and reeking havoc, (he had come out with a spoon earlier), this is what he actually did...
He took all of his letters off the fridge (the noises I heard) and organized them by color!! This is what he was doing for fun! :) You can see that he even lined up the blue and the red, and probably would have done the others if I hadn't made him come out of the kitchen. He does know all of his letters, and can tell you what sound each one makes. He loves for us to tell him what letter different names and words start with. The kid just LOVES to LEARN!!
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Handy Manny
Soooo, I took the family to the hospital this morning for a follow up appointment with the new baby. Whilst Deanna was talking to the nurse and such little man and I were relegated to the comfortable but not opulent waiting lounge.
Being the TV addict I am, I was naturally drawn to the 23" LCD TV so tantalizingly hung in the corner of the room. Thusly I was exposed to my first episode of two shows, I found them both to be hilarious, however the reasons were complete polar opposites of one another.
Firstly was Phineas and Ferb. This is a fast, witty, and clever show that is fun for the kids because its a cartoon, however it appeals to older audiences because much of the humor is WAY above the heads of any children. Some of the jokes refer to abstract concepts and much of it is satire mixed with sarcasm. It was a very good show, I intend to watch more.
Secondly was Handy Manny. This show is purely for children, it has absolutely no adult value except to allow you to plop down a child into its captivating aura for thirty minutes. Children find it fascinating due to the fact that it is 1) A cartoon, and 2) The tools are alive and talk, which I find extremely irritating. If my hammer refused to do its job of pounding nails because its feelings were hurt, I would promptly find a way to kill it.
I know, I know "Why so harsh" you ask. Well, for those of you who have NOT seen the 80's hit Maximum Overdrive my reasoning may not be immediately clear. Suffice it to say a hammer with feelings may not always have such a benevolent attitude toward its owner. Combine this with its displayed leaning toward insubordination and you have the motive and ability to wake up to you hammer "mistaking" your head for a nail with which it apparently has some deep and troubling quarrel.
Though the talking tools did provide me with a wistful five minutes of what-if scenarios, detailing exactly what I would do if my tools were as moody and chatty as the ones our friend Manny owns (incidentally very little of which should EVER been seen by children) I was continuously and increasingly distracted from my revelry by something I kept noticing throughout the program.
It is obvious that the goal of this program is two fold, A) teach the viewer Spanish and Spanish culture and B) show how teamwork is beneficial. Now it should be stated that I have absolutely no issues with either of these goals. In my locale we have a large population of Mexican-Americans so I am about as well versed in their culture as any pasty white boy on the outside of their culture can be. Some of the things my neighbors do seem strange to me, like BBQ outside in the freezing rain at 3AM. But, their not hurting anyone so no problems here.
Please remember your history and culture, people who do not are doomed to a future stripped of any since of identity within their cultural group. So by all means keep your history alive, so long as you also remember where you are today and on whose backs and with who's blood the freedoms and opportunities you are now enjoying were made possible. But I digress.
What struck me as funny about Handy Manny was the fact that Manny is a handy man. Yes, hence the name of the show, I know. However this is a common stereo type and it struck me as odd that they would embrace this instead of skirt it. Another aspect is the demographics of Manny's neighborhood. The people in Manny's ...town? ... village? ... (well just go with neighborhood) are predominantly Hispanic, they are not poor nor are they rich. They are portrayed as normal, what one would call middle class people. This is NOT what struck me, what WAS interesting to me was the one white guy in town (that I saw) was portrayed as smug, rich, and inept. I also noticed that there wasn't a single black person either ... where was the ACLU on that one?
Maybe this is all too much to read into a simple child's show. Maybe I noticed something that wasn't there due to my intense dislike of anti-Americanism that so often is thinly veiled as multiculturalism.
It should be noted that this is the only episode of the Handy Manny show I have ever seen, and that I am not passing judgement on this show. I am simply sharing what I found as interesting. I will probably not be watching any more Handy Manny, not due to any racial overtones (because I don't believe there are any) but due to the fact that I hate his neurotic little tools and fear that they will haunt my dreams. No, thank you but I will keep my Phineas and Ferb. They may have a platypus for a pet but at least he doesn't talk ... AND HE IS A SPY! How awesome is THAT!
Saturday, January 02, 2010
And we're back!
Hello to all you ladies and gentlemen out there in blog land!
After a brief hiatus (brief being about 2 years) we are back ... or at least I am. Deanna has sporadically updated this blog for a while but now I am endeavoring to update it on some semblance of a schedule. Whether that means every other day or twice a week or what still remains to be seen, but as part of my new years resolution I will attempt to post something here on a regular basis.
So without further adieu ...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Joyanna Brooke
She's here! And for those of you who saw pictures on facebook the same day, it was all Jake. :) Of course, I wanted him to, but he's the one who did in from the hospital room.
She was delivered by csection, and delivered by a friend from high school. We didn't know that until right before, but its kind of neat. :) Before Monday, we had said that God's will, whatever was best for Joyanna and I in terms of delivering or having a csection. I had wanted to deliver, but if I didn't by the 28th, then csection. Turns out God knows best: my uterus had a very weak area from my last csection, and if I had delivered there is a good chance it would have ruptured. Praise God that Joyanna and I are both safe and healthy, especially since we were so worried about her size earlier in the pregnancy. My recovery from this csection has been much faster than with Judah, although I still have to take it slow for a while. Jake says I was moving around as much the first night home this time as I was a week later with Judah. It is so hard to not pick him up and hold him, though.
Judah has been really good. When we came home from the hospital, Judah was napping. When he woke up, Jake got him and said "Judah, I want to show you something" and led him to the living room where Joyanna was laying in her cradle swing. Judah smiled and said "Baby sister is in baby sister's swing." He is very matter of fact about it, but he gets a huge smile on his face when he sees her and can tell us what she is doing. He is in the habit of throwing toys right now, so we really have to watch him with that, but he has been really great.
Since we kept the name a secret, we haven't hd a chance to share where her name came from. Jake's grandmother's name was Joy, and my name has "anna" along with "Ann" being the middle name of both my mom and paternal grandmother. So her first name is a family name, along with the Anna in the Bible. And yes, it is an actual name listed on many baby name websites. :) For her middle name, we didn't decide that until the night before she was born. We wanted something simple, and we liked the way Joyanna Brooke sounded. There were so many other names we liked, too, but we know so many people with those names, and me being a teacher rules out so many. :)
I keep forgetting that it is New Year's Eve, its a whole new world for us now anyway. (Although hearing the illegal fireworks is a reminder right now).
She was delivered by csection, and delivered by a friend from high school. We didn't know that until right before, but its kind of neat. :) Before Monday, we had said that God's will, whatever was best for Joyanna and I in terms of delivering or having a csection. I had wanted to deliver, but if I didn't by the 28th, then csection. Turns out God knows best: my uterus had a very weak area from my last csection, and if I had delivered there is a good chance it would have ruptured. Praise God that Joyanna and I are both safe and healthy, especially since we were so worried about her size earlier in the pregnancy. My recovery from this csection has been much faster than with Judah, although I still have to take it slow for a while. Jake says I was moving around as much the first night home this time as I was a week later with Judah. It is so hard to not pick him up and hold him, though.
Judah has been really good. When we came home from the hospital, Judah was napping. When he woke up, Jake got him and said "Judah, I want to show you something" and led him to the living room where Joyanna was laying in her cradle swing. Judah smiled and said "Baby sister is in baby sister's swing." He is very matter of fact about it, but he gets a huge smile on his face when he sees her and can tell us what she is doing. He is in the habit of throwing toys right now, so we really have to watch him with that, but he has been really great.
Since we kept the name a secret, we haven't hd a chance to share where her name came from. Jake's grandmother's name was Joy, and my name has "anna" along with "Ann" being the middle name of both my mom and paternal grandmother. So her first name is a family name, along with the Anna in the Bible. And yes, it is an actual name listed on many baby name websites. :) For her middle name, we didn't decide that until the night before she was born. We wanted something simple, and we liked the way Joyanna Brooke sounded. There were so many other names we liked, too, but we know so many people with those names, and me being a teacher rules out so many. :)
I keep forgetting that it is New Year's Eve, its a whole new world for us now anyway. (Although hearing the illegal fireworks is a reminder right now).
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