NOBODY OWES ME ANYTHING
I OWE NO ONE NO SHIT
Thursday, 29 November 2007
Treasure them... Treasure myself....
I'm learning to be nice to people around me. People whom i love and people who loves me. But it seemed so hard to be nice to them...
Not that i'm not nice to them, but i'm always very impatient. I try to take a deep breath nowadays, before i throw tanthrums. But i'll always end up going crazy...
I'll continue to try to be nice to the people who deserves my love. For those who dun deserve it, i'll try to divert my attention to somewhere else. After all, i won't be able to love anybody when i dun treasure myself...
Not that i'm not nice to them, but i'm always very impatient. I try to take a deep breath nowadays, before i throw tanthrums. But i'll always end up going crazy...
I'll continue to try to be nice to the people who deserves my love. For those who dun deserve it, i'll try to divert my attention to somewhere else. After all, i won't be able to love anybody when i dun treasure myself...
Tuesday, 27 November 2007
It's Party Time...
Finally after almost 2 months, i went clubbing with some frens again. Have not been drinking and going out with them for quite a while previously cos i was on the diet pills, and that stopped me from drinking, thus no drinking, no clubbing. Had a very tight roster since i came back from singapore, so can't help but to go out with them to relax a bit.
We had a Pre-Party session at one of their accomodation. Played some card games and started drinking at his place. I had a whole lots of Baileys that got me into an upset stomach. I didn't even become high at all, and i started having pain and eventually when i reached the club, i puked... twice..... *Loser*
And that was the end of my drinking session for the day. So i was sat in the club, looking at how these people degrade themselves. Getting themselves incredibly drunk, dancing dirty dances with girls that they barely know, getting free drinks from gay guys *OMG*...
To a point when one of my fren got super duper drunk, from the free drinks he got from a gay guy, and couldn't even walk properly, so he was chased out of the club by the security before he make any scene. The rest of the guys were happily hugging some stewardesses from SQ, thus did not bother about the guy being kicked out, so i had to take care of him.
I had no choice when he dragged me straight into a cab and went back to his accomodation. I didn't even have time to tell the rest, but i guess they won't bother anyway. Tried calling them, but no one picked up their phones. I was pissed.
And as usual, the way these guys always disappoint me. My dear drunkard fren tried to treat me like one of the girls in the club. That's why i hate guys to treat me like a girl. When they do, they try to take advantage of you. I reckon that i'm a loyal fren, and i dun like them to treat me like that, becos i am supposed to be "A Friend", nothing more than that.
Anyway, nothing happened. He's too drunk to do anything, and i got some guys i met at the lobby to bring him up to his room. The moral of the story is: Never be a friend of a Drunkard Guy. Cos they are jerks......
We had a Pre-Party session at one of their accomodation. Played some card games and started drinking at his place. I had a whole lots of Baileys that got me into an upset stomach. I didn't even become high at all, and i started having pain and eventually when i reached the club, i puked... twice..... *Loser*
And that was the end of my drinking session for the day. So i was sat in the club, looking at how these people degrade themselves. Getting themselves incredibly drunk, dancing dirty dances with girls that they barely know, getting free drinks from gay guys *OMG*...
To a point when one of my fren got super duper drunk, from the free drinks he got from a gay guy, and couldn't even walk properly, so he was chased out of the club by the security before he make any scene. The rest of the guys were happily hugging some stewardesses from SQ, thus did not bother about the guy being kicked out, so i had to take care of him.
I had no choice when he dragged me straight into a cab and went back to his accomodation. I didn't even have time to tell the rest, but i guess they won't bother anyway. Tried calling them, but no one picked up their phones. I was pissed.
And as usual, the way these guys always disappoint me. My dear drunkard fren tried to treat me like one of the girls in the club. That's why i hate guys to treat me like a girl. When they do, they try to take advantage of you. I reckon that i'm a loyal fren, and i dun like them to treat me like that, becos i am supposed to be "A Friend", nothing more than that.
Anyway, nothing happened. He's too drunk to do anything, and i got some guys i met at the lobby to bring him up to his room. The moral of the story is: Never be a friend of a Drunkard Guy. Cos they are jerks......
Friday, 23 November 2007
How i'm feeling right now....
My arms are itching badly since i came back from singapore. There're around 24 bumps on my left arms and 5 on my right, they look like rashes, but i dunno wat exactly it is. It's disgusting and i feel sick looking at it... Some people say it's rashes, some say i was bitten by bed bug, some say it's chicken-pox....
I feel extremely dreamy right now, with a mixture of feelings and everything seems to be floating....
I feel extremely tired with a very heavy head even after taking panadols 3 hrs ago....
I feel very sleepy, but i can't sleep....
Overall, i feel like shit physically and mentally.....
Sunday, 18 November 2007
Home Sweet Home...
This blog is supposed to be a full page of the things i've done during my stay in singapore, but my horrible PC at home performed magic and made all that i've typed disappeared.. As usual, the lousy, laggy PC that always hang. So now i've edited the "Home Sweet Home" edition of my blog....
I had a pleasant stay in singapore. Nothing much happened, except that Mr Peng n i did a lot of shopping, Expensive shopping. Bought stuff like my Sony T20 n he got his PSP, etc. Mr Peng was around during my entire stay and i really enjoyed having someone there by my side, kinda forgotten that feeling since i came to AUH.
Didn't spend much time with my family. Did not even have a proper dinner with them. My dad was not at home most of the time. I guess the "Precious Daughter" label is fading off, cos they probably gotten used to me not being around anymore. It's kinda sad to know that people are actually getting use to ur absence. It's like they dun need u anymore...
Anyway, it was a big risk going home during this off days. Not only i had to lie to get back, i almost missed my Operating flight to bangkok, cos my flight back to AUH was delayed. I reached AUH home at 5 plus in the morning and had to go for BKK flight at 6am... It was a horrible and tiring experience......
I had a pleasant stay in singapore. Nothing much happened, except that Mr Peng n i did a lot of shopping, Expensive shopping. Bought stuff like my Sony T20 n he got his PSP, etc. Mr Peng was around during my entire stay and i really enjoyed having someone there by my side, kinda forgotten that feeling since i came to AUH.
Didn't spend much time with my family. Did not even have a proper dinner with them. My dad was not at home most of the time. I guess the "Precious Daughter" label is fading off, cos they probably gotten used to me not being around anymore. It's kinda sad to know that people are actually getting use to ur absence. It's like they dun need u anymore...
Anyway, it was a big risk going home during this off days. Not only i had to lie to get back, i almost missed my Operating flight to bangkok, cos my flight back to AUH was delayed. I reached AUH home at 5 plus in the morning and had to go for BKK flight at 6am... It was a horrible and tiring experience......
Friday, 16 November 2007
Home from Munich
I just came back from Munich Flight. After trying extremely hard to get my Standby changed to Rest day tmr, i failed. Supposed to have an Available tmr n they changed it to Standby. I begged them, gave all sorts of pathetic excuses, called the manager but still failed. I'm feeling sick, tired and going crazy soon. I really wanna go home..
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Flight was alright, despite a bit of complication with a "princess" swedish crew on board. She was having some problem with the senior crew working with her in pearl zone, so the cabin manager wants to swap me to the front to work, but i wanted to practice working in galley in coral. In the end, i had no choice, cos the CM thinks i'm really good and wants me to serve the business class.
I'm ok working in the front, but i was not feeling well after catching a cold in Munich and not having enough sleep and having a bad headache, so i really wanted to work in the galley. i wasn't very pleased initially but everything turned out fine, cos i've got the best customer-service.*ahem*
That Swedish girl was still having problem with the seniors even though they were not working together anymore, so the situation really made me the star of the flight. I seemed to be the best crew to work with, no attitude, good service, always taking initiative. After the flight, i realised that the CM wrote a report about me, complimenting me on my excellent work and recommended me to be trained for First class. Cool, if i'm really trained, i'll be a rich gal...
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Munich is really beautiful. The first time i went, i already had a wonderful impression of the place. This time round, with the snow, the place looks stunning. This is the first time in my 23 years that i've seen real snow. It was really cold, but i heard that other places are much colder and it shocks me to know that.
I went straight out to the street and went shopping immediately after i reach the hotel. Everyone else went to sleep after the night flight. I was the only crazy active person still having the energy to go out. The snow was so beautiful that i refused to sleep. It's my first time after all.
I guess i really tired myself out. After dinner, i went back and totally knocked out and woke up with an extremely bad headache and caught a cold as well. It must be the weather, and i went running around in the snow, no wonder i caught a cold. But the whole experience was really nice...
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Flight was alright, despite a bit of complication with a "princess" swedish crew on board. She was having some problem with the senior crew working with her in pearl zone, so the cabin manager wants to swap me to the front to work, but i wanted to practice working in galley in coral. In the end, i had no choice, cos the CM thinks i'm really good and wants me to serve the business class.
I'm ok working in the front, but i was not feeling well after catching a cold in Munich and not having enough sleep and having a bad headache, so i really wanted to work in the galley. i wasn't very pleased initially but everything turned out fine, cos i've got the best customer-service.*ahem*
That Swedish girl was still having problem with the seniors even though they were not working together anymore, so the situation really made me the star of the flight. I seemed to be the best crew to work with, no attitude, good service, always taking initiative. After the flight, i realised that the CM wrote a report about me, complimenting me on my excellent work and recommended me to be trained for First class. Cool, if i'm really trained, i'll be a rich gal...
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Munich is really beautiful. The first time i went, i already had a wonderful impression of the place. This time round, with the snow, the place looks stunning. This is the first time in my 23 years that i've seen real snow. It was really cold, but i heard that other places are much colder and it shocks me to know that.
I went straight out to the street and went shopping immediately after i reach the hotel. Everyone else went to sleep after the night flight. I was the only crazy active person still having the energy to go out. The snow was so beautiful that i refused to sleep. It's my first time after all.
I guess i really tired myself out. After dinner, i went back and totally knocked out and woke up with an extremely bad headache and caught a cold as well. It must be the weather, and i went running around in the snow, no wonder i caught a cold. But the whole experience was really nice...
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Reconsidered......
Have been thinking about getting the phone since last night. Woke up this morning and still thinking and reconsidering, and i came to the conclusion not to buy it anymore. My original intention was to get 2 of the phones and give one as a x'mas present, but i changed my mind...
Instead, i think i'll just use the money for more shopping in singapore, rather than buying just an item, i can use these money on many more x'mas presents for the people who loves me. It's been 7 months since i came to abu dhabi, and i realised i've not bought anything for the other people whom i love.... Guess it's time.... It's x'mas, the season of Giving......
I did not buy presents from my layovers, but there's really nothing much that i can get from the places that i've been to. And lately, i only get to go to boring places, so i hope my dearest close ones will understand... Haha, making excuses here....
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Look what my horoscope has to say:
You must soft-pedal as far as your criticisms against your love partners are concerned, otherwise you may be entitled to a disappointment! You may have vague yearnings and may wish to have other things, to be elsewhere, to live a different life.
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Called Crew Control in the morning to request for Rest Day on Fri, so that i can go back home, but the fucker just refuse to give me a day off, instead, he put a memo on my roster that i request Off Day. He could've just change my roster and end of story, but he just wanna torment me..... Damn...... Keep my fingers crossed again........
Nokia 5610
My urge to spend hasn't decrease at all. I am going to get a phone later. Went to the shops downstairs to browse through the phones and saw Nokia5610. But people who knows me should know that i actually prefer samsung..... So i'm in a kinda contradiction again...
I'm never someone who takes out my money and pay for something expensive. I'd say i've improved slightly better after being here and mixing around with this kinda people, but i still hesitate when it comes to hundreds of SGD.....
I'm never someone who takes out my money and pay for something expensive. I'd say i've improved slightly better after being here and mixing around with this kinda people, but i still hesitate when it comes to hundreds of SGD.....
Monday, 12 November 2007
Loneliness?
Was looking through the blog of an SQ gal-fren's blog. Her title is "Sometimes its lonely out there...". The title itself suggested how she felt when she's having her layovers, and i suddenly remembered what Jasmin told me long time ago...
She said that she'll cry at times during her layover, especially during special occasion like x'mas. And it sets me thinking, should i cry everyday? If SQ cabin crew feels lonely being away from home for such a short period, then i should have all the right to make big fusses all the time. And this applies especially when things are not going smoothly over here.
It really wouldn't be that bad if i've got support from my love ones, especially the one i love most, but unfortunately i do not have it.....
I feel sorry for myself.... n it's pathetic......
She said that she'll cry at times during her layover, especially during special occasion like x'mas. And it sets me thinking, should i cry everyday? If SQ cabin crew feels lonely being away from home for such a short period, then i should have all the right to make big fusses all the time. And this applies especially when things are not going smoothly over here.
It really wouldn't be that bad if i've got support from my love ones, especially the one i love most, but unfortunately i do not have it.....
I feel sorry for myself.... n it's pathetic......
Within 15minutes, Crew Control has replaced enough people for the flights that are down on crew. I'm impressed, cos they dun seem to need my help on any flights anymore, that's good news, but it's bad news that they won't need me for Sydney as well... Damn.....
It's funny how all the songs that you listen to, seemed to be re-enacting your life story. And it makes you think of the past even more. The Bitterness, Sweetness, Sourish and even the spicy-hot moments in ur life.
I like to look back and remind myself the things and events that brought me this far. One should never forget their past, no matter how painful it may be, cos it'll definitely bring you a brighter future.....
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It's funny how all the songs that you listen to, seemed to be re-enacting your life story. And it makes you think of the past even more. The Bitterness, Sweetness, Sourish and even the spicy-hot moments in ur life.
I like to look back and remind myself the things and events that brought me this far. One should never forget their past, no matter how painful it may be, cos it'll definitely bring you a brighter future.....
StandBy = Wait for Death Sentence....
My standby will start in 10minutes. And when i checked the crew on the flights, most of the monster flights are down by either 1 or 2 crews, meaning, i'll wait for time to come for them to call me for another monstrous flight.
I actually requested for Sydney, an ultra-long-haul flight. And i really hated these flights, but i have to do it, cos if i manage to get it, i'll get 2 days off after that, and i'll happily be able to go home..
As down and upset i can be, there no way i can leave everything here and run straight back like my dear Farhana, so to make me feel slightly better, i have to take a breather and go home for a couple of days....
Keep my fingers crossed***
I actually requested for Sydney, an ultra-long-haul flight. And i really hated these flights, but i have to do it, cos if i manage to get it, i'll get 2 days off after that, and i'll happily be able to go home..
As down and upset i can be, there no way i can leave everything here and run straight back like my dear Farhana, so to make me feel slightly better, i have to take a breather and go home for a couple of days....
Keep my fingers crossed***
T100.......
Alrighty..... I've decided the winner to be T100......
Went to the mall to look at the cameras just now, looked at all the 4 models, T20, 70 ,100 n 200. They only have red T200 n pink T70, not the other 2, and i thought tat red actually look better than pink. Therefore i eliminated T20 n 70. N after considering T100 n 200, i still think that buttons are better than touch screen.
T100 has a battery life of 340 shots while T200 only can shoot up to 250. Of course i should get T100 if i'm gonna be travelling around taking lots of pictures, hopefully. And JaniceChanYanLi always forget to charge her camera.......
Thus the contradiction is over, but i'll get it in Singapura, cos there ain't no stock in this stupid country......
Went to the mall to look at the cameras just now, looked at all the 4 models, T20, 70 ,100 n 200. They only have red T200 n pink T70, not the other 2, and i thought tat red actually look better than pink. Therefore i eliminated T20 n 70. N after considering T100 n 200, i still think that buttons are better than touch screen.
T100 has a battery life of 340 shots while T200 only can shoot up to 250. Of course i should get T100 if i'm gonna be travelling around taking lots of pictures, hopefully. And JaniceChanYanLi always forget to charge her camera.......
Thus the contradiction is over, but i'll get it in Singapura, cos there ain't no stock in this stupid country......
Sunday, 11 November 2007
Life is short... Make it Worth while
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with Regrets.
So Love the people who treats u right,
And Forget about the ones who dun.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, then let it.
Nobody said it'd be easy,
They just promised it'd be worth it...
Live Free!!!
You gotta dance like nobody's watching.DREAM like you will live forever.LIVE like you're gonna die tomorrow.And LOVE like it's never going to hurt.
Spending too much, eating too much...
Have been splurging a tad too much these few days. Maybe a form of relaxation from my uptight behaviour lately. To win some, u gotta lose some, therefore i'm making holes in my wallet, BIG holes.
Some well-spent money i'd say, bought some sweaters and a pair of jeans, finally. But the rest are really unnecessary splurges, and of course, they're spent on food. Have been binging every single moment. Kept eating and eating non-stop and a lot are junk foods. KFC, Dunkin Donutsssss, Popeye chicken, ice-cream, even potato chips and chocolates that i dun usually eat.
It's not so bad to eat so much, but i stopped doing my routine exercises. Damn, i'm killing myself slowly....
Keep having urge to spend money. Planning to buy the sony camera, but couldn't make up my mind which one i want. I definitely prefer the buttons ones to the touch screens. Touch screens waste more batteries, almost a hundred shots of difference. But i'm deciding between T100 n T20. T100 is better becos of the 5x optical zoom, but T20 is available in pink colour, and the price difference is quite alot, T100 is almost 50% more... Guess i'm probably gonna splurge lesser... haa....
Waiting for friday to arrive. I need to go back to singapore. If OCC is not gonna give me rest day for my available on Friday, i'm really gonna die.... Going crazy soon....
Some well-spent money i'd say, bought some sweaters and a pair of jeans, finally. But the rest are really unnecessary splurges, and of course, they're spent on food. Have been binging every single moment. Kept eating and eating non-stop and a lot are junk foods. KFC, Dunkin Donutsssss, Popeye chicken, ice-cream, even potato chips and chocolates that i dun usually eat.
It's not so bad to eat so much, but i stopped doing my routine exercises. Damn, i'm killing myself slowly....
Keep having urge to spend money. Planning to buy the sony camera, but couldn't make up my mind which one i want. I definitely prefer the buttons ones to the touch screens. Touch screens waste more batteries, almost a hundred shots of difference. But i'm deciding between T100 n T20. T100 is better becos of the 5x optical zoom, but T20 is available in pink colour, and the price difference is quite alot, T100 is almost 50% more... Guess i'm probably gonna splurge lesser... haa....
Waiting for friday to arrive. I need to go back to singapore. If OCC is not gonna give me rest day for my available on Friday, i'm really gonna die.... Going crazy soon....
Saturday, 10 November 2007
Bad to Worse
As bad as it can be, my laptop is not working anymore. Tried many times but still failed to switch it on. Guess it had a virus attack and guess that all my photographs inside are gone as well. Became emotionless about wat bad luck i've been having.
Gayle gave me this pills called st. john's warts, a kinda herb that'll make ur mood better, cos i'm really far too emotional. Everything still seems to be going against me. From dropping stuff, spilling drinks, getting the worse flights, getting the worse position on board, last minute purchase of duty free product by guest, duty free machine not working, guest paying by Saudi Riyal, no calculator provided, forced to make English announcement, full-load minimum crew complement, and my galley was given the least crew to do the service plus i have to do duty free and announcement and boarding of guests. The cabin manager is a dumbass man....
But the good news is, i think the pills are working. I've calm down a lot since yesterday. Weeping again for no reason initially, till i continue to weep becos i found some reasons to do so.
Gayle gave me this pills called st. john's warts, a kinda herb that'll make ur mood better, cos i'm really far too emotional. Everything still seems to be going against me. From dropping stuff, spilling drinks, getting the worse flights, getting the worse position on board, last minute purchase of duty free product by guest, duty free machine not working, guest paying by Saudi Riyal, no calculator provided, forced to make English announcement, full-load minimum crew complement, and my galley was given the least crew to do the service plus i have to do duty free and announcement and boarding of guests. The cabin manager is a dumbass man....
But the good news is, i think the pills are working. I've calm down a lot since yesterday. Weeping again for no reason initially, till i continue to weep becos i found some reasons to do so.
Friday, 9 November 2007
Where are u?
Where were you when i needed u most?
What have you done when i needed u most?
I'm going crazy but no one actually knows...
OR in fact, no one actually cares....
Feel like flying like a bird,
and jump down from the sky.
Feel like swimming like a fish,
and drown myself in the water.
Feel like being on cloud nine,
by swallowing all the drugs.......
And would anyone care if i really do so?
What am i living for?
I dunno anymore....
What have you done when i needed u most?
I'm going crazy but no one actually knows...
OR in fact, no one actually cares....
Feel like flying like a bird,
and jump down from the sky.
Feel like swimming like a fish,
and drown myself in the water.
Feel like being on cloud nine,
by swallowing all the drugs.......
And would anyone care if i really do so?
What am i living for?
I dunno anymore....
LOST
Feeling the strong sense of loneliness again. Keep coming to me. Why can't it just leave me alone? Feels horrible to feel this way.
I seemed to be the only person in this world. Nothing seemed to be real. All the loving feelings that i got from anyone seemed to be a feeling that i made up myself before. They do not exist, or at least not anymore.
Can someone tell me what's wrong with me? I really feel like killing someone to let everything out. But i really can't.... So i really feel like killing myself.....
I seemed to be the only person in this world. Nothing seemed to be real. All the loving feelings that i got from anyone seemed to be a feeling that i made up myself before. They do not exist, or at least not anymore.
Can someone tell me what's wrong with me? I really feel like killing someone to let everything out. But i really can't.... So i really feel like killing myself.....
Thursday, 8 November 2007
Nothing is Right!!!
There'll always be a time when everything u do goes wrong. Everthing u want will not happen the way u want it. Everything just seemed to be opposing u.
It's happening to me right now.........
It's happening to me right now.........
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
Why Frankfurt?? Why not munich??
ARghh.... Can't believe they did tat to me.. I was really thankful that they changed me from my london to Munich. But about an hr ago, i realised they took me off munich and put me on Frankfurt flight. Not that i mind frankfurt, but the layover of 27hrs is shortened to 13hrs.
This means that i'll have a shorter rest and lesser pay.... Damn....
Like how i'd normally react, i called them up and screwed them with all my might. The lady at OCC was really unhappy with me being unhappy at her and redirected me to Crew Control.
The guy at Crew control wasn't able to give me a relevant explaination and guess wat he said? Yeah.... "It's due to operational reason".... Gosh, wat a nice reason that can be use for everything....
As the Crew controller couldn't be able to change me back to munich, i took advantage of him and ask him to put me on Munich flight on 13th Nov... hehe.....
I was supposed to be doing LHR for 2 days n a Standby on 15th, by changing to munich, i'll have no more standby for 15th, therefore chances of me going back to singapore on the 16th will be much higher.....
Yippy!!!!! See u singapore!!!
This means that i'll have a shorter rest and lesser pay.... Damn....
Like how i'd normally react, i called them up and screwed them with all my might. The lady at OCC was really unhappy with me being unhappy at her and redirected me to Crew Control.
The guy at Crew control wasn't able to give me a relevant explaination and guess wat he said? Yeah.... "It's due to operational reason".... Gosh, wat a nice reason that can be use for everything....
As the Crew controller couldn't be able to change me back to munich, i took advantage of him and ask him to put me on Munich flight on 13th Nov... hehe.....
I was supposed to be doing LHR for 2 days n a Standby on 15th, by changing to munich, i'll have no more standby for 15th, therefore chances of me going back to singapore on the 16th will be much higher.....
Yippy!!!!! See u singapore!!!
Sleeping Beauty
I'm a sleeping beauty today. Have been sleeping from 6am all the way till filzah called me for dinner at 8pm. My body clock was totally the other way round. Sleeping during day time and awake when everyone else is sleeping. Bad bad bad...
Standby ends at 21:45, and as i was jokingly telling filzah tat i better check my phone in case they call me at 21.45 for flight, i realised there were really 2 missed calls from OCC at 21:46.
I swear i totally freaked out, but in the end, they called me to inform tat my LHR tmr is changed to Munich.... *Happy*
Bought some baking equipments yesterday. Gonna learn to bake cake....:> Those that are covered with cream and icing... yeah.... trying to find things to do man... waste money... haiz.....
Standby ends at 21:45, and as i was jokingly telling filzah tat i better check my phone in case they call me at 21.45 for flight, i realised there were really 2 missed calls from OCC at 21:46.
I swear i totally freaked out, but in the end, they called me to inform tat my LHR tmr is changed to Munich.... *Happy*
Bought some baking equipments yesterday. Gonna learn to bake cake....:> Those that are covered with cream and icing... yeah.... trying to find things to do man... waste money... haiz.....
Monday, 5 November 2007
My mum knows me the best
Feeling extremely bad mood. Not exactly tat kinda bad mood, but feeling a mixture of anxiety, loneliness, depressed and emotional kinda feeling. Probably my PMS playing a fool with me, again.
But of course, i'm not over the SQ thingy yet, which contributes mainly to my mood swing. Been thinking, talking and even dreaming about it. Can't get it out of my mind. And my usual impulsive behaviour tries to take over me. But dun worry, i won't, cos my life here is too good for me to do anything tat i'll regret much...
Really can't help thinking over and over about it. To try or not to try? How do i go about trying? Do i really wanna go back singapore? Wat are the Pros and Cons? How much difference in the 2 airlines? Wat will i be giving up if i go back? Wat will happen if i go back? Is there any turning back if i regret?
All these questions kept lingering in my mind.... Going Crazy soon....
Needed someone to talk to, and my Heroine Mother came to my rescue. She's always able to give me constructive advises, not really everytime, but most of the time... hee.. Advises that'll make me feel much better. That'll make me think much clearer.
Sometimes, most of the time actually, i've already made up my mind, but i just needed someone to reassure me, to encourage me and give me the extra boost of courage to go ahead and implement it. I've always been very decisive in my decisions, i just need people to support me, especially those i love.......
But of course, i'm not over the SQ thingy yet, which contributes mainly to my mood swing. Been thinking, talking and even dreaming about it. Can't get it out of my mind. And my usual impulsive behaviour tries to take over me. But dun worry, i won't, cos my life here is too good for me to do anything tat i'll regret much...
Really can't help thinking over and over about it. To try or not to try? How do i go about trying? Do i really wanna go back singapore? Wat are the Pros and Cons? How much difference in the 2 airlines? Wat will i be giving up if i go back? Wat will happen if i go back? Is there any turning back if i regret?
All these questions kept lingering in my mind.... Going Crazy soon....
Needed someone to talk to, and my Heroine Mother came to my rescue. She's always able to give me constructive advises, not really everytime, but most of the time... hee.. Advises that'll make me feel much better. That'll make me think much clearer.
Sometimes, most of the time actually, i've already made up my mind, but i just needed someone to reassure me, to encourage me and give me the extra boost of courage to go ahead and implement it. I've always been very decisive in my decisions, i just need people to support me, especially those i love.......
Saturday, 3 November 2007
Singapore Airlines
Gosh, this is my 5th blog for today. You can see that i'm really bored huh.
Was surfing through friendster n facebook and looking through frens' profiles to see how are people getting along in singapore. Browse through Jovi's profile n blog. Got to know her from my last interview with SQ. She didn't make it through as well, so we went for breakfast together after the interview. As u can guess, she tried again from the SQ intake at TP n now she has already started flying.
Everyone gets in n it pisses me off. Looking at how her life is, i have a sourish feeling again. The feeling of regret. Tat's really a very big regret in my life. It's very unhealthy, but i dun seem to be able to get rid of that feeling. Despite the fact that i'm living a good life now, i am still unable to remove the horrible fact that i'm a rejected item of SQ...
Sometimes i wonder if i could make it if i try again. But it's really too dreadful. Somehow giving up my life here and in the end not getting it, is just too scary a thought. It's big contradiction for me....
Man, i hate SQ....
Was surfing through friendster n facebook and looking through frens' profiles to see how are people getting along in singapore. Browse through Jovi's profile n blog. Got to know her from my last interview with SQ. She didn't make it through as well, so we went for breakfast together after the interview. As u can guess, she tried again from the SQ intake at TP n now she has already started flying.
Everyone gets in n it pisses me off. Looking at how her life is, i have a sourish feeling again. The feeling of regret. Tat's really a very big regret in my life. It's very unhealthy, but i dun seem to be able to get rid of that feeling. Despite the fact that i'm living a good life now, i am still unable to remove the horrible fact that i'm a rejected item of SQ...
Sometimes i wonder if i could make it if i try again. But it's really too dreadful. Somehow giving up my life here and in the end not getting it, is just too scary a thought. It's big contradiction for me....
Man, i hate SQ....
So sweet.... for once....
"I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do."
Uhhhhhh......... so sweet....... u're sure u're talking abt me huh.....
Haha..... duh.....
Uhhhhhh......... so sweet....... u're sure u're talking abt me huh.....
Haha..... duh.....
Jet Lagged.... Not....
I woke up at 8am AUH time. Can't go back to sleep. Initially i tot it was jet-lag from my LHR flight, but come to think abt it, LHR time is 4am, thus it's definitely not from the jet-lag.
Been having sleeping problem heh. Bad bad... Hopefully i can slim down from the lack of sleep, but probability is extremely low, all i'd get is darker eye circles.*DAMN*
Will be off for this 2 days. Planning to get some stuff for my humble home. Probably some paintings for the wall, some appliances and stuff. I just need to spend money. Super craving to buy things.
Finally will be using the movie tickets tat was given by the management. Why? cos i had a compliment letter. wahaha.... cos i'm good, that's why i get to watch free movie. It shall be my first movie for half a year, n also my first movie in UAE... Cheers...
Been having sleeping problem heh. Bad bad... Hopefully i can slim down from the lack of sleep, but probability is extremely low, all i'd get is darker eye circles.*DAMN*
Will be off for this 2 days. Planning to get some stuff for my humble home. Probably some paintings for the wall, some appliances and stuff. I just need to spend money. Super craving to buy things.
Finally will be using the movie tickets tat was given by the management. Why? cos i had a compliment letter. wahaha.... cos i'm good, that's why i get to watch free movie. It shall be my first movie for half a year, n also my first movie in UAE... Cheers...
London bridge makes me fall down....
Haha, life is indeed full of suprises. All of a sudden, anything can happen.
Swapped my Khi, Dmm n Stby for a London flight from 31st oct to 2nd nov. It's a nice swap, cos Layover always more money ma, plus the amount of work is lesser too. It's my first swap n i was really excited about it. But, 31st is Halloween night n there's a party at Zenith which i tot was really interesting. Went to the doctor to check out my ankle n was really tempted to get MC, but in the end, without matching my character, i chose not to take mc.
As fated as can be, Peng got called up from standby for London flight. He arrived earlier than me n had a longer layover. It was so nice to see him there. N the best part was, we met Jasmine at his hotel lobby when she checked in yesterday night from another london flight as well.
I couldn't believe how coincidental everything was. It was a nice simple trip. We didn't do anything great, but the accompaniment itself was good enough.
Although evertything sounded nice, i had to spend 45pounds(equivalent to ard 140SGD) on the taxi fare back from his hotel to my hotel right before my pick up time.. Till now, my heart is still aching... hmmm.... guess it's always a win n lose situation huh.....
Swapped my Khi, Dmm n Stby for a London flight from 31st oct to 2nd nov. It's a nice swap, cos Layover always more money ma, plus the amount of work is lesser too. It's my first swap n i was really excited about it. But, 31st is Halloween night n there's a party at Zenith which i tot was really interesting. Went to the doctor to check out my ankle n was really tempted to get MC, but in the end, without matching my character, i chose not to take mc.
As fated as can be, Peng got called up from standby for London flight. He arrived earlier than me n had a longer layover. It was so nice to see him there. N the best part was, we met Jasmine at his hotel lobby when she checked in yesterday night from another london flight as well.
I couldn't believe how coincidental everything was. It was a nice simple trip. We didn't do anything great, but the accompaniment itself was good enough.
Although evertything sounded nice, i had to spend 45pounds(equivalent to ard 140SGD) on the taxi fare back from his hotel to my hotel right before my pick up time.. Till now, my heart is still aching... hmmm.... guess it's always a win n lose situation huh.....
Hmm.... if it's true, wat would it mean???
A Romance will begin to develop rapidly and bring you unspeakable joys. Don't let yourself be overcome by your concerns, profit by the pleasures which life offers you. Make a draining of your entire digestive tract by drinking much plain water. You'll feel a great desire to strengthen family ties. You'll want to charm, you'll be enthusiastic, reacting with much kindness and delicacy.
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