less traveled

Everything is a work in progress. Nothing seems to get done before my attention needs to be on one of you. It's already been a month since my last post. Thanksgiving has come and gone. Pop-Pops came to our house to spend it with us. It was a quiet holiday, but he loved you two up.

I love this crazy time right now and know just how magical and fleeting it is. B you change every single day right now. It's too fast for me. i want it to last longer. i was not prepared for how quickly you learn and grow. Your epaphlant changes to elephant. Your pusapec changes to octopus. You say big boy things like "no way". Where did you learn that? you love your sister, but you still crave that one on one time. You ask me to put M in the swing or in her bed or just down anywhere. When I walk in the door she is usually hungry and ready for me to breast feed immediately, and you want my attention. i always try to give you some loving before I turn to her. You are always good about it and seem to understand. It is so hard being pulled in two directions. i feel like neither of you get all of me.

You are having a difficult time sleeping, my little guy. I'm not sure what taunts you in your sleep, but you cry out for me most nights and if it's a bad night, it lasts the lot of it.

M, my dear, my little girl. How did you find us? I'm still shocked and amazed that you are here. You are really engaging in your world now, and have been for awhile now. You are full of smiles. Really, I've never seen such a smiley baby. You adore your big brother. He can do anything to you and you laugh. He squeezes you so tightly sometimes(most of the time) and I get worried he's going to hurt you, but you laugh and smile and seem to enjoy all of his silly ways of loving you. You are a beautiful little girl with big brown eyes that make us melt. You want to be mobile. You are rolling over now and it seems as if you just want to walk. daddy will stand you up and you are delighted. You bounce in the bouncer like a maniac, but you really just want to be able to play with your brother. And he can't wait. He brings you toys and grabs your hands and sings ring around the rosie and tries to get you to fall down with him. He plays with your feet and wants you to play trucks with him and have picnics on the floor. I hope you two are always close and good to each other. You have each other. You are family. Nothing will ever change that. But, it's a special bond that still needs to be nurtured and cherished. I hope you have a lifetime of friendship. You will need each other in this lifetime.

You are the loudest squeakiest thing. And your brother mimics you. Soon your squeaks will turn into words and all too soon you will be walking and chasing after B. You are big for your age. bigger than B was at your age--and he's a big guy. You will be caught up with him in no time. He better be ready for you. We all better be ready. : )

We went and cut down our Christmas tree last weekend and seeing the three of you there, Daddy, B, and you, all walking doen the aisles of trees looking for our special tree, I was filled with joy. This will be a special Christmas indeed, my little ones, our first Christmas all together at last.

B-you are calling out for me, it's going to be another long night for you and I. I must go to you.

I love you both so deeply.

You are magic.

It's been way too long since my last post. Our world is on super fast-forward it seems now. There are 2 little ones in our home and I can't believe how lucky I am. I have two of the most beautifully sweet and tender children.

My dear B,
You have grown at rocket speed. You are so ahead of the curve it makes us a bit nervous. Your vocabulary has exploded. At your 18 month check-up with the pediatrician no one could believe how much you were talking and the things you were doing already. I had no idea, you are just my guy. I've had nothing to compare you to. You don't go to daycare. You're my first born. You'd amaze me no matter what you did. But to hear the amazement from the doc and the nurses really made me wonder what I need to be doing to make sure you stay engaged and challenged. You speak in full sentences and have for quite sometime. You know your letters and sing the alphabet song. You love to count. Your imagination is growing all of the time. I love how you pretend to make pizza and coffee all of the time. You LOVE the moon. We look for it everyday. We take you at night to see it when its visible, and you always spot it during the day when it's still out. I don't know how you can find it mixed up in the sky with the clouds but you always do.

You love your new little sister. You kiss her and hug(strangle) her all of the time. You want to share your toys with her and play with her. You ask her to dance with you and you "talk" her language with her. Ah-goo, M, Ahgoo! First thing in the morning after we snuggle you climb over me nad wsay M is awake! Even if she's still asleep, you want to engage with her right away.

You are dear and sweet and kind, my boy. You will only let me put you to bed. About 2 weeks before M was bon you suddenly became very attached to me. Like you knew it was all going to change. And to be honest I was glad about it, I wanted every last minute with you because I knew I would be busy with your new sister. And honestly now, I am still glad I get that special one on one time with you. When you go to sleep at night you talk all about the important things that happened in your day. You replay it all out and I love to hear it as you decompress. I feel like you let me right into your thoughts. I love it.

Last night was Halloween and you were so tired you didn't chat about anything, you were so tired. You laid down and said thank you, thank you thank you. II'm not sure if you were thanking me or replaying the thank yous you said to the poeple that gave you candy at their dorrs. I said, You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome. You said back thank you- yoou'r welcome... and drifted off to sleep. You still put your hand down my shirt when you need comfort and when you drift off. It's a tender little connection you still have with me and I know one day you won't need that comfort or reassurance at all. I'll miss it.

There are so many things to write about because I have't written for so long. I'll add more tomorrow and try to get caught up and be better about writing.

Right now, though, I just want to say how much I adore you. I couldnt have hoped for anything more, my dear.

Yes, it's true, we are having another baby. Our little bear cub is going to be a big brother and I will be the mom of TWO. I'm still in shock. Our new arrival is due on July 3rd. We are past the halfway mark and have cleared all of the scary hurdles with testing and everything looks great!

This time around the pregnancy has been a lot harder. I've been really sick and tired and getting to the second trimester hasn't really helped much. I'm not sure if I ever wrote here about my pelvis, but I fractured it in my 3 1/2 day marathon of a delivery with B and it hasn't healed correctly, so I'm having a great deal of pain with that. I hope that after this easy delivery everything will go back to normal. I want to walk again, and hike, and move my body. I miss that.

That's my crazy news.

Where have the days gone, my little one? I can't believe your first birthday is just 2 days away. You are the most beautiful soul and I am in amazement of you everyday. You have had some big milestones this year. You seem be ahead of the curve on everything. You started walking at 9 1/2 months and never looked back. Now you are running as fast as your feet will take you, usually with a ball in your hands, yelling, "Go, Go, Go!!" You chase after Gracie and laugh big belly laughs at about anything she does. You have recently started feeding her from your highchair, so nice of you to share. And you are talking up a storm. Your first words were Mama, spoken way back in July during your first visit to NY. Soon the word HOT followed because of the fireplace. I wanted you to learn early on to stay away, soon you made the leap that most things bright were hot, like candles and lights. You started making animal sounds soon after that, first the "Boof! Boof!' like Gracie, then the quack quack of a duck then on to monkey sounds and bears and even elephants. Then Daddy taught you the word hat and it was your favorite. You grasped the concept well and you would be silly and put anything on your head and call it a hat. You are always making us laugh, your sense of humor has been evident since day 1. Around December your vocabulary really exploded, you want to know the names of everything and as soon as we tell you you walk around repeating it. All of this is way ahead of schedule, kiddo. The doctors are amazed by your fine motor skills and vocabulary, as well as your laid back and easy going demeanor. You are such a good baby, everyday, all of the time, and I thank my lucky stars for you. You have only had 2 colds, the second of which you have right now. You've been so stuffly that I have held you upright every night for the last 4 nights. Last night was the worst, and I'm hoping you don't have your first ear infection. My fingers are crossed.

You got your first tooth at 6 months and soon 5 others followed that first. You broke almost 6 teeth all at once, and no one would have ever known. You were happy and unfazed by it. Very unusual for babies. You are a tough guy, like your daddy.

You love football. We took you to see your cousin Joe's high school football game on Sept 11th and you were mesmerized by it. You should have been sleepy and nodding off, but instead you were jumping up and down and so excited by the event. After that a football game came on tv and you went up the screen and said, "GO! GO! GO!" I think you are hooked. DId you and Grandpa ROn play football a lot in heaven before you came to us?? That is the only thing I can make of it all.

One thing that you started doing in October while we were visiting COlorado, was closing your eyes to turn the lights on and off. I don't know where you cam e up with this trick, but we help you out and turn them on and off with every tight blink you give them. It is the cutest thing. You have also turned into such a cuddle bear. I love to have you come up to me and grab me for hugs and kisses, crawl into my lap, and hold you close. It has to be the best feeling in the world, next to holding you for the first time. I still can't believe that was one year ago. I can't imagine my world without you in it, my bear cub. You bring me such joy and happiness. This next year I know you will continue to be unstoppable with development. I can't wait to see what is next for you. Thank you for being such a good little boy. I love you from here to the moon and back.

Happy Birthday!!!

A list of all you words:
Mama
Dada
Hot
Hat
Truck
Car
up
bagel
potato
carrot
cracker
car
ball
cake
clock
poopeck
paddle


Love,
Mommy