less traveled

I don't know how it happened. I held you in my arms right after you were born, you were warm and wet and squishy, a day or two passes you crawl, you walk, you run, you sing songs and now you are two. It's a whirlwind my boy. It's so fast. I write this every time I am here. Too fast, slow down. You squeeze your muscles at me and shake and say, See mama, I'm growing up. Yes, you are, everyday, everyday, everyday (as you would say). We had a lovely family day together on you birthday. We started out with me asking what you wanted for breakfast. You could have anything you wanted. You told me you'd like presthents! (presents) I said you can't eat presents for breakfast. "Oh, then I want birthday cake!" Smarty pants. But we talked a bit about our options and then you yelled PANCAKES! So we settled on pancakes shaped like Frosty the Snowman. Decorated with blueberries, one of your favorites. You were tickled to see Frosty on your plate. We played like crazy as the snow outside blanked you special day with glorious birthday snow. It was warm, about 34 degrees(a far cry from the coldest day ever 2 years ago at 30 below zero!), so the snow was wet and packable. PErfect for snowman making. We haven;t had such a day yet. You dad came home early during your nap and we decorated the house for you with streamers and hats, and blow-thingys. I made a cake for you and put special candles on it. When you woke up we all went outside for sledding and made your first snowman. M went sledding for the first time. IT was a perfect little party for us. We went inside and opened presents. YOu got your first bicycle- a balance bike that doesn't have pedals or a chain, but teaches you balance. You received a few puzzles that you love, a recorder that you make beautiful music on already. You ask the rest of us to play different instruments and accompany you. You blew out your candles several times. It was a good day. I just don't know how we got here so fast. I look back at the pics from last year and you have grown so much. My baby is gone and there is no denying I have a true toddler on my hands. Truth be told, I have for awhile, but I am just starting to accept this now.

The night before you big day we broke down and gave you your toddler ice skates. We went down to the lake and Daddy shoveled off the snow and away we went. M took a few spins in the stroller on the ice, but mainly it was you, me, and daddy. You would skate and then ask to sit and watch daddy and I. We would skate around (in our shoes, mind you)acting like we were some Olympic pair medalists, spinning holding hands and swirling about. I think you were quite impressed by us. : )

THe day after you birthday we had your 2 year check-up. You weighed in at 28.5 lbs. That puts you in the 60th percentile for weight, and for height you are in the 75th percentile.

You are so good with your little sister. You can make her smile at the drop of a hat. You can sit on her pull her tickle her, kiss her: it just doesn't matter what you do to her. She adores you and always smiles and laughs at you. When we are driving and she cries you sing to her or babble at her. When she's fussy in a seat on the floor somewhere and I can't get to her, you run and grab her some toys to play with. You are such a care giver. It really warms my heart to see the connection you two have.

I love you, Beckett, and can't imagine what this next year will bring for you. I love watching you grow up, I just wish it would go a little slower.

I love you through and through, right, Lovey? smooches.

love,
Mommy.

marlowe you are one determined little girl. Last week, i think it was thursday you started rocking back and forth on your hands and knees. i couldn't believe you were up and ready to go. and once you did it, that is ALL you wanted to do. i was trying to pack things up for our trip into des moines, i had you on a blanket in the family room. i came back into check on you and you were gone--you had scooted your way back a few feet and were under the christmas tree. i'm in trouble now. anyday now i know you will be crawling fast as you can across the floor then it will be no time until you are running full steam daring b to catch you. you, my dear, are no longer that itty bitty baby. you are such a happy little girl and bring so much joy to our lives. you have this incredible infectious smile that lights up a room in an instant. your big brown eyes with long lashes has everyone oogling over you. you are a sweet one.

we have been trying to get you started on solids, but you seem like maybe you'd rather wait. either that or you just want something besides rice cereal. I can't seem to remember how I introduced everything to B, at least not the time line of it all. I know I watied til he was about 6.5 months. Maybe you'll be ready in another week. I keep trying though.

You take really short cat naps because your big brother is a bit loud for your sleep habits, but when he's down for his afternoon naps you are starting to take advantage of the quiet and are getting a few zzz's. Come 8:00 though, you are done for the day. I could almost set my watch by it. You go down very easy. WHen it's time to go to bed you prefer to sleep right next to me. I can't out you in th co-sleeper anymore, haven't for about 2 months now, maybe 3. You are funny, if I set you down on this super soft blanket I put in there for you, you cry, but the minute I place you on the cold sheet in bed beside me you fall right to sleep. I'm getting more comfortable with you there and can sleep now, so I enjoy that closeness with you.

Slow down kiddo, you can take your time conquering this big world, I know you will do just that one day. You are driven and determined, but sweet as pie. A great combination. Love you, little one.

This morning Beckett saw Sean bring Marlowe down dressed in a very bright yellowy-orange 2 piece outfit with a cap and he said Marlowe is sunshine! I want to be sunshine, too. Sean grabbed Beckett's orange knit hat and placed it on his head and, There you go. You can be the moon if you want, or the sunshine. Beckett is obsessed with the moon. He really liked that idea. He jumped around saying I'm the moon. Marlowe is sunshine!

What a universe!

When S and I were married, he wanted our dance to be Fields of Gold by Sting. I had burned all the music for our reception on several CDs, but when we arrived at Heron Hill WInery I couldn't find them anywhere. The special music of my grandpa's band for my father-daughter dance, the music for Sean and I all back at the cottage, a good 30 minute drive away. Luckily, my mom's companion, Jon, volunteered to go back and get those CDs. He managed to find a few of them. I did get to dance to grandpas czech band music with Dad, and I shall hold that in my heart every day, but Jon couldn't find the song with the Sting song. Whenever I hear that song, I fall into it and listen to words and picture Sean and I dancing on our wedding day. Today I heard it on the radio while I drove home over lunch to feed Marlowe and see Beck and Mom. My eyes brimmed up with tears, the music warmed me all the way up and I had to call Sean and tell him how much a I love him.

This morning while I was running around I noticed Sean digging through some CDs. I figured he was picking some good music out for Beckett, like he often does, but suddenly I hear the familiar song and Fields of Gold filled our kitchen. He grabbed me in my pajamas and held me close dancing around our cluttered floor. We slid in between the bouncer and the highchair and stepped on Gracie's toy pheasant. And as I peeked over my husband's shoulder, I saw B standing on the sidelines soaking it all in. He was witnessing the strong love that created him. He stood there with his arms wrapped around him mimicking his daddy and studying our steps. I winked at him him several times while I soaked up some of that same love he was watching.

When the song was over, dear Sean, replayed it and picked up B and handed to me and said, now it's your turn to dance with mommy. Beck carefully put his head on my shoulder like we had done. He tucked his left arm between our bodies where daddy's hand had been holding mine and he put his other arm around my shoulders. We danced the whole song together just like that. daddy went and grabbed Marlowe and the four of us danced. At one point we were a jumble of baby, boy, mommy, and daddy. Marlowe laughed at her brother and stroked his hair. B said Marlowe likes Beckett. We added, Yes she LOVES you too. BEcket nuzzled her and then put his arms around his daddy's neck and hugged him and then wrapped the other arm around me and squeezed all of us tightly together.

Seriously, how did I get so lucky??

I really need to be writing everything down you say and do these days, because it is all so sweet and funny. You are the dearest boy my love.

Every night when we go to bed, you have milk on the couch and then daddy carries you up and I lay down with you until you fall asleep. These moments are like pure gold to me, Beckett. The things you say in this finite window before sleep takes you for the night are magical.

Last night, you were quiet for a bit and then you said, I'm Rudolph, mommy. No, You be Rudolph, I'm Dasher. Truly I'm thinking there is no way you could mean that you are Santa's reindeer Dasher. How could you know that. You watched the Rudolph special when it was on tv but only part of it and you only saw it that once. We didn't talk about all the other reindeers, how could you know about dasher?? But sure enough that is exactly who you were talking about and you wanted to be him an dyou wanted me to be Rudolph. Ok , I said. You be Rudolph, Mama, with a red nose, a red shiny nose like this EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee. You made the sound his nose makes in the special with your lips all pursed out and then you smiled. Ok I said and we both did the sound together about 4 times, laughing and giggling about it. The you said LEt's pull Santa's sleigh, K? So I started pretending to be a reindeer and moved the best I could while laying next to you in bed and act like I was flying and pulling Santa's sleigh. What you doing, Mama? I'm pulling Santa's sleigh. Oh! YEs, let's pull Santa's sleigh. SO there we both were flopping around like fish in the sand pretending to fly through the sky and land on rooftops. I kept thinking to myself I'm breaking all my ni-night rules, and we will porbably never fall asleep, but I can't not fly with B through this January night. I may never get the chance again. FInally I said, Rudolph is tired. I need to go to sleep, Dasher. You held your pointer finger up and said slowly and deliberately One More TIme. One More Time. Ok, one more... and off we went pulling Santa's slleigh together, until at last we came to our final rooftop. I nestled into the pillows and nuzzled your cheek and said, "Ni-night, Dasher". And you sweetly answered, "Ni-night, Rudolph." You are amazing , my boy.

what an incredible month. the first christmas with all of us together. beckett, you have been so fun to watch as christmas came to life for you--and because of you--for me again, too.

It started with getting our tree, which was so much fun. We went to Handley's tree farm in solon. they have a big wooden train you can sit in and have pictures taken if you sit still long enough to grab a shot--which you didn't b. they also have a small toddler train that goes around a small set of train tracks. b you were so excited to ride it, as we ride the one in city park all summer. you straight in the front, but when the engineer,an older, hard looking man, got out to bang on the engine to get it running, you watched with your wrinkled brow, and decided against the ride. smart boy, i say. so we watched from the side lines. marlowe you took your first ride in our hiking backpack, and as it was for b in the beginning, it was way too big for you. you peeked out over the top and smiled a lot until you fell asleep.

we listened to christmas songs everywhere we were--in the car, at home, i'd sing to you while falling asleep. we had carolers come to the house and b you loved it. you of course talked about it for days. daddy and i stood outside in december's cold winter air listening to our neighbors sing Hallelujigh and i held you and cried. it was beautiful. ifelt so blessed to have all of you there with me--daddy, too.

there were the christmas specials! In particular frosty the snowman. You loved him I found a second hand video and you would ask to watch him everyday beck. You started singing the song in short order. I am amazed at your vocabulary and ability to sing full songs at this early age. One day we were walking outside and went past Jan Browns house and you found this really old yellow brromstick. You marched all the way home with it and had to bring it in. You did several trips around the kitchen table with that thing until we finally got it back to jans house.
we made sugar cookies that b wanted to eat every chance he could. sorry m, you are still too little. we made a gingerbread train that b decorated and somehow didn't fall over. we made santas out of cotton balls and construction paper and reindeers out of your cut out handprints (for the antlers).

We decorated our perfect little canaan tree. we decided we wanted to start a tradition of getting you each a special ornament each year like i did as a child, so we went to the czech village. b you knew exactly what you wanted. i kept showing you the trumpet, because you love trumpets. there was a spell this fall when i would ask you what you dreamed about you would say...trumpets mommy. I showed you the snowman thinking you'd like him too because of your frosty addiction. but when the store owner came around the corner you telled out in your sweet little voice "haveny trains?!!?" It took me a minute before I realized you were really asking her for train ornaments. You act like such a big boy. Sure enough they had a long train and once daddy realized that you could drape it from branch to branch he thought we should buy it for you. You marveled at that train ornament when it hung on the tree. You decorated the bottom half all by yourself and wanted desperately to hold your train, but you listened and were so gentle with all of the ornaments. We didn't lose a single one. M you just loved the twinkly lights. We picked out the sweetest best santa ornament we could find for you. the minute I saw it I knew it was the perfect one. It sat up high on a shelf away from all the other ornaments. It was perfect. I hope you love your first special ornament we chose for you.

I'll finish the rest of our holidays story...