♥ GRANGE ♥

When I first found out that I was pregnant, I knew it was our last baby. We have known it for a long time. So I was determined to make the best and enjoy every part of my pregnancy. Gah. This has been the hardest one I've had. Weren't they supposed to get easier? The morning sickness lasted clear into the 2nd trimester and the exhaustion too. It's starting to come back a little bit now. I have been so careful to watch everything I've done so that I wouldn't have complications. I haven't gained any weight. Woot! That has not been easy either. Being on 'light duty' and not being able to do much is hard.
Last week at my check up, the doctor told me that we are still probably leaning towards having a c section because the placenta has not moved up enough to be out of the way. Blah. I'm really not excited about it at all. I know that people get them done all the time and are fine but the thought of being cut open scares the crap out of me.
Then 2 days later, I failed my glucose test by almost 100. I have gestational diabetes. I still wonder if I screwed up my test by drinking some pop so late the night before. The dr. didn't seem to think so. I have been testing my blood 4 times a day and it has been fine every time. I'll go in next week again and the dr will go over all of my tests and see what's next on the list.
It's nearing the end and I'm not in pain. I need to be more thankful for that I suppose. He is healthy and still in there. That's the most important part. We are all getting excited to meet him. He will be here a week early just to be safe. The end of August. We will be out numbered 2 to 1. And what the heck are we going to do with a boy?!
Cross your fingers.

Brookelin comes up with some of the strangest things. They just pop out and I can't help but wonder where she gets them.
Driving home from somewhere, Annie and I were talking about the 'proper' dating age. Brooke piped up and said, "I'm not gonna date when I'm 16. I'm just gonna have a boyfriend to make out with."
Um.... K. We'll talk about that one in a few years.

Playing with her sister last week, they were dressed up and playing royalty. All of the sudden I hear her say that her 'husband is dead now. They had to hang him.'
Oh man. Poor guy.

The city had a party for all of the kids that joined softball / tball this summer. It was at the pool in town. I'm not brave enough to take all 3 kids to the pool alone so grandma kept Ellie. Annie and Brooke had so much fun playing with everyone they knew.
Annie's getting so grown up. She went down the big slide over and over. I caught myself holding my breath when she would start down the slide. Then I would finally let go of my air when she came up out of the water. It's scary watching my baby take risks like that and love it.

When we were done at the zoo, we headed over to the Gateway for a late lunch and a caramel apple from the Rocky Mtn Chocolate Factory. I've only been wanting one for a couple of months now. So worth the wait. mmmm

Then the girls changed into their suits and played in the fountains for a little while. The sun had come out really strong around then so we didn't stay too long.

It was a great time to spend with the family. We take that kind of stuff for granted sometimes.

Thanks for the day out, Haylee & Tim! Love you guys!

Ashamed.
I lost my cool today. I didn't beat anyone. I didn't break anything. But I hurt some little hearts. I've been struggling the past couple of weeks. I don't know if it's stress from pregnancy stuff or stress from other things going on but I just haven't been able to keep things under control.
I booked our summer full so that no one would get bored. But I'm at the point that taking the kids anywhere is becoming too much of a burden so we haven't even been doing half of the activities. I can't keep them contained or near me when we go somewhere. One child is way too outspoken and defiant that I get worried at the things that she'll say to people. She sees the world as hers to conquer. In her eyes, no one will hurt her or would lie to her. One child is trying to become more independent and wants me to just leave her alone so that she can do what she wants. The other one is trying so much to be like me and I feel like I'm setting such a poor example of the way a mother should be that I don't want her to do that. When someone tells me that they love to be around my kids and to call them if I ever need a break, I think, Oh that's nice. But in reality, I know how hard to handle my kids can be and I don't want someone else to have to get that frustration.
I'm grasping for rope but I can't reach any.
I get so tired of hearing people tell me that I need to just let them be kids. I know that they're kids and I know that things will work out in the end but that doesn't mean I should let them do whatever they want. That's not going to teach them anything.
I'm struggling with my testimony. There. I said it. Please don't judge. If you do, keep it to yourself. It's so hard to sit through my classes when I have a child who HATES nursery and screams the entire time so she ends up with me. And I worry if one of my children has her teachers tied up hostage somewhere. So many days, I leave church and feel more frustrated than spiritually fulfilled. I don't believe that I have to actually attend church every single Sunday to have the spirit dwell in our homes. I believe that spending that quality time with my family is what helps with that. Lately, however, I haven't been taking the time or being patient enough to let that in. I did stop praying for patience though. You know what they say about when you ask for patience, the Lord gives you something to help you learn it. Then I get to the point that I don't dare ask for help because I don't think I deserve it. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has felt this way.
I'm struggling with schedules.
That's my own fault. I just don't know how to get it back on track. I'm talking about it all. We've done so well at keeping schedules so the girls always know what to expect and we know what to expect from them. I dropped the ball, I think. I need to get the chores, meals, reading/learning, nap time, bed time and all that stuff back on track. If someone wants to help me plan it out on paper, I will be more than happy to accept the help. (I'm teetering on begging)
I'm so scared to fail that sometimes I just don't even try.
There is so much more that I can't seem to get into coherent thoughts, let alone written down.
Sorry. Had to get some of it off my chest.

I know. I'm taking the easy way out of this one. We like to play and do things together as a family as often as we can. Jason's schedule varies so our play time does too. Sure. We have daily chores that get done and meetings and activities to get to. I think it might be impossible to go into great detail about all of our happenings. I update when I can and hope I get it all out the way I want so that when I go back and read, I know what we did and remember the times.

Something that I have been struggling with lately.

This is for my sis in law Alisha.
She calls and asks me for the recipe all the time. Not sure why she hasn't written it down though. Here you go, Nutt butt.

Poppy Seed Chicken
*5 cups chopped cooked chicken
*1 (10.5 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken soup
*1 cup sour cream
*1 1/2 cups crushed buttery round crackers
*1 teaspoon poppy seeds
*1/2 cup butter

Preheat the oven to 350.
Place the chicken into a 9x13 inch baking dish.
In a medium bowl, stir together the condensed soup and sour cream. Pour over the chicken.
In a separate bowl, stir together the crushed crackers, poppy seeds and melted butter.
Sprinkle over the chicken and sauce.
Bake for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until the top of the casserole is browned and the sauce is bubbly.

We always serve ours over rice. Yummy yummy.