I think my friend Christine must think I'm crazy with how I get obsessed over some of her recipes and eat them over and over. This current addiction all started after Geoff's birthday party and Ethan came home with this bag of colored popcorn. I thought, Ethan doesn't like sweets too much, so I will just take a little bit. Next thing I know the bag is completely empty and he's asking where his popcorn is! Bad Mommy! So I asked her for the recipe because I couldn't stop thinking about it all that day and the next. So I made some, and today I made some more.
It is so yummy and I truly can't help myself for eating way too much of it. It's added to my list of things that I will eat until I'm sick. You know, Oreo's, Caramel popcorn, wafer cookies and now Jello popcorn. I'd venture to say it is even BETTER than caramel corn, but that might be pushing it just a little. :)

Andrew helped me stir, measure and pour ingredients. I think he had fun. It's a huge step for me to cook with my kids. I wish I had the loving patience some other moms have and allow my kids to cook with me all the time. My mom had the patience, I'm slowly working on it. When I think back actually, I was making chocolate chip cookies by myself when I was 8. Craziness.

Last night, some unpleasant things happened. It was late and my friends on this side of the world would be in bed, but I needed to talk to someone. After a call to a west coast friend I realized I could call my Dad and Ruth. They were the perfect people to talk to. I didn't think Jeff would be awake when I got home, and amazingly enough he was. So I got to talk to him. Then this morning I read Steph's blog and there was a quote on there "Dear God, thank you for this beautiful life and forgive me if I don't love it enough." I realized as I was surrounded by my sweet boys (because they were so excited to see Steph's face!) that I have a beautiful life. These unpleasant things that happened will only allow me to enjoy my life that much more. I am so blessed to have the family that I have. Not everybody had parents that loved them as much as mine. Not everyone has big brothers that never were mean to them and that I can count on just as much as my Dad. I have 5 dads! How lucky am I? Not everyone had a mom that would do anything for them, no matter the cost to their own desires or wants. I have 3 sisters in law that love me as though I were their flesh and blood. 4 if you count Ashley :). And I love them too and have a hard time remembering when they were not part of my life. Now there is Ruth! How lucky am I to have a step-mom that loves me like my mom loves me! (Since I know you read this, I LOVE YOU!)



I have a husband who loves me despite all of my weaknesses and faults that he gets to experience first hand. He knows me better than I give him credit for. :) And then there are my boys. My sweet, wild and crazy bounce off the walls, and so loving boys. Where would I be without them? I haven't even gotten to my friends. I have friends that are like family in every state and place I have ever lived. It's hard to keep up with all of them, but when we do connect its like there was a day between visits.
I've known all of these things for a while now. But when unpleasant situations arise, I'm reminded even more of these positive things so that I can move past the bad things.

I'm taking advantage of the ridiculous heat to laze around in the house and catch up on all the blogs I've been missing. I know people only put their best foot forward on their blogs, because who wants to write or read about the mundane things of daily life with a family? But there are times that it makes me feel like I'm totally lacking in the departments of being a fun mom, being a creative mom, being a super housekeeper and over all feeling like I just am not turning out to be the person I wanted to be at this point in my life. I will express these thoughts to Jeff sometimes and he looks at me kind of funny and tells me I'm being too hard on myself. I probably am, we are after all our own worst critics. But the past few weeks watching friends struggle, struggling myself it got me thinking, does our Heavenly Father look at us this way? Are we expecting way more out of ourselves than He is? When I know that my children can do better than they are doing, I try to be encouraging and get them to "rise to the occasion". But sometimes we have to just accept that this is their best efforts for where they are on that day. Is that how He looks at me? When I stumble and fall, does he get frustrated because he knows I can do better? or does he lovingly help me up and give me a hug and tell me it will be alright? What about the times when I'm not sure that my sorries are said the right way, or often enough? Are they still accepted? I try my hardest every day to be the best I can be. Some days (like when I got put on the President's list at school) I feel like I'm accomplishing the things I want to and I feel good. But most of the time I look past all the good I'm doing and just see all the stuff I'm lacking. Not stuff, that's not the right word, but I can't think of a better one at this time. I have this list in my head of how I want to keep my house, how I want to raise my kids and how I want to be as a wife and a friend and even a student. This year during the summer I've had a hard time doing it all. School, cleaning, playing with the kids and enjoying some private time with Jeff or just by myself has become too much! I cannot do it all. I CAN'T. I WANT to. Oh I forgot to add spending time in the temple, reading my scriptures, keeping up with my spiritual needs. I should be able to do all this right? Oh one more, exercising. How am I supposed to exercise when it is a bazillion degrees outside? Anyway, I'm getting off topic. So what do you think? Are we harder on ourselves than our Heavenly Father is? I know he loves me. I also know I'm way harder on myself than I probably should be, but how else do we improve if we don't take the time to evaluate where we are lacking? What do you think?