Backside of Forty (archive)

Dylan has been doing very well since he transitioned back to public school, following Christmas break. The biggest difficulty, though, is with his art teacher. He has art every Wednesday, and he goes to bed on Monday and Tuesday with a building sense of dread. He hasn't exactly had a problem with this teacher, he is just afraid of her. He says she's REALLY mean and impatient.

Last week, leading up to Wednesday, he prayed for a good art class and asked Jen and I to pray specifically for that. When Wednesday came, he had a good day because his teacher "was in a good mood". Again this week, he is following the same pattern, but he shared with me this evening that he feels the Lord has brought this into his life as a test. He felt that it was a test to see if he would trust God to help him in this situation. He told me that the Lord answered his prayer because his teacher was nice last week.

While I was really excited (and maybe a little surprised) about his mature perspective, I felt the need to redirect him slightly. I didn't want him to think that every time he prays, the trouble will be removed. Trying not to burst his bubble, I gently reminded him that God always answers our prayer, but he doesn't always answer it in the way that is the easiest, or most desirable. I told him that sometimes he might pray for art class and still have a rough day. He got it, and questioningly finished the thought for me... God might instead give him the strength to go through a difficult day?

Although I, the Dad, gently redirected my 8 year old son, he didn't realize that I learned the bigger lesson from the conversation. Although I have prayed about the difficulty of my unemployment, I'm not sure I view the trial through as mature eyes as my son viewed his trial. Oh, intellectually, I know all this, but, being the adult that I am, I tend to pray and then go try to make things happen in my own strength. My son, instead, prayed and then actually trusted the God of his prayers to help him "pass the test". Thank you Dylan, for reinforcing this powerful lesson.

As he asked me tonight at bedtime to pray for art class tomorrow, and asked me to also pray for him while he was at school tomorrow, the second lesson that was reinforced was the importance of diligently uplifting my kids in prayer. Oh, I pray for them, but not always as diligent as I should. I promised him that I would pray for him while he is at school, but I also made a mental note to take this particular aspect of fatherhood much more seriously. He's counting on me to be in his corner, and I want him to be able to confidently know that I've got his back and I'm supporting him with prayer.

It's been a pretty long winter, and we are ready to move on. We are looking forward to some camping weather to return. Now that our family is larger, we either need to invest in a larger tent, or boot someone out! I chose the latter option. An important part of camping is setting up, tearing down, and maintaining your gear. Dylan and Zachary are getting old enough to start learning about this as they move out "on their own".

Knowing this, Jen's Aunt Patty and Uncle Kenny got the boys their very own tent for Christmas. What fun is a tent for Christmas when you can't use it for at least 5 more months? We fixed that this weekend! I am finished (I think) with all the framing modifications and repairs to the "work" side of the house and I have the area cleaned up and awaiting the building inspector's visit. Last night, we took advantage of the empty, unfinished living room and camped out... in! We're planning to make it a two night stay!

Ever find yourself shaking your head at today's youth? Well, there are good kids out there, and I'd like to introduce you to one. I've never personally met Alexis, but I know her family through international adoption and blogging. Alexis is 15 years old and she has developed a heart for others... especially orphans. She has just launched a new business doing blog makeovers. What is her main motivation for earning money? She is primarily earning money for mission trips and projects to help orphans.

Could you or someone you know use a blog makeover? I actually like mine a little on the plain side, but I at least wanted to help her out by spreading the word! Please visit Blog Designs by Alexis and see what she has to offer. You can also use the sidebar button to visit her. Best wishes, Alexis, on your new business!

The thermometer at our home recorded over sixty degrees today! Although unseasonable for February, we'll gladly take it! Jen turned off the heat and opened a window for much of the afternoon. I took all four kids for a walk just before dinner... without coats! (As you can see, Ben didn't actually walk.) Ben has spent the majority of his life indoors, so it was a novelty for him to get out for a breath of fresh air. Sixty degrees won't last long, but it is a reminder that spring is on it's way... and I'm ready!

Zachary informed us, the other day, that when he grows up he wants to join the circus and be a clown! While Zachary is the one of my four children that I could see pulling that off, it's not exactly the path I would choose for him. But, then again, I don't WANT to choose for him.

What I do hope, though, is to help my children explore many career paths, and choose one that they feel well suited for, possibly even a calling toward. What matters to me is not that they choose a path of prestige, or wealth; but that they choose a path that fulfills what God created them to be. As long as they choose a reputable career that meets their family's needs, and they pursue that career with diligence and honor, I plan to be proud of them.

When Dylan was about three, he was obsessed with heavy equipment. His somewhat limited vocabulary included words like, "bulldozer, backhoe, and excavator". He would often say that he wanted to drive a bulldozer when he grew up. At some point, an individual informed this aspiring three year-old bulldozer operator that he should go to college. Having two degrees that I was not using, I defended his choice and affirmed that I would only push him to be the best bulldozer driver he could be. (I also told him he needed to find a way to let me drive the dozer once in a while.) He pondered this and decided that he would own his own "scruction company" and give me a job. His interest in construction has since waned, but the point is, that he was not concerned with wealth or fame, but knew what he loved.

This is one of the life lessons that I have learned the hard way... or, perhaps, I am still learning. I joke that I am still not sure what I want to do when I grow up, but it really is not that funny. I don't deny that my career choices have been pretty misguided, which is one of the main reasons I am currently having such a difficult time marketing myself to potential employers. I don't necessarily fault anyone for this. My parents wanted me to go to college, because they did not have that opportunity, but never pressured me. They did encourage me to explore options, even those not requiring college. I did feel pressure, though. I graduated in the top ten percent of my high school class, and many just assumed that I would go to college and do great things. It was almost as if I felt pressured, by society, that not going to college was to waste good intelligence. In fact, though, there are many professions that do not necessarily require a college education, that are not a "waste" of good intelligence. I recently visited a technical school, at which I applied for a position, and it struck me that I probably would have been much happier and much more successful if I had received a two year degree from that or a similar institute, than I have been with the six years of Bachelor's/Master's degrees that are doing little more than decorating my bedroom wall. If only I knew then what I'm realizing now...

A classic example of a good choice is my best high school friend. He, too, was, and is, very intelligent. But, he decided that he was meant to work with is hands and college was not the route he chose. After high school, he pursued an apprenticeship as a bricklayer, and has since worked his whole adult life in that profession. He is very good at what he does, takes great pride in his work, lives in a brick home that he personally built, an has made a good living from his chosen profession. Could he have been a doctor? A lawyer? Any number of other professions that we commonly think of as having great prestige? Absolutely. Did he waste his intelligence? Absolutely not!

So you want to be a clown, Zachary? While I think you're just "clowning" around, I do hope you will grow to know yourself and the God who created you, and that you will study your options fully and carefully. Then, go be the best you can be at whatever you choose to give your life to... even if it is the circus!

If you've followed this blog a while, you know that we are in the midst of a pretty major remodeling project, and thus, not living in our entire house. We are, therefore, a bit crowded, especially after adding two more children. We seem to be constantly shuffling furniture to make the best use of any available space.

Because Ben is the smallest, and last to arrive, he has taken whatever space he can get. He started out sleeping in the bassinet, then moved up to the pack-n-play, but finally he has his own bed... not his own room, mind you, but his own bed. This week, I rearranged more furniture to get his crib in our bedroom. Jen recently read that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies "room in" with parents for the first year, so were on track with the experts, right? Well, at any rate, Ben is really enjoying his bed!