Backside of Forty (archive)

In twelve-plus years of marriage, my wife has only been away a handful of times, by herself, for some "me-time". Maybe a girls night at her Aunt's house here, or a women's retreat there. Mostly just a night, or two... or TEN!

Jen has long wanted to go on a cruise. I can think of better things to do. Maybe I'd actually like it, but it just doesn't seem like "me". Her parents were going with her Aunt on a five-day Caribbean cruise and wanted a fourth person to go. Her Mom (probably not thinking I'd agree to it) offered to pay her way if she'd go.

Well, let's see, she IS the primary care-giver for our 4 children... but wait, I am (again and still) unemployed. Go, honey... I gotcha covered!

So, for the past ten days (5 on the cruise, a couple driving each way, and a few to visit her Grandpa in Alabama) I've been "Mr. Mom" to kids 9, 7, 5 and 17 months. And... I think I've done a pretty good job. And... I've learned ALOT about my wife's world! (Before I sound too knight-in-shining-armour-like, understand that such an act is a bit out of character for me. OK, maybe more than a bit.)

Here are a few of my observations:

• Being "Mom" is a BIG job.
• Men can effectively and efficiently keep a home running, but can never replace Mom.
• Moms don't often have the luxury of calling in "sick". (I've battled a bad cold for about the last.. oh, ten days, or so!)
• 17-month-olds can be exhausting, but also cute and cuddly enough to make you forget the exhausting part.
• Eczema sucks! (Zachary has fairly severe eczema, and trying to keep his skin maintained is nearly the equivalent of a part-time job... and he's STILL miserable.)
• Running errands with multiple young children is a big chore.
• I'd never want to be a single parent.
• Kids are ALWAYS hungry and laundry is NEVER "done".
• Moms of young children rarely eat a hot, uninterrupted meal.
• My kids are slobs and they think Mom = maid.
• They probably learned it from me.
• Our home needs more delegation and teamwork.
• I need to lead the change.
• It felt really good to do my part to make this possible for my wife.
• I'm really looking forward to having her home.

So, tomorrow it's back to life as usual... or is it? I hope to be a little better husband and dad for the experience of walking in "her" shoes for ten days. I am looking forward, though, to resuming my role as "Mr. Dad"!
(Perhaps she will guest-post some photos here!)

Zachary:  I like the smell of your armpits, Dad.

Dad:  My armpits?

Zachary:  ...DEODORANT!  I mean your DEODORANT!

This blog post was prompted by The Father of Five, who occassionally stops by to read "Backside of Forty".  I'm not sure how he found me, but since the majority of the bloggers I follow are female, I enjoy popping in his world every now and then to read a manly blog for a change. 

His recent post, "Show me where YOU blog", sparked some curiosity.  He wrote:

Since “Best Bud Ed” was coming over to my house this morning, I cleaned up the “disaster area” that is USUALLY our computer desk. When I was done, I stepped back, gazed upon my workspace – and began wondering about everyone else’s.

Call it creepy, or a tad bit voyeuristic – but I often wonder what type of setting the creative minds behind many of the blogs I enjoy work in or at.

He posted a picture of his desk and asked other bloggers to post the place from which their blogs originate.

Interesting.  Or, am I also "a tad bit voyeuristic"?

Well, Father of Five, it's not much, but here it is:

Dad: (while jamming to the AOL radio Classic Disco station) Do you like this music?

Lily: No.

Dad: What kind of music do you like?

Lily: Cool music.

Dad: What's cool music?

Lily: I not know. This not cool.

We woke up this morning to a beautiful blanket of fresh snow... about 14 inches. I took a few photos before the pristine beauty was spoiled by shovels and snow blowers.

It was fun until his glove fell off!

This morning was our hearing in probate court for the re-finalization of Lily's adoption. For many international adoptive families, this is a desired step to obtain adoption decrees in English and an American birth certificate. In our case, it held much more significance. Since I traveled alone to bring Lily home from China, she did not obtain her citizenship upon arriving in America, like a majority of her peers. We were required to re-adopt her in our county court to fulfill the requirements for her citizenship. Because our county requires a child to live in the home for at least a year prior to filing a petition to finalize an adoption, today was finally Lily's day in court. So, although the adoption was finalized in China, today was the final requirement to officially re-affirm that Lily is our legal daughter, and to officially change her name. AND... today she is finally an official, flag-waving, red-white-and-blue American citizen! (Although we still have to file a long list of documents and pay yet another fee to the Department of Homeland Security to obtain a certificate to prove it. Can't anything bureaucratic ever be simple?) Congratulations, Lily!