my free moment

Dad had such a heart for others.  Always caring, always looking out for those he loved.

I don’t have many early memories of Dad other than him working hard in the yard.  Occasionally setting up the sprinkler for us to run through in the summertime.   

I remember day trips to the Peaks of Otter.  Picking up fried chicken on the way to a picnic beside Otter Creek.   Shelley and Sherry reminded me recently about how Dad carried me on his shoulders while we hiked Sharp Top as a family.   And believe it or not, I have a visual memory of being carried on his shoulders through the woods.  What a good Dad.

He was always cutting grass and doing yard work for other people.    Realizing later in my life, that he was so busy with those side jobs to provide for his family.  Raising three girls in that small house, at 718 Crestwood Circle…. We always joke about how in the world he survived in that house with four females and only one bathroom!
It seemed that there was always a house project happening.  Most likely just normal home maintenance.  He constructed extra bedrooms in the basement for Shelley and Sherry.  I remember him building a new deck. He was handy.  He had to be.

Dad cared for our neighbors, except for those huge great danes next door.  I remember him arguing with our neighbor,Gladys, over the dogs.   There was probably a lot more to the story, but my memories just include Dad building a wooden fence to separate our yard from the chain link fence and those huge dogs that barked and jumped, as high as the fence, whenever we played outside.

I didn’t realize it until I was older, but Dad stepped in as a father figure to our neighbor, Darrell.   He taught Darrell about lawn care and took Darrell under his wing, of sorts. I don’t know the extent of what wisdom Dad imparted on Darrell, but I assume just handyman guy stuff.   Darrell was always showing up to see “Mac”.  Even as Dad got older, Darrell would stop in for visits.   

We were so fortunate to have my Papa and Froggie living on our street.   Dad loved them and it was such a blessing that we lived close enough for Dad to help them out as they aged.  I remember family gatherings at Froggie’s house, and Dad just smiling so big and enjoying the family time.  I remember Froggie giving him a cold beer to drink after cutting her grass or helping around the house.

Dad cared deeply for his family and his elders.  As a kid I remember going with him to visit Ruth and Massie.    And especially when Ruth was living on her own, with caregivers, I feel like Dad looked out for her.    He also looked out for the sisters on New Hampshire Ave, (I think it was Gladys and Margaret) who I assume he started cutting grass for… but it morphed into him helping them out around the house, and just checking in on them.  Later on I remember him talking about visiting Big Mac and Dot.  Keeping in touch with the elder family members was important to him.

Coming from a family of Malcolms, I understand he was called Pee Wee.   Years ago, I mentioned to Dad that I had told my friend, Jamie, that his nickname was “Pee Wee”. He quickly and adamantly said, “NOT TO JAMIE WOOLDRIDGE.”   Jamie and I will still laugh about that.

Dad LOVED his siblings and extended family.   Those family Ocean Isle trips were a HUGE deal to him.   And the yearly Christmas gatherings.   I can remember that huge smile he would get talking to his siblings…. And how he would stand with his hands clasped behind his back, smiling and watching the family.   He was so sweet. 

Remembering those family beach trips…Our immediate family continued the tradition over the years.  Getting to the beach with the family was so important to him.  One year, his Mercury Grand Marquis broke down on the way to Ocean Isle, and in a pinch for transportation, Dad called a taxi!  He, Mom and Shelley transferred all of their luggage and beach supplies, and took a three and a half hour taxi ride to get to the beach house.  They invited the taxi driver to stay for a spaghetti dinner before heading back.  

Dad had great empathy for kids who had lost fathers.
When my friend Sabrina’s Dad died, she was only 12 years old.  She still remembers my Dad hugging her at the funeral and how he always had concern and care for her over the years….. Even sending diapers to her, after her daughter was born.  

Dad cared deeply for my widowed friend, Lyn and her two boys.   He and mom were happy to have them join in for several of our Thanksgiving dinners.  

Dad was always ready to step in and help people.   My friend, Sandra has memories of Dad, in his trademark sweater, greeting everyone on the aisle before church service, and making sure everyone was comfortable in their seats. 
Dad saw needs and met them to the best of his ability.   One time, even giving his car to a family in need. 
Dad and mom were both so generous to us girls, sacrificing much to help us out as we grew up and had families of our own.   They gave us our first cars and helped us financially when life didn’t go as planned.   And I don’t really remember having to buy diapers for my boys.  Dad and mom would show up with diapers in tow whenever they visited. 

Dad was always first in line to help out when I moved houses.  He was ready to paint, hang things, or do whatever was needed to help us get settled in.  He was also the first person I would call when I was having technical issues, with anything, after Thayer died.  He would drop everything, show up, fix broken things or solve house problems.  He was eager to help after Greg and I purchased our current house.  He helped Greg paint our garage.

Let’s skip ahead to Dad and Anthony.  What a duo.   From what I understand, Dad kept seeing their neighbor, walking to church on Sundays…. So he stopped to give him a ride.   Thus began a many year friendship between the two.    Anthony is on fire for the Lord!    I think he and Dad had lots of conversations, I assume about faith, life, and everyday things.   Anthony helped out mom and dad as Dad started declining, and he was faithful to visit Dad in the nursing home, right up to the end.   Anthony has become part of the family, continuing to help Mom with the yard and keeping an eye out for her.

Dare I say that Dad’s greatest calling in life was that of “Papa”?   He lived for his grandkids.

When Thayer died in 2008, Dad stepped up in HUGE ways for my boys.   Daniel and Lucas were so fortunate to have a Papa so close-by who would do anything for those kids.   He spent countless hours with the boys.    They played hard, fished, worked in the yard, took trips to the gem mine, did metal detecting, shot bb guns, and built all kinds of things, including the famous bridge over the creek.    Dad was SO proud of my boys.    He loved all of his grandchildren with a fierce love.   He was so patient to sit and play whatever the kids wanted to play for hours on end.   There are no words to express how much I appreciate the love and influence Dad shared with my boys.  Dad and Mom were so instrumental in loving my boys and helping me as we journeyed through life without Thayer. 

Dad was also human. His care for others may have taken his attention away from home at times.   And oftentimes I know mom must have felt overlooked.   But… if anything Dad was fiercely loyal to Mom   No matter how their relationship was day to day, when it came down to it, Dad was committed.   When mom was in the hospital, on several occasions, Dad was there EVERY day, from morning to night.  He would not leave her side.  His loyalty and commitment through almost 59 years of marriage was how he showed his love for mom.  For better or worse.

Dad loved animals.  The sacred cat cemetery in the yard was testament of how much he loved cats.  Puddles, Kit Kat, the kittens who were victims of Laxton Road, and the 23 year old cat, Little Girl (who belonged to his good friend, Floyd) are the ones I know about in the cemetery…. But there may be more.
Dad and mom fed the wild birds for as long as I can remember.  Dad always had a bird book on hand and seemed to know all about the local birds.   I considered him an expert on local animals.    I have a vivid memory of when a huge black snake startled me in my shed. I called Dad in utter panic.  He showed up, cool as a cucumber, picked up the snake and casually took it back into the woods.   

Was he afraid of anything?

Actually…. Dad was a worrier.   He worried to the extreme about his loved ones.   Even though he was a man of faith, he had seen enough of the world to be cautious.   Mom told us as adults that if it was up to Dad that we wouldn’t have been allowed to be involved in extracurricular activities as children.   He was so protective.    

Dad’s catch phrases were “be careful” and “lock your doors”.   He would say that every time we parted ways.   What he really meant was “I love you”.  
We never doubted his love for us.  

Dad was our biggest cheerleader.

He was the best Dad.

He was the best Papa.

I am so thankful for our time with him.    And having faith in Jesus, we will see him again.