The Johnsons: Uncut

Talea is a natural with animals.

Hyatt doesn't like animals, but he's overcome some of his fear lately and he actually fed the little goat.

Kiersa, though interested in looking at the kid from a distance,
wanted nothing to do with it up close.

Paisli and Talea like animals, and Hyatt and Kiersa are too timid.

It's crazy how you can raise four kids the same way around all types of animals, yet half of them can be scared, and the other half are brave. They've all been raised with animals in the house too. It's really strange.

Kiersa is barely two and can swing on a swing by herself. You may even hear her chanting, "touch the moon, kick your butt, touch the moon, kick your butt,..." as she pumps her legs back and forth. She's my youngest at learning how to do this alone. Tilly was 4!

While down in Utah, we ran over to the Harley store re-opening with Maren and her family and had a great time. I thought we'd just be looking at bikes (boooooorrrrrrring), but there were all kinds of fun things to do, so we had a blast! And best of all, everything was FREE! My kind of place! Sadly, I left my camera in the car (thinking we'd just be looking at a sea of motorcycles), which was too far away to run back for, so all these pics are from a camera phone. Ugh.

I had to get this pic of our Johnson & Johnson boys.

There was a rock-climbing wall there, so most of us took a turn on it. The boys were put on the toughest side, so big Hy made it up about half-way...
And little Hy made it up a few holds.

Talea had the next hardest side and made it about 3/4 of the way up.

I picked the easiest side and made it up to the top.

Talea, thanks to her fiercely competitive nature, climbed up my side after me, and also made it to the top.

After that the kids jumped on the bungee thing.

Then they rode on little electric motorcycles and played carnival games.

We found a police Harley and the kids convinced the cop to let them sit on it.

Then we went inside and got the kids tattooed.

Note how Kiersa is missing from this activity. She is SO afraid of everything! She refused to let them paint on her.

Last, the fireman were letting kids run a muck in their truck, so we let the kids join the party.

Kiersa finally got the guts up to go inside.

Tons of fun and it didn't cost us a penny! Gotta love family-oriented communities.

Talea seems to find great delight in decorating her sisters' foreheads with stickers.

Paisli at 15 months old:


And Kiersa at 4 months old:

Preparing for Hyrum's birthday was cursed from the start, and I believe I know why. Every time I try to keep a secret from Hyrum, I run into all kinds of hazards and stress, and it's never worth it in the end. The last time I tried to surprise him with a gift for his birthday (a BBQ), I about had a nervous breakdown and had to recruit the help of others to join in my web of lies to throw him off. I swore off surprises after that. I usually just tell him everything in order to preserve my sanity, and my life!

So, since I procrastinate and have no genuine creativity that isn't stolen from someone else's idea, I waited until the day before Hyrum's birthday to search for a present.

My plan: Wait for Hyrum to leave for school (Monday is his longest day of school), then head out to find him a birthday present in Idaho Falls.

The reality: I ended up having to dodge the lightning bolts of disaster and thunder of stress as I once again tried to "surprise" Hyrum.

I got the kids ready in record time that morning, but then I couldn't find my keys. Luckily the van was unlocked, and there is a spare inside, but then I realized I wouldn't have a spare key for Hyrum's car, which I needed in order to snag the GPS out of it. (I found out later it was at home.) Without GPS, I knew I'd be lost in Idaho Falls since I rarely go there and never pay attention to how we get to any locations.

I set out anyway, hoping for the best.

I took an exit that I thought sounded familiar, but it ended up being one I've never been on. You want to know the sad part? I found out later that if I'd just followed that road off the exit, it would have led me exactly to where I was wanting to go. But, since such good fortune rarely smiles on my misadventures, I turned off that road after a few miles of feeling lost. I took a right turn and ended up getting myself lost for close to an hour, following roads with familiar names, but never ending up anywhere close to where I wanted to be. I learned later that each time I'd taken a right, I should have taken a left, or vice versa. It's my directional curse (which is part of the reason I was anxious to stop driving semi). I accidentally found WinCo (good to know) and Fred Meyer (not so useful) when I was looking for Target (one of my favorites). I found Home Depot (made a quick stop) when I was looking for Sportsman's Warehouse.

Just so you know, I hate feeling lost. I finally stopped at a gas station once I realized I was heading off into the boonies and that each road I thought was a few blocks from getting me to my destination was in truth leading me on a wild goose chase. The man at the counter told me that if I retraced my steps and just made the opposite turns I had made, I'd be right at my destination.

Great.

But, as it always turns out, bad can turn to worse. As I was sitting at the front of the line at a traffic light, I heard some odd, loud noises, then the red light I was watching flickered, almost imperceptibly, then suddenly there an explosion of loud booms and sizzles and electrical zaps above my head. I willed the light to turn green, but nothing happened. A moment later, amid more noise and confusion, I found myself being showered with sparks from the traffic light overhead. I envisioned the enormous metal pole stretched above my van crashing down on my kids, and then I saw my van ablaze in my mind, so red light or not, I hit the gas and took off! I think it may have turned green. I'm not really sure, and I really didn't care. No cars were coming and my heart was trying to leap out of my chest!!!

Oh, just in case you are sitting there, gripped with fear, sitting on the edge of your seat wondering if we were crushed, electrocuted, and burned, I'd better tell you...we're fine. I saw in my mirror that the lights just went black and then started flashing red, and there were no flames streaming behind me.

So, anyway, I ended up finding his gift at Sportman's Warehouse: a double sleeping bag, on sale thankfully, and a Hiking Idaho book. The problem now was trying to keep the kids from spilling the beans since they were with me.

Hyrum always tries to weasel my surprises out of the kids, so I told them that when he asked where we went today, to tell him we went to the Kisses and Hugs store, and if he asks what we got, to tell him we got kisses and hugs. Talea, frustrated with Hyrum's teasing, said she would rather tell him we got boogers and snot, since he always says that to her. I was fine with them saying anything except what we really got and where we actually went. I preferred he didn't even know I was in Idaho Falls so he wouldn't start guessing.

That night, I was frazzled from a day of shopping in the rain and traveling alone with the kids. I'm so not used to that! I thought I would burst when I couldn't tell Hyrum about the traffic light explosion, or my frustration from deciding which sleeping bag to go with, or the cool things I saw at different stores, or how I grudgingly pumped gas for the fourth time since moving to Idaho, or how I'd been lost forever, or how I couldn't find my keys or GPS, and everything else. I tell Hyrum EVERYTHING! I detest secrets! It ruined my day.

But...the kids didn't spill the beans. Hyrum did quiz the kids on what we did and where we went and what we got, but the sweethearts just responded with my coached answers. Only Kiersa mentioned that we saw reindeer (she meant an elk statue and elk heads at the store), but he thought she meant she saw deer that were in the rain. Phew!

Now, for his actual birthday.

I got up at 5:30am (have I ever mentioned how much I loathe getting up at an hour earlier than 6?) so I could shower and put on makeup for his big day (that's my fall-back present since I rarely wear makeup on a daily basis), then I ran to the store to get supplies for breakfast. I planned on going to WinCo while in Idaho Falls, but I found it first of all the stores, and I needed it last since I needed perishables, but I was too frazzled by the end of our shopping to stomach one more store, and by nightfall, I'd completely forgotten about groceries altogether.

My planned menu for his birthday breakfast: bacon, egg and cheese biscuits and orange juice. 

Do you think that's what he got after my preparation and early shopping? Not really. He got a couple of tough, crusty eggs and a few slices of bacon.

I forgot to buy eggs! And the store was out of the frozen biscuits he loves. And I forgot to buy pan spray, or even use butter or something, so the 2 eggs I had in the fridge that I cooked for him (on high heat) were crusted to the pan. But, the bacon was good at least. I also forgot to buy him a cheesecake for that night, since that's his favorite, thinking we still had a box of it in the cupboard. Nope.

So breakfast bombed, poor guy. He went off to school and came home around lunch to find me doing school with Tilly and playing gardener and lumberjack outside before it rained. Hy's birthday was the only dry day it's been for a while and was going to be for a while also, so I really needed to get the lawn mowed, vermiculite added to and turned in the garden, branches cut up and bald spots fixed in the grass.

I did pause to go to lunch with him at his favorite pizza buffet, Craigos, then we came home and he played on the computer with trailer plans, so I hit the yard again.

Tara Smith was in town with her kids, so they came over for a visit, which was lucky since I didn't have any plans for Hyrum's birthday. For dinner, we just had cereal since we were still kind of full from pizza, then the kids had a bath and got ready for bed.

I couldn't find my camera all day! I looked and looked but never could find it. Turns out it was buried in the depths of my diaper bag abyss and wasn't found until 9:15 pm. So the only picture I have of the whole day is this one, right before prayers.

So in summary: No cake. No celebration. No decorating. No plans. Typical Tiana-style planning. But even with all the flops, which are typical in my life, I at least managed to get him a present! Score one for the wife!

Happy Birthday, Hy. Sorry it wasn't that memorable for you, but it will be for me!

My newest obsession: my laminator (or is "er" at the end?) in action.


I love it! It's small, easy to use, and practical. I use it all the time. I got it at Walmart and the laminating sheets are found there also. Sure there are times when I wish it was bigger or that I had one of those angled heat tools to really securely heat the creases so you're sure not to have it come apart, but this works for me...for now.

On Tuesday, Grandpa Mike dropped in to see us, so we went with him out to the elk ranch he's running and drove around with him on his rounds.

It's a huge ranch, mostly for hunting, with buffalo, sheep and elk on it. Talea and Hyatt got to get out and chase some elk. Tilly didn't even fall for the tricks that Grandpa and Daddy were playing on her (like that bears were after her, or that elk poo is smart pills, etc). Hyatt is a bit more trusting and came flying back to the truck after the mention of bears. Just as the rain started, we saw some bulls fighting (bull elk that is), and the baby buffalo were just born and running around with their herd. We even found a lost sheep, which looked pretty scrawny from just being sheared, but it ran away as soon as Tilly tried to touch it. I forgot my camera in our car for most of this adventure, but when we got back to the lodge, I grabbed it.

This is what they hang the elk up on after the hunt, but Tilly thought it was a great amusement ride.

In the lodge, there are tons of animal heads on the walls, and even sitting (without antlers) on the fireplace hearth.

It's a beautiful place, and it's so fun to have Grandpa only about 10 miles away!!! Such a treat!

Tilly's school has offered some fun field trips each month (corn mazes, parks, etc) but we've never been able to/remembered to attend one until last Friday.

Being the family man he is, Hyrum ditched his Anat/Phys class for the first time ever to join us on Tilly's last (yet first to her) field trip to...Craters of the Moon! Hyrum and I have been there together twice now. First, it was just the two of us, 11 years ago, while we were dating, but we didn't actually go into the Park. We just got our picture by the sign. 4 years later we went with Daisha and Edward on our way to Wyoming, just after they got engaged, and while I newly pregnant with Talea, but wouldn't know that for a few more days.

It's an hour and a half drive from Rexburg to the Craters, and on our way, just outside of Rexburg, we passed by the infamous "Beaver Dick Park". It actually looks like a fun place to camp and swim!


Then, in Arco (which is next to the nuclear plant), we just HAD to stop at Pickle's Place to try one of their "atomic burgers" that they're famous for. We may have stopped there with D&E, but couldn't remember, and a place with a name and picture like that just had to be experienced.

This place even serves breakfast until 11:34 am. I guess that's humorous?

I forgot to take a picture of the burger until I was half-way done, so it looks a little gross, but just so you know, it tasted about as fabulous as this picture looks. I would pass on it next time. The rubber mushrooms were a little scary.

Talea was just excited to be able to sit on a bar stool

and Hyatt soon joined her.

I don't recommend Pickle's Place unless you just want to say you've been there before.

We hurried on to the Craters to meet up with the other kids from Tilly's school who came from around the state of Idaho. (Tilly's in the white sun hat on the table.)

We had a Q&A session with the ranger, in which Talea came up with the golden question. She asked why lava rocks have holes in them, so the ranger had her come to the front and perform an experiment to demonstrate the answer (which was from gas bubbles), then we were set loose to explore. (Don't the clouds in the background look like a painted backdrop?)

The kids were thrilled to find the chipmunks and bluebirds that we were promised to sight, and we identified the two types of lava (phonetically pronounced Pah-hoy-hoy and Ah-Ah) and some strange shapes that they make.


We even discovered there was a volcano there named Paisley Cone, so we took pictures.

It was a perfect day there since it wasn't very windy. The last time we explored the Craters, it was blowing so hard you could lean way into the wind without falling. It was only enough to ruffle our hair on this day.

We opted to not explore the caves with the kids until they were all older and able to scramble around on their own, but we did find some mini caves that the kids crawled into.

Tilly, being the adventurous type, crawled through and popped out the top of this cave.

Then Hyrum followed the kids as they ran up this hill, and back down again.

Hyatt was so proud that he won the race back down. Tilly was too fascinated by chipmunk hunting to join the race.

The lava is all black here, so they coat the sidewalks and curbs and roads with black so they blend in. It looks so good.

Next came the climb up Inferno cone, which is next to Paisley Cone. This is the volcano that was so windy on top that you could lean over to what felt like a 45 degree angle and not even fall over when we hiked up it with D&E 7 years ago.

Talea and Hyatt literally ran the entire way up this volcano, which has something like 750 feet of elevation gain in .2 miles if I remember correctly, and Kiersa ran more than half way up with them, until she decided she'd rather lag back with the slow pokes.
(By the way, what looks like the top that you're seeing here is actually only half way up.)

How can Talea have the stamina to run up a volcano when she can't even walk more than a few blocks without complaining that she wants to ride in the stroller? And why don't [all] adults get to have that kind of energy? I thought about trying to run up the hill for about two seconds, until I decided I'd rather die. I'm the gal who needs to hang onto Hyrum's pockets to be drug up a mountain, even when I'm in my best shape.

Talea reached the top first, and when Hyatt made it up right after her, she gave him a huge hug. It was so cute! I had to have them reinact it when I caught up to them (several minutes later).

It's kind of weird to think you're standing on top of a dormant (but not extinct) volcano.

Talea thought it looked like we were standing on top of the world, and it really did look like she was headed to a drop off when she was walking to this tree to sit down. Hyatt and Kiersa were panicking and calling her name and running after her to stop her!

Paisli did pretty well walking around on loose lava rock,

experiencing only one fall.

It looks like she's going to take after Talea with her desire to climb everything now.


The view from up there really was beautiful, in a barren, desolate, Idahoan kind of way.

We met a nice older man up there who took a family picture for us in front of Paisley Cone. A rare treat!

The kids wanted to race back down the mountain, but they weren't so sure of their footing, so Hyrum taught them to sidestep on the slippery parts, all the while holding pine cones for my entertainment center drawer fronts. They said not to collect rocks, but they said nothing about collecting pine cones!

By the time we got back down


two people we'd passed along the way had called Paisli a boy. What the heck!? Why did we even bother piercing her ears! She was in full purple velour-type fabric with a large "daddy's girls" printed across the front and was wearing faux-diamond earrings!

I give up. In the above picture, Paisli is standing in front of Paisley Cone. She's gonna get a lot of paisley stuff in her life, I'm afraid.

We explored a few spatter cones and the kids gave their best impression of being statues in a cave,
or at least cheesy-grin makers.

I think Hyatt must have thought he was supposed to impersonate someone having a hard time on the toilet. I dunno.

Talea did a great impression of getting her arm ripped off in a tiny lava tube, Roman Holiday style.

Though the terrain here is pretty hostile, with temperatures that can range from 135 degrees to -40 degrees, it really is a neat place to visit.

Shhhhh. Don't tell the ranger I let Talea climb to the top of this rock. She just couldn't bear not climbing something, and all the trees were sappy.

On our way out of the park, we stopped to take pictures by the Craters sign with the two kids who were awake still.

Hyrum and I got our picture taken at this sign in 1999 (11 years ago), but they've updated the sign since then, and it wasn't near so windy this time.

I love family days like this!!! We've resolved to go hiking as a family now so we get more chances for memory making.