i was here

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

25th jun, means that i hit 22. don't wish to grow up :(

i was here at 1:31 AM

Friday, June 14, 2013

There is only one thing that I know I want.

Nothing more nothing less

i was here at 6:12 AM

Thursday, June 13, 2013

With everything that is happening,

I'm telling myself to take a step back and take a break from it all

i was here at 9:38 AM

Sunday, June 9, 2013

change.

What is change?

at this day and age, maybe i never really grasp and understand this word properly. these 8 months i feel alot of changes happening in me. i change, for the better or for the worse. i love who i am, but for some reason i chose to change into someone else. i tried and i did. i turn to someone that sometimes i myself do not recognize. maybe u can't see it but i feel the change. and maybe this move made by u, tell me that it is the wrong decision.

there are many things that happened these few months. i dunno what happen with you and what ur friends have told u. i love u alot, and i think loads of people could have seen it. maybe this is better for the both of us. with all that has happened, i thought it was possible but i am way too wrong. dead wrong. and once again, all the pain that i removed years ago creeped back out. i rmb all these all too well. a heavy heart when u wake up in the morning, and it is a lasting feeling that stays through the day. but life goes on. you just have to embrace it and just live it as how it pans out for you.

"it is just how it is" this is something i always tell myself. it reminds me that everything happen for a reason. if something don't work out, try something new. it still doesn't work, keep trying other stuff. till something works and click and that's the how life is.

i think i will be perfectly fine. come on, Joshua. there will be a road that is for you to walk and maybe sooner or later there will be someone else walking this road with u :)

on a side note , from the bottom of my heart, enjoy urself. wish u two all the best.

i was here at 7:45 AM

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Time to revive this. The last time I started a blog was for one reason, it was to rant. These past two years I had nothing to rant, had an amazing run. And now all the things to rant have surfaced, time to do something to vent it out.

i was here at 10:37 PM

Monday, July 11, 2011

have i always been a filial son?

that whats i ask myself these days....

to be frank, i have not really been the best i could and know i can be.
i am not as bad as everyone thinks.
i just have loads of stuffs to do.

i have to work, i have to go to school
these 2 things is more than enough to fill up my WHOLE week.

lets just see the facts
total number of job i had since 16?
3
shortest period of time not having a job?
1 week
longest period that i didnt had a job since 16?
3 months.
which means for almost 4 years,
i have been working almost non stop week after week,
only taken that short period of time off,
after the whole senor taco incident.

7 days a week.
how many full whole day i am not doing either of those things in a year?
so in the night or on off days, i would to be relaxing and not stressing over silly
stuff, such as like a little mess on the floor or very messy rooms.
it is just little stuff that doesnt need people shouting to get it done and complaining about me not being at home all the time

UNDERSTAND THIS!!!
I AM ONLY NOT AT HOME,
IS TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR BURDEN AND LIGHTEN THE LOAD FOR YOU!

everytime, she say i am always out of the hse
where am i most of the time?
WORK!!!! or SCHOOOL!!!!
yes, i know i come from a single-parent family.
with 3 siblings.
so financially-wised, we are not as stable as we would love to be.
so, i chose to work.
to be a lesser burden.

work for myself.
work for money to spend.
to help clear my school fees.
to pay for my own transport.
to pay for my own expenses.

is that so much to ask that i get my rest without the nagging?
without being the maid of the hse once you step in it?

how i wish that the first sentence EVERYTIME you walk into the hse is
"hey, how was your day?" or at least something nice and decent
and not
"WHY IS THIS NOT DONE?" or "WHY IS THAT NOT DONE?"

even like that time when i strike 4d,
first thing that didnt came out from you was "WOW, CONGRATS"
it was "how much are you giving me?"
you know how sad was that?

i sometimes just dun understand my mum.
i try my best to be nice.
is it so hard to understand how i feel? :(

please understand that i really love to be a person who does not need to worry about stuff like that.
i already understand what i need to do,
just understand what i am going through.

i was here at 12:00 PM

Monday, June 27, 2011

dunno why, but i just feel like typing stuff out here :D

anyway, 8 more weeks to go and hopefully, if everything goes well
I'M A FREE MAN !!!
will finally be done with this crap

and another thing to note is that i am officially finished with the 2nd decade of my life.
i finally hit the "2" mark.
though it feels the same, but yet different. dunno why also.

last thing to say is that i am pretty content with my life :D
as of this moment.
people who knows me well enough knows why :)

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