This Is My Adventure

i blame work.
i blame my social life.
or really the lack of a social life.
i blame my contacts for burning my eyes.
the way they always do past 10pm.
i blame my body for losing all energy.
i blame my head for spinning.
i blame my sinuses for being stuffed up.
allergies quite possibly?
i blame my bed that isn't made.
i blame that email i just had to send.
when i should have read through first.
i blame the lack of fun.
life should have some zest in it.
i blame the time that i've lost.
sitting, because standing all day is too much.
i blame that overwhelming urge to cry.
for everything on my mind,
that seems like the easiest solution.
i blame those dry eyes.
i blame the dark empty house.
because life is busy.
i blame my insecurities.
i blame my imperfections.
because i am.
i blame myself.

Remember, You can't build forever on an idea.
It is not a very stable foundation.
It's better to be mutual.
For such a concept.
Better to accept it,
than experience it.

Looks at me and smiles.
Laughs at my singing.
Sings with me.
Dances down the halls.
Cooking, barefoot in the kitchen.
Getting to church 15 minutes early.
Has a childish side, just like me.
Worthy of Priesthood.
Captures memories.
Cuddles up for movies.
Loves me, even when I cry.
Writes love notes.
Reminds me I'm Beautiful.
Whispers in my ear.
Slow dances.
Saves me, when lost.
Makes me soup.
Runs through the sprinklers.
Knows how to be spontaneous.
Helps me to learn.
Listens a lot.
Wants me.

Jordan River Temple

Salt Lake Temple

Bountiful Temple

Provo Temple

Timpanogos Temple

Except for the enjoyment part.
Yes I do enjoy it.
But not at this pace.

Let's just say I hadn't worn jeans since Friday.

Attended Church. Helped with sunbeams.

Two hour Skype with Anziano Osmun ...and a few other Italians.

Worked a little.

Ate chocolate that Anziano Osmun sent.

"Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart."

Lately I've been feeling apprehensive. I'm probably still adjusting to being home. While up at school, I was always going, constantly doing something. I really liked it that way. This week has really been waring on me. Next week I start working, luckily. That will definitely give me less thinking time, and more time to give service. I look forward to that. 


It's been almost six weeks (Tomorrow, exactly six weeks) since the last heart break in my life. I know what you're thinking, "Six weeks.. Okay, that's a sufficient amount of time to be done." Give me a break, okay? I've heard that true love hurts. It's when expectations and reality don't match up. You find someone, and in your mind, everything is absolutely perfect. Blissful. Moments and memories are unique and one of a kind. When you realize it's all gone, over, you hold on to those moments and memories. It's hard to have let your Happily Ever After consume so much, when in a matter of slow motion minutes, it can end. Be cut off and broken. 


Don't worry. I still have faith. I know that the Lord is preparing someone for me right now. I've had that confirmation in my life. The waiting can get difficult, but it'll be worth it. I emailed big brother a little about this. He gave me some very comforting words, "That's the biggest thing I learned though. I chose whether or not I was happy. Just focus on happy things and tell yourself you are awesome and everything is okay and everything will be okay." I choose to be happy. Starting, yesterday. I can still have moments, but that cup had Better be half full.

I just taught myself Apologize by Onerepublic.
With the help of This Youtube video.
I'm quite proud. :)

School was to an end
I said I wouldn't cry
I knew it wouldn't work that way
I looked up at the sky.

As tears rolled down my face
Embracing my best friend
No worry came to mind
Not ever a bitter end.

I'd see her now and then
Not how it is today
I know we won't just stop
Or let our friendship stray.

i don't like angry friends.
i'm absolutely sick of it.
i have issues of my own to deal with.


on to homework.


cedar hills.
i'll be back in less than 24 hrs.
prepare yourself.

Went to the doctors. Then I was a big girl and went to Walmart to pick up my prescription all by myself. ..okay.. Kenzee was there and I was on the phone with my papa the whole time. Look, I didn't have my  medical card so I Had to be on the phone with my dad. And to justify having Kenz there, she offered to drive me to the appointment in the first place, it was like a package deal. Walmart was included.

Doctor says headaches like I have are normal after having a concussion. Therefore, I must have had a concussion. I had no clue. No symptoms that would have me assume that. However, I did hit my head pertty darn hard.

I went to Walmart again today. Jenjen rewarded me with a five lovely quarters and the invitation to accompany her to buy some things. I bought... Warm French bread.

Oh good news, I wore my hat today. Loooove it. Jen wore her hat too. :)