This Is My Adventure

Today I had..
fruity pebbles for breakfast,
a hot pocket for late lunch,
15 cookies and string cheese for dinner,
and then five spoonfuls of nutrients for snack.


Today I went..
to all of my classes,
to the amazing library at the institute,
and window shopped with my two brothers up here.


Today I saw...
the beautiful season we call fall,
an old friend who has kinda sorta changed.
the incredible friendships I've made.


Today I loved...
that 10 minute phone call of hope with lil sis.
the math quiz that was homework.
my room mate (like I do Every day :) duh..)


Today I learned...
what it really means to not only have standards,
but stick to them.
that even when times get tough,
I Can Do Hard Things.

Some days I feel upset, down on myself, insecure, and just a little melancholy. I'm not perfect and don't claim to be. So this is what I do..
I shut down for a few days, I push people away, and just want to be by myself. It's a terrible habit. I've tried changing it as of lately, but now I just seem moody/bipolar. Like I can't decide which I want to be, happy or down. I've pushed away one of my best friends here, I don't help to include everyone, and I've snapped at people for no good reason. It's not what I do, it's not me, I'm not like that.
I'm sorry. I hope you will forgive me. For being confusing and not knowing how to talk about how I feel, for snapping and leaving out, and for pushing you away. Especially you, I hope you can. You're one of my best friends.
I'm going to try harder. I'm going to be better. I don't care how long it takes, I don't want to be like this anymore. There's no room in this life for days wasted in the dumps. So chin up Buttercup. It's a new day.

Every thing gets on my nerves. Little things rub me the wrong way.

When you set your alarm make sure the volume is up.
If it is not, you will Not hear it, and you Will sleep through a class.

And if you have no milk to make Pasta-roni, you may or may not be forced to eat chili.

Oh, and if a skate boarder runs into you. You're ankle Will throb.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. .

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to leave you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure;

You really are strong, you really do have worth.

And you learn, and you learn

With every goodbye you learn.

I miss Michael Zajac so much that I...


Watched Titanic tonight while painting.
With Jenjen, Lauren and Maegan. 
Shed a tear, and made it my fav movie.
Listened to the song that we used to dance to.
"Near... Far.. Where EVER YOU ARE!"
And then it all went down hill from there.
My feet caught the corner of the couch,
I spun around one more time. 
I felt something stab my stomach.
And there I was...
Stomach piercing with hurt.
Head against that wall.


We all laughed and cried.
Then did a replay,
for Kicks and Giggles.  

(it was my retainer.)


Today I had a slight break down. School and Life stress me out. Spending money hurts my heart. I tripped and scraped my leg. Oh, and my eyelids have been swollen for three days. I cried. They hurt so bad. 


Then this happened.
I was doing English homework, she was doing Psychology.
We listened to Cinderella (Rogers and Hammerstein version of course) while doing our homework.
Talked and ate peaches (my room mate helps me stay healthy).
I talked on facebook with an old friend from high school.
And then we went to bed late.
I may or may not be getting roughly three hours of sleep.


My bed has never felt so good.
Until three hours from now, gnight.

I forgot to tell you about an adventure I went on last week. I have a friend. Yeah, I know, weird. Ha ha, Just kidding. His name is Mike.
Last Wednesday Mike and I went on a Jeep ride up the mountain. Really, we went to Logan Peak. Top of the mountain. We tried getting back so he could go to his later class, which I think is stupid. I don't think I could get myself to go to any class after 3:00pm or before 9:30am.
Anyway, back to the story. We started to head back and went down a different way. Found a waterfall, took pictures, etc. Ended up driving the Jeep into the water to sit by the waterfall, on top of his Jeep, listening to country music. Yep, It was absolutely splendid! I will not lie.
We drove back, he dropped me off. I couldn't help but texting to say thank you and that it was Amazing! So, naturally, I did.
And here I am. Sitting in my room, reminiscing on Jeeps, country music that cut out every ten seconds, waterfalls, singing Taylor Swift as loud as we could. Hey Mike, let's do something again. :)

Here's the Jeep.. that may or may not have captured my heart. (on top of the mountain, might I add.)

Random waterfall? Okay!