JP Beaty's Blog

Well tomorrow is fall con over at the state fair grounds. I will be there from about noon to the end of the show. Please stop by, say hello and pick up a copy of my new book law shark.

More text art. One day I intend to write a book with the technique. Also my magpies going up tomorrow. And as a final piece of "necessary" information I will be tabling with Sam Hiti and Lewis Tuck a Minnesota Fallcon http://midwestcomicbook.com/.

A drawing I did for the invitation for a neighborhood Halloween party.

The Adventures of alan moore is now up at this link http://1890comic.blogspot.com/ enjoy.

I stand next to the mirror fiddling unnecessarily with my tie. I almost put in contacts but then think if I wear glasses it will make me look more distinguished. For a last touch I dab on some cologne and make my way into my office. I print off directions to the restaurant and I am out the door. On the way, I stop at a store and pick up some flowers to make a good impression. As I continue my drive, I contemplate what I am doing. I'm about to go on a date with some seemingly random woman from the Internet and I worry about making a good impression.

I shake that off that feeling of insecurity as I pull up to the restaurant and exit my car. I take a deep breath and enter the establishment. Inside, I immediately see one woman drinking a glass of white wine and checking the clock obsessively. I know instantly she's my date. I nervously walk up to her and ask "Are you Karen Green?" She answers meekly, "Yes... why do you ask?" I reply, "Well, I'm Will Navidson and.." Quickly, her expression changes as she says, "Hold on a second, you're my date?" "Um yes", I reply." She then looks reflectively at her wine glass and says, "Look, I'm sorry but I don't date your type." Now, I am stumped. So I reply -- now the meek one, "Oh, um that's too bad." I then leave, head down.

On the way out I dump the flowers into the trash and shake my head. Dating is hard if you're a yeti.

This is a magpie tale. The yeti in this story is based on the same idea from my swamp monster story awhile back http://jpbeaty.blogspot.com/2010/07/in-awful-humidity-that-is-so-often.html#comments

Here are portraits of people that I've seen recently. Some are friends and some are people I've just walked by, bought coffee from, or just seen from the window of a car

Snakeman the celebrity fends off the paparazzi.

I had been in the doctor’s office for the better part of an hour. I sat waiting for a diagnosis that I hoped would disprove my suspicions, yet I was ready to take it. After all, working in a biochemical plant is like playing the disease lottery. Even so, it came as a jolt of surprise when the doctor reported that an abnormal tumor was growing within my right arm and the arm might have to be amputated. However, he encouraged calm as I waited for the MRI results to return. Just as I thought, the doctor came out of his office with a grave look on his face. I walked over to him. “Did it come back positive?” The doctor just nodded gravely.

Two days later it was time for surgery. I laid spread eagle on the metal table. The doctor pulled a painful looking needle from the tray beside me. “This will only hurt a bit and then you will fade to black…” The next second I was out cold.

When I came to, I expected to awake in a normal hospital bed with family and friends at my bedside. Instead, I saw various doctors and nurses in a state of panic. I could tell something was seriously wrong. Then the doctor said panicked in a low worried voice, “How does one amputate the wrong arm?!”
new short story...

An rough sketch for a print I call law sharks.

Well tomorrow morning I'm off to MIX... I am at table 67... see everyone there.

For the next week I will be out of town in a place with no computers so I will not post. However when I get home it will be MIX and I'll be sure to post some photos. until then...
The final front and back covers for The Adventures of Alan Moore

ACT I

Curtain opens on a living room. Will is standing alone talking on the phone.

Will: Hey man how’s it going? Yeah she’s coming home. No I haven’t proposed. Can you get off my back about it? Ah it’s fine mom. Hey did you hear about the zombie outbreak by my house? Nah it was pretty minor no need to worry. Wait she’s coming in gotta go.

Ramona comes through the door she is crying.

Will: What’s wrong?

Ramona: I…I got…got

Will: What? What happened?

Ramona: I got bit!

Cries harder

Will: Bit! Bit by what?

Ramona: A zombie!

Will: No! how could this happen?

Ramona (sobs): Well (sniffles) I was walking home form work alone I might add and well I dropped my purse and as I bent over a…a zombie bit me in the arm.

Will: No does that mean…

Ramona: yes I have 3 hours until I…

Will: no this can’t be happening not to you… Wait I have an idea! I just read an article in um the New York Times that says zombies really are still human or something.

Ramona: well ok then…

They sit down there is silence for some time.
Will is sitting in the easy chair looking worried as is Ramona. suddenly she bolts up as if she just had a great idea.
Ramona: you know I’ve been doing some thinking. Maybe once I’m a zombie I can keep myself from eating you or anyone else. I mean I’m still a human right and even if I lose that I’ll still have my humanity. Now that I have thought about it I know that I don’t have to be a bloodthirsty zombie. I can be a nice zombie. In fact I’ll change the way people see the walking dead. I can change the world show them that zombies can be sweet and caring without the craving for Man. And then I can teach the other zombies that just because their undead doesn’t mean their not human beings.

Will: what are you crazy! No we are not accepting this. We will go down fighting!

Ramona: No I’m gonna become a zombie so why fight it.

Will: Why fight it!? Honey why are you talking like that? Wait a second… lack of fighting spirit. That…that’s one of the fist signs!

Ramona: What are you talking about? all I’m saying is that…

Will slaps her.

Ramona: What was that for!

Will: Funny I read somewhere that if you slap them it might…

Ramona: Shut up! I don’t care what you read. Once you’ve been bitten there’s no turning back! God men!

Ramona sits back down and turns away from Will. Awkward pause

Will: look Ramona I’m sorry I that I…

Ramona: No I understand and even though there’s no cure I’m ok with you trying out you (finger quotes) methods for preventing it.

Will: Ok then I’m going to the Internet.

Ramona: good and can you grab me some raw meat from the fridge.

Will: oh god…snap out it!

Ramona: Snap out of what!?

Will: I don’t know your zombieness.

Ramona: Look are you gonna be this paranoid all I wanted to do was eat raw meat…

Will: that’s the problem… I mean what human wants raw meat…

Ramona: Well I do!

Will: Fine I give up have your raw meat!!

Ramona: well if it means so much to you fine I’m not even hungry any more….

They sit in silence for a minute. Finally Will sighs goes to the freezer brings back a steak.

Will: here you go

Ramona: thank you Will I know it was difficult for you…

Will: well this is as far as I’m going to accept your transformation… I will stop this!

End Act I

Act 1 of the play I'm writing future zombie.

Minnesota's alt weekly city pages does a comix issue every year where indie cartoonists send in comics acording to a certain theme. Anyway my comic snakeman declares independence is up right now check it out. http://www.citypages.com/microsites/comics-beaty/, it is under jp beaty.

well after a long period of work the fist issue of adventures of alan moore are finished and will be printed later this week. It will be premiered at the Minneapolis indie expo http://mplsindiexpo.com/ later this month. For those in the area it's sure to be a great time. Also if any readers want a copy I will try to sell online.

Ok this post may take a bit of explaining. I tried an experiment where I tried to remember a dream I had the night before and draw it. Now the dream in question happened to be a weird one. The dream was a sort of Mesa in the desert with a building made of text on top. So there you go.

“Why did the chicken cross the road?” This simple question has baffled people for centuries. It is time we got a definitive scientific answer to this enigma. This essay will try to answer this age old riddle in a non byes scientific essay. To start we need to be sure it is even possible for poultry to cross a road. If we assume the road in question is say, a county lane, the factors involved would include the status of the road, the ratios of cow pies to soil, the amount of meat in the chicken and friction. My hypostasis was originally that the chicken would be unable to cross the road. To test my theory I went to Dr. Johan Von Strausenburger head of farm animal research at Texas A&M. During my meeting he with he said with no variables changed and no outside factors acting upon the chicken it was physically able to cross the road. He did however say he seriously doubted that under real world conditions that the chicken could cross the road. Just to be completely sure I decided to perform an experiment to test the possibility of chickens crossing lanes. At the lane where I was to do the experiment I met farmer Biff Brownstone. He said he once knew a man who supposedly saw a chicken cross a road. Brownstone then snorted and returned to his work. After meeting Biff I took readings of the various variables of the road. I then released the chicken onto the road. I was shocked to see what happened next. The chicken actually succeeded in crossing the road. Several more tests with different chickens proved that the first test wasn’t just a scientific anomaly. I do believe that this discovery will shake the scientific world for decades to come. To think an animal lacking in human intelligence was able to go through the thought the complex posses of the muscles movement needed to cross a road. It is also truly amazing to think that just 30 years ago it was not believed that animals could even walk. That being said it may be possible for a lower life form to communicate or even to think. This discovery opens many doors but also terrifying questions such as what if animals can express emotion a poses long thought to be unique to humans? To answer these questions further research is necessary. Now that’s its established that chickens can indeed cross roads (much to my surprise) we now must answer the fundamental question of why. For this I go famed animal psychologist Rupert Maunkiul. As I tell him about my studies he reacts puzzled when I told him that a chicken was able to cross the road. After several days of intense questioning we came to the fallowing thesis. While the average person may believe the chicken was motivated by such factors as food or mating we decided to dig deeper into the mind of a chicken.

The start of a satire of scientific studies. As an extra challenge (and a good writing exercise) try and finish it. I'd love to read the results.

Don't worry just because zombies look threatening they really just want to be your friend... right?

In honor of Shark Week I have drawn sharks in humans clothes and humans in the water waiting to attack.

Quick self portrait in ink

noir

A random doodle of a squid party.

Int diner early morning.
Main character (MARK) is sitting moping while drinking a cup of coffee. We see him looking at various couples around the diner performing public displays of affection. His brow furrows. He snorts angrily and returns to his drink. Then entering the diner is KATE a manic pixie dream girl who radiates energy. She sees MARK moping and decides to walk over though she has no idea who he is. She slides into his booth.

KATE
Hiya person I’ve never met and just saw 5 minutes ago. I intend to become your girlfriend who will pull you out of your of the slump and help you learn about yourself.

MARK
Stop talking to me I’m trying to get over my last relationship that ended abruptly last night. I have no intention of being with another woman because my last one hurt me so bad…

KATE
So what! I’m still happy even though I’m single mother trying to balance my career as an editor at a fashion magazine while trying to raise two adorable children in the big city.

MARK
Well I’m different I’m a struggling artist who has been hurt by women far too many times. So no I don’t want to go out with you!

MARK storms out. KATE breaks the fourth wall and gives a knowing wink to the camera. Fade to black.

Int mall later that day

MARK and his obnoxious best friend HARRY are at the mall.

HARRY
So what was so remarkable about Super Mario bros 2 was the introduction of… (Add lib)

MARK zones out and then in the corner of his eye sees KATE and her gay roommate C@RL.

MARK (to self)
No way! It can’t be the same strange woman I met earlier today.

We see a look of discomfort cross his face as he sees that KATE and C@RL notice him.

HARRY
Um dude what’s wrong you look like you saw a ghost…


MARK
Remember that crazy girl I told you about earlier. The one who I’m weirded out by but oddly attracted to.

HARRY
Yeah why?

MARK (astonished)
I might be crazy but I think I see her again. Oh hi Kate… What are you doing here?

KATE
Well C@RL here was just helping me pick out a bridesmaid’s dress for my sister’s wedding tomorrow. Do you want to help me?

MARK
Um just one second…

Pulls HARRY aside and whispers

MARK
Should I go with her?

A sly smile crosses mark’s face.
HARRY
You like her don’t you?

Mark looks around in desperation.
MARK
Yes even though she is completely crazy I think I am beginning to fall in love with her.

HARRY
Well if you think that I’ll leave you two alone. (outward) Well I’ll just be at game stop but MARK would love to join you.

MONTAGUE
KATE is shown trying on various outfits each of witch prompts MARK and C@RL to give thumbs down until the last one witch they give thumbs up to.

Int food court later
they are sitting with shopping bags slung over the chairs. They look tiered yet happy as though the just had a good time. KATE is laughing and then her cell phone rings

KATE
Hello… yes what do you mean you can’t make it… yes it’s a big deal… ok I’ll have to figure something out. Ok good bye. (puts down phone) My sitter just called she can’t babysit the kids tonight. oh and on the night of my best friend’s wedding…
MARK

I’ll babysit your kids so I can gain your trust and make you love me.


ok this is me trying my hand at 2 forms of new writing: screenwriting and parody. This is meant as a satire of romantic comedies. I tried to use every cliche ever used in those types of movies. I will be adding the rest when I finish.

new adventures of Alan Moore update: the penciling is complete for the first issue of the new adventures of Alan Moore. The inking should be done by the end of this month.
here is the final list of real people appearing in issue #1
1. Alan Moore (obviously)
2. Andrew Zimmern
3. Grant Morrison
4. Neil Gaiman
5. My friend Adam
6. My friend Henry Dykstal
7. Jason Maraz
8. Muse
9. Maha
10. Todd McFarlane (final boss)

also for the covers I plan to rip off famous art that uses Alan Moore instead of the subjects of the painting. For instance the first cover will be The Scream.

Dwight Schrute from the office with his favorite things: bears beets battlestar galactica

My band the G-Raffs. I play guitar in it

In the awful humidity that is so often associated with summer sits a woman intently tapping on the chair leg as if a victim of some odd nervous disorder.In the distance she hears fourth of july fire crackers. they seem however to be in another world. Her husband had said he would return over an hour ago. She reaches for her cell phone once again. Like every other attempt, all she receives is a prerecorded message informing her that her husband's phone has been turned off. She curses her own poor lack of foresight in forgetting to bring the charger. Finally, after waiting another half an hour, she can take it no more and strides into the awful smelling forest surrounding the house. However, by the time the lights from the house have faded she regrets her rash action. The dark swamp seems to be an alien planet. The trees are draped with slimy moss and deep in thick mud. The woman by now in the clutches of fear pulls her cell phone from her pocket. The illumination however lasts only for several seconds as the woman's shaking hands drop the phone into the mud causing it to die as it slithers out of sight.


The sounds of the swamp have become increasingly threatening. Then, up ahead from behind a tree comes a soft glow. She breaks into a sprint leaving one of her shoes behind in the mud and falling face first into the glowing clearing. As she looks up, there sits her husband and a strange creature. "Honey it's you...we have to get out of here...there's a..." Her husband responds in a knowing tone, "I know, there is swamp monster here and he happens to be my uncle, and he appears to be extremely annoyed by you." The swamp monster nods as if to prove her husband's point. The wife responds "Wait, your uncle was reported missing years ago." At this point, the husband looks at his hands and sheepishly shares "well honey, there is something about me -- scratch that -- my family that I neglected to tell you. See my family has a genetic condition where one branch of each generation must become a swamp monster...or yeti...or something. We fill humanity's need for mythical creatures. My uncle was the monster of his generation and we are being asked to be the monsters of ours." He cringes as he waits for his wife's response. She replies in complete disbelief, "So you are saying that I need to turn into a swamp monster?" At this point his uncle intones in a grave voice "Being a monster isn't all bad, in fact you get access to magic areas of all major cities and free seats at sporting and artistic events. And you are given a nice home in a secluded swamp somewhere." The woman stands mouth gaping open until replying to her husband "Let me guess. You are going to do this anyway, right?" The husband slowly nods confirmation. In a reply that even surprises herself she says "well, then I guess I will too." With that, the uncle begins the ceremony.



The next day a young couple is reported missing. The case remains open. On the same day many people report seeing three "swamp monsters" moving away from town.

A local man's encounter with the monsters

http://magpietales.blogspot.com

The cover of the book I'm currently working on "The New Adventures of Alan Moore." It fallows the adventures of the eccentric comic writer Alan Moore (He is real by the way) as he tries to avoid selling out. Also I will include as many real people (including jason maraz, muse, Grant morrison, Sam Hiti, Will Dinski, Andrew Zimmern, JK Rowling, and various other politicians writers and artists.) I will also include any other bloggers who want to be in the book. If you want to just leave me a comment.

I will on vacation this next week so I will not be posting. Will miss you all and will post again this weekend.

A drawing of the shore of the great lakes. Also go wish Maha http://lostmelody-m.blogspot.com/ a happy birthday

some caracatures

Hello fans of JP's comics and stuff. I have begun to post my comic 1890 at this link http://1890comic.blogspot.com/. If you have any questions ideas feel free to comment on the blog. Also if you enjoy it please spread the word. Thanks. UPDATE the entire thing is up check it out.

A royal guard from Star Wars who in my humble opinion are some of the coolest looking characters of all time.

Study of my hands.

Today I got back my art portfolio at school. Here's some of the pieces.