i am so darn tired.
flying papers is fun.
but it seems to burn more calories than i expect.
and i realli hope to lose the weight i gained.
but in reality-
i wanna gain back what i have lost.
and nothing is gonna stand in my way.
no matter how long it takes.
i will wait.
for i know i have and will treasure those times.
i might have made euu` angry.
but its all over now.
and i will try my best ;
my very best.
to do all i can.
and i will wait till the day you turn around.
i dun mind being in your shadows.
i realli dun mind.
and i realli hope tt day will come.
will you let it?

okays.
h0ls are over.
and I, am gonna work on my brand new...
EXERCISE PLAN.
it seems to fit into my schedule perfectly.
hahahs.
so i suppose.
no more playing.
and all studying and exercising.
since my mum dun want me working.
hahahs.
i haven't completed my holiday assignments.
and i have no mood to do it already.
ahahahs.
i am like getting ready to go to school and start all over again.
heheh.
and i suppose i have to cut down on the food that i am eating.
i am eating twice as much as my cousin!!
and i suppose i will be twice her size too.
wahahax.
so.
i suppose my exercise plan will benefit me.
heehee.
anyway,
wahahax.
SCHOOL IS REOPENed.
ahahahs.
but too bad i have to sit with landon again....
hahahs.
lalalas.
okays.
not many more hours of going online for me!!
so i better go online for as long as i like.
haiis.
now my ah gong got so manii problems with his gf.
hai yo..
and i dunno whether i got time to come online to comfort him.
anyway.
aiya....
AHHHHHHH!!!!
nvm lahs!!!
what am i doing...
hahahs.
okays.
anyway ....LOL.
hahas.
wahahahahahahahahahax.
get ready for people!!!
its gonna be sooo exciting!
oh mann.
woohOOO!!!
i just got addicted to another korean drama.
wahahax.
My Beloved!
wahahax.
i am gonna buy the whole set!
heehee.
sangdu <3 enhuan

the science project is done already!!
we are doing on the topic :
How long can roses last in Chinese herbs.
ahahs.
so.
ytd.
i didn't go for band lahs.
i suddenly had a kind of intolerable crampage of stomach.
and i went to the toilet for a total of six times.
oh mann.
hahahs.
then after band yue an came over to my house to do the science project!
wahahax.
amanda came over too.
theresa had to work so she couldn't make it.
we bought roses at a dollar each only.
and pin hui sponsored us our herbs.
wahahax.
thank you sososososo much.
hahahs.
okays.
back to the point eh.
WE ONLY HAVE A WEEK AND A HALF OF HOLS LEFT.
so sad.
so must quickly do home work.
if not confirm die de.
wahahahs.
anyway.
today i am not realli in the mood to blog.
so i might as well watch some shows.
my drama serial is screening now!!!
catch you guys sooN!

ahahahx.
i am feeling so much better already.
i just had a cold war with my mum. [and its still going on]
bUT!
i killed loads of monsters in ms .
sooo.. guess its alright.
hahahs.
today amanda came over.
my sis is staying over at my cousin's.
so..
we had the whole hse to ourselves.
we had a FULL COURSE western cuisine!!!
i meant.
ALMOST a full course.
it excluded a soup and a salad.
hahahs.
we had spaghetti , fries and nuggets!
hahahs.
cool eh?
and we played ms the whole day long.
then amanda went for her training at clementi.
she is going to the nationals for taekwondo!!
and taekwondo orginated from kOrea!!!!
wOOhOOOOOO!!
soo cooL!!
haahs.
i wanted to join it.
BUT.
i dun think i have time .
so...
the whole day passed liddat.
i do not wish to mention what happened at night.
soooo.
its liddat bahs.
i feel satisfied. yet disatisfied.
i feel satisfied just pouring out EVERYTHING in an email.
yet disatisfied in my mum getting angry over the slightest things when i tried my best to give in to her.
oh mann.
what ever the case.
i am still going to bed with my pride unhurt at all.
i dun care.
i will wake up as usual and go for band.
hahahs.
theresa is suffering from cough.
i wonder if shes okay.
first is yue an and now its her.
oh mann.
hahahs.
tml we are gonna do the maths and science project.
so i guess it would cheer me up even more.
i am gonna collect the herbs from pinhui in school.
buy roses with yue an after school at the mall.
and rush back home to open the door for amanda by 1330.
so its sort of a tight schedule.
wahahahx.
but rushing around would be fun.
hahahs.
everyone is gaining back their pleasures in life once more.
more smiles are returning to their owners.
their look brighter than before.
and i love every bit of their smiles.
but i realli hope i won't lose mine.
maybe i am tooo obsessed with my future plans.
i am thinking to far ahead to and rushing to fast to get it.
too fast to actualli treasure and cherish what is right in front of me.
too fast to actualli enjoy myself.
i suddennly feel my obssession is getting me no where.
so i should actualli stretch out both my arms and embrace those pleasant memories i can create.
creation of memories lie in my hands.
i have the power to create happy and sweet memories.
smiling and laughing.
having lotsa fun!
well...
it is nice.
but my creation don't end here.
it creates horrible, embarrassing yet disgraceful memories.
filled with tears. screams. terror.
i dun like them.
but when you recall them in the future.
they seem to funny. so weird.
sometimes even a lesson we can learn from.
but.
wahahax.
i hate to mention it.
but we get paranoid over them.
like me.
i am over- paranoid already.
i still dun wish to get brothers.
and i dun wish to get close to them.
because i dun wanna lose them.
and so far.
i think i haven't gotten over that paranoia.
hahhas.
aren't i a failure.
what ever the case.
i still live life to the fullest.
without scaring myself much of cox.
hahahs.
so.
i hope everyone live life to its best.
i dun wish to give up the hope of having them as friends.
or even brothers.
they can help me regain confidence.
wahahahx.
anyway.
i still see hope.
because if joanne can wait for tt day to come.
i can too.
i might be waiting for a longer period of time.
but if that day ever comes.
it will be worth the waiting.
i dun mind.
so whatever the outcome may be.
i will wait.
and wait i shall!!!!!!
ahhahas.
good nite everyone.
do your HOMEWORK.
hahahs.
TAG MY BOARD PPL!

oh mann-
i DID NOT enjoy my cruise h0ls.
nonononono. XXXX
the food was HORRID.
yeck. yuck. PUI!!!
ahahahs.
everyday was the same thing.
all over and over again.
sianx lo.
but EXCEPT for the part when i went into
the Lido to watch Sopressa!,
wahhhhooooo!
so cool !!
heehee.
but there is no water available for drinking.
inthe sense.
they charge a HUMONGOUS sum of 4BUCKS for a CUP of milo!
this is another version of DAYLIGHT ROBBERY.
alamak.
then they close their buffets at one in the morning.
oh mann.
and i am soooooo hungry at that time.
how idiotic.
arghhhh.
the cabin was soooooooooooo comfy!!
but their tv was sooooo lag.
onli some channels available niax...
the whole ship was soooooo cold.
and i wondered how those girls could survive without getting goosebumps
wearing mini skirts and spaghettis walking around indoors the whole time.
i couldn't even survive without my track pants and jacket.
hahahs.
but they pro siax.
so immune to coldness.
hahahs.
and i suddenly realised how boring this WHOLE ship is when you are
NOT above 18!
you can't enter the casino which is the ONLY place open and fully lit at night.
you can't use the karaoke lounge.
whats more.
the movie theatre shows movies which came out last year.
they have onli have 3 duty free shops [ and they close at 2130 ]
the arcade is ALWAYS filled with people. [ and there is NO para machine there ]
the verii lame ddr machine there costs 1BUCK and only have TWO stages.
SOOOO EX.
argghhh.
and the pool!?
FILLED.
the jacuzzi!?
FILLED.
ARGHHHH!!!!!
so lame...
soo..
NO MORE CRUISES FOR ME.
NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now.
i am gonna continue living my life as usual..
hahahs.
tts all bahs.
woohOO!
hahahs.
byebye peepox!
enj0y your h0ls!!!

wahahax~*
i am ALMOST done with my maths homework!!!
but i still forgot i got a whole lot more of projects left..
AND!
i MUST read one PATHETIC, OLD, ANCIENT, CHINESE book.
i dislike chinese..
in the sense of READING chinese.
it makes me dizzy.
so i guess i wont be doing that particular assignment.
i would probably fall asleep reading the first page.
wahahas//
okays..
i am going out tomorrow.!!!!
i knoe.. i am breaking a rule tt i set for myself..
BUT!
i am going for band!!!
and my cruise holiday!!!
envious?
hahahas.
buffet 24 hrs a day!!!!
woohoOO!!
hahahas.
okays..
anyway...
after my cruise means no more going out for me.
UNLESS.
i am doing a project.
and the bad thing is.
i dont think we will ever be able to complete that project.
ahahs.
okays.
nvm.
perhaps i would spend more time doing other stuff.
i realised my whole fridge is only filled with FROZEN food.
how am I supposed to eat that?
and i hate to wait for it to thaw..
hahahs.
what ever.
maybe i would consider stocking up when i come back from
my 72 hrs buffet!
[ 3 days mean 72 hrs, and i am spending 3 days in the cruise. ]
wahahax.
and i realli hope my aunt would actualli return me my vcds.
i miss them so ooooo much!!!
hahahs.
nth much is happening around me.
my life is going on as i planned.
hahahs.
and i suppose my bills would be quuuitttee high.
i spend my whole day at home you see.
heehee.
i am actualli becoming more like a very bossy sister.
hahahs.
i keep asking my sister to do her assessment book.
i shout at her when i catch her jumping on the bed.
i threaten to call my mum when i see her chatting with guys.
hahahas.
lame ol' me.
perhaps this is what happens when i am too bored.
ahahahs.
yue an is always using the com and i can't call through.
theresa is out shopping.
amanda.? she is playing ms.
clarice???? I CAN't call through either.
debbie.... she is down with a flu and i suppose she needs rest.
hahahs.
so here i am talking to the com.
in other words.
telling the computer what i would actualli say to my friends.
hahahs.
okays.
this is it..
BAND TML!
i dunno why..
perhaps i miss going out.
and attending school will be the onli time i will be able to go out.
and the lesser i go out the lesser amount of money i would spend.
this is part and parcel of my plan.
hahahs.
i have further details to go into.
but i guess i see no meed in publicising it on the net.
hahahs.
i realli realli wanna grow up.
i wanna give my mum a life she has always wanted.
hahas.
she wants to live in korea!
just like me.
i guess its not easy.
but i must still try no matter what!!
ahahas.
too early to say such things actualli.
so..
better cross my fingers!!!
ahahas.
i wonder...
enjoy your holidays peepx!!!!!
capture every moment of it!!!

i've come to a conclusion.
anxious to know what it is?
i am gonna give up the extermination plan.
i don't have the right to control how ppl think..
and whats more. i don't think ppl agree with how i think.
she might be bad to me.
but not to others.
therefore i have agreed with myself to let life go on as usual.
why not live life to the fullest instead of planning some sort
of scheming and evil plan to exterminate someone in my own
thought that is evil?
maybe i should be myself again.
i love looking at things at a different point of view.
so why not.
instead of thinking : 'she is EVIL! '
i can start thinking : 'she is NICE! '
she mean no harm to me.
maybe i am looking too much into the matter.
i think i needa think more of the consequences.
i will not gain anything after she is exterminated.
and i dun think others feel she SHOULD BE exterminated.
whats more. AFTER she is exterminated.
i lose a friend.
and next.
my WHOLE group hates me.
so i benefit nothing at all.
therefore i have given up that thought.
and i have started planning something even more interesting.
i am starting to plan MY FUTURE.
why not plan something useful instead of getting engrossed in some kinda
plan that will not benefit me?
i am planning to migrate to Korea~
i am gonna scrimp and save.
its onli part of my plan.
hahahs.
i needa study harder too.
so tt i can earn more.
nn so the onli way to accomplish these two tasks is to stay at home!
hahas.
no spending of money and i can concentrate on studying better.
woohoOO!!
wanna join me?!
so therefore.
i will stay at home this whole of the june holidays.!
no more spending of money!
hehee.
anyway.
i'm sorriex for not being able to go out with you guys..
sorry yeah?!
i miss you guyx loads!!!!!

i don't know..
should i continue to carry out my extermination plan?
will it benefit me or the group?
or is it just my wishful part of thinking?
my own selfish thoughts....
maybe i am just being selfish.
i think i should consider the consequences..
how it will affect everyone else.
should i just live the life as it is..
and let nature take its course?
or create a new path.
a new world.
a new beginning.
but it was never mine to begin with.
so what makes me so sure i can do it?
what if everyone disagrees?
what if everyone takes me for a chaos maker?
oh mann.
THINK SYLVIA.
THINK.
my mind is spinning.
i dunno what to do....
step aside and let things happen ?
i can't do that.
but i have no right to stand in the middle too..
what should i do?
arghhhh.
nvm.
whats more.
i have a whole lot of time to think about it.
i am not going to use the phone tt much anymore.
in case i get myself muddled up again.
i am stuck in my house for a month.
and i will make sure i use this time to settle the problem.
whats worse.
my sis lent my whole set of Lovers in Paris to my aunt.
and now i have one less thing to keep me occupied.
so sians lahs.
i cannot go out.
i am stuck to the kitchen. my com. my tv.
tts all.
the whole day.
my kitchen. my com. my tv.
i can't go for my class outing.
and i am afraid ;;
my trombone outing.
but i will do my best.
anyway.
will try to update it more often bahs.
bye.
TAG MY BOARD PPL.

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.