It's 2022. I'm turning 30 this year.
I'm not excited, nor am I upset about it. My feelings towards life these days is a general meh-ness. A certain kind of lost-ness. I don't think I'm depressed, I still feel a lot of joy from small things. I love my daily coffees, I look forward to my time in the garden, every hug I get from my family brings me comfort and security. I have friends who I love and trust, and I have absolute faith that we'll be friends to death. I have a beautiful home, I'm healthy. I'm not unhappy.
The problem is that I'm not happy either. While the small things in life are fine, the big things in life are missing. I feel as if I'm missing out in big milestones and my life has hit a plateau. I'm wasting my potential in a way. I'm beautiful but haven't found a partner who complements me. I'm smart but haven't found a way to fully make use of it at work. I'm financially comfortable but not enough to have assets of my own.
So I think my 30s are going to be big. My make or break decade.
I need to find a way to shake off my small comforts and make the big things happen.
I'm terrified, to be honest.
